TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

@Miami81 I completely agree. The lack of empathy is shocking, women at are their most vulnerable, nobody chooses to be going to those clinics so anyone working there should be sympathetic to that! Fingers crossed for next week.

@Hopefulforourrainbow I'm so sorry your appointment wasn't helpful, what an arse! I'm not a patient person (obviously) so I'd probably go with the just in case route.

@Hardws02 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. Would a call to PALS help speed the repeat bloods up a bit, a 9 week wait is ridiculous!

I'm all sorted with the RMC, got a plan although it's tricky without the tests in place but will be closely monitored.

The lack of empathy is strange I think. I'm a healthcare professional and spend a lot of time dealing with patients in difficult situations and always try to empathic. Although I think working with recurrent miscarriages must be difficult, people must distance themselves and perhaps that's the result.

@Labmum I'm glad you have a plan. Fingers crossed for you?

@Hopefulforourrainbow I think my decision would rest on my age and how quickly I've conceived in the past.

@Miami81 how are you feeling about appointment next week?

Thanks paranormal. I'm a healthcare professional too and also work in difficult situations. He came across as though he didn't care! I'm 33 and keep thinking the clock is ticking. I know there's others older than me who are in the same boat too. I had been feeling better about it but had stupidly been holding out for this appointment which has now made me feel so deflated. Doesn't help that there's recently been 3 baby bombs at work, my 3 best friends are pregnant and my cousin has just had a baby. I'm so glad I've got all of you to turn to ❤

You are younger than me if it helps! I know all about the baby bombs. I have 2 people close to me due babies on the due date of my MMC. As I found that miscarriage especially tough I know I'll find it hard.

I know me saying it won't stop you worrying about it but you have plenty of time @Hopefulforourrainbow. I'm the same age as you, with my DS we attended NCT and I was by far the youngest there at 30, everyone else was 35+. It's tough when you feel the clock ticking and there's no quietening it.

Baby bombs are horrible. A friend's child was born around the due date of my first MMC and I find it so hard seeing him growing and feeling the shadow of my lost one following him around! Have a feeling another bomb is imminent which will mean if things go wrong this time there's be another shadow child for me ahead.

Sorry I hope I've not upset anyone with my age comment. I just feel I don't want to be wasting time when we don't necessarily need to. I had been coping so well and am now just struggling a little. Positive pants need to go back on!

Oh hopeful I’m not offended at all! I understand the need to keep going, maybe sit down with your DH and thrash out the pros and cons together?

Had my scan. All looked good. I can’t believe I’ve got to 12 weeks and had a major surgery in that time after 3 miscarriages in 9 months.

@Hopefulforourrainbow you didn't offend me and I think at just about to turn 37 I am the eldest!! Maybe?
I have discussed heparin and aspirin extensively with my ob- given that i haven't tested positive for any of the clotting things, she still wants to put me on both. They do not harm baby ( which is what I was worried about) so she is very comfortable prescribing without positive clotting results.
You have had at least one set of positive results, so I would be thinking if you fall in the time in between testing then best to be on them anyway.
They do two different jobs and in clotting cases are very important. One thins (heparin) and the other stops clumps.
@Paranormalbouquet amazing news. Well done you.

Congratulations @Paranormalbouquet! Hoping you are slowly starting to feel better after your op.
I'm sure you haven't upset anyone @Hopefulforourrainbow. All feelings are valid and everyone has their own context. I worry about age as early menopause runs in my family so I know time is not on my side.

After my elation at a good scan I decided to try a longer walk and overdid it somewhat. In bed already, back and tummy hurt. Lesson learned!

I look fairly battered I realise. Arms bruised from bloods and lines, thighs bruised from clexane, big black bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. And that’s not to mention my big wound!

Overall though it’s been a very good day!

Miami I hope you have a nice weekend and can get some rest ahead of your appointment next week. I’m sure whatever the decision it will be difficult and exhausting. Are you leaning towards one option or the other?

How are you feeling today para? Sorry you were feeling crap after your walk.

My appointment last week was good. The first hcg test showed a level of 4, so it came and went very fast, didn't do fragmin or progesterone Wednesday night and still no sign of af my temp is very very high. Not sure when it's going to arrive, now 5 days late, and I'm bridesmaiding next weekend in the palest of pale pink floaty dresses so hope it gets here soon!

He's sending me for a whole raft of more tests and said to get them done once af been and gone and I'm back in 6 weeks to discuss. Plan so far, and assuming tests are all clear, is 10mg prednisone from bfp and double dose fragmin, so 2 x 250ml (or whatever the units are) a day.

He explained how the placenta issues probably happen and how it's not like it's all good then suddenly craps out at 9 weeks (had one mmc where it stopped at 8+6 and one at 9) which was how I'd pictured it, but that the placenta fails to form properly from day 1 and then fails to develop properly. Something about roots forming, how many, and how the blood flows or not to support it. I couldn't be less medical but I think I get it now.

It was exhausting, we talked constantly for 45 minutes and he has a very strong accent! He repeated that there's just no real evidence for most of the protocols in RMCs across the country so they're going on best guesses. We talked about Mr Shehata and the use of steroids. Was interesting. He's testing my folate, he said he'll give me the high dose if I want it but said it's more about the levels building up or something so it's more important to take it regularly for months than the high dose per se?

