TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Ha ha great idea! You sound very similar in temperament to me. I was reading the book when PG to try to deal with how anxious I am - I over think everything and also plan far too much so am always completely snowed under. Think why was so looking forward to change in priorities - less work more homelife?
Now have a metalic taste in my mouth. Is only the hangover but reminds me of day realised was PG and not just having polycystic ovaries or something
Not much on today so am going to make sure I start off on the right foot i.e. not stressed or anxious!
Have a good day ladies

you are sooo similar to me popsy- I overthink and dwell on everything and drive me and DH mad in the process. This book sounds like a saviour! I still have twinges of embarrassment or guilt over things that happenned years ago, re-living conversations/ actions over and over in my mind so short of bashing myself on the head I need some 'tools' to sort me out!
I agree about the work/life balance too. 'when I was pg' I had the perfect excuse for slacking off at work but now I'm not I feel I have no excuse. Still, I am determined to relax a bit more. Although perhaps if I didn't spend so much time on t'internet I might leave earlier!!
I also indulged in Rose yesterday- it was perfect weather for it!

Afternoon all, how is everyone? Kids are back at school/nursery tomorrow and although they have been fighting a lot this holiday I will miss them . On the plus side it will give me some time to catch up around the house, last term I was working at DS2's playschool every morning and really fell behind with everything else! This term he is going to the nursery attached to DS1's school in preparation for him starting there full-time in January (sob!). I have been offered a new job working from home (which I will take I think) as a sort of call centre (incoming calls)/admin person, hours are 9.30-3.00 and will be able to take stuff with me when go anywhere so it should be an ideal kind of job for me. I could do with some advice though, I currently do 2 evenings a week at a supermarket which TBH I really don't enjoy. New job is more money so will be able to give up supermarket but supermarket have just changed their maternity policy and if I stay and get pg, I will get 9 months paid maternity leave, plus get to keep my discount. As I said, I don't enjoy the job but the money would be very nice around new baby time and not sure what kind of maternity would get with new job but suspect none. Sorry for the waffle but any advice wd be very welcome please!

oh and good luck with your scan Wheely, hope you get some answers today.
and welcome to missnatalie, you have had a rough time but hopefully next time will be better for you and you're in good company here!

Hi, becklespeckle - I have been thinking about the same thing. If DH changes jobs then I might want to move to Nottingham and get a job there but am loathe to move and lose my ML. Problem is you could wait ages to get PG and be unhappy at work for a long time? I have a feeling that a well paid nice job will be so good for your moral (which in turn will be good for your physical health) that the small amount of ML you would get from supermarket would not be worth it?. Is a tough one though!
Torres I too obsess over things that happened ages ago particularly if I think I have pissed someone off. Wish I could be more like my DH and just shrug it off but am genetically programmed to fret. I am going to keep a daily diary from now on so i can get the words out of my head (will let you know how i get on
Work going okay - had our weekly lab meeting and felt an urge to shout I HAVE HAD AN MC NOT BEEN ON HOLIDAY!!!!! Luckily i resisted

oh gawd have just wasted most of the day sitting around worrying about my scan, having another grump at dh ('I'm more than happy to come back for it if you want me to', 'well I do want you to but I won't win either way will I ?? grump grump'). Have got myself worked up that they will find some incurable disease or something.

Oh well have to get ready in a mo, take dd to a friends and spend half an hour trying to park at the hospital.

Sigh. Will let you know how it goes although I am pretty sure they won't tell me anything today and I'll have to get results from gp (except presumably if its an incurable disease - then they might give me a clue).

Beckle - not sure what to advise about your evening job. I'd be inclined to say ditch it - would it be statutory maternity pay ?

Hi wheely I have forgotten what your scan is for? God am crossing everything for you anyway honey (grumpy Dhs are rubbish- as nice as they are they'll never really know what we go thru will they?)!
xxxxxxx

Hi Popsy - its to check whether I have PCOS as my hormones seem to have been all over the place since m/c last July.

Thanks for your thoughts (I think its me being a grump not DH but am sure its his fault ).

Check back later.

Good luck Wheely - am sure it won't be some incurable disease! Understand your worry though. Whatever they find (or don't) will be a step forward for you. Re: job thing - think they pay you 90% of your wages or Statutory pay, whichever is less, cos I only do 2 evenings it will be 90% pay for me I think. (so about £20 a month less)

Good luck with scan wheely

am annoyed, sitting here at work as had kids who were suppsed to some for an exam preparation class after school and they haven't pitched up.... grrr...arranged childminder to do extra 2 hours for DS as DH away at conference and couldn't pick him up. These kids have no idea how difficult it is for me to arrange revision sessions!!

