Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

[TwinklyMusic]

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

ababs looks like I'm out v early again Shrinking cycle is a v bad sign! But this month, unlike last month (gutting!), I did not think I had pg symptoms.

Anyone have any suggestions on lengthening cycle?

Amanda the brand 'JĀSÖN' do a range of smellies without chemicals. They are cheap, and to be honest, some products come across that way, but some of them are nicer. I have lavender roll on deodorant that is quite nice, and the rose body wash and body cream. I used the shampoo and conditioner for a while but wasn't a huge fan. I'll try it again, but only by using preferred products on alternative days or something...

They also do a male range and DH is currently trying out the deodorant.

The Mama Mio range for pregnancy is also phalate free. More expensive, but very nice. I really like them; the creams are lovely. The tubes don't seem to last very long though. They also do a non-pregnancy range, 'Mio', but I'm not sure these are as 'kind' and it doesn't say they are phalate free. So may as well use the Mama range and hope that it's a case of fake it to make it

I'm not giving my perfumes up, but I'm hoping that changing other products will reduce my overall contact with phalates.

I have also changed at least partially to Method cleaning products, and other brands such as Ecover.

But I'm not pregnant...

Sorry to hear that TwinklyMusic 😟 Without wading back through the thread I don't know if you've tried Agnus Castus...? I don't seem to have any luteal phase problems (yet) and when I took it, it buggered up my cycle. I wonder though if that's because I took it when I didn't really need to. There's a lots of convincing research about it helping to lengthen a shortened luteal phase. I read that it's prescribed for that in some countries. The fact that it affected my cycle gives me confidence that it's not just a big fat placebo.

I've been using 'Faith in Nature' products from the local health food shop. I really like their shampoos & soaps. I'm sticking to the same cleaning products for now. I've ditched all of our canned food & kitchen plastics. I'll ramp things up a notch if we don't have any more luck soon, but for now I'm happy with the changes I've made. Like you, I must have cut my exposure a lot. Xx

Hi Winniecymru. On the recommendation of some of the lovely ladies here, I've read 'It Starts With The Egg', which has a lot of advice on supplements. I'm not sure about how they would interact with your medical conditions, but might be worth a look! Wishing you all the best xx

Hi winniecymru - welcome :)

Agnus Castus is meant to be good if you have a hormone imbalance particularly with regard to lengthening latter stages of your cycle but less so if you don't have any issues - it shortened my LP so I'm not so keen on it. I read b6 is also good but you need to be careful with the dosage as too much can cause nerve damage (numbness and pins and needles). I also take evening primrose oil as that's meant to be good for the first half of your cycle (no idea why but it does help with CM) but it's not so good for the second half as apparently it can cause wee Contractions in the uterus. That said most of the info I've gained has been from sites like this and could be absolute rubbish.

Thank you for your welcome and your recommendations. I will definitely try a couple of the supplements and read It Started with an egg.
I have been reading your posts for a while now and it's good to know there are other people in my situation. I know many people think 40+ is too old to have a baby but I don't agree! Looking forward to reading more.

So I went to gp about giving me the wrong test results. He was very apologetic but maintained that the fertility clinic will refuse to see me until I've been trying without success (even if it ends in mc) for over a year - even if the blood tests show I've been consistently anovulatory. He did take my blood again, assuming my cycle would be a normal 28day length but says there's a problem if my cycles remain erratic with getting the progesterone peak. He wasn't too keen on testing over a variety of days to cover all bases. I'm sure that's more of a financial / bureaucratic thing. So basically whatever happens I'm on my own. Even if a problem exists they won't treat it. :(

Oh Bloopbleep 😡😡😡 That's just complete bull. Time to rob a bank. My GP is happy to refer me to a fertility clinic after a few more months of trying. We started trying in Jan, and have had 3 mc's since. The difference: we'll be paying privately. We don't have the money but we've arranged to borrow it from family, which we'll be paying back for years, otherwise we'd be screwed. It just shouldn't be like this. Having children should be a right, not a privilege for people with money.

bloop I think you need to see a different doctor! I went to gp age 38 after trying without success for 6m following miscarriage and was immediately referred to an ob gyn consultant at a fertility centre. Managed to get 2 free nhs Ivf cycles after trying clomid first without success. You should be getting referred for your irregular cycles alone i'd have thought! Even if you may be past the age for free Ivf there's lots they can do to help rather than wait and see. Is there any way you could ask to see a different doctor?

Oh and also are you temping so you can tell if you are ovulating at all?