Anyway, just waiting impatiently for af and confused about what's going on in there as CD31 today and 19dpo. Got confirmation as much as you can that the babies we keep making are fine but there's something wrong with how I'm incubating them which might he helped by the pred to tackle an immune thing.

How are you feeling about this week Miami?

How's everything going lab? Hope you're feeling okay and not too stressed.

I'm so so sorry for your crap experience hopeful It's shocking how shit some RMCs are and how the heart and humanity of some so called care can be.

Sounds like your specialist is a hell of a lot better than mine!
Hope you're all well and having a nice weekend. I'm on leave now so looking forward to a week with family and friends.

anne glad you have a plan. Are you starting steroids with BFP? Strange I know but hopefully your period starts soon. Cyclogest can hang around a few days after taking it.

I’m much better, overdid it Friday and again Saturday (I clearly never learn!) but it proved I’m not ready for going back to work yet. Took it very easy yesterday and again today.

Thank you para, me too. Feel completely lacking in hormones and wish it would happy up! Had assumed it would be here and gone before being away and now stressing about the wedding and travelling.

Yes, from bfp. He’s wary of giving them where there’s no diagnosis. He has patients with lupus and other official immune issues and happy to give them pred but he was explaining how tricky it is using a low enough dose that your adrenal gland keeps making it and there’s a point v a high enough dose to make a difference. Don’t half feel like a guinea pig in waiting... But it seems like I’m not going to have a successful pregnancy without it, which absolutely sucks to be honest, so no choice and I can only be grateful the option is there and they’re as keen as we are to get us there.

Glad you’re looking after yourself, mostly! You’re carrying precious cargo x

Hopefully it’s over by the time of the wedding. Your doctor is right, there’s no point using a very low dose as it won’t suppress the immune cells but might cause your own adrenals to go to sleep. Hopefully it will work for you. And hopefully you get to try it soon.

Thinking of you today Miami81. Let us know how you get on x

Thanks @AnneLovesGilbert
I'm nervous about this one, don't really even know why.
At work, trying to get some stuff done.
Can't stop thinking that this day last year I was all nervous about 12 week scan with dd.
DH is away with work, so I am going home to my mom and sisters tomorrow.

@Miami81 I really hope you come to a plan today.

Phew! AF finally started today. So relieved, have been feeling a bit defective. Based on the last one, should be nearly gone by the wedding and I have new magic suck your belly in pants to go under my dress so shouldn't look too lumpy either way!

Hope you're okay Miami x

I’m glad Anne, now you can relax for the wedding.

Had my post op cervical length check, it’s rapidly shortening so looks like my fancy cerclage was the right call. Already measuring only 13mm (should be 40) so the person who wanted to put in the simpler stitch had said she was wrong and she’s glad I had the bigger procedure. Got a quick look at baby too. Harmony results tomorrow.

Hope all went ok Miami81 and you have a clear plan for moving forward. Sure it was a tough day/date for you.

@AnneLovesGilbert glad AF has shown up so you can enjoy the wedding and let your hair down!

@Paranormalbouquet it's reassuring to know you made the right decision, belt and braces for the win!

Currently on holiday so not been posting, was much needed although think I'll need another holiday to recover!

Hope you're all well.
How did you get on miami?
Have a lovely time at the wedding Anne. Hope the sun shines for you!
Looks like AF has started 5 days early. At least the consultant won't "groan"!

Hi there.
Sorry for lack of response. Surgeon on Tuesday her advice is to leave septum alone. It's not a simple fix due to shape and size and she doesn't believe that the surgery would provide enough of a fix of the septum given how much she would need to leave to ensure no perforations or weakening of the muscle.
I'm kind of ok with that for now. I think i have it in me to roll the dice again and see what happens.
The fact that the specialist in London is always a back up option and takes around 6 wks from first consultation to surgery helps a little bit.
I hope you are all ok. Sorry I haven't had much chance to catch up.

So sorry for what you're going through. I know this is hard. I really understand how you feel. I feel the same way. It hurts so much. My dh & I’ve been trying to have baby for 7yrs. Unfortunately we still have no kids. We tried clomid, IUI, IVF. When we tried to do IVF my body didn’t response well to the meds. So we ended up doing IUI but no success. Then we did IVF. They gave me other strong meds. I’ve got preg but lost it last week. I was devastated… I thought that it would be ok at last. When I read you post, it came back again… The pain I had… But knowing that you are not alone in this endeavor gives me a lot of support. Be strong in your faith. We all should be. Talk to your DH about your feelings. I'm sure he will understand the situation. Same thing happened to us (me &DH). Most of men don’t show their emotions. They don’t like to see us going through this. But we have to let out emotions out. We have to vent it somehow. I’m still positive that I'm going to get pregnant again. Hopefully naturally but if we need to do ivf again or use donor eggs, I'll do it. Hang in there. Don’t give up hope. Take care.

Thanks jjjen. I'm glad you're still feeling positive though it's really hard to do so. I've been feeling pretty down about it all lately as it's a year since I was first pregnant now. I can't help but think we should have a 4 month old. 7 years is a long time. I really hope we all get our rainbow babies.

That's good you have a back up plan Miami and good you feel ready to try again.

What I thought was AF last week turned out to be spotting. On CD31 now and got a BFN this morning 😢