Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

[TwinklyMusic]

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Self indulgent posts are fine here - otherwise how would you share how you are feeling! Well that's my view anyway.
I am 45 as of this week and am absolutely desperate to get another baby soon - and yet know that it is a little bit mad at my age. I reassure myself by reading stories of women in their fifties having kids but still, 45 is pretty old :-( yet again today I had someone see me with my dd and ask me if I had 'any other grandchildren' ... Ouch! I thought I looked young for my age, obviously not!

I'm sorry the witch turned up Twinkly, it's heartbreaking when it does. I'm new here but I'm sure the odd self indulgent post is allowed. Take care x

Oops pressed send too soon.

I took Agnus Castus up until ov. I take quite a few supplements but only continue with iron, magnesium, vitaminc, b complex and ubiquinol after ov. I ran out of zinc and can't afford to replace yet. Are there other supplements worth trying?

I tried macca for a while but it made my heart race

Twinkly - sorry about AF .

I can totally empathise with everything you have said and i feel the same. My ovulation time is due any day but I now feel despondent and sad. I also feel like time is running out and sometimes I feel almost foolish for thinking I have a chance of becoming pregnant and all of the negatives that would go with being pregnant at my age if it did miraculously happen.

I keep having days where I feel so desperately sad and quite bloody helpless actually - really quite awful. But what is one to do? I also feel like I haven't finished - I have this yearning for another baby that isn't going away - other people don't understand. They mean well when they mention how lucky I am with my 2 children I have etc etc. I KNOW this - my children are my life and I love them more than anything. They will never understand and they will never understand how it feels to have had all the miscarriages I have had too - they mean well but God their comments piss me off! It would seem we are both having a bad day - I feel for you TWINKLY xx. Having that glimmer of hope only for AF to show not long after is painful and soul destroying. I keep thinking of JaSS and her recent update and it gives me hope. Lets us stay hopeful and I hope you feel better about things soon xx

Stupidly let myself believe maybe this was my month - two days ago I had weird pressure feelings in my uterus and cervix area that I've only ever felt when I was pregnant & my temps have been higher for longer than usual but now it's the usual aching before af. Just in time to start for my birthday on Thursday :( Boooooo to this ageing lark.

Hi
I'm new to this thread, and hope it's ok to join in.
I'm 41 next week, married to my lovely husband for 8 months, neither of us have been married before, nor have any children. He is the perfect man for me, but I feel that we may have met just a little too late.
We got pregnant 3 months after ttc, but sadly lost the baby at 11 weeks, just 8 weeks ago. I'm on my second period since the miscarriage, and wondering if we are ridiculous to keep trying.
My husband is really positive about us being able to conceive again, but I'm not so sure. I just can't see it happening.
We'll keep trying, but have said that we'll start the adoption process after a year of trying if we're not successful. I have always wanted to adopt anyway, and my husband would be fine with it too, but he does want to try for our own first.
I wonder if anyone has any tips for not obsessing about getting pregnant? It's constantly on my mind, and I work with children. I adore my job and the students I work with, but it is a constant reminder that I go back to a childless house every evening.

Sorry, Twinkly and Matts, the down days are so hard. It's perfectly acceptable to come and moan to us! We may all be crazy to be hoping for that baby in our early to mid forties, but at least we're in it together. I hope that it works out for you. Matts is right, the update from Jass was encouraging news. But I've just come out of a long period of feeling it was all hopeless, so I totally understand.

Bloop so have your temps actually dropped? Boo. Still, you're not out yet.

Ababs I am convinced that pregnancy 'symptoms' before AF is actually due are psychosomatic. I'll repeat: you're not out yet!

kk I'm sure you don't look like a grandmother!

Welcome, Helbelle I am so sorry for your loss. I have a similar story: met my DH late in my 30s, started trying. I had a first trimester m/c at 41 and my bouncing off the walls DS at 42. I hope it happens for you, too. I will say, after inhabiting the ttc after 40 threads then and now, women in the early 40s, like you are, have an easier time of it. Sorry, I hope that isn't too discouraging for my fellow mid forties ladies.

