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TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

698 replies

duchesse · 12/03/2007 20:13

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

OP posts:
MrsMcJnr · 26/04/2007 18:51

Name for our new thread:

TTC After Miscarriage - fill the baby shaped gap!

peanutbutter · 26/04/2007 19:01

hello everyone

MrsMcJnr - so sorry to hear about the thrombophilia . I suppose, at least, the problem has been identified and your future pregnancies can be handled much more carefully accordingly. Will they prescribe some sort of anticoagulant i wonder? Perhaps you could try to see this as a positive thing - so many women miscarry several times and no reason or cause is ever found...seems small consolation now, I know

Gabe35 · 26/04/2007 19:13

Hi Everyone can I join? Am feeling very low today. i've had three miscarriages in the past year and am being investigated at the recurrent misc unit at my local hospital. I also have a lovely 2 year old daughter. Today I got my test results from the clinic saying I have an elevated FSh level (11.2). They won't discuss it with me on the phone (because they can't verify my identity!! Although they didn't do this at the clinic!) And my next appointment is in...wait for it...September. I've been advised to TTC but I'm terrified of having another miscarriage and am worried that my FSH levels are only going to increase between now and September. Is anyone else in the same boat. Is now the time to consider going private and trying IVF? I'm 35 by the way and otherwise fit and healthy.

Any thoughts welcome....I'm just going round in circles in my head.
Gabe

my1stbaby · 26/04/2007 19:19

hellomrsmcjnr it's amazing you are still sounding so positive. i will be in pieces myself. well done! you give me a level to aspire to

wheelybug · 26/04/2007 19:53

woweee how many posts ? will try and catch up but agree a need for a new thread. This ones getting a bit scary although its great everyone has somewhere to spill...

popsy - will dig out coldplay CD although just reading the words made me cry so not sure what the song will do ! feedmenow, what a song to hear at such a moment.

missnatalie - sorry to hear things haven't returned to normal yet. Hope you get some answers soon.

my1stbaby - welcome and good luck> I hope you are able to patch things up with your friend. It is so hard to spend time with pg friends (I know - I have said it a few times on this thread but i know 11 friends who are pg so most people I spend time with at the mo are at some stage of pregnancy !). Popsy's email sounds just the thing. Well done Popsy for being honest with your friends.

Torres - sorry you are having friend trouble too and that its caused you to have a bad day at work (or maybe delaying an appraisal is a good thing). I guess your friend thought they were doing the right thing but a bit misguided. Love Popsy's idea about adding a box of tampax to your desk - with any luck they'll give you some time off as they'll think you've finally flipped.... seriously though - (hugs)

Basilbrush - I think most of us have done 'maybe just maybe I'm pg' tests. I certainly have since m/c even when I knew I'd had a normal pregnancy. COME ON BASIL'S AF - WHERE ARE YOU ? I love your profile. I too had ideas of natural, only using aromatherapy as pain relief etc etc only to end up being induced at 37 weeks and ending up in emergency c-sec. If there's one thing I've learnt in the last 2.5 years - plans and babies don't mix.

Hello herby - love the idea of your am dram. What parts have you played ??

MrsMc - sorry to hear about your clotting results and the wait to see a consultant. I assume you can't go privately ? Did the GP tell you not to ttc until then or give you some guidance as to what you could do to help things ? Sorry bd-ing didn't work out as planned - join the club,, although I still don't have a postive OPK so its not over yet. Bless DH, he did tell me on the phone to let him know if I did get a + and he'd wake me up when he came in from his booze up.. I mean important work dinner... yeah right, how appealing .

My friend is huuuge and very fed up. At the moment I'd be quite happy to have twins although given dd had growth issues I don't think it would be a good idea !

Welcome gabe - you've had a hard time - sorry you have to wait to find out what your levels mean - would your gp be able to shed any light ?

Hello - peanutbutter and Beckle, how's it all going ?

Hello everybody else !

patkica · 26/04/2007 20:44

Can't belive how many posts there are. Want to say something to you all, but don't have time so will hold off until tomorrow. But big hugs for all the sad sweethearts out there. I am thinking of you all. But I just wanted to say a special hello to my1stbaby. I am sorry that you are here, but you are in great company. I don't know what I would have done without these women. I also wanted to say that I am nealry 39, so understand something of what you are going through. I was on a thread a little while ago for older mummies and that really helped. Ther are loads of mumsnetters in their late 30s and 40s and according to my GP we should not believe all the hype about biological clocks. Obviously, fertility declines, but you got pregnant and that is a great sign. Keep the faith: I know how hard it can be at times and I recommend that you read some of the older mummy threads. They are brilliant. My experience of AF after m/c is unclear as yet becuase I only had my m/c just over 2 weeks ago. But I'm pretty sure that my body treated it like a late period and I think I'm about to ovulate. But mine was at 5 weeks and I think that makes a difference. Speak soon.

