TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Well done Furrymummy and Hotchoc!!!!!
Its understandable to be a bit scared Furrymummy but just because it went wrong last time, doesn't mean it will again. I had 2 big healthy boys after my first m/c!
I think {hugs} all round are in order this morning!!!

furrymummy, fantastic news, congratulations. i feel nervous too, not exactly sure how pregnant i am since i had no period in between. i will be off to see the doc this week, let's hope everything will go to plan this time for both of us.

basilbrush, welcome, my m/c started towards the end of february (about 7 weeks ago)just so you know.

everyone else, thanks for the help you have given me over the past weeks, i do not post very often but i am always around,finding out how you are. you have helped me feel that i am not on my own coping with sadness and confusion. so good to get kind responses when i do post.

mrsmcjnr i wish you all the luck in the world , i feel we went through a tough time and i hope to see you soon on the preg board.

thanks again
xhotchocx

Congratulations furrymummy. It's wonderful to have two lots of good news. I hope you both stay around and ket us know how everything goes. Good luck.

Don't worry I still have this thread on my watch list, will pop in time to time to offer support and encouragement, I hope!

Wow - away for a few days and two pregnancies to congratulate upon! Well done Furrymummy and Hotchoc

Wonderful!

Oh my god, what fantastic news!! Congratulations to both of you and really pleased that you won't be on this thread anymore (you know what I mean!)

Oh and hello to Torres and Basilbrush too sorry you have to be here

Morning girls - a wee dilemma...have just been skimming through an old alcohol and PG thread and a rather irat one at that and it got me thinking...or rather stressing....
Now, I only M/c three weeks ago so chances of me being PG are MINISCULE but there's always a bit of you that hopes isn't there? By BF is coming all the way up from England next Fri so that we can go out for cocktails to cheer me up (I haven't had a good night out in about a year and so was really looking forward to it!) I have no idea when AF is due obviously and I'm sure if I abstain, sod's law, it'll all be for nothing in the end. But everytime I reach for the cab sav, I think "Hark! Is that a boob twinge/ wave of nausea I feel?". Of course, this wouldn't be the first time I'd had psychosomatic PG symptoms. In December I threw up, had sore boobs and wept uncontrollably every time a John Rutter carol came on and wasn't PG....yup, am obviously insane. Advice please??

sorry - irate

i can spell - honest!

Morning all,

basilbrush, I'm a bit confused (but I put that down to it being Sunday morning), are you wondering whether to leave off the alcohol incase you are pg? Reading other posts/threads it does seem some folk fall pg quite soon after mc. I know what you mean about phantom pg symptoms (and I think popsy mentioned it earlier). I am still desparately waiting for AF to return, yet in my crazier moments (again usually in the morning), I think oh good no AF I could be pg... then remember that can't be the case.

popsy any sign of AF yet? the wait is driving me mad, I just want to know my body is ok. I like your idea of writing your story. Also I bought 'the emotional toolkit' on your recommendation... at least I think it was you, sorry if not and sorry if I sound stalkerish . I was feeling low yesterday so bought a load of self help books-including Noel edmonds one on the sole purpose I love Deal or No Deal!

hotchoc and furrymummy I am so pleased for you- fantastic news, please keep us updated- will be thinking of you

gillydaffs- thinking about your due date coming up and sending lots of hugs. If your DH is keen then book a pamper session but don't put too much pressure on yourself to do anything in particular. If the day approaches and you feel like staying in and kicking things , then just cancel the session. Re your nickname- asked DH for an autumn flower, and he said 'falling leaves' not exactly a flower and makes you sound like a chinese ninja!

and hi katyH, thanks for the welcome, lets hope we all get BFPs soon

hi torres - well i suppose that's what i'm wondering! it's just a bit of a weird time as no idea when AF is due / if i've even ovulated yet etc etc. DH says I should i should take "a precautionary approach" and not drink just in case. He just doesn't want to have a girly night out lol... i know it might seem a bit of a pathetic dilemma but I haven't been out in AGES and think it would really cheer me up... but then there's a little voice in your head saying but what if you are PG and what if you lost the last one because you drank? (before I got BFP)

It's tricky isn't it? You don't want to give yourself any more ammunition to beat yourself up with if you are pg, but on the other hand a good girl's night out would help you feel positive and take your mind off recent events. Even a fortnight before my BFP, I developed a mild aversion to alcohol- after one drink, I really couldn't face a second. Did you find this last time? If so, perhaps that could guide you. If not, back to the moral dilemma I guess- not much help.

