TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

Reported.

This morning brought 3 of the shiniest bfns anyone has ever seen. Might have had my first experience of a chemical and just haven’t started af as been using the cyclogest. I kept checking the frer from Sunday and I had 3 positive tests, but then it was early. Expecting a slightly embarrassing call from the rmc this morning saying bloods show nothing! Not sure where my head is at right now. DH will either be gutted or relieved, not sure at the moment.

I’m sorry to hear that Anne. There was no mistaking the first BFP so think definitely a chemical. Don’t be embarrassed if bloods show nothing, everyone in clinic will understand.

It’s ok to feel gutted or relieved or a mix of both. All understandable feelings in the circumstances. Hope you can do something kind for yourself today.

Had a missed call from clinic at half 8, tried a bunch of times to get through but no one there, and not heard a peep back. As far as she's concerned, if the result is negative, I wouldn't know until she'd told me and I'd be planning to have the second blood test tomorrow and carry on with the meds. So it's a bit baffling there's no word.

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm so sorry.

Anne I hope you get a call back soon.

Thank you. Not a peep! I've jabbed, which is almost certainly pointless. Hoping for a call in the morning and won't have to bother with blood test before apt as it'll let me have an extra hour at work. Apt will be what it will be, uncomplicated by a new pregnancy but with a plan for next time.

DH reckons he's both a bit gutted and a bit relieved, but mainly highly confused.

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm so sorry lovely. Hopefully you had a phone call this morning to clear things up either way. Hoping your appointment goes well today.

@Miami81 how are things going with you? Have you been in touch with any more specialists?

@Paranormalbouquet hope you are healing ok!

Ladies help please......need lots of hand holding! BFP this morning, due AF on Friday so very early days. My RMC appointment isn't until end of July so what do I do? Bugger!

Oh and just so I have a stick to beat myself with if things go wrong again we were at a wedding over the weekend and I got a bit (very) tipsy. Whilst at said wedding was blatantly obvious that there's another baby bomb brewing so I drowned my sorrows!

Oh wow Labmum! Congratulations darling! Don't beat yourself up! In the early days, it's feeding off its own little egg sac, you won't have hurt it at all, promise. How are you feeling?!

Did you ask them what to do if you got a BFP before the appointment? Mine says to call them straight away and get seen asap. They'll probably want to do HCG bloods so they can tell how it's all progressing in there. Call them today, let them know what's happened and see what they advise. Don't let them leave you hanging.

Holding BOTH your hands and sending calm and reassurance.

Still not heard anything, haven't had much time to think about it today but pissed off I don't know whether to leave work early for pointless stupid blood test or just get there for the appointment.

@labmum congratulations to you. If you don't have a number for rmc I would try your epu and explain that your appt at rmc isn't until July and that you really would like to see someone. For aspirin? Maybe? I don't know I don't want to encourage you to self medicate but def worth getting in to speak to someone.
@AnneLovesGilbert I hope today goes well.
I'm mildly losing my mind. But ok. Part of me is dreading next Tuesday, but hopeful that it brings us closer to making minds up about what's happening.

@AnneLovesGilbert wonderful advice as always.
I would leave work with the hour to spare. Fuck it, if you don't need to blood test go and spend a nice hour having a walk with DH or something.

@AnneLovesGilbert that's so annoying, I'd go early as Miami says and if not needed just go for a nice cuppa and cake.

@Miami81 I think I might take baby aspirin off my own back. Don't feel like there's much to lose in doing so at this stage.

Thanks for the support ladies, I'll give the RMC a ring and ask. I didn't get told what to do if I got a BFP while waiting. I'm going to ring the GP and make an appointment there too and see about getting the high dose folic acid.

@AnneLovesGilbert I’d go early too. Hopefully someone gets back to you in the meantime.

@Labmum congratulations! Fingers crossed this is your lucky turn! Agree with calling RMC clinic/EPU and explaining. Plan sooner than later is preferable.

Feeling better today. Yesterday was due date of miscarriage #2 and was generally quite melancholy along with sore and bored. Today I’ve managed a short walk to local coffee shop. Quite sore now but pleased with myself.

My GP was happy to give me folic acid 5mg (I just took loads of the 400mcg ones until then!) and advised aspirin, which I had to stop due to subchorionic haematoma. She’s had several miscarriages herself and understands my anxiety perfectly.

I left a slightly snippy voicemail saying I really did need a call back as I had no idea what was going on and she called shortly after. Blood test showed no HCG. She said it was baffling and while you can get the occasional false positive, 3, on 2 different brands, was undeniably weird. She said to have the second test, though I know there's no point, and then ask the doc what's up. Expecting him to say not to use the cyclones tonight and then af will appear.

Let us know what they say @Labmum I don't blame you for panicking but you need to get in the system and have some support, that's what they're there for.

