TTC after miscarriage - lucky thread number 3

[Brenna24]

Still hopeing for 3x3 BFPs for this month. Hopefully thread 3 will do that.

Brenna- tryst me when I say that your fears are normal, but you absolutely will not be like your mother. You just won't. Hope this visit isn't too bad

I agree with loki - the fact you recognise that you want to be different means you will. You sound wonderful to me! Really hope it goes ok.

I am having one of those mornings when I think I may just give up even trying to get pregnant. I'm fed up of keeping everything on hold, peeing on sticks, being disappointed, waiting, always f*cking waiting. I'm fed up. I had dreams about doing something totally different with my life which think may be my body giving me a sign to stop putting so much pressure on the idea of having a baby. I feel like crumbling into a mess of tears but instead I've got to go to work, run my team and pretend that I'm excited about life. I'm not anymore. I feel cheated. Sorry for the rant.

Brenna it already sounds like you are considering the opinions and feelings of any eventual DC you might have and just being aware of the need to do that puts you at an advantage. I know it's commonly said that you become your mother when you have children but I do not think that is always true, I think that because you are aware of how you were raised and how you would want to raise your children differently then you will be able to overcome it and do a wonderful job.
Have you checked out the Stately Homes thread? I posted on there under a name change a while back for support and they were great.

Kate It can feel too much sometimes can't it. Take it easy on yourself. Is there something you can do to treat yourself that is entirely unrelated to TTC and give yourself a bit of indulgence and a break? I can highly recommend getting rid of any apps which demand data from you, they make it so difficult to not be constantly focussed on TTC. I hope you feel better soon

Thanks guys. Hopeful I totally understand where you're at, it is tough and you do have moments where you wonder what's it all about. I hope the day improves for you, maybe taking some of the pressure and structure away from the process might be the way it happens for you? Try and stay positive

I felt like that 2 months ago Hopeful I was ready to just give up entirely. I seem to have settled down again.

Thanks IC and Loki. There are times when I have eyed up the Stately Homes thread, thankfully most of the time she is in France and we can chat about neutral stuff and I can just ignore it. Other times, like when she is coming over, I get a bit worked up.

Hi Ladies, Some of you may remember me from a few months back after I had a miscarriage in December. I had to stop coming on here as found it was stopping me from moving on and I was continually dwelling on things.

Unfortunately I'm still not pregnant again and struggling with every month that passes and the negative tests that come.

Just finished my AF so onward and upwards for the month ahead!

Good luck to everyone in the 2WW.

Hi again Lindsey I think it's probably quite a helpful approach to be here when you want to and not when that's what feels right to you - good luck for this month!

Mrs I can see how the early luteal phase could be frustrating, too early for symptoms and to test, but what I like about it is knowing I've done all I can, and that it's a time I can relax and look after myself before the "am I/ aren't I" stage starts.

I'm now 4/5 dpo, weirdly my temperature jumped up today to over 37 degrees - it's never done that this early in my luteal phase before. Hoping it might mean my body's going to do a better job of making progesterone. It could of course be random - I tend to over-analyse my data and look for patterns. I know really that accepting whatever will be, will be is a more helpful approach for me. With that thought in mind, I'm hoping I'm pregnant again while also planning our summer holiday. If I'm not pregnant I can enjoy eating and drinking whatever I like, if I am pregnant I won't mind the restrictions, and hopefully won't have killer morning sickness...

Hi all, not been on here as much in the last day or so but just been reading everyone's messages and it seems like everyone's a bit down. Sorry to say it, but it made me feel a bit better as I've had the most shit day (sorry about my language, but no other word quite fits!) and it made me feel less alone. Did a pregnancy test this morning and it was negative. I've been holding out all week, and it was such a disappointment. I just wanted to be pregnant again before the boys' due date (12th May) but it's looking unlikely now 😥 On a positive note, I went to slimming world tonight and lost 2.5lbs this week of my pregnancy weight.

Well done on the 2.5lb obsessed1 I have probably put that on tonight after a dreadful day too!

I have just read through everyone's messages too... Seems like it's a horrible tough time for everyone.

I'm so confused with my body... I have two apps, ovia says I should be on af and so should take a pregnancy test... Glow says I should be ovulating. I can safely say after testing... I am neither!!

I just want to know what's going on... Think I was naive to think I would get pregnant immediately after MC...

Hi all hope you're ok, seems like everyone is having hard times at the min myself included. Sending you all .

So I've found how to control my blood sugars quite well, bananas and brown bread! Been substituting my tiny bit of sugar on my wheetabix for a banana instead and so far my bm has stayed around 7 with no shaking or feeling faint by lunch time and I've changed my sugar in my coffee in the morning for sweetener.

Had a chat with DH and decided we are going to keep trying as it could take along time yet to conceive and we aren't getting any younger plus we don't want an even larger age gap between our youngest and our new baby if it happens. Already our youngest is 6! I've chilled out majorly with the opk's limiting myself to just testing twice in a day and not worrying about it if I don't do one. This evening I've got a positive on a cheapy one 4 days earlier than last month sign that my cycle is returning to its normal 28-30 days instead of 34. Charting my temps still just to confirm ov had happened mainly for my sanity so I know it's done and i can have a relaxedish TWW. I'm determined not to do a HPT until af is well and truly late not early.

Trying not to look on here too much either as I scroll through post about infertility and struggling to conceive and genuinely heart breaking stories about ttc and I feel guilty for feeling like I have problems when actually I'm just speculating and worrying myself sick stupidly!

Thanks for sharing ladies. I didn't do a test after mc because i couldn't face doing another one and decided ignorance is bliss! I might give it a couple more weeks and then either do a test or see my doctor. Or I might just carry on as normal and wait. I feel like it'll be rubbish if I find out that I am not ovulating yet and also rubbish if I find out I am pregnant so early again because it'll mean a longer period to worry about another early mc.

You're right Oxlady it's best not to test, I'm tempted to delete apps altogether and just let what will be... Be.

Jpeg I definitely feel that way. We've been having some of the best sex since the mc because we don't know when or even if I am ovulating at all. Just good time sex and if a baby becomes a product of it then fanbloodytastic! My only reservation is the dating thing but it's not exactly the be all and end all...I only want to do a pregnancy test when I have undeniable symptoms!

Hi ladies, been snowed under with work and moving house preparations so not been on a few days, how odd that there is a bit of a trend in glum feelings at the moment, and am right there with you. Am leaving to go to a conference for a week tomorrow, am on day 31since mc, and no sign of 'o' - been dtd every other day since day 7 as I wasn't sure when 'o' might happen (got a bit excited when I had a few days of EWCM, but NOPE), but it seems after another long bloody wait, that sod's law will make it happen while I'm away at conference. No doubt next wednesday or something, just to make extra sure I miss my first egg since mc! Not that dtd wasn't fun, but it seems a bit like a lot of effort for not even a possibility of a result .

Thanks everyone for being so nice

Hi again Llindsay I am sorry you are not yet upduffed.

Come and have a good rant Mrs it makes all the world of a difference.

Ooh, Lucky that is interesting as I had a second jump in my BBT this month, at 6dpo. Accompanied by some cramping. Since then I have had more cm than normal (school glue like rather than egg white like.

Obsessed I was due on the 7th of May and I was really hoping to be upduffed by then. I had a bit of a meltdown the other week when I realised this is our last chance to get there. You are not alone for sure.

Preparations for Mother's arrival are in full swing. DH is mopping the spare room floor (which we will be moving into for the next few days). I am scrubbing the cooker top. I am so tired.

So again today like the idiot I am I did a pregnancy test as per ovias instructions... I am convinced it was a very faint positive. It was one of those internet cheap ones. Just gone to the shop and all they have are digital tests for £10!! I bought it but they aren't as good early on I heard? Anyway I'm thinking of doing it when I get to work! Hope everyone has lovely weekends xx

Good luck jpeg!

to all those finding it difficult. I tend to follow the same pattern every month, it's like deja vu. After the disappointment of AF wears off I get really positive thinking this month I will do everything right and it will be my month. As ov starts to get closer I throw myself in to dtd and trying to keep it interesting so we're not just doing it for the sake of conceiving, get jaded and frustrated towards the end of fertile week, anxious during 2ww and then crushing disappointment as it becomes clear we've failed, only to start the whole thing again!

Llindsay I agree with Lucky, use this thread as and when you need it. I find it's been the source of sanity when talk turns to hairiness and wind but also feel comfortable sharing the harder moments of TTC so it's a great support but like you there are times when I need to step away and not let TTC dominate my life. There'll still be people here when you need it

I prescribe for everybody a weekend of doing whatever it is that makes you happy. I'm going to London for the weekend because I moved to some suburban backwater 3 years ago and regret it constantly so going back to get my fix of culture and chaos

Just reading everyone's messages... You really are a brilliant bunch of women. We deserve all the luck in the world after what we have been through.

IC I couldn't agree more!! I'm going to plan an exciting weekend of treats.

Ovia says I can take a p test today so I did and I saw a v faint line but pretty sure it's an evaporation line. After about 5 minutes of ridiculous squinting, I chucked the test in the bin & decided 'enough is enough'. I've had enough of testing. I'm gonna live my life and be grateful for having met and fallen in love with my DH who is my best friend and utter rock.

Hope you all have great days. Onwards! Xx

Go you Hopeful

Thanks Brenna! Good luck with your mother!!

Good luck for the faint positives!!

Feeling rather the same.. AF is about to come to an end so I'll be on the frantic shagathon bus soon...

Good luck ChickyChickSSS... I'm feeling like my faint positive could have been a dye run. I'm stupid to test anyway... I actually cannot think of anything else at work! Wish I had patience!

Do you have a picture?

Here it is... Looks like maybe a dye run??