Hi all ! Congrats furrymummy - well done !! Good luck...

Basilbrush - I know what you mean about your night out. If it makes you feel any better about it, DH and I had a weekend away when I would have jsut been pregnant with dd but didn't know - we drank soooooooooo much and it was fine. Lots of people I know have had big blow outs at the point where thy would have just been pg but don't know. However, I wouldn't necessarily advise a blow out but why not do a pg test on the day and if neg go and have a few drinks but not go mad.

My friends have all just left after a lovely weekend - 1 is about to have twins in a couple of weeks, one is due in July and 1 in Oct. The one that is due in July had to terminate a pg at about 14 weeks due to problems. We haven't really talked that much about it as she is my friend's wife. ANyway, she'd heard about us and we had a long chat and it turns out she was trying for years before getting pg (had lots of tests, ended up on clomid), got pg, had to terminate, had to go bakc on clomid and conceived this baby. I felt very humble - they have been so good and nice about all of us having babies etc. So all in all I had a lvoely weekend even though I'd been worried about feeling jealous.

DH has had to go into the office now though so I am now sulking . A bit nervous about test/scan tomorrow but at least when its done, its done for now.

Happy sunny weekend everyone.

Just wondered too = has anyone read Lesley Regan's book on miscarriage - I think someone has ? Would you recommend it, could you precis it very briefly for me ?? Am thinking it might be interesting to read.

Any others useful - what about the ones on fertility.. zita west ?

Also meant to say, mrsmcj - hope you've managed to have a good w/e despite your dh being away.

Right will stop posting to myslef now

wheelybug - will take your advice and test on Fri morning. Unless AF arrives before of course lol...and if BFN can always console self with white russian

Damn...enough test...think I've spent about £150 on hpts over past six months...sad sad sad basilbrush

Hi Everyone ,

Im new to this thread and would just like to introduce myself.

My story so far...

Came off the pill August 06.
BFP Oct 06. Lost beanie @ 6w (EP) Nov 06.
BFP Feb 07. Lost beanie @ 11w 5d. Heartbeat stopped at 9w 2d (MMC) April 07.

Im now waiting for AF to arrive and the DP and i will ttc again.

Lost 2 beanies in the space of 5 months but am determined not to let it put us of trying again.

Good luck to everyone. Im looking forward to seeing all the BFP.

Natalie x

Hi missnatalie,
so sorry to hear of your news, what a rollercoaster for you- sending you a big hug and lots of luck ttc

wheelybug- good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you. Are you going on your own? lots of positive thoughts heading your way. Funnily enough have just bought the lesley regan book and the zita west book today in an attempt to be proactive! We must have been on the same wavelength. I will cast an eye over them and let you know what I think.

MrsMc- not long now til DH is back, you must be getting excited

basilbrush- good plan, and a white russian is an excellent way to round of the week should you get a bfn. Are you back to work this week? if so, hope the kids behave.

How annoying: I just typed a long message and managed to lose it.
In brief this time: hello Natalie and so sorry about your m/c. Have the medics given you any useful advice or information or have they put it down to hideous bad luck?

Am I the only one who was drinking before knowing I was pregnant? I certainly did with ds and he was healthy and huge when born. I wouldn't worry about a few drinks here and there: your mental health is important too.

I like the Zita West book too, and I found the miscarriage association pamphlets to be really useful too: very straight forward and full of hope and useful information. If anyone is over 35, I can recommend some good books for them.
night night all: off to have a glass of wine.

Hi Patkica - no they didnt give me any reason just said it was one of those things. I wish one of those things would stop happening to me.

Welcome MissNatalie - what a terrible time you've had. Good luck ttc again.

Hello Jules - sorry you're going through it all too. Come and join us when you feel up to it, I hope it won't be long.