Thanks Amanda and kkmuppet - I've seen quite a few doctors gp's and 2 consultant gynaes and they've all said the same thing - need to wait a year. I don't think I'm eligible for ivf as I am blessed to already have a child with my partner but they could offer Clomid.
I do temp and every month bar one in March has shown a raise consistent with ovulating including the month the progesterone said I hadn't. The level of progesterone was so low that even being on the downward slide it would've been higher. I read on infertility uk today that under 5 indicates no ovulation at all whereas over 5 but under 30 suggests a possible ovulation/ problem with progesterone holding up during the luteal phase. The only thing I was offered for my erratic periods was contraception which obviously wouldn't help with ttc.

Ah I didn't realise you already had a child. That must be what makes the difference. Maybe you could try something like Mexican yam which I think is supposed to naturally increase progesterone? I'm sure you've tried dr Google already so have probably already come across all the things for luteal phase defect. Even if your luteal phase isn't short I think most of them aim to boost progesterone.

Kkmuppet - yes I am very blessed to have an almost 7yo but I fear for her growing up alone. My siblings all live all over the world and have no kids of their own, my oh's siblings are the same. I'd hate to think that when we die that she'd have no family to spend things like Christmas with.

We went to visit a private clinic today but the costs are so prohibitive. They want to redo all the tests the NHS have already done which puts up the price drastically. This is apparently non negotiable, it's a condition of treatment. I think I'm going to have to wait until January and keep my fingers crossed the next NHS gynae I see is still willing to give me clomid.

I feel so bloody useless. My amh is 17.2 which is great- I have gazillions of eggs and they just won't pop.

Forgot to say I'm off to find Mexican yam :)

bloop that Amh is amazing! Mine is 1. Something :-( last suggestion from me if you are considering Ivf is to look into Ivf abroad - SO much cheaper. The clinic I am looking at using for donor cycle (Reprofit) does Ivf for something like 1400 euro plus a bit more for drugs.

There are two different measures of AMH - pmol/l and ng/ml. Kkmuppet yours will most likely be in ng/ml and Bloops in pmol/l. See here. I had mine tested when I was 40 and it was 15.9. The consultant told me it was average for my age though the IVF consultant we used said it was better than average. I think opinion varies as it's a relatively new measure.

Bloop so frustrating for you though January will come around really soon I'm sure.

I'm 7dpo today, I think. Not feeling anything so not expecting much.

Yes it was pmol/l. I was shown a chart like the one in this link : www.rmanj.com/2013/09/anti-mullerian-hormone-amh-testing-of-ovarian-reserve/ to decipher what was average for my age then 40. The fertility nurse said it was excellent and the gynae thought it was a bit high but there's no sign of pcos. But it makes no difference what the number is if they just fester in my ovaries and it doesn't say anything about quality. A test that could decipher quality would be so much more useful.

Where is the clinic are you using kkmuppet? I've heard a lot about serum in Athens but I think it's dearer than you've said.

I wish you both (any everyone else reading) well over the next few days.

Welcome Winniecymru, It starts with the egg is a good read. I hope you find it useful.

Twinkly oh no! My cycle has gone the other way the last few months but this one is likely to be shorter as I ovulated on cd12 I think. Also not a good sign but not altogether unexpected, perhaps, at 44. Bear in mind that plenty of women get caught out in the perimenopause (if, indeed, that's what it is) so all's not lost yet.

Amanda the faith in nature coconut shampoo and conditioner was the best I tried of greener ones. I saw an ad on Mumsnet for an aluminium free deodorant by soft and gentle that I might look at.

It's great that you're able to get some private treatment. Do you have a clinic in mind?

Mexican yam. Is that what Samantha in Sex and the City was on for her menopause symptoms?

I recently bought some lush deodorants that have no metals. One is a charcoal powder than smells of lavender which is lovely. The other is one you rub on and smells of patchouli. They won't stop the sweating but you won't smell bad when you do.

As for natural shampoos I used to get a really basic Rosemary shampoo in Holland and Barrett which didn't have any nasties in and I love he smell Rosemary but the company evades me. It didn't lather too much but your don't actually need all those bubbles anyway. I also splashed out on organic shampoo and conditioner from Tints of Nature a few years back that were amazing for your hair and everything was certified organic and free of nasty stuff. I don't know if it would meet requirements of It starts with an egg tho.

Hello ladies - can I join you all . Been reading your thread. Hunting around for inspiration and positivity really. I'm 41 and had 2 MCs. After my last one in May, I started taking Maca, co enzyme 10 and Vitex but I think my cycle has now been negatively affected. So dropped them all and trying the chillax method - first glass of wine in ages !

Bloop was it dr organics? I tried a couple of those but didn't get on with them.