I'm going to ask about high dose folic too. Can't hurt! No side effects, helps feel like you're doing everything. We have a family friend gynae in Australia and she said it's standard there for anyone ttc. Makes you wonder why we bother with the normal dose here.

Well done @Paranormalbouquet lovely day for a gentle stroll. Sorry your due date was tough Suddenly occurred to me yesterday my previous MMC would have turned one around the end of May. Grateful I didn't even think about it on the day. Makes you wonder what it's all about sometimes. I really feel in my heart that I am meant to be a mum, that DH and I ARE meant to be parents together. I adore my step kids so much but I want my own as well. And they're (apparently) desperate for a little brother or sister so I hope eventually they'll get one.

Go easy love, gentle exercise when you feel like it and lots of rest in between. I know you don't love sitting around but the quality of TV has never been better so you could always find a decent series and hammer it when you need an excuse to be still!

So sorry things feel shit @Miami81 the more you've shared about the fucking flip flopping and indecision and general wankery of some of the so called medical professionals who are meant to be using their experience and expertise to help you has given me serious rage. Oh to bang their bloody heads together and get a plan in place. Honestly don't know you stay calm and lovely as you always do. Sending strength, keep talking.

So much love to all today. And thank you for the hand holding. Once again, it wasn't meant to be, but I'm not sure my head was in the right place anyway, "oh fuck" isn't how I wasn't to feel when I get a BFP, but then I'm also accepting that I may always feel that way. Hopefully once the meds are out of my system af will show and we will just crack on, as we have to! Also probably a good thing that the appointment can be all about test results (though nothing much to discuss from what RMC lady said), possible explanations for my inability to get a fetus past 9 weeks and possible ways to get a better outcome when I'm knocked up again. If we'd been fast tracked into getting a plan of action in now for an already here pregnancy I'd have been freaking out constantly rather than listening to what he has to say.

Best do some work as I have to leave in an hour....

I don’t think it’s that baffling Anne- your hcg was probably in the 10-20 range to have early positives and dropped really quickly then. I hope your appointment brings a plan now. I’m glad you didn’t remember birthday date, saved you dwelling on it. I hope you are looking after yourself now.

Miami I’m hopeful that you’ll have a plan next week. Being in limbo is the worst feeling. And I know the feeling of time ticking away is terrifying.

Hi ladies. Sounds like it's been an eventful few days for us all! Sorry to hear it sounds like a chemical Anne and congratulations Labmum! I had my first appointment with consultant at rmc this morning. Complete waste of time! He had no empathy whatsoever, said until I have repeat bloods on 23rd July and results 6 weeks after that we won't know if my antibodies are positive or not. If i do become pregnant in meantime "he'll groan" wtf?! And put me on low dose aspirin and dalteparin injections just in case. I asked about taking aspirin anyway and he said I can if I want. I've messed up my shifts this week (I'm a nurse so needed to swap to be off for appointment) and my husband took time off today for nothing. I'm so annoyed! Had peak opk yesterday so not sure if I should just start taking the aspirin or not. What do you guys think?

@Hopefulforourrainbow what an utter shit. I really do think that the lack of consistent empathy and care within the different rmc's is really annoying. I have been wondering about talking to the miscarriage association about it. Does he not think that we would all prefer to be in situations that didn't cause our health professionals to GROAN. What a dick.
I have only ever taken the aspirin from bfp
But I know others on here have been taking it from ovulation.
I'm livid on your behalf.

@Hopefulforourrainbow my RMC were pointless enough too. When I called to say I was pregnant again before the appointment they said “that’s a pity” and made an appointment for 9 weeks. At which point there wasn’t much to add. Did the consultant suggest taking from ovulation or from BFP?

I'm so angry! He also said if 2nd lot of bloods are negative he's putting the miscarriages down to bad luck! What would you guys do? Wait til 2nd lot of bloods are back which is beginning of September or keep trying and go down the aspirin and dalteparin route "just in case"

Hello ladies. Joining this thread. Currently two appointments in to RMC after 3 MC. Having blood tests redone as my last ones clotted so they couldn't be used. They forgot to call me to have them redone, so another 9 week wait for next appointment. I'm not actually sure which blood tests I've had apart from thrombophillia.

@AnneLovesGilbert hope your appointment went ok yesterday and you have a clear plan of action.

Thanks for all the advice ladies, I saw GP this morning and am sorted with folic acid and he's supports my baby aspirin decision. He's going to ask in his referral for addition early checks and for booking appointment to be delayed until after 12 weeks so we'll see what happens. I told him I didn't want to know a due date.

I rang the RMC and they're getting someone to ring me back to arrange to see me.

Now better get my ass out of the car and into work!

Sorry just realised I hadn't answered question. He didn't really say though did say some women buy aspirin on their way home which is what i did! From what I've read with clotting problems taking aspirin before bfp can cause problems with implantation. I really don't know what to do for the best.
Hardws02 sorry you've found your way here.
Glad you have a plan labmum.