Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Phew, what news this weekend berries...?

perfect Your amh actually sounds pretty good for 40. Mine, first tested while I was still 38 (just) was below 2, I'd hate to think what it is now I'd rather not know, and on my last cancelled cycle, I only had one follicle. I was also on a similar protocol to you last time (short with suprecur) and didn't do so well on it. A couple of other berries were in a similar boat. I'm sure you'll get lots of advice on supplements here, but I think aspirin is pretty unproven, and if you're taking omegas, omega 3 is the one to choose. There are other berries here that know more than me about implantation and immune type things too. Good luck for your appointment tomorrow. Do let us know how you got on.

kuma thanks, I've never heard of indomethacin. I'll have to have a google. Hope that plane was taking you somewhere nice?

beaky I'm going to get back to you on it starts with an egg. I'm still taking it in and stocking up on supplements.

barking really sorry about your pg friend 3 and a half weeks isn't too bad a wait, hey? At least you know you start your cycle pretty soon after that?

pip Hi! We haven't met, but lovely to see our best in show drop by.

tiger, happy Wave! Hope you ladies had a nice weekend?

Kerrie hope you're doing ok? Did you find the stuff I posted for you helpful?

Mixed emotions in Berry HQ at the moment. Big hugs to Rain, Spare and Beaky. Do whatever you need to do ladies to get yourselves through this shitty time. Hugs.

Minx - very tentative congratulations. Keeping everything crossed for your sticky embie(s). X

Ooh, nice one Minx.

Hope you are bearing up Spare, Rain and Beaky. The whole thing stinks.

Hello everyone,
Thank you for your concerns, I am feeling a bit better now. More positive. I am so sorry for you all. This shiny really does suck!! Congratulations minx some good news and maybe some hope left for us lot. I have my follow up appointment on Saturday and I have loads of questions the main one being why didn't it work when I threw everything possible at it. Everything they told me to do I did. they was apparently text book perfect embryos,had assisted hatching used the embryo glue, I had the scrape took, baby aspirin vitamin d, ate a healthy diet paid extra for the injection instead of pessaries and other stuff they suggested. This all makes me feel like such a failure if I can't even keep them by doing all that was meant to make it work.
R.I.H all little Embies. shine bright. Xx love and thoughts with all you berries. Xx

How? Why?

Waiting for FC to finish his surgery and call me, so I can ask WTAF happened. I have never had a 23d cycle in my life. What happened this month? Was it the drugs, collection, something else entirely?
Is there anything else I need to ask?
Sending some Monday morning love to all my ladybros

hi everyone, just logged in after a few days away (buried under coursework).

spare/beaky really sorry to hear its bad news for you both. we're all here for you. just make sure you look after yourselves

minx great news about your bpf...sending you a hug.

I'm still trying to decide what to do next...have raised the bringing ivf forward with dh, and he was open too it, understands logic. just need to get my head round what to do next and where on earth to start.

rain/kuma it's good to hear that private fc can keep cycles quiet, so that the nhs don't find out.

happy thanks for the advice about pushing forward

nolly interesting the info about clomid not working for unexplained. its amazing how little info the nhs have really given me upto this point.

seasame thanks for the advice about antral follicles count.

barking thanks for the adivce about ovarian reserve testing

so as I am right at the start of my ivf journey, I need your advice please...

• where do I start?
• how do I go about selecting a private fc?
• what questions should I be asking at this stage?
• are there any web resources out there, that set out the steps I need to take?
• I assume antral follicle count and ovarian reserve testing would all be done through a fc?

sorry for all the questions, sure I'll have many, many more...

hi to everyone else.

spare if you bled early, possibly your luteal phase support didn't work properly this time. Ivf causes luteal phase defect, which is why they need to give progesterone to aid implantation. You could ask if they suspect problems with your follicles this time. You could ask about changes to progesterone support e.g. more, different form, starting earlier. Also whether they can give you something else on top. You prob wouldn't be a candidate for hcg injections due to ohss risk, but in literature some clinics are supplementing with small doses of agonist a few days post ec - which I think is meant to encourage the corpus luteum to produce natural progesterone. Hope they can shed some light.