Torres - let us know what you think about those books and I'll have a splurge on amazon ! I am going to the scan on my own - had a bit of a soul search over the weekend and seeing DH looking a bit like the living dead I decided it would be madness for him to travel back an hour, sit around probably for ages before being seen for a 10 min appt and then travel back to work an hour. I talked to a friend who has had the scan for the same reasons and she said they don't tell you anything. I'd really like him to be there but its just not sensible. He would happily come back if I wanted him too. Unforetunately though it led to me having a bit of a rant about his work and what the point was and why were we bothering trying to have another baby etc etc. Oh dear. Not a high point in the wheelybug house .

Basil - have you thought about getting some cheapy tests off ebay or from that other place (can't remember its name .. something diagnostic). I haven't done it but am sure some others have here. They are sensitive tests too I think.

Pat - I drink too until I get a positive test. Have cut down quite a lot though this time so only drink at the w/e's. I need it to keep my sanity .

Hope everyone else had a good weekend !

well done furrymummy and hotchoc, what lovely news

Morning ladies, just enjoying a relaxing breakfst, waiting for the traffic to die down...yes I am going back to work yikes!

Had a good weekend sorting the garden out. Got a picture message from my PG friend, she was with my other friend and their DHs on a barge - kept staring at her picture (in very obsessive way ). Really ruined the afternoon for me - felt so jealous and thenhated myself (vicious circle).
Yesterday was much better. We went for a few drinks with colleague and her DH in the evening and drank more Rose than I have had in a very long time (4 large glasses). Did a pub quiz then walked home in the dark along the river (3 miles) felt like we were in Spain was so gorgeous. Woke up with a hangover today - not the best start to me first week back but as Dh says - we had a really good time, I relaxed for first time in months and we walked along way which in my book cancels the drinking calories (am still too fat for clothes .
Anyway - BB - wanted to say have a few drinks - is really good way to remind yourself that getting PG is not the only thing about you (feels like it sometimes - am sure does even more for my poor DH). My sister and friend drank all way through the first 3 months of their PGs as they didn't know they were PG and both had healthy babies. Actually got text from her DH last night - she had a little girl yesterday after 42hrs and a C section. Felt really happy with a twinge of sadness but kindofa hopeful twinge if you know what I mean.
Torres That book is really good - I used it Sat when feeling down. It explains that sadness always results because you have lost something and that there are 2 things you should do to get yourself through it: (1) get moving - natural endorphins will pick your mood up even if you are not in the mood (I am going to make sure I move my ass every day whatever it is (nothing is more important than those endorphins ha ha))
(2) Use this a period of growth/renewal/change. Learn fromt he experience and accept it. I immediately wrote a list of all of my feelings - it was amazing the things that came out of my head that i didn't recognise: I don't deserve a baby, telling stories helps me get thru difficult situations, I worried thru PG but could not prevent the worst from happening, I loved being PG, I miss the feeling of "expectancy" for the new life...etc etc. It was a massive list but having everything down on paper took the anxiety out of my head?
Anyway I am going to join a creative writing class if I can find one - something positive

Also no sign of AF yet - still have light period -like twinges think is my bits repairing themselves - makes me think of the little doozers on fraggle rock - making me a nice place for next baby

Wish me luck at work - maybe the hangover will take the edge off it

p.s. can't believe I forgot to say WELL DONE LADIES - hopefully we will all be joing you on "the other side" asap!
xxxxxxxxxxxx Furry mummy you really will have a big furry belly like I imagined last week

Good luck today wheelybug, sorry to hear things got heated- don't be too harsh on yourself, having any sort of hospital appointment looming let alone a scan is going to cause tension. Hope after you get through today , things will perk up for you. I will look at the books tonight and let you know what I think.

popsy- love the fraggle idea , I've been getting odd twinges too and I think I'll adopt that theory. Thanks for the tips on the book, I'm looking forward to trying it out. I get very emotional about everything (even before pg and mc) so I need to be able to deal with things without total meltdown. What you've said is really helpful, although I guess I have no more excuses now to get my arse moving! damn! sorry to hear about pg friend. I know exactly what you mean about obsessing, I spent saturday doing the same. It's so painful but you can't stop yourself sometimes can you? Hope you get through work ok today, maybe the hangover will make you look under the weather and you'll get tons more sympathy!