Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

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Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

muppet I wish i had the inclination to clean

Argh. So we had the mother of all arguments last night and he's still grumpy and sulky this morning... And guess who also got the brightest opk positive ever this morning! Now I'm worried I've missed the egg and even if I haven't, that we will because I've got to find it in me to want to dtd tonight even though he'll be a grumpy sod... That means me apologising when I've done nothing wrong. It is like this every month! I don't get it... Maybe it's my hormones? Or is that a crap blame-the-woman theory...

oh Rugby I feel your pain. I've been in exactly that scenario - big row with DH, and thinking that you are never going to speak to him ever again and then you remember - oh shit, I need your services today. I have been known to make up the fight (when I didn't mean it) and then resuming the argument after I got what I wanted!! It's so frustrating though. My DH still doesn't get that there are a few crucial days each month when you have to try and catch that egg. I don't know how many times we've had that conversation after he has said 'can't we just do it tomorrow' - aaarrrghhh!!! Anyway, I hope that you can make up and get your sperm later .
I'm not sure why it might be happening every month for you though - are you both on the same page when it comes to wanting another baby?

Well, it's CD24 for me here. I have been known to start spotting from anytime now, so I'm now frantically examining the toilet paper every time I go! I'm already feeling a bit period-ey - dull ache in my lower abdomen, so I have absolutely no expectation that this month is going to end any differently than the last 36-ish. If my cycle behaves, then af will be due by the weekend.

Happy Monday to everyone.

Rugby if your opk was positive this morning you shouldn't have missed the egg. You need to dtd tonight and tomorrow though so I hope you can make up.

Joey I hope AF is a no show for you this month, fingers crossed.

Fatty if I had more kids I'm sure I wouldn't have the time or inclination either

Dtd fail here last night, too lazy tired. Need to do it tonight so will make sure we are earlier to bed. Still no positive opk so we should be ok I think, I'm only on cd11.

Thanks Ababs! That's reassuring. We must make up tonight... Gonna grin and be nice and try some wine. Haha. Hope you are having a good day and that you get your positive soon.

Joey - we are all rooting for you and hoping AF stays away. Thanks for understanding about OH problems. I think he def is on same page regarding babies. It's just that he can be so careless with his comments to me (about other things) and I guess maybe I'm over sensitive at this time (maybe biologically or maybe just as I know this is such an important time so feel tense... I don't know)... Either way, thank goodness for this thread. You are all a life saver at the moment.

Rugby, he's still not behaving?! Honestly!! But I do know how this feels - and others have said the same, so you are not alone.

Sometimes I just launch into some cheery chit chat (about anything really, but gossip is good!) where I've 'forgotten' bad behaviour. It takes him by surprise and he starts being cheery back. Then we do the deed, after which I 'remember' and so give him an earful. At that point, he is inclined to agree with me (maybe genuinely, maybe he's too tired from dtd or maybe he's a bit !!) and everyone is happy again.

Is that strategy too Machiavellian () or do you want to try?

But the other problem I have is DH being away at the wrong time. This month, after some good dtd in the run up, he's gone away as soon as I got my solid smiley on CB. We managed once that morning (after I saw the smiley had become static), but since then all I can think is that my poor egg is being left lonely and unattended!

Maybe we need to have them leave frozen samples in the freezer for when they are away or acting like twunts during our fertile window!! Who was it who used self-administer? I wonder did they ever try 'storage'?!!

Fingers crossed Joey!!

I got a +ve opk this morning, I'm on cd12. Looks like I'm ovulating a couple of days earlier these days, previously it was day 15. I'm not sure whether that's bad, good or indifferent. We dtd last night and will have to do the next few nights too.

I hope those arguing with dp's manage to dtd at the right time. Looks like some of us are going to be on the 2ww again very soon!