FC called. He wants to do a blood test to triple check I'm not pregnant, and also wanted to do a progesterone profile, but I stopped taking it this morning, so he said he can't do it.
He said it is strange because I've been ok after all the other transfers, but this is the first fresh transfer I've had, so sesame's info makes sense.
I just looked back on my period tracking app, and I think I had a 17 day cycle after the collection cycle last time, although I wasn't on any lutal support then. But it looks like I've got a problem with progesterone absorption, and this cycle was therefore doomed from the start. I now feel so terribly guilty. Those poor embies didn't stand a chance, and I should have researched this more before agreeing to a fresh transfer

spare you shouldn't blame yourself....ivf has so many moving parts, and things that can be tweaked, you can only try your best to ask all the right questions or do all the right research...at the end of the day, we aren't specialists, so we have to put a lot of trust in the teams that are helping us.

I know I'm saying this from a place of none ivf experience, but I know from other things that have happened in life, in hindsight its always easier to spot the issues. just please don't blame yourself. [hug]

Spare, sending you an absolutely massive bear hug. You cannot blame yourself, Clem is right and with hindsight we would probably all do things differently. you definitely have the right questions prepared and I think if you do go for another cycle try the frozen transfer and injectable progesterone. I will be asking the same things at my follow up as last I started bleeding early as well. I wish things weren't like this for you, or for any of us. Fuck this shit as Rain has said.

Rain how are you doing? Did you get a follow up yet?

I've rang the clinic this morning and they've said to keep taking the meds til the blood test on thursday so that they can assess the hormone levels properly, and we can chat about it then. Frustrating isn't the word.

Clem you need I get as many tests done now as the clinic will offer you, including any thyroid etc, and then they should base your first cycle on that, i.e. Long protocol v short protocol and then which type of short. Look at the websites I think Rain suggested for info on the actual clinics and ring them up and see if they will send you their stats/ tell you how long the waiting lists are. Private clinics do some stuff NHS doesn't too.

Sesame does melatonin have a similar effect to vit d do you know? I think I'm going to order omega 3 (I think!) supplements too. What have you decided to take?

Kerrie good luck for your follow up, I totally understand how annoying it is to do everything you've been asked but for it still not to work.

I was thinking about my past treatment last night and I've had 2 x iui and the first IVF all of which I bled early with, and now this one. We've had good fertilisation rates with both IVFs with only one egg from each one not fertilising so applying that a LOT of guess work here to the iuis where I had 3 and 2 follicles respectively, I think that I should have had some fertilisation there too. (I am aware that I can't really ever know that) but it's making me wonder if there are other implantation issues that I'm not aware of. My clinic have never mentioned other tests etc and I don't seem to have any symptoms so it could be down to erm, luck but I wonder whether it's worth any further testing before my last NHS cycle. I really can't afford a private cycle although I am going to do one if I need to. Sorry for rambling, but does anyone have any opinions or advice on this? Not sure where to start to look into anything further really.

X post minx! Yes I think that's where our clinic could improve, sharing results etc rather than just saying everything looks great! I've got better at asking now! keeping everything crossed for you to have no issues and everything be a smooth sailing as possible

spare as everyone else has said you haven't done a single thing wrong. One of the problems (not the right word, but I can't think of a better one) of approaching IVF from a background where you've done a ton of reading up (as Berries always do!) is that it's only to easy to think WE have missed something. As minx said, they're the specialists so try not to beat yourself up over it. Not easy I know and I am totally failing at it myself but I'm hoping repetition might make me start believing it!

minx I am so thrilled for you! Didn't end up as much of a cluster, but one diff is brilliant and it does give everyone else hope!

beaky I hope you and DH are OK. Has the bleeding stopped? Are you going to test again? You are still a bit off OTD and a very lovely lady I know from another thread got a BFN about two days before she got a BFP on OTD - she's now just about ready to give birth! Aside from your low AMH you and DH are unexplained, am I remembering that correctly?

sesame thank you so much for your sage advice! I will be sure to raise all of that with the FC. It's the potential quality issues that worry me most - I am OK with the overall numbers as long as they don't tell us we make shit embryos. Hope you're bearing up OK?

perf good luck at today's appointment, let us know how it goes.

kerrie I wish I could answer that for you. Like so many other wise berries have said, it's a numbers game as much as anything else so please don't blame yourself. You did everything right. Given your history and the circs this time I'd definitely be asking them about implantation issues and maybe immunes, is that on your list already?

clem you've had some great advice already, I don't have too much else to add really given we're under NHS funding so only had a choice of two. It came down to success rates and location for me.

