Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

[TwinklyMusic]

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Went for a free health check today - I have been feeling good as told I have the heart of a 35 year old despite being 43 and only have a 3% chance of heart attack in the next ten years - which I was told was very low and so have been very happy about how low it is - just pouring a cup of tea and realised that I'm clinging on to the belief I'll get pregnant at only 5% chance - so this is the curse of stats, I want to prove the 5% wrong and the 3% right. Argghhh - thanks for hellos ababsurdum and Bloopbleep. What a head xxxx this all is.

bloopbleep bloody well done! amanda thank you for your kind words and best wishes x ababs I realise though that I am lucky to be scared right now. Mindfulness- I am currently listening to 'mindfulness for the frazzled' by Ruby Wax, I would highly recommend it but I am not too good at making time to do it 😏 x wotsits so you are the same age as me then, I forget how long you have been trying? X

msw so sorry for delayed reply! Been buried in work and not kept up with the thread. Not sure about whether create monitor embryo development. I've been taking dhea and CoQ10 since about my second miscarriage a few years ago after I did lots of research about egg quality. Certainly didn't hurt as I have a beautiful 3 year old born when I was 42 and also my second daughter was perfect born at 43 nearly 44. amanda I totally get your comments about grief - I'm not saying my stillbirth is the same as your loss but my grief is just a part of my life and something I have to learn to live with. It's not something I will ever recover from or get over. I will always have something missing from my life that should be there and it's a hole that can't be filled. It's like living under a slight shadow or cloud that moves to the side sometimes and let's light shine through as I do have truly happy moments now I'm more than a year on, but the shadow always comes back and is always there waiting to come back. Sorry everyone else for being depressing but sometimes it's nice just to articulate how this feels.
To end on a happier note beegee that's fantastic news. A good early positive too. I'm keeping everything crossed that this is a super sticky healthy baby!

Oh Beegee congratulations!! Such great news. Delighted for you!

Don't get me started on supplements... Longer term residents of this thread might remember that I get a bit obsessed. (Not that it seems to make much difference... Ooooh I'm grumpy tonight). I used to take loads but now it's got to the point where I can't even remember what I'm on. I've a drawer full of stuff and every morning I open it and blearily pop a few random tablets into my mouth. Theoretically, I'm supposed to take different ones at night, but lately I don't remember what I took in the morning... I'm certain I'm taking thyroxine and folic acid, so that's the main thing. I also have pregnacare conception, coq10, vit d, inofolic, high dose vit b complex, low lose aspirin, vitex and some thyroid complex thingy. And Maca Root, but I stopped taking that because I thought it was shortening my cycles (I'm not sure though...). And I'm out of omega and magnesium but will probably order more...

I'm not even sure anymore why I'm taking all of these. Having said that, i do think they give me more energy. And I don't seem to get ill as much.

Like others have said, I'm also trying to eat more healthily and am even trying to start running again (pretty much stopped last year after pregnancy and mc). Things are really busy, so I'm struggling with time (and tiredness!), but I know from experience that IF I get into it, I'll be happier and healthier (it's a big IF though...).

And I could really do with losing some weight...

Yes ababs, it is about bloody time!!! I've all my fingers and toes crossed for us!

My cystitis turned into a kidney infection pretty quick. Trip to ooh doc and reckon no more dtd for me this week :( Fingers crossed my pittance of sex was well enough times but I'm really not sure I ovulated. Wondering why it gears up to then doesn't.

Bloop sorry about the kidney infection. I hope you're not in a lot of pain. Hopefully your dtd the day before is good enough, hopefully this month you will ovulate.

Twinkly you are indeed queen of supplements if they have their own drawer . Great that they're giving you more energy and less illness. Hopefully they're doing some good in the egg department too. I've decided to stop taking pregnacare conception. Yesterday I ordered some wellwoman max, it still has 400mg of folic acid. I've bought some biotin 1000mg to see if it helps my hair grow. I've got 200mg tablets of ubiquinol (which seems to be getting increasingly expensive. I'm unsure whether to just switch to h&b coq10 - they used to do a special q-sorb one which I assume was ubiquinol but don't seem to now). I have a few other targeted ones to get from it starts with the egg.