Welcome Helbelle75, I'm sorry about your mc. It's a very hard thing to go through and many of us have been there.

There's definitely still a chance you can conceive - I conceived my ds aged 41 plus you've already conceived once even though that pg didn't work out. Any reason why you'd want to move straight to adoption rather than trying any intervention (IVF for example)?

Are you using OPK's (ovulation predictor kits) or temping etc. or taking any supplements?

I'm not sure you'll find many tips here for taking your mind off ttc, most of us are obsessed too!

Oh, and as for not obsessing, that is very hard! When I was grieving from my miscarriage and thinking about getting pregnant, the best thing that I did for myself was to decide to control what I could. So I tried to be as healthy as my overweight middle aged body could be. I recommitted to going to the gym and cycling or walking to and from work. I ate food that would be as nourishing of my body as I would hope to be of any future baby in utero. I took a minute every day to reflect on something positive from the day or something that I was grateful for. I don't know if it helped me to get pregnant, but it gave me something more positive to think about and it helped me to come out of the little depression that I was in. And it definitely helped my body once I actually was pregnant, two months later! In fact, I should take my own advice right now.

Twinkly you're definitely allowed to be self indulgent! I'm sorry that you're feeling so down and that things seemed so hopeful this month but didn't work out - it really sucks. Take some time to lick your wounds and be kind to yourself. Gosh this ttc is hard. Big hugs to you.

Kkmuppet that happened to me once, I think. On the street behind us is a care home for the elderly and there was a gentleman I used to see a lot in the days when I had to walk my ds hours so he would sleep. One day he asked me if I was the nanny. At the time I assumed he meant nanny as in childcare professional but later on I realised that he probably meant grandmother . I'm sure you don't look old too.

MattsMamma I'm sorry that you've been feeling down lately too. You need to think positive thoughts for this months ovulation! I'll keep everything crossed for you. I know what you mean about the fear if you do actually conceive. The times recently where I had been convinced I was pregnant I was bricking myself about the risks. The worry is, sadly, not over even when you get that bfp - not for me anyway.

Bloop I'm sorry you feel the witch is on her way. Have you tested?

Pies you're right, I don't really get any early symptoms anyway except for a bit of mild dizziness but in any event I tested this morning (not fmu) and it was bfn. Still early I know but I tested +ve at 10dpo with ds and I can just feel that I'm not pg. I'm trying to see some positives. Not sure what they are yet...

Pies a very wise post and a good reminder about controlling what you can. That's all we can do really and try not to worry about what we can't.

Thanks for your lovely replies.
Glad that thinks worked out for you with your son Pies. Love the description! I've always been a really active person, but lost a lot of confidence with the mc and put on weight, so I'm going to Slimming World to try and get back down and healthy again, and I'm getting back into my dance and drama, although finding it difficult, as I feel I've changed quite a lot. I agree that focussing on something else is really important.
ababsurdum I'm taking supplements, but haven't been using OPKs. I have ordered some to arrive this week though. IVF doesn't feel like the right choice for us at the moment.
Most of my friends had their children in their late 30s, so I should take hope from that, but I guess I'm just a little down at the moment. Glad to have found this group anyway, it's nice to chat to people who know what it's like.

Well said Pies. Getting really nervous about my fertility appointment tomorrow, doesn't help that they won't have my AMH results back for another fortnight, so still have no idea what my ovarian reserve is. Thought I'd had implantation bleeding Friday and Saturday but did a test today and it was negative 😔

I'd convinced myself I had implantation bleeding and slight cramping last week bondy. Devastated when my period arrived. It's so hard.
Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow,

Thanks helbelle 🙂

helbelle75 I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Like you I'm about to turn 41 and I'm saying this to persuade myself as much as you - we're still quite young (I'm constantly told by doctors) and we've shown we can get pregnant (that doesn't help much after a mc I know) so don't give up just yet. A mc is heartbreaking and it's taken me a longtime to come to terms with it (and I still count the weeks I should be) so don't think you need to be getting over it, allow yourself time to grieve. If you want to give up ttc by all means do but don't let your age stop you. If you still have regular periods you're still in with a chance xxx

Gosh I started writing my response above at 12.30 and got distracted. Sorry if it appears I've ignored responses... You all move too fast for me!