Welcome Rider. There's a lot to be said for the chillax approach, though I've never managed it... Here's hoping it works for you. The odd glass of wine isn't going to hurt, in fact it's probably quite medicinal

And I'm sorry about your mc's

Hi Ryder! Welcome :)

Ababsurdum no it wasn't dr organic it was less "branded" looking. I don't think they stock it now. I went in today to get the name of it and it wasn't there. It's got me curious now so I'm going to spend the weekend looking for it. It wasn't flashy and just washed but it smelled lovely

Thanks for the fertility-friendly toiletries tips, folks. Are the JASON shampoos & conditioners any good? I'm definitely converted to Faith in Nature. My scalp has actually been a lot healthier since I started using it. The JASON deodorant didn't work for me. I've read that Dove deodorants are paraben-free, but they do contain aluminium I think.

ababs we've had 3 recommendations for Care in Manchester so we're going there. From what I've read they don't insist on starting again with all the usual blood tests etc, which we're getting done through the NHS at the recurrent miscarriage clinic. You can opt to have them, but we're trying to keep costs down. We did our research and they seem to have good results, and above average success with donor eggs (which we'll consider after a trial with my own eggs). We've got our open night on Tuesday, so I'll hopefully know more after that. It's all new to me. I'm not looking at going abroad as I'd rather have the continuity of a fairly local clinic.

I think I'm 4dpo-ish now. I usually know within a week of ov if I'm pregnant - after 5 pregs I've had plenty of practice! I don't feel like my body put much effort in this month though - none of the usual ov symptoms or tww symptoms. So much for a D&C increasing fertility 🤔

Welcome Winnie and Ryder! Sorry to hear about MCs Ryder... Unfortunately many of us here have also this sad experience.

The good news is that on here you are still young! So you have a better chance than those of us in our mid forties!

Amanda I'm already taking Vitex, although admittedly not as religiously as I used to. It certainly seemed to settle my cycle back to 28 days last summer, and indeed I got pregnant at that point (for newbies, I sadly had mc in September). Since then, however, Vitex has not had the same impact, and I've become a little more careless in when I take it.

Can anyone remember, was lengthening your cycle one of the potential benefits of DHEA?

I think it might be my ovulation that is getting earlier (and according to clearblue I am still ovulating each month) rather than my luteal phase shortening.

Speaking of ovulation, which is more reliable, temping (which I hate because I am rubbish at remembering) or opk?

Bloop and others who have had bad experience with GPs (autocorrect changed 'gps' to 'god' there, how ironic!!), you have my full sympathy. I think the difference in attitudes of different gps towards older women who are ttc is alarming. It can be the difference between a successful pregnancy and none at all. Sometimes support and enabling a few tests is enough to make a difference. My GPs have been mostly completely disinterested in me telling them I've had problems. They just look at my age (since I turned 40, not to mind now!!!) and raise a quizzical eyebrow. It has completely put me off asking them for help.

I agree that women with no children deserve help over me, and I wouldn't want to take up resources that should be spent on them. So when doctors look sceptically unsympathetically at me I kind of feel too awkward to push the matter. A little bit of empathy, however, and a sympathetic conversation about what I should think about having looked at (albeit at a private clinic) would have been really helpful over the last few years.

Last year I pushed one of our GP's for progesterone tests when I was pg and she refused, saying there was no point because they wouldn't do anything if the tests came back low. She was wrong - I should have been tested and indeed because I've hypothyroidism, NICE guidelines say blood tests should have been given immediately. I still kick myself for not making more of a fuss about that at the time and insisting. What if extra thyroxine or progesterone supplements were all that was needed to make that pregnancy viable?

GPs can be very ageist towards us ladies in our forties who are ttc - it makes me really angry.

Sorry... Rant over...

ababs - peri menopause or not, I'd love to be 'caught out'!!! I'm so fed up with all of this trying, and it's really been getting me down. Unfortunately, I know a lot of people with newborns or who are heavily pregnant. It doesn't help! Thinking of Jass is the only thing keeping me going right now!

Hello and thanks everyone for the warm welcome. After some chats with a lovely lady from MN who MC'd at the same time as me in May, and who advised the Starts with an Egg book, I've made some changes in daily life about plastics, toiletries and cleaning products.
Whether this helps or not, I find it tragic that we destroy our environment and nature and that the powers that be don't keep us informed of the toxins around us.
I just stopped with vitex. Since my MC, I was using maca, vitex n coenzyme 10. But my second cycle - this one I'm on on now - my "period" was 4 days late. I stopped it all on Wed this week as I've never been late in 20 years. 2 days after I stopped - my period arrived. I didn't get a positive OPK this cycle but don't know if this was lengthening of cycle due to supplements as I ran out of sticks just after when I should have ov'ted.
Anyway - I give it a break. I did love that maca though - so much energy from that !
Next step here is try to chill n get back to normal, get a positive OPK and consider IVF alongside a natural conception.
I wouldn't even try my doctor - I had to pretend I was getting depression to get some blood tests done after my last MC.