Amanda and Kkmuppet my heart goes out to you both. I truly hope I never experience your grief first hand. You are both so brave and I'm not sure I'm that strong.

Wotsits great that your heart is in such good shape. We all want to prove the 5% wrong, or right whichever way you look at it.

I'm am cd12 today and just got a positive opk, bit early again. I'm annoyed with myself as we were late to bed and didn't dtd even though we should have. +ve opk this morning means most likely it happened late yesterday so I could ovulate today. I will have to hope that dtd tonight will catch it. I must stick to smep (which says to start dtd eod from cd8) next month just in case of early ovulation. Feel like bad timing means I'm out already this month even though I haven't even ovulated yet!

Kkmuppet my heart goes out to you. It's so important to articulate grief. I've had phases of numbness, usually while I've been pregnant and trying to keep the grief at bay, but I've learned recently that it just makes it worse in the long run. Once I miscarry, it comes back with a vengeance. It'll be 9 months next week since my son died and it's been awful lately. Other bereaved mums who are further down the road than me say that 7-12 months is a rough time, as the shock is starting to wear off by then. It helps to talk to other people to know you're not going mad! I wonder with your DH whether more of his grief is surfacing now. My DH has talked to other bereaved dads and a common thread among them seems to be delayed grief. My DH says he spent the first 6 months trying to keep me alive (I battled every day with hopelessness and wanting to be with my boy in the ground) and trying to keep his job & the bills paid. With all that responsibility, he couldn't let himself grieve, so he's really struggling with it now. I'm glad you can feel some joy in life. I'm nowhere near that yet, but I really hope that I get some good news soon so that I can feel some of that sunshine. You and I will always have a child-shaped hole in our lives, but I do believe that finding a way to move forward is the best way to honour our children. My son was an energetic, loud, clever, tenacious force of nature, and he would expect his mummy to fight. I've shared his picture - hope no-one minds.

ababs The supplements are crazy expensive! The ubiquinol is so pricey. I read that 600mg of CoQ10 will do the same job as 200mg ubiquinol, and although you need to buy a lot more of it, it works out a lot cheaper off amazon or eBay. I don't know how convinced I am about it all. I think I'm doing it as much to feel like I'm doing something as I am for the science behind it. During the last mc I discussed it with the midwife at the EPU. I agreed with her that a good viable pregnancy will stick no matter what, regardless of how much crap you do or don't eat. I guess this ever-increasing cocktail of supplements only helps to fill in little gaps and might swing an otherwise unviable egg towards viability. As much as anything for me it's about taking back some control, and with my days very empty after losing my little toddler it gives me something to obsessively research!

On CD8 now - the CB-opk is showing a blank circle - hoping for a smiley face soon. Good luck to everyone - keeping my fingers crossed for more success stories! 🍀🍀🍀

Amanda what a gorgeous little boy, such a beautiful smile. You must miss him so much

Amanda your son is beautiful. I have a friend approaching her first anniversary of her son's death. I've learned so much from her grief process. I can't claim to understand how you feel but I send much love to you x

Thanks ababs and bloop. He was a beautiful little handful ❤️

Hope everyone's ok today...?

I started 1000mg omega 3 yesterday. Read somewhere that it can reduce the action of NK cells. I don't know what caused the 3 mc's - gut feeling says duff egg quality - but it won't do any harm to cover the bases. We've got an open evening at Care in a few weeks. Not sure what to expect. Xxx

I'm wondering whether to get myo inositol. I've read that it's most useful for women with pcos, which I don't think I have (I'm sure I'd know?). However I've also read that it's good for egg quality. Anyone have any views?

