TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

@sweetgingercat if you don't mind me asking did they find any cause/treatment for you or was it just perseverance?

Aww everyone, soo sorry for all your tough news, MC's are so tough. I hope you all get the news you need, I'm rubbish at remembering everything but I have read through all the posts and my heart goes out to you all!!! Sometimes my posts don't show much in the way of compassion for you guys so for that I apologise!

As far as this cycle goes I haven't a clue what's going on! We were going to try SMEP but it's kind of hard from this chart what's going on. We will go again tonight but really not thinking we've caught anything. 3 months post MC now and had a lovely steady month last month.

Surgery went well. In some pain now but improving the more I move. Will update you all properly when I am more awake!

Oh that's great news @Paranormalbouquet

Great news @Paranormalbouquet. Wishing you a swift recovery.

Turns out I must have ovulated. Poas this morning as we’re away tonight for our anniversary and I could use a drink. Very faint bfp but a bfp all the same. What the actual fuck.

Congratulations @AnneLovesGilbert. How are you feeling about it? What was your plan for the next BFP?

Absolutely terrified tbh love. I know we've been dtd but this cycle has been about immense work stress, not enough sleep, forgetting meals, forgetting to take my vitamins, worrying about RMC on Weds, planning for wedding abroad in 2 weeks, not thinking about ttc much and then worrying I hadn't ovulated and never would again. I had a very hot bath the other night as I had mild cramping and thought af was showing early. I had paracetamol for a headache yesterday morning. I'm completely floored. DH is in complete shock bless him.

We're away tonight and off tomorrow so I'll call them in the morning and get first bloods done tomorrow afternoon then get the second Weds when we're at the hospital anyway to discuss test results from the last one and plan of action.

I don't know what to do so I'll start the fragmin again this evening and progesterone tonight. He'd mentioned doing a double dose of fragmin with the next one but it was in passing as we'd just found out about the mmc and were planning the surgery, and I don't think I want to double it without asking. I'll see what they say tomorrow. My chart was highly unconvincing but looks like I'm 12dpo today. I've attached it, it's been all over the shop and my temps have been very low this month but had a big rise yesterday and again today.

The line is very faint but I did an ic, thought I saw something but then I know where to expect it these days. So did another, was still there, then found a frer in a drawer and there was a line on that too. DH can see it otherwise I'd think I was going mad. But then you got pregnant using condoms!

My initial reaction was "Oh fuck" and DH was wrangling DSC breakfast so I just paced up and down the landing for a bit. I honestly don't know how to handle it all again. Utterly stupid when we were ttc, though very casually, but it's shades of after my previous mmc. Took a month off after as I'd had the MMR, got pregnant again straight after and then lost it at 5 weeks.

With nothing found in any tests, either babies or me, and having done all the treatment they recommended last time with the same shit result, I have no reason at all to think this will turn out any different. I'd give anything to pretend it's not happening for the next 8 weeks but not possible when I have to jab, suppository, have blood tests and book appointments.

And why did I never think to ask what to do if I got a bfp at the weekend? Never happened since being under the RMC so hadn't occurred to me.

Can I have a gentle hand hold?

Maybe the unusually hot weather threw the chart off?

I know how hard it is having a BFP after losses, we’ve all been there now. I still don’t quite believe I got to 11 weeks after 3 losses in a row but it can happen. We did have a BFP using condoms so definitely don’t be surprised if you got one without it!

It’s sunday, you probably aren’t even 14dpo- I think take treatment advised before and call the clinic in the morning? No reason to think this time won’t be different although I can understand not wanting to get your hopes up yet. I’ll keep everything crossed for you.

Thank you para.

Been catching up on the thread, I'm so pleased surgery went okay, how are you feeling today? Sounds like a major procedure, how did they anaesthetise you? You're so brave, hope your recovery is quick. And thank you for checking in here, lovely to see success stories and have fingers and toes crossed for you.

It is very early days here, 12dpo-ish so not even 4 weeks. Apart from the surgery, have you done anything else differently this time?

Other than high dose folic acid, no. The RMC didn’t see me until 9 weeks and said probably no point to progesterone at that point, but if I miscarry again to take it next time. And I started aspirin but had to stop because of haematoma. Seems to just be serendipity.

Was terrified of surgery when pregnant but obviously had to be done to prevent a late miscarriage/prem baby. Everyone I’ve had opinions from agreed I am very high risk with such a damaged cervix, and this stitch offers the best chance of a full term delivery. Had underestimated it a bit though, recovery will probably be slow. I am impatient though!

Other thing is that the scar needs to be reopened in 6 months all going well. So have fancy battery operated dressing to promote healing.

Was a general anaesthetic. Asked about spinal but apparently both safe and big procedure so went with their advice.

Oh @AnneLovesGilbert we are here to hold your hand sweetie. Tentative congratulations to you. It's a head melt, but look, you have your appt with rmc on Wednesday and if I were you I would be pushing for all of it. Fragmin (whether double dose or not), double dose of aspirin? (Mine are doing that next time some of the Tommy's research says it is better), progesterone (grim but what the hey, and prednisone (or whatever that steroid is called) because really at this stage they should be throwing everything plus the kitchen sink into this for you.
If you feel at all sketchy about the support you are receiving from them, ask for second opinions or get referred elsewhere.
Sometimes the crazy distractions of life that happen around you are just that - distractions, not necessarily a bad thing for the next few weeks. Take it as easy as you can.