Also everyone kept asking me "How was trip"? and I have to smile and say "Fine, the students really enjoyed it" when what i want to do, like you popsy is yell " Crap, actually. Had m/c!!!!"

Also totally distracted by symptom spotting...are they real / am I imagining them...or am i actually ovulating and my hormones are all over the place and causing symptoms...

One thing for sure...am mad as a brush...ho ho!

I'm back !!

All went fine despite the indignity of an internal scan ! I do not have PCOS, which to be honest, I didn't really think I did as I didn't really show many of the symptoms but she did say my ovaries are v. bulky which could be a result of being at the end of AF but could be a result of a hormone inbalance which means the follicles are bursting rather than producing eggs. She couldn't really say but said that the blood tests would show this up if so, so a bit more waiting and seeing. Blood test on 1 May next.

Tricky one re your job Beckle. Obviously, if you stick with it for that reason you won't get pg, if you ditch it you will. Law of sod.

Basilbrush - how irritating about your students - the youth of today eh ?! What do you teach ??

Ladies sorry for my extended absence. Been so busy with grandparents. I had a very quick skim and my scalp is tingling I am so excited for you both HotChoc and FurryMummy, in fact, I don't think I could be much more excited if the BFP was mine I am just so pleased.

Being really selfish, that makes me feel really postive that it'll happen for me too. I see GP tomorrow morning but think after waiting 3 weeks for my test results (to see if I have blood clotting disorder) I can safely presume they are lost and I'll need to get them done again

How are you all? hope to post much more very, very soon. DH back from the stag in an hour, off to get him from the airport

yeah, pesky whippersnappers...

Teach MFL. For my sins.

Evening! (or should that be morning?) Glad to hear you don't have PCOS Wheely! One less thing to worry about I guess, hopefully blood tests will go well too. At least if they show up a hormone imbalance then it can be treated. Re: Job thing - IKWYM, it will be sods law that I will fall just after giving it up! Think I will prob give myself a chance to settle into the new job before giving up the old but I reckon I will give it up. Got in about an hour ago, made sarnies for DH and DS1, polished shoes, sorted stuff out for morning and just sat down to eat - why do that twice a week if I don't have to?
MrsMcJnr - have missed you hun! Did you have a nice weekend? Hope MrMcJnr enjoyed the stag do too! IKWYM about the BFPs, always makes me feel hopefull when there are lots about! Good luck with GP tomorrow, hopefully they'll have your results this time!
Hi to everyone else!

Had AF type cramps for most of this evening at work, still lingering a little but nearly gone now. Don't usually get them before AF starts, usually only few hours after but AF not here yet. Only CD29 and 10 dpo (if it happened when I think) so a bit early for AF. Mind you, at least if she is well and truly on her way I can get slaughtered for my birthday next weekend with a clear consience!

Morning all, I am SUPER positive as have just been for a swim! Scoffed other half of hotel chco extra thick easter egg night but was dark choc so was up sleepless all night (so were you becklespeckle - should have got on line to you - instead woke Dh up everytime I rolled over in a huff .
becklespeckle I had bad period like pains in the cycle before my PG - they lasted a couple of days and then AF came (v. heavy)after a bit of spotting. I deduced I maybe MC but wasn't really trying too hard then so didn't really consider it at time. I have period pains all the time now - started about a week ago with little flutters but keep coming back - think poor womb is not happy. Body seems to be my worst enemy - just as I was starting to see the wood for the trees (mentally) it is pretending to be PG. Hate it as can't stop secretly hoping am Pg but chances so slim as have been using condoms (at the end) or the old fashionned method (feel like a teenager ha ha). Should have used condoms properly at least then wouldn't be secretly hoping we got PG anyway . Oh all the waiting is crap! I am just so impatient!
wheely glad your tests were not PCO - i suppose you would have had a bit of a clue if you were ultra hairy and couldn't keep the weight off (oh hang on a tick - that is me these days - surely that is just called getting older? ). Also hope your poor ovaries are not exploding as it doesn't sound very nice - nor conducive of an easy PG?
Have a nice day ladies - i am waiting for traffic to ease...new priority is my sanity - lets see if i can keep it up!

LOL popsy at exploding ovaries - that makes me feel so much better . Obviously having been relieved yesterday afternoon I then spent the evening sitting around worrying about what 'bulky' meant. If I'm sensible I think that she was just talking about blood tests showing up any problems as they'd be hormonal and she knew I wasn't going back to docs until they had results of day 21 tests so if it had been anything sinister she would have urged me back sooner I assume !

Beckle - good idea about seeing how new job goes before giving in old one but it sounds like a good idea to give it up !