As of today I'm taking lipoic acid as well as my usual ones. I'm doing a subscribe and save for the wellwoman max and I don't think they'll come until next week. In the meantime I've been using up all the half used blister packs of pregnancy vitamins I had in the cupboard plus a freebee from my bounty pack last year.

I'm assuming I ovulated yesterday which would make me 1dpo. Dtd last night and will do tonight just in case. It's been a light month as I was unprepared for early ovulation! Also I've only used 9 opk's in the last 2 cycles. I think that's a record...

That's 9 opk's in total, I still have 1 left out of a 10 pack.

Amanda not sure what to expect from the open evening. Maybe a lot of embarrassed couples? We never went to an IVF open evening, just ploughed straight in. I remember hardly anyone talking or looking you in the eye though in the waiting room for monitoring scans etc. Everyone is so anxious about it all.

I take so many supplements I rattle. I'm not sure any of them are helping. I'm thinking I'd feel happier if the decision with ttc was taken out of my hands. If someone said its never going to happen I could move on.

I know what you mean Bloop, it's the endless not knowing and being somewhat in limbo. I think you just have to try and get on with normal life and keep ttc as only a small part of it.

amanda such a beautiful boy I admire you a lot, it is my worst nightmare losing a child xx

Beautiful boy Amanda! So heartbreaking.

I take inofolic to improve egg quality,
ababs. I was tested for pcos a couple of years ago and the scan showed I didn't have it, but I felt I had symptoms anyway. I think it makes a difference - I had only been taking it for about two or three months last year when I got pregnant. I think I stopped taking it then - if I got pregnant again (and I'm beginning to lose hope on that...), then I'd continue to take it.

I'm now going to order 1000mg omega oil (because of what Amanda said!) and uniquinol.

ababs, what's lipoic acid for?

It's ok ababs - I found it in 'it starts with the egg'!!

Thanks TwinklyMusic. How have you got on with 'It Starts With the Egg'? I read it yesterday. I'm good with the supplements, OK with the diet (within reason), OK with a lot of the BPA reducing ideas, but then I read the bit about pthalates.

So, I shouldn't use perfumed toiletries, wash my clothes in anything that smells nice, use scented deodorant, perfume, or nail varnish...!! 😧 Er, that's pretty much my whole personal hygiene routine right there! Had a talk with DH about it. He loves his smellies too. We talked about drawing the line there. You have to wonder at what point the stress of making life a total misery starts to offset whatever benefits you're getting from it.

Any thoughts?

amanda he is so beautiful. What a tragic loss. And thanks for the thoughts about my dh. He's been angry right from the start as if we'd had the right hospital care (and I was already in hospital) she would be here. He can't get over that. I'm actually thinking about making a formal complaint and a claim to see if an apology will help him to get some kind of closure. They already apologised in person to me at the post mortem discussion which he didn't hear as he couldn't cope with going. I am 15 months out and I can honestly promise that what everyone says is true that it does get easier to live with - BUT you have the awful position of ttc issues and having no living child To Help take the pain away so I think you are doing incredibly well just getting out of bed in the mornings!
Now on the subject of supplements I did SO much research and if I took everything they recommended i would need a room never mind a drawer. I whittled it down to those with the most proper medical evidence that I could find. Myo-inositol combined with melatonin did make the cut as I found so much about it particularly when you take both. Also dhea and coq10. Then l'arginine, Royal jelly, multi vit and baby aspirin. Think that's about all. There was a time I was taking loads more but it was getting ridiculous!

Thanks Twinkly, will check out inofolic. Sorry you're starting to lose hope, me too. I'm just about at a year now of ttc (albeit that it started with a pregnancy) and feeling like it's not going to happen. Still, I'll try for a bit longer and see - you never know. Whereabouts are you in your cycle?