Oh wow Anne! Congratulations! I really hope everything will be ok this time. And of course, we're all here to hold each other's hands.
I'm glad to hear the surgery went well paranormal.

Oh @AnneLovesGilbert im so happy to see this & i can imagine also the terrified feeling side of things you myst be feeling!! A bfp is always a bittersweet moment! I really really hope this is your time.

Great to see op has gone well @Paranormalbouquet - again hopefully plain sailing from hereon in!

Im now 16 weeks & hope all is still ok in there - patiently waiting to feel movement. i do be lurking in the background from time to time but try to stay of the boards as much as i can as i feel they make my anxiety rise & give me more to think about that i hadnt considered previously!!

So glad all going well for you @keeinghopeful

Thank you for the hand holds lovely ones.

Left message with rmc this morning to sort out bloods today and weds, did progesterone last night and jabbed yesterday evening. Interesting about aspirin @miami81, thank you. I’ll mention it. Going to ask about high dose folic too and prednisolone (?spelling). Af due tomorrow so still incredibly early days.

We’re off today and I booked mini facials and shoulder massages for us today, paid for already. Seems daft to cancel now but torn between thinking is it irresponsible as I’ll have to lie if they ask, and why not do something nice and relaxing, relaxing seems like a good idea. What would you do?

Anne pathetic I know given my job but I’m awful at the clexane injections! I seem to have a tiny amount spray out at the end every time. Sigh.

I'd say you're trying to conceive so could they use unscented oils just in case maybe? Or tell them and ask if they can adapt the treatment (given you'll never see them again, but understand the feeling that you're jinxing yourself!)

Congratulation by the way! Had a hectic weekend so will post a better reply later when the little maniac is asleep!

Thank you. I told them I’d found out yesterday and they suggested a facial for an hour which was lovely! Such a lovely night away and nine peaceful day. POAS an ic when we got back and it was completely negative but it was my 8th or 9th wee of the day and af not sure till tomorrow. Had first hcg bloods done. We’re both sort of expecting they won’t show anything. RMC will call to let me know in the morning.

Are you on clexane para? Last night was fine. Weirdly, still got the faintest shadow of the massive 3 inch wide bruise on my tummy from before. It’s been months!

Don’t really know what’s going on in general at the moment. The timing is a bit crap because we’ll have the RMC apt weds before the second hcg test and won’t get results of that till Thursday morning so have to get new treatment plan just in case this one is on track only to find out the day after it might not be. Hmmm. Been here before with my five week mc early last year which was followed by our 13 month dry spell.

Just going to go a day at a time. Not sure whether I should assume the bfn this afternoon is bad news. Or maybe just so early only fmu shows it atm. It’s all a mystery.

@AnneLovesGilbert FRER is much more sensitive then IC in my experience. And tests this early fluctuate too- with DD I had a BFP on frer on Friday, then negative on Sunday. So geared myself up to miscarry but a week later no bleeding so retested to see a dark line. With my very early losses I’ve had similar and lost the presumably. Basically can go either way at this stage as you know. Interestingly my urine test was negative in the hospital on Friday but scan clearly showed a baby! I guess the hook effect was in action.

Pelvic surgery+pregnant=heparin injections to prevent clots. Especially when also chubby like I am at the moment!

Thank you para. Don’t know how I’d keep sane without you lot. DH is incredibly supportive and wonderful and he’s always up for chatting, listening, speculating, reassuring etc but he’s in the same boat as me and I don’t want to panic him with every one of my endless fears and complicated feelings!

I thought an ic showed at 10 but I don’t know anything anymore! Saw a thread on here earlier about a dodgy batch of one steps as well.

I’ll do a frer in the morning. Might as well just set a direct debit up to amazon at the start of the month to take all of my money

Honestly, if tomorrow results show nothing I’ll be fine about it. Got to go to RMC for tests from last mc anyway.

Sorry you’re having to jab I found that not letting the plastic bit touch the skin helped prevent bruising. And keeping the fat/skin pinched till the needle is out helped the sting. I count to 3 then stab it in as quickly as possible. Doing it slowly stings like mad. I got a bunch of small bruises that appeared all at once one night but less than a cm in diameter but with the big one i must have caught a vessel or something as it spread, did all the colours and still hasn’t gone. How long are you on them for?

Well I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you Anne.

I’m just on clexane for 2 weeks, longer if I’m not back on my feet by then. But I’m improving quickly so should be fine by then.

The one steps are sensitive but have so little dye that they are incredibly pale that low!

Ah, yes, that makes sense, thank you! Thanks so much for keeping me company and answering my ridiculous questions, especially when you're going through so much yourself right now

Glad you're improving, it's major surgery so take all the help you can get our hands on, esp with your little girl, and rest and mend properly. Hope you're off work for a while. Hope the Clexane isn't too rough or painful.

I’m not really one for sitting around, getting bored already! But equally not really able to do anything as I’m exhausted, sore and stiff.