I quick response temps were higher this am than days before but it feels just like every other month - I get a lot of luteal phase pain so am very familiar with it not being pregnancy.
I haven't tested yet as I'm only 9dpo but last month my LP dropped from 14days to 11 so I could be due at any minute. :(

Thanks bloop. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm still young, fit and healthy, but it feels like everything is so unachievable at the moment.
I was feeling quite positive for a while.
I'm almost dreading the summer holidays, because it means lots of thinking time, but we have a lot to do in the house and garden, so I hope that's a distraction for me.
Fingers crossed for everyone.

Hello everyone x sorry I have been awol for a good while. Have been struggling with emotions and anxiety and needed to pull away a little. I think my thyroid might not be working properly and have a feeling that I may be estrogen dominant/ low on progesterone. I have started taking norwegian kelp and today started using progesterone cream. I am hoping that both of these can help me feel more balanced and happy but also help with short luteal phase too. Fingers crossed for feeling more balanced. Sorry to read about hard times for some of you .
Much good luck KK . Hope you are all taking care of yourselves xx

Hi helbelle. Your post could have been written by me 5 years ago. I married my DH 2 months before I turned 40. We started ttc straight away and I was lucky to get pregnant within 6 months. Unfortunately that ended in mc at 11 weeks. I got pregnant again a couple of months later (by which point I was only 1 month away from being 41) and that was a successful pregnancy resulting in my ds who is now 4. So I really think you are in a good position and I wouldn't get too despondent just yet.

Trying for #2 on the other hand when you are closer to mid-40's, well that's a whole other ball game. I'm with you all who are feeling fed-up. I had this a few months ago. I've actually come out the other side now, and am now very chilled about the whole thing. I think I have accepted that it's not going to happen. We are on holiday at the moment and I have a hycosy booked for 10th August, but I'm actually thinking about cancelling it. DS starts school in September, and I just think maybe it's time I closed the chapter on ttc and look forward to the next stage with DS rather than wanting to go back to babies again. I'm still hoping for some exciting news stories on here though!!

Thanks for the kind words everyone and ababs for the hugs! Looks like I'm not alone in feeling how tough all of this is! to all of us!

Pies your words are indeed wise! I could do with paying a lot more attention to my general health and fitness.

Helbell sorry for your mc... Too many of us on this thread have been there. But please take heart that 41 is a spring chicken on this thread! You have a good chance of getting pregnant again.

Good to hear from you Beegee! You'll see a few of us having been down, so you're certainly not alone. I've also been using progesterone cream in the second half of the cycle. I think my hormones are a bit out of whack, so I'm not sure what difference it makes.

If you go ahead with the HyCoSy, Joey let me know how it goes. I'm curious and thinking of trying it. A part of me wants to start considering fertility treatment, even though we always said we would not go that far (but that was when our only experience had been getting pregnant when we wanted to!).

Hope you're doing ok Kk!!

JoeyWife it is worth getting the hycosy (however it is very uncomfortable, I won't lie about that) coz st least you'll know if your tubes are ok.

I've had my scans of my tubes, my ovaries and the lining of my womb, which thankfully are all ok. So I'm thinking it's combination of not ovulating properly and my eggs my ovarian reserve is yet to be confirmed), this is my first ever attempt to get pregnant and my only course now is fertility treatment, will hopefully find out more at my next appointment tomorrow.

beegee3 where did you get your progesterone cream? I'm wondering if I perhaps need to try something like that. Are there side effects?

bloopbleep I got it on amazon. Pretty much everything I have read is positive. It just seems to make sense for me, was looking for short luteal phase but I think I would need it even if I wasn't ttc x

Thanks beegee3 I'm heading off there now :)