Amanda I agree, you could go to quite some lengths if you were evangelical about it. Personally though I feel that a lot of this stuff is just ubiquitous and nigh on impossible to avoid. Personally I switched deodorant to salt of the earth a few months before I conceived ds (not saying it's related), but that was to do with the aluminium. I find it works quite well for me. If I think I'm going to need something more heavy duty I use unperfumed Mitchum. I also stopped using nail varnish when I was pregnant though I do now (toes mostly). Most other things I use as most other people do and have no plans to change at the moment.

Kkmuppet I hope your dh can get some closure. Such a terrible situation for you both.

I am 4dpo today and just the usual sore boobs. Ds was awake for 3 hours Friday night and we are still knackered. No dtd here!

What brands are reliable with this myo inositol?

I had read melatonin was potentially bad when ttc (I wanted to try it for sleep problems but that put me off) is there any info on its efficacy?

I take quite a lot of supplements for variety of reasons. Magnesium for restless legs (doesn't work as well as an orgasm btw!) iron & vit c - I'm always low on iron, ubiquinol (which has been this wonder supplement for me re: energy) b complex with extra folic acid and b12 - I take epo up to ovulation but I don't think it makes a bit of difference.

If I have ovulated I'm 6dpo today. I don't think I ovulated though, even if FF did give solid crosshairs. It's done that before. What's the point of having this supposedly amazing egg reserve if none of them ever pop out?

Kkmuppet, thank you for your support, lovely lady. With everything you've been going through as well, it's so kind of you. I suppose we're 'lucky' (wrong word but can't think of another) to just have pure sadness. My son's death was so sudden - he just had a bad cold, but that combined with teething & a recent vaccine meant that his immune system was looking the other way when strep A got into his bloodstream (sepsis). He went from 'normal' poorly to seriously ill within a couple of hours. I know that the paramedics and resuscitation team did everything they could because I was there the whole time. He died in the ambulance before we even made it to hospital. Strep A sepsis is just evil and deadly. I'd encourage everyone to get an understanding of sepsis because it's deadlier than meningitis, and getting quick treatment is the only chance you'll have. It can't be prevented. But anyway, we don't have any specific anger to process. We still get angry, mainly at the universe for being so bloody cruel, and at people who think we should just 'get over it'. I can't imagine how you feel knowing that your precious girl would be with you now but for a hospital error. I would say, do whatever you & DH need to do to get as much closure as you can. A complaint seems entirely reasonable to me.

Thanks for the supplement advice. I think my confusion is that my circumstances seem a little different to most. I seem to have hyper fertility. I ovulate & get AF like clockwork, and we conceive more often than not when we try (we started ttc in Jan, mc'd Feb & March, missed April, pregnant again in May, SMM in June). The last preg went to 9 weeks, so I had loads of blood tests & 4 scans. My progesterone levels were good, and everything looked good in my womb. Just the little bean didn't grow properly. So supplements-wise, I'm trying to focus on egg quality. DH is also on multi-vits & Q10. No hint of PCOS or any other gynae problems. Any suggestions would be most welcome. I've totally confused myself with Dr Google, and my brain is melting 😱

ababs thanks for the tip - I'll check out Mitchum. I'm far too much of a sweaty betty for natural deodorants to work - I've tried them all! I'll refrain from manicures from now on, but it's a life rule that I can't get my trotters out in summer without toe nail polish! Good luck - may your boobs grow & AF stay away for the next 9 months 🍀🍀🍀

On CD12 today & just had a positive opk, so dtd daily for a few more days. Powering through DHs migraine & my stomach bug..... SO sexy 🙄

My consultant said I had hyper fertility too as I was getting pregnant so many times but miscarrying. This was from about 38 to 43 and that's when I refined my supplement list to what I mention above. Now I have the problem that since giving birth April 2015 I haven't even had a sniff of a pregnancy so think my hyper fertile days are well and truly over :-(

Was wondering if I could still join this thread?! I am 42 and have a ds who was 3 last week. Ttc #2 for a few months. I am extremely broody! No such luck as yet. Taking Folic acid but any suggestions on any other supplements? I do have ME and Fibromyalgia which doesn't affect my ability to be a mum.