MrsMcJnr · 26/04/2007 20:55

Hey Peanutbutter ? how are you? thank you for posting for me. You are right, it is better to know but scary too as I think blood clotting issues are more likely to strike in the 2nd trimester after the placenta has taken over so I will be scared for so much longer plus there is a risk of stillbirth too. I?ve just read these things so they are still freaking me out plus the possible need to inject myself twice a day with anticoagulants! Hate needles! As you say, now I know, these things can be managed and I am very lucky to know now and not after more MCs.

Welcome Gabe35 I?m so sorry for your losses, I just cannot imagine how you must be feeling and I cannot believe they have left you in that limbo Feeling the way I do at the moment, I think I would go down there and make them explain. I had to do that this morning in relation to other blood tests which it turns out, were actually lost and were not ?needing to be re-checked? at all. I?m afraid I don?t know anything about FSH; it?s a hormone isn?t it? I have a few books that I can read up in. I?ll come back tomorrow when I understand more. Hope we can help you though this

Thank you my1stbaby ? I think I am just all cried out today after big fight with DH
last night and a bit numb over the news. My Mother was classic when I broke it to her, she was concerned about me but then began to really panic as I got it from her side of the family probably, her sister has it and if my Mum does, she?s not supposed to take HRT and she?s really worried about that!

Wheely ? Just when one pg friend ceased to be because she had a gorgeous baby girl last week another one announced her pregnancy! Grrr GP did tell us to wait until seeing the Consultant to TTC but given all I have read so far and fact that it can be managed; we are going to carry on, is that very irresponsible? Figure we?ll just have to make sure we see someone private or otherwise if it happens.

WinkyGirl · 26/04/2007 21:14

Oh my god! I cannot believe you guys have found the "Fix You" Coldplay song too.

My DH was listening to that Coldplay CD on his ipod at work after our MC and was CONVINCED that Chris and Gwyneth had a MC between Apple and Moses. He said the lyrics were so appropriate. And also some of the lyrics to "Square One." See below

is there anybody out there who
is lost and hurt and lonely too
are they bleeding all your colours into one
and have you come undone
as if you've been run through
some catapult had fired you
you wonder if your chance will ever come
or if you're stuck in square one

wheelybug · 26/04/2007 21:31

MrsMc - Not irresponsible, understandable ! An irresponsible suggestion coming up - presumably if you did get pregnant before you see the consultant they would then have to manage it with the problem in mind so as long as you see a doctor as soon as you know you've conceived hopefully it could be managed. Just a thought.

winkygirl - interesting theory re Chris & Gwynnie. Off to drag out my copy now.

jules99 · 26/04/2007 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jules99 · 27/04/2007 01:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

basilbrush · 27/04/2007 08:38

popsy any sign of AF?? I feel like proverbial poo on cracker, the pain was so bad last night I was in tears...and still no AF. I also threw up my supper.
Just to torture myself further did test first thing this morning (thought, "hey, it's been almost a week since I last tested!" I should NEVER have the damn things in the house) and of course it was negative.
I think I need to accept I am definitely not pregant!!!
Only consolation is I can indulge in red wine and paracetamol

alittlebitshy · 27/04/2007 09:13

loving mrsmcwonderful's idea for new thread name.
dare i start it off???????????????? Feel a bit above myself closing one thread and starting a new one, but it would make posting sooo much easier.

I'll ponder it.

(((basil)))

basilbrush · 27/04/2007 09:15

littlebit i say go for it!

wheelybug · 27/04/2007 10:27

Go for it alittlebitshy - great idea.

sorry about BFN and no AF Basilbrush - haarumph.

herbaceous · 27/04/2007 10:31

Is it just me being a sentimental old fool, or is 'filling the baby-shaped gap' a bit too sad?

popsy76 · 27/04/2007 12:10

Hi ladies defo agree about new thread but also feel not able to do it - i think MrsMc should as she is the mother ship in all this tee hee
basil still no sign but coming to terms with non-PG too. Spoke to a friend last night who had something similar and she said AF did eventually come (40 day cycle and no MC poor thing). She is now 5 months PG so good sign for us! I think mine will come by end of next week - we could put bets on for who gets there first then support each other as the sshhhhhhhhhhh disappointment tears come
Actually today is first day I have started planning new exciting work projects and feel really happy about it - this is a real corner turning moment for me as it means the pause button has been unpressed. Am very busy still but in a good way so no time to dwell!
Hope you are all okay - maybe we could call our thread TTC after MC April 2007 - Return to the Mother Ship?