Feeling a bit weird about IVF right now. I'd assumed beforehand if we got a BFN that we'd want to get straight back in the saddle but instead we booked a massive holiday (to Mexico, as promised!) for late November, which means we won't be cycling again until the new year. Part of me is actually relieved to have a break and give us time to get over this first failure (and maybe do something about egg quality with supplements etc.) but then a massive part is also yelling 'fool! you're just getting older, get on with it!', not to mention the guilt for spending £££ on a holiday when we may well need to finance some private treatment if the next round fails/doesn't produce any frosties.
I feel very mixed up about it.
When I phoned in the BFN on Friday (didn't cry, well done me) they said they'd call some time this week to arrange a follow up. Hopefully that will happen before we go away!
As for this month, back to normal. Like an idiot I bought some CB OPKs - I don't know if it's actually worth using them this cycle tho, I'm guessing everything will be messed up hormone wise anyway?

just had a call from dh...very close family member has just announced they are diffed.

amazing how I can simultaneously feel happy for them/feel devastated for myself/feel guilty for feeling all this.

Ballsy balls crap clem

rain I forgot to say, I think your lining on trigger day also looked good, as above 10mm gives a highest chance of success. And the embryo quality might have just been bad luck. As we unfortunately keep reminding ourselves, IVF is more likely to fail than succeed. Anyway 3-4 months break to let your body and mind recover and a bloody nice holiday in Mexico sounds exactly the right thing to do. Meanwhile, you have your follow up consult, you can take some supplements and keep fit and healthy, and you can also think about your next steps. Anyway, fx for a post IVF diff and you won't need any of this.

Kerrie really sorry things are so shit. When is your follow up consultation? And do you have a list of questions that you want to ask?

clem really sorry about the baby announcement, it totally sucks. Sounds like you are getting to a good place planning some next steps. If you're doing your clomid cycle under a fc, do try and take advantage of any free advice or opportunities to speak to any of the docs. Some good advice here already about how to get started. I found the HFEA website really useful - lots of factsheets and a database of all the clinics. You can access the stats, inspection reports (if you're feeling geeky), lists of which clinics do which treatments etc. If you narrow your choice, look out for open evenings or mini tours and the like. I would also look for a clinic that's well established and does a good number of treatments. Get copies of all your NHS tests. And ask the fc whether there are any tests that you should do prior to treatment (e.g. rubella immunity, HIV/Hepatitis) and see if you can get any of these done for free, e.g. at your GP. Then you might think of forking out for a consultation plus ovarian reserve testing (scan and AMH test). Some clinics may do an initial consult package that includes things like consultation, ORT and semen analysis.

spare really sorry you have to go through all this shit. As the other berries said, don't beat yourself up. The consultants are paid to give you the right advice, we shouldn't have to become experts on all of this crap just to get the treatment we deserve. How the hell were you to know you might have a problem absorbing the progesterone you were prescribed? For FET, you still have to take progesterone to maintain your lining and you didn't have a problem with this before. And you're not the only one bleeding early either. After my first transfer on progesterone only support, af came 12 days post ec, on my second on HCG only support, af came 14 days post ec (1 day before OTD). With no support at all (cancelled cycle), af came 10 days post ec.

beaky Who knows why your treatment failed. It seemed like you had a really good cycle this time, and your age should still be in your favour. Your AMH could be impacting on egg quality. It might be an implantation issue. It might just be bad luck, and you will hopefully get a win next time. Melatonin is a powerful antioxidant. There's not much in the way of evidence that it helps (as with all antioxidants), but there is one promising sounding study where the women took it from the start of stims. Oxidation can damage DNA and mitochondria and makes your cells age. Perhaps nolly can help with a better explanation of why we need antioxidants? Vit D is for Vit D deficiency, which correlates with a lower pregnancy rates. It's also NHS recommendation to take in pregnancy. But if you go outside a little each day, and don't have all your skin covered, you should maintain good levels naturally.

Despite lack of any decent evidence on supplementation, I have finally suspended all of my own natural scepticism. Desperation calls... I've now started taking everything including the kitchen sink: DHEA, CoQ10, Omega 3, Vit C, Vit E, Folic Acid, Vit D, Iron, Vit B complex and Zinc. I think that's it, but I might need to check. Iron is not a fertility supplement, I take it cos I'm vegetarian apart from the bloody fishoil For some reason, I never took prenatal vits, which is another reason why I take the last 5 of these as individual tablets. I've also gone BPA free and phthalate free (as much as is practical).