Basil whats MFL ? Foriegn languages ??

Good luck at docs MrsMc.

Hello everyone else !

wheely think she was refering to lovely (bulky = big) blooming ovaries ready to pop eggs out at just the right time for fertilisation...

p.s. beckle might you be PG? I had period-like pains right from the off when I was?

Hi ladies Drs didn?t go so well still no blood clotting test results, she?s going to chase them. In the meantime, she asked how I was feeling, when I explained how tired I am and how much of an effort it is just to get into work and home again never mind the bit in the middle, she said she thought I looked a bit peaky and that she thought she should test for my iron levels, blood count and thyroid function. When she tried to take blood, my vein shut down and wouldn?t give any and Dr said this was my body?s way of saying it was tired and struggling. She told me she thought I was being too brave, that I hadn?t taken enough time off when I had the MC and that she advised taking a break from work now until I feel better. I told her about MN and the support I get from all of you and how much that has helped and she said that had probably helped me mentally but I?ve not been taking the time I need physically. Thing is, I feel so bad about work. I haven?t been there that long and I know that they really need me at the mo. I know health comes first but I do feel bad. I have put in a call to my senior boss (who is also a good friend and got me the job so that makes me feel even worse) to explain that I?ll write the article I need to write today and that I?ll be here for the team but that I?d like to take the next couple of days to rest up and feel a bit better. What do you think? Do you feel as lethargic as this? Am I just being a skiver? I m normally really active, enthusiastic and able and I feel like I am none of these ate the mo. Thanks for listening

I?ll catch up on last night and then post this and read the bits I missed

Hi BeckleSpeckle ? will have to read back to see what?s going on with your jobs. I did have a nice weekend, really quiet spending quality time in the sun with my grandparents I am so lucky to have time with them at 33 and I know it! DH got back last night, very tired and emotional. I was the only WAG (he, he) there to meet the return of the men, I think he liked that. Most of the guys bought their wives perfume, he bought me gin! The pains do sound interesting, apparently it?s the levels of progesterone that cause them so you could get them if you were pg or if AF was imminent, just another of those lovely games Mother Nature plays with us. Fingers crossed! A quick test before going out for your birthday might be in order if she stays away! Hope you have a great birthday (just in case I forget to say it nearer the time!).

Hello Popsy glad you are feeling so good can you bottle some of that positivity and send it over? Lucky you with a hotel choc egg I was desperate for one and hinted like mad but got a Yorkie one instead I guess I never thought of the caffeine in chocolate keeping you up. Sorry to hear you have pains all the time .

Hey Wheely glad you got the all clear for PCOS, one box to tick off Will read back and see what else was said.

Hi MrsMc, Sounds like you need an emotional break. Because of last year with my dad and having to be signed off 3 months later for 3 weeks (took me that long to crack) i recognised the same feelings this time and took 3 weeks off sick and a week holiday. I feel so much better for it and defo have not got to the cracking point that I did last year. Also sounds like you have been looking after everyone but you. Lovely to have the family/friends over but is actually very emotionally draining (even not talking about it is draining). You will find that work get along without you fine (i found this hard to come to terms with but am very happy about it now ). My boss was actually just really cross that I had taken so long to admit how was feeling and also that had continued to take more on even though was feeling the strain). The lovely thing is you have been told to take time off - is same as being told to take antibiocs - you'd be really silly not to do it!
Get your feet up, get online and order yourself a Hotel Choc slab (rocky road) (only £12) and RELAX!!! (If you were my RL friend one would be winging its way to you already )

Mrsmac,. please listen to the DR and take some time off. I know it's hard, but your health and TTC has to take priority. I get annoyed when people tell me to just 'relax' if I want to get pregnant. We all know how hard that is to do when you desperately want a baby, but it's obvioulsy a good idea to do what you can to give your body a break. How long did you all take off work when you had your m/c? I actually tried to work the day it happened (at home) but then collpased in tears soon after beginning.

It's been almost a week for me now and I am feeling better. I suspect that because I had my m/c so early, my body has decided to treat it like a late period. Does that make sense? I planted a rose for my lost baby in our garden on Sunday. It was a sad moment, but I felt better for making the gesture. Dh has been great, but I think it is worse for the mother.
SOrry to dwell on myself. Hope you are all well.

MrsMc - you must do as your doc says and take some time off to rest especially if its making you feel like that. It'd be better you take some time off and go back energised (?!) than struggle on. Had a nose on your profile and see you are a solicitor so quite a stressful job (I should know I am a law widow !) - what sort of law do you do ? Not that that is relevant I am just being nosey.

pat - the rose idea sounds lovely. I was a SAHM when I m/c so I took the week off from socialising and fortunately it was teh summer hols so I didn't have all our usual toddler classes to go to so I could just take it easy for a few weeks and do stuff as I saw fit. I can't imagine what it would bw like having to deal with work too.