Twinkly whatever works - Machiavellian or not

Afternoon ladies
been lurking for a while but keeping up with all your news, waves to everyone..
static smiley yesterday, also day 12, ababsurdum..and i think a few others, we're all tracking same days..have to say my static smiley seems to jump about a bit..and this month I got 2 bonus flashing smiley days..quite unheard of here..but failing miserably at dtd this month..

same boat as Rugby..on the arguments over the important time..i think it has to be pressure..i think dh hates it too..last night was day12 smiley face, bloody epic fail on dtd..he didnt come to bed till way gone midnight and i was too tired, just a disaster. one more night of pressure to go, might resort to wine too..

last couple of months a bit of a rollercoaster, had my day 21 progesterone test which came back with nothing exceptional to report for my age (old @ 46 and then some) Doc got me an appointment for a pelvic U/S yesterday which all looked normal..next step is dh to do his bit and get his swimmers tested (probs another pressure point) And then it will be about heading to a private consultant ..although feeling like they will laugh in our faces and tell us to go the donor route which i'm sure we won't do..so game over unless we find a magic egg..

I just bought a 3 month supply of pregnacare and Coq10 so i think that's our timeline for final stages of dtd naturally.

a good Nct friend announced upduffed in Jan and last week was her scan, couldn't handle the posted-scans of baby waving and had to disappear into my hole of gloom for a week or so. Totally pants, feel like a rubbish friend but it really is gut wrenching at first hand, as you all know.

back off to my hole now..more waving to all.
so glad this thread is so busy, its really helping me stay sane!

fingers crossed to all about to head into 2WW territory.

Welcome Gsmummy, another cycle buddy! How old is your dc? How long have you been ttc this one? I'm sorry that you're another one struggling with pressure at ovulation time, seems it's a common issue with both sides feeling the pressure and ticking clocks. I hope you get your bfp this month.

hi everyone, hi gsmummy

well ive broken my every day duck for the first time in god knows how many decades....ive caught hubbys chest infection, which in itself is bad enough (im all huffy that hes infected my by breathing on me in his sleep...how dare he not think of sleeping on the sofa for a fortnight till hes better!!) I ache all over and feel generally sorry for myself.

but i also have the most hideous case of oral thrush, i can only put it down to possible one of the new supplements ive just added, but can i buggery get rid of it, it looks like im going to have to waste a GP appointment for something stronger than what i can get over the counter.

my tongue/mouth is SO sore, and its making the rest of me feel shite...the corners of my mouth are cracked, im drooling because of the pain....plus ive come out in zits....ahahah,....i wouldnt want sex with me either

what a catch LOLOL

anyone due for any testing at the end of a LOOOONG TWW?

Afternoon all..
sorry ababsurdum I forgot to refresh my stats when we moved to the new thread..i think i arrived near the end of the last thread ( i found the rather useful stories on successful women conceiving over 45 to give us all hope!) thanks for the positive vibes..i'd better try to get my slinky thing on tonight..(yawns..)

me 46, dd nearly 4, conceived naturally < 1yr of trying (albeit straight after a hysterosalpingogram or however you spell it) Been ttc no2 since late 2013..slight hiatus in 2014 as dh had a mini cancer scare which sort of blew most of 2014 out of the water..all fine though so we grasped the nettle again late 2014 and ttc ever since
dh is pretty old too at 55.. we probably win first prize on this thread for the oldest oldies still in the game..
dd starts school in sept and part of me thinks we should just be thankful and appreciate what we have which is amazing and fantastic..but then the pangs start and i get all wistful..
probably serves me right for avoiding getting upduffed throughout the 20s and 30s.
hope you feel better soon fatty..you sound a picture!

Hi Gsmummy - wow your situation sounds so similar to mine. I'm 45 and my ds is also about to turn 4 and then start school in September. He was also conceived naturally in less than 1 year of trying, and we've also been ttc #2 since 2013!! My only slight difference is that dh is a bit younger than me - he's 42, but that's proving of no benefit whatsoever in trying to get me upduffed!!
I know what you mean about the conflicting feelings. Some days I want another baby more than anything, then other days I think about going back to the baby days once ds has started school and think - blaaah, no thanks!! I do feel very grateful that I was able to have a beautiful healthy child at the age of 41, but I just feel like 1 more would complete our family. Also I am very stubborn and persistent so the fact that it's not happening for me is making me even more determined!! Anyway, best of luck to you with your efforts this evening!!

Evening Ladies .....

