TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

@AnneLovesGilbert glad it went well, hope you get some rest.

Im glad it went better than last time (if that's something to be glad about). I hope you're resting up and being looked after ❤

Anne - I'm sorry to hear that you are going through all this again. Glad op went OK and hopefully your cycles get back to normal quickly. Hope you can get lots of rest and love. The shock following having good scans and meds and support from rmc must make it even harder to deal with, so look after yourself.

Miami - I hope you get follow up appointments soon and they can do something to help.

@Hopefulforourrainbow how are you getting on?

Thank you mog.

Still nothing coming up emotionally. The third day after the op last time I woke up crying and didn’t stop till I went to sleep again about 12 hours later.

I’m mostly numb, very tired, bleeding quite a lot yesterday and today but pain not too bad. I was baking birthday cakes for DSC at 10 on Friday night and spent yesterday trying to give them a lovely day even though we cancelled the party. DH seems the same, he’s doing endless household jobs and barely stopping. He must be exhausted but he’s just keeping going. He’s going to work from home tomorrow so we can have a quiet day together once the kids have gone.

Had one moment of pure rage. It’s my sisters wedding in June and there’s a chat group for the bridesmaids. One of them, who I don’t know at all, posted a picture of herself in a dress saying she’s trying to hide her baby bump. Could have screamed. I was meant to be pregnant at my sisters wedding. Not some random skinny cow who probably wasn’t even trying and just looked at her husband once

But then it passed and fair enough if she’s one of the lucky ones. Good for her and I’m back to feeling like losing another baby is just one of those things that happens to us. It didn’t feel inevitable and till it wasn’t, everything was going so well. What can you do.

I’m sure a massive cathartic sob is coming but it’s weird it’s taking so long. Or maybe it won’t.

@AnneLovesGilbert I’m not surprised you are feeling numb, especially after hopeful early scans, it’s so cruel. I had my big emotional letdown after mmc when I got my first period a few weeks later. I don’t know why that set it off but I don’t think there’s any rhyme or reason to it.

I think any feelings you have are valid. Try to look after yourself.

I totally understand about the bridesmaid, would annoy me too! I’m bridesmaid in September and the other bridesmaid is due a baby on my due date a few weeks prior. She’s lovely but all she talks about is whether her belly will be obvious, and how she already can’t wait for the day off from her newborn... I’m just so jealous as I should be worrying about coping with a newborn that day.

Hey I'm doing ok thanks. So glad I wanted to wait a bit longer instead of having methotrexate. My hcg has come down to 19 by itself. Bled for almost 4 weeks, stopped for a day and now my period has started right when it was due to start. Heavy and cramping a lot but at least it's when it's supposed to be. I'm going back to work tomorrow night and the girl I'm on shift with is newly pregnant. Guess it'll be hard to avoid baby chat 😕
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this again Anne. Life can be so cruel sometimes and it's so hard to put a brave face on and pretend everything is ok.

@Hopefulforourrainbow I’m glad you avoided methotrexate or surgery, did they say you could try again soon? If your colleague knows what’s been going on hopefully they’ll have the good sense to keep off topic. Although people have no sense- my good friend while bemoaning the fact that she didn’t conceive first month trying said I was lucky that I can conceive (because obviously I love going through part of the first trimester regularly with no baby at the end).

All of my close friends are either pregnant or have recently had a baby. One keeps saying she feels like she's rubbing my face in it every time she sees me which really pisses me off! They've said we can try whenever we're ready though we have decided to have a break for 2-3 months to try to recover emotionally and allow time for some testing. We've had 3 losses in 8 months which has been a bit too much to deal with.

@Hopefulforourrainbow I know the feeling. I’m delighted for people but also sad for me! Due date for early miscarriage one has passed, second is rapidly approaching and I know 2 people who actually have the same due date as number 3.

A break might be good. I’m on an enforced break as due surgery in early May and we have actually enjoyed having pressure off.

I've shared each due date with either a work colleague or close friend. Yeah i think the break will do us good. Hoping to book a holiday soon. I could do with a week in the sun!