Sorry again for the mammoth post.

clem it never gets any easier does it. I haven't been bombed for so long now, I am just waiting for the next one - has to be soon.

sesame thats quite the regimen, shake you and you'll rattle! I'm going to add CoQ10 into mine and maybe some Omega 3, and dig out the Sita west nutrition sheets my acu lady gave me. Got a few months to try to live clean apart from all the wine

Clinic called today. We don't actually get a follow up appointment, our consultant is sending us a letter instead! Bit annoyed by that, but I suppose I can still bombard them with questions afterwards. The basic précis of the letter is that next time I'll be on short protocol, still on Menopur but a slightly higher dose. No idea what the theory there is but the aim is to improve egg quality so I'll have to do some reading up.

Hope everyone's ok.

Hello all, and thanks for more welcomes. I wrote a long post on Saturday morning, then realised my ipad was on 2%. Ran to plug it in to charge which only made it laugh and switch off. I had to go out and it's been a busy one since then, but I have been reading.

minx early and quiet congratulations. I have everything crossed for you!

beaky I'm so sorry for your bfn. You don't need to be ok for anyone, it's so bloody unfair. That is interesting about the aspirin, tbh I was a bit clueless as to why I was taking it, but it was something different and I was up for giving anything new a go...

happy I hope it's all systems go for you this time. I found the nhs nurses lovely and supportive, and we felt well cared for. We were a bit disappointed after our follow up after the first go though. We seemed to be getting the blame for wanting to go ahead with a cycle when there had been one or two issues along the way (long story, it was nearly cancelled but I had a good response in the end). We are pretty easy going and weren't upset with them that it hadn't worked, so it seemed a shame that the consultant was quite defensive about it. Overall though, I would say we were looked after well, and I wouldn't hesitate to have another shot with them if it were possible. When this week are you due to start?

barking I am not convinced my hormones aren't messed up either, especially if monstrous acne is anything to go by. I am sorry for the announcement, they take me to a dark place too. How does your dh deal with them?

sesame thanks for the encouraging words about my amh. I am in total denial about what it is now, I am completely with you on not wanting to know.

spare can I echo what everyone else is saying about it not being anything to do with anything you have done. The lack of control with all of this is so difficult to deal with.

clementine oh that is shit. I know the feeling well. I would also add on (for myself) not wanting any sympathy, or for wanting anyone to be 'sensitive' with me but also wanting everyone else to understand how I feel. When I can't explain it myself. I'd also advise not hanging about for ivf if you don't have to.

kuma, smidge and tiger thanks for encouraging words and positive messages about 40+ bfps.

hello to everyone else.

Thank you for asking about the appointment today; it was all a bit sad really. My self-diagnosed duff eggs were confirmed. Although all collected last time had fertilised, the quality wasn't there, and it's likely that the two put back stopped developing normally pretty quickly. We were basically (but gently) told that we have a less than 10% chance of success with ivf using my eggs. That leaves us having to think about whether it's worth having one last try with these duffers, and changing my protocol slightly or putting what we have already paid (for our second cycle) towards a donor egg cycle. I can't say I didn't see this coming, but it still feels pretty shit. Apparently the clinic think there are still some good eggs in there, but my theory is that they clearly manage to bugger off before I can get the syringe in the vial... So we are now hoping that some miracle happens and we catch a golden egg naturally. I feel bad that I'm not really helping with positivity for the 40+ers, but the fact that we've been trying since I was 36 means I probably had crap eggs then.

rain if it helps, we are going away soon on an 'up yours, universe' long haul holiday. We booked it the day after the last ivf failed. We had all of the doubts you mention about wasting time, money etc., but life is bloody short and I was feeling sad that so much of our married life so far has been spent feeling sad. Now I guess we'll have plenty of chance to think and talk about what we want to do over the next fortnight. But in the sun, and gripping a glass of something strong!

elise and rain holiday therapy sounds great to me. I say make the most of it. I can empathise with your comment about so much of married life to date having being sad. It's the same over here. Just not what we were expecting at all. What happened to our plans and excitement for the future?

minx I'm thrilled at your news. Still positive on the way to OTD so every day is one step closer to actually being allowed to enjoy it!

So sorry beaky and spare. Clusterdiffs suck. They are becoming as rare as that ever elusive 'we stopped trying and then, bam, next month we couldn't believe it'

I still haven't heard back from AliG. Emailed on Monday, popped in on Tuesday, phoned on Thursday, phoned again on Monday - apparently I was put on her 'to call' list but she was in Canberra yesterday where they clearly don't have telephones she's away from the end of this week so she'd better bloody get back to me. Grr.

In other news, I am suffering from a bout of cystitis. First time in about