my1stbaby · 27/04/2007 12:17

just want to say a quick hello to everyone and my thanks to all your generous hugs and welcomes.

thanks patkica for your kind words. it's so terrifying thinking about all the risk involved with having a baby at my age. i have been watching the older mum thread for a bit now. maybe i will join in.

torres and popsy just want to let you know that i have written a short e-mail to my bestfriend to say that i'm sorry and that i love and miss her. not sure if it'll rescue the friendship. it did make me feel better.

mrsmacjnr i don't know much about thrombophilia but i have an auto-immune condition and am on medication. i know how terrifying it can be. my whole world collapsed when i found out about mine 3 years ago. had to give up my job, in a lot of pain and suffered so much. this is the reason why i have to put off ttc until the condition is stabilised. i'm doing much better now. i agree knowledge is power. find out as much as you can and know what all your options are before seeing the consultant. ask questions, lots and insist on getting answers. i learnt that the hard way. good luck and lots of hugs from me.

patkica · 27/04/2007 12:53

Hi all,
I agree that a new thread is a great idea, but how about something a bit more uplifting. We are all trying for or about to try for babies so let?s celebrate that. Having said that, I can?t think of a clever title.
1stbaby: so sorry to hear about your medical condition, but good that it?s been spotted and regulated. The chances of a healthy baby are always much stringer than not so try to focus on that. The media is full of scare stories and I reckon half of it is just sexism: they?re always blaming women for ?selfishly? leaving it too late, as though we all did so by choice or design. And if we did, so what: men do and that seems to be considered to be ok.
Torres and popsy: I think you are both just being human so don?t be too hard on yourselves. I had the experience the other way round with one of my BFs when I was pregnancy with DS. All was well in the end. Good friends will understand and if they don?t, perhaps they weren?t such good friends after all.

Basil: hands up among us anyone who hasn?t tested too often, too early etc? in the past. Oh, what a surprise, no hands in the air. We all do it: we keep the companies rich, but it?s so damn hard not to. Now that we?ve been BDing, even though I can?t be sure I have even ovulated because m/c was only 2 weeks ago, guess who?ll be stocking up on the evil little sticks.

Gabe: I?m so sorry to hear that. It?s just awful. Hate to say it, but could you go private? I would probably keep ttc, but I know you must be dying to have the results too and I can?t see any other way.

Torres: I take B6 and Evening Primrose Oil and ginger, but maybe to try to ward off sickness as I had it so badly last time.

Mrsmac: typical of you to write to us all so kindly when you are going through such a tough time. When will you get results? Isn?t it good to know so that action can start to be taken? I?m trying to think positive. Is going private possible? If so, I would go for it as this is so important to you. We have been Bding here too and like I said, the romance goes out of the window when it?s ttc time. I find I can?t be bothered otherwise and that puts a strain on life, but I know DH understands at the moment. We?ve had some really big rows over it in the past, it?s all so stressful and there are some feelings that men, no matter how kind, just can?t understand. We just resolved to really work hard at conception and then try to get back to normal. IT worked last cycle so I reckon it?s worth it.

Hugs to you all

gillydaffodil · 27/04/2007 12:55

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Message withdrawn

wheelybug · 27/04/2007 13:20

Selfish rant post alert

Does anyone (I think MrsMc ?) use the access diagnostic OPKs ? I have used them for the first month this month as they were free and yesterday and the day before I got a faint line no where near the depth of the control line. Yesterday evening I got what I was sure were OV pains and today the line has gone away (also a friend just gave me some clearblue non-digital tests and I did one of those too and that had the faintest of faintest lines). Do you find you get a proper dark line on the access diagnostic ones ??

Thankfully, DH was somewhat fuelled by his night out last night and I managed to wake up enough for a ahem bit of action but we missed the previous night and I wasn't too worried as I didn't think we were properly 'in the zone'....

GRRRRRRRRR...

Think I will go back to the digital tests. Mind you, its the first time I've had ov pain in 3 months so thats something to be pleased about (she says grasping at straws).

Right will read what I've missed today.

wheelybug · 27/04/2007 13:26

Hi Gilly - glad the counselling is still going well. Where are you off too on hols ? and whats the job if you don't mind me asking (I have an MA in the same as you I think) ?? I'm in London too, its not a bad place to live most of the time .

Agree with patkica and herbaceous - we need an uplifting title but am lacking in imagination !

Well done my1stbaby on writing the email to your friend. Let us know how it gets received. Sorry to hear about your condition (is that the right word ?).

Great news Popsy on starting new work projects - you go girl (said in corny american accent).

popsy76 · 27/04/2007 13:34

Hi ladies
I have done it
new thread is as follows
TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship
Please come and join me so I am not Billy no mates!

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