A week in the sun sounds perfect! I’ve been thinking about holidays myself but will wait and see how surgery goes first.

That’s rough, sharing due dates. It’s so hard looking at the bumps thinking it should be me. Meanwhile I just get the awful first trimester over and over with no baby at the end.

I’m in so much pain

Bled more on Saturday but barely anything yesterday and nothing today. Had mild cramping in the evening then woke at 5 with really strong stabbing pains in my left ovary area and low down cramping and stabbing pains underneath. Definitely no temperature so don’t think it’s an infection. On 30mg codeine and paracetamol but still doubling over every 5 minutes. It’s awful. No answer at EPU so left a message asking for a call.

I don’t feel unwell, but so tired and quite dizzy. I think as no bleeding they’re not going to worry and google says lots of people get pain from uterus shrinking back, it’s like labour pains, so could be. But it’s been happening since 5 and I’m exhausted.

Anyone who’s had an ERPC had similar? I don’t think I’m being a wuss as the good pills haven’t made it go away. Clutching a hot water bottle and trying to get DH to stop worrying!

And a holiday sounds amazing. We’ve been saving like mad since we found out I was pregnant and part of me wants to blow the lot on a week in the sun and a couple of hours in a sauna.

Anne bad pain like that should be checked out ASAP. If you are taking regular paracetamol it might be masking a fever. I’ve had uterine infection twice now (once after emcs, once during miscarriage and both times pain was the main symptom.

Is that an infection in your uterus? Does the pain sound familiar? Not sure what to do I can keep calling the EPU.

I was very dizzy, heart racing a bit and had an aching pain low down. But different for everyone. I wouldn’t panic but definitely you need to be seen- does your EPU take walk ins? Failing that call GP and see if they can fit you in.

Finally got through and the said to come in. My lips have gone blue and I keep nearly fainting. Pain is something else.

I was sore for a few days after but nothing like you're describing. I'm glad they've told you to go in. Let us know how you get on x

Oh Anne I’m glad you are getting checked, if it’s that bad A+E might be the place to go.

Home and had diclofenac, feeling much better. Codeine sucks. Made me feel fuzzy but didn’t touch the pain.

So tired but pain much less so hoping to sleep. Internal and tummy poking all fine, cervix is normal and healthy, still no bleeding which they’re happy with, too early to know about retained tissue but they said I’d probably be bleeding loads, obs normal. They were going to keep me in but as diclo was helping said they’ll call with blood results in the morning and to let them know how pain is then go back if needed.

She said they didn’t think they’d punctured my womb, which I hadn’t even considered, so that’s good. And no infection markers at all. Also mentioned after pains and that it was a big pregnancy they removed so might just be shrinking in dramatic painful style.

So no particular worries and nice to be home. Hot water bottle is great. What a day.

That sounds so scary Anne! Do they have a hunch of what caused it at all, or do you think it's just one of those random things that came from nowhere? :/

Anne I'm glad all was ok; if you get bad pain do go back though. I hope you are ok after this though. I found hot water bottle brilliant when I had the infection and pain. By the time I had my ERPC I just had infected tissue to remove, I'd passed the biggest part of it. Do take care of yourself.

My period is late, which is unusual. I've been using condoms coming up to the surgery though so I don't think I could be pregnant. I suppose I'm just irregular because of the miscarriage in February.

@AnneLovesGilbert
I'm so sorry that you are in pain. Hopefully you have had a more restful night.

Might take a couple of months to settle back down paranormal, how late are you?

Ate last night, then slept okay. Woke at 4 in pain, took some paracetamol, woke at 7 took some ibuprofen, slept some more. More uncomfy now than very sore. EPU called and said bloods show low markers but the reg isn’t too worried. Told me no need for ABs at this point and keep an eye on pain and unwellness feelings. Got bit more energy but going to move as little as possible today and sleep when I can.

Had a small bit of bleeding and a biggish clot but EPU happy. So we’ll see. DH here all day so got company.