Morning all! Cramps gone this morning and no AF yet. DS2 had first day at new Nursery and he loved it! Apparently he said to the Nursery Nurse "I like this school, I don't ever want to go back to my old one!" Lovely little man! Feeling quite good as walked to town this morning after dropping of DSs (just over a mile) and then back again instead of using the car!
Popsy - Glad you are feeling more positive! It is horrid when you can't sleep though, I have been struggling for a week or so now, keep waking up very thirsty and last few nights had pins and needles in my arms and hands all night too, quite uncomfortable! I don't often get cramps and when I do they are very mild (lucky me). Did get quite a lot after m/c though and for a while afterwards I could feel that my body hadn't really settled down, just the odd twinge here and there. It is a lot for your body to go through, lots of changes happen straight away when pg. I don't remember getting cramps when pg before, wd love to imagine I am but doubt it very much, AF symptoms appeared just days after I think I ov'd. I wish I had been up due to chocolate consumption! That would seem much more worthwhile than work!!!
Wheelybug - I'm sure if there was anything to worry about you would have another appointment much sooner, please try not to worry!
MrsMcJnr - sorry your docs appt didn't go too well . I agree that some time off wouldn't hurt you, I took 2 weeks off work after my first m/c and I think I needed that. Feel I have spent a long time in a trance this time because I didn't stop and concentrate on what I needed. You need your body and mind to be in tip-top shape so take the advice and take it easy! If your boss is a good friend he/she will understand. Glad you had a nice time with your Grandparents! You are very lucky to have them! I miss my Gran and Mum very much but was so lucky to have good friendships with them both - some friends with their family still here don't get on with them at all. Isn't Mother Nature wonderful! Did not realise cramps were due to progesterone! (I have learnt so much about my body on MN!). Must try not to get hopes up though, all other AF symptoms are well in place. Cheers for the birthday wish too! Is next Wednesday and I shall be 30! Going for lunch with a friend and our littlest DSs and then possibly out with DH to cinema in the evening. Then next Saturday am going out for a meal with lots of friends (and maybe some drinkies afterwards too...)
Patkica (keep wanting to type Paticka for some reason) - glad you are feeling better, I guess an early m/c is easier for the body to deal with but I am sure that emotionally it makes no difference if you m/c early or late. It's lovely that you planted a rose for your baby on Sunday, really lovely (made me sniffle). I think as a mother the baby is more real to you and so it is harder physically and emotionally. My DH said the hardest bit for him was watching me suffer and knowing he couldn't make it better, I think it was only a few weeks later that it hit him that he lost his child too. Don't apologise for talking about yourself either, that is what we are all here for - to talk, listen and support each other.

MrsMc I agree with patkica and popsy, I really do think you should take the doctor's advice and rest up. You will not be skiving at all, your body is repairing itself and that takes up alot of energy let alone with all the hormones and emotions floating around. Plus you have spent alot of energy on MN giving us wonderful advice and positive vibes. I appreciate you are needed at work but they would probably rather have you back in a few days/weeks when you're up to speed rather than a shadow of your former self. I went back to work last wednesday feeling very energetic but by Friday was so drained and worn out I spent the entire afternoon sobbing in my office which was very embarrassing. I spoke to my boss yesterday and he was surprisingly understanding and said I could do hours to suit/leave early/ work at home etc until I felt stronger- and this a law firm too, hopefully your boss will take the same view. wishing you lots of luck.

wheelybug glad you got through the scan. I'm sure if there had been a serious problem, they would have wanted to see you sooner. As for 'bulky'- isn't it so annoying when they use such ambiguous terms! when I had my last scan, the sonographer said 'oh you're either ovulating or you have a cyst' and left it at that!! (I assume its not the latter as other scans hadn't seen it). Hopefully you'll have a better idea once the blood tests have been done.

popsy followed your advice to get my arse moving and went swimming last night, but followed it with a glass of Rose, leaving me absolutely catatonic on the sofa for hours. DH thought something was wrong with me. Very impressed by your very early swimming this morning!

basil hope the pesky kids are better today, you must be a very patient person. I couldn't cope with the noise!

patkica I'm glad you are feeling a bit better, and what a good idea to plant a rose.

beckle are you still having pains?

sorry if I've forgotten anyone, the swimming has fogged my brain!

beckle- we must have overlapped, glad the pains have gone and no AF. DS2 sounds sooo cute!