Rugby - sorry to hear dh is still misbehaving, hope you manage to dtd tonight. What is it with all our men either being awol or stroppy ?! Maybe we should have a hoax ovulation time and then seduce the next week when they are unaware !

Twinkly - i like the frezzer idea too dh ALWAYS seems to have work travel at the critical time, soo annoying.

Fatty - you poor thing you sound dreadful, that would put me out of action for a month!

Abs - my ov seemed to move from
15/16 to 12/13 after my mc a couple of years ago. I ve wondered if this is an issue as both times i conceived were late ovs (18 with ds, 17 with my mc) however I think your cycles can get shorter as you get older but as long as your maintaining a reasonable luteal phase i think its ok.

Gsmummy - sorry for the baby bomb, never ever easy. I m like you in thinking maybe i should make peace with just having the amazing gift of ds and move on, especially as life starts to get easier as they are more independant (he s 4.5 and at school) but then he asks if we can have a baby in our family and it crushes me....oh and joey i also am so stubborn too and do not want to be defeated when i ve put so much bloody effort into something !

Other than that i m about 10 dpo and REFUSING to test, just so bored of bfns that i m just gonna wait for the very likely witch to show her face (honest......!)

Hi everyone. Thanks for your support - glad I'm not alone on the stroppy OH front. Love the Machiavellian tactics, Twinkly! And i might just try the fake O time. Ha! Managed to make up enough to dtd last night and hoping we'll be good to go tonight too...

Twinkly, hope that some strong determined swimmer has got there to the egg despite DH going away. Very annoying for you. I sympathise there.

Hula, how are you holding out from testing? I almost feel like we should have a small reward for getting through another day of not testing! Good luck.

Fatty - poor you. What a rubbish time you are having. Hope you feel better soon. When is your O date? Hope you don't miss it now after all that effort of dtd every day!

Gsmummy - nice to hear your story. I know that feeling of hearing about others babies. I am dreading meeting a friend this weekend as I fear she will be telling me her news... good luck. Your story inspired me as I'm 40 and ttc #1. And grrr to your OH being grumpy and missing the egg.

Ababs- good luck to you this month. I was told once that my late O date (20 ish) was a problem - so many opinions and not sure anyone really knows?! Fingers crossed for you.

Waves to Gsmummy - we are the same age ... along with oh, I dunno, Rachel Weisz, Tess Daly, Cate Blanchett ... not too bad company!

I tend to think I over-compensate for becoming a mummy (quite a lot) over the age of 40, so on the days I have DD at home we do 2 classes a day, plus the park plus she's maybe just a little a bit spoilt but just lately this thread's made me feel like a right slacker! Not only do you ladies do much the same but ALSO find time to DTD every day AND clean your floors every day! Now I do like a bit of Method floor cleaner myself but am, er, almost struggling to remember when exactly it's royal marzipan-ness last made it out from under the kitchen sink. Note to self, must try harder. On the other hand, DP and I all too often manage to have a furious row about feck all at the 'crucial' DTD time of the month - it's tension/performance anxiety on both sides I think.

Well, DP's NHS hospital consultant appointment for his allergies has finally come around - it's tomorrow - so hopefully he'll finally make some progress on finding out what's causing it, rather than having to stuff himself full of anti-histamines and steroids. I'd been wondering whether it's linked to his anti-sperm antibodies - obviously it would be marvellous if he could get rid of them.

I've just found out I had a borderline low Thyroid result, from a test 2 weeks ago. GP had filed it as 'normal' and hadn't told me (they've got form for doing this). I've been hypothyroid and medicated for years, so I really should know better: I'm just kicking myself that I never chased up what the numbers actually were. So I emailed my consultant this afternoon and have been passing the time waiting for them to get back to me by having a mini-meltdown, spiralling catastrophic thinking that it's got worse in the past fortnight. Please, please not.

Good luck to all the 2 week waiters!

rugby O date was on one app the 7th march, this app has me at a 25 day cycle, on another app it has my o date as 5th march, but has me on a 24 day cycle, so.....im either 8dpo or 10 dpo.....

OR...i swear i felt stabbing ovulation type pains about 2 days ago, which would throw me out by a WEEK. If i hadnt been temping and seen the dip and rise of my temp, id have sworn that i ovulated 2 days ago.

so, im either due a/f on 20th, 21st or 28th based on 2 apps and some sharp stabby pains in my ovarian area.....

watch this space!

Fatty I hope you're on the mend soon, that combination sounds hideous. Your dh definitely owes you big time!

Joey I know what you mean. I always wanted two children, still do, but part of me thinks we've been so lucky and shouldn't push that luck plus the mc last year reminds me that getting pg is only the beginning not the end of the worries...

Hula thanks. Hopefully ov on day 12 or 13 doesn't mean the egg is undercooked. When I had my IVF I only had 10 days of stims so that must have been long enough I guess. My LP still seems to be 12 days which is ok. You are a star for not testing yet. I've got three tests in the house. One from my opk set and two which I seem to have inadvertently stolen from Tesco - last month when I bought some there were two boxes packaged together. It was supposed to be two tests so I assumed, without looking too closely, they were boxed seperately but I ended up with four tests. Whoops. Anyway, any takers on how many dpo I cave and test on?

Rugby glad you managed to dtd. We will soon be in the 2ww!

Chewy fab that your dp finally has his appointment. Let's hope they can sort him out quickly. I hope your thyroid is ok and that the docs are in touch soon. The last thing you need is more worry. at you thinking I mop the floors every day, I only do it once a week but try to do a bit of housework every day. Mopping every day would cut into my sitting around time and I can't have that!

Night all.

Crossed posts Fatty, maybe we should take bets on you too! I'll go for the 21st

Hello gsmummy Wow so many of us are around o time right now! I'm still getting flashy but am expecting solid tomorrow as lines are finally getting darker. I was in a complete panic (wondering where to buy a bottle and a syringe) as I'm away today and tomorrow but dtd last night and will get home in time tomorrow so think we r ok
fatty yuck that sounds awful - hope all better soon
Re the 'grateful to have one' that a few of you have mentioned I am so torn with you on that especially as we are risking a second stillbirth if we do manage to get pregnant. BUT I know how ecstatic I was when I thought we were going to get our second daughter so I know that's what we really want. We are going to try everything this year and then draw a line under it.
Speaking of which, I'm off to Create on thurs for an initial consultation on mild/ natural Ivf which is supposed to be good if egg reserve is low (also getting sneakily timed mid cycle scan). Has anyone been or heard anything about them?

Oh Fatty you sound so ill! Look after yourself.

Hi Gsmummy! I call your pregnant NCT friend... and raise you a sister and two other close family members! All of whom I struggle to speak to about baby stuff and have even avoided meeting on occasion - not because I'm not happy for them, but because it is so hard not being part of that at the moment. I feel awful about it. My sister is due very close to when I was due before mc. So I'm completely with you on that. No way I could deal with scan photos! But we shouldn't beat ourselves up about how we feel (although I do..). Most mums-to-be would understand I think (although admittedly I find it too awkward and haven't mentioned how I feel to them). Anyway... Complete sympathy from me

Chewy don't think for a moment I have time to clean floors - I wish! I am lucky enough to have a lovely lady who cleans for me... I could not manage without her - my house is pure chaos at the best of times.

(Am I terrible for, some exhausted ttc nights, wishing I could get someone to dtd for me too and get me upduffed? )

Kkmuppet what is Create? I don't think I've heard of it.

afternoon all
glad to see there are a few of us then at 46...we are indeed in good company!!

chewy hope your dp appointment goes ok and you get your thyroid results re-investigated..

twinkly that sounds really hard for you, mutual sympathy...must be soo hard with a sister too. I'm partly thinking i have to fess up to my nct mate but don't want to sabotage her happy time..although like you say if they are a good friend they will empathise (one hopes)

I'm there with the cleaner too, that was my present to myself when I had to go back to work..never time to clean with a full time job..that falls to the bottom of the list all the time!!

however did manage to step up to wifely duties last night so we made one night at least..but rubbish effort this month. next month i think we'll have to try for EOD from day 7...groans..

klmuppet good luck for Create, let us know how it goes, I just checked out their site, looks interesting, especially the number of testimonials from over 45s...think i'll investigate further. ..(so my brain clearly hasn't given up yet!)

Well I've just had another Thyroid blood test today, got a consultant appointment for Monday and meanwhile she's increased my meds a bit. Hopefully that'll sort me out but I'm really, really hoping it didn't get any worse in the couple of weeks' interval since the last blood test (as it would be bad news for all things fertility related).

Fatty did you get to see your GP re oral thrush? Can't think that's a 'waste of an appointment' (as you put it) at all! Hope you're feeling better soon.

Total sympathy with Joey, Gsmummy, Hula, Ababs, Kkmuppet and anyone else struggling with the conflict of feeling, yes of course 'grateful to have one' but still this huge all-consuming longing for a sibling . And Twinkly, Gsmummy - just, well, aaaaaaaaaaaaargh when close friends and relatives are popping out babies like shelling peas! Tricky. Wishing you strength to smile serenely and deal with as best you can ...

Kkmuppet - I hope this isn't insensitive. I think I remember you saying that Ruby's stillbirth was due to ICP? I didn't know what that was so I Googled and came up with Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy? Is it a risk that might repeat itself, and if so, could you avoid it by appropriate monitoring/treatment?
Good luck for your appointment with Create. If it's not too personal, I'd be really interested to hear anything you feel like sharing about what they say. What little I've read about their treatments seems quite persuasive for anyone concerned about low ovarian reserve (fully paid up member of that club, me).

Hello everyone, new to the forum but thought I would contribute my story. I have just turned 43, conceived 4 year old and 2 year old naturally and have had 2 miscarriages in the last year.

Just found out today that I am pregnant again- but not going to get my hopes up too much about it progressing...

Such an anxiety laden process, and although I want to take aspirin to aid implantation, I am afraid this could have unwanted effects too. Wish I could just sit on the sofa for the next 10 weeks and hold out until I get through the scary stage.

Good luck to all on here who are trying.

Hi kitten congrats!! I have taken low dose aspirin following every bfp since my first couple of miscarriages with no issues if that helps reassure you. It sounds like you may have had some losses but I hope this is a sticky one!
chewy I hope the thyroid is under control now. I never mind talking about Ruby Rose - especially if it means raising awareness about ICP but thank you for being sensitive :-) yes it was cholestasis that killed her. I had ICP with my 2.5 yo dd too and the chances of it recurring for me are very high. I was being monitored and was on medication but basically wasn't monitored well enough. I went into hospital with vomiting and contractions at 34.3 weeks and they didn't double check my bile acid levels which is the key cause of issues for the baby with ICP as they had a result from a couple days before which was fine. Looking back now I should have insisted they take bloods and double check but I wasn't thinking straight at the time as I felt so awful. Turns out I had a massive and sudden bile acid spike which caused Ruby Rose's heart to stop.
Obviously I would be even more cautious next time and demand bloods and I've also got a plan agreed with the consultant that they would look for me to deliver at 34 weeks. But that is scary in itself! Anyway, it's not an issue if I can't get pregnant so I'm worrying about that hurdle first! Oh and I will post a full update about Create tomorrow :-)
twinkly and gsmummy I can raise you again on the prevalence of pregnant women in my life - to the extent it is getting ridiculous. Three of our small team of staff at the pub where we live (that's like half the staff), two of my baby group and my 40 year old friend who smokes and drinks have all announced in the last few weeks. I go to the office in London last week to work on a little project... With someone who is obviously pregnant and is old and 'wasn't trying'. THEN I turn up to the Dublin office and find my key contact who I'm working with every day there is also 6 months pregnant! aargh they are taking over my life!!!

Congratulations Kitten, thank you for sharing your story. I hope that this pregnancy is a happy and healthy one for you.

Kkmuppet I'm so sorry about what happened to you and Ruby Rose, just beyond awful that it was avoidable. You are very brave to be trying again but what else can you do, we can't let these things defeat us.

Cd14 here, I'm pretty sure I've already ovulated. We dtd last night too so hopefully I'm covered. Going to have a rest tonight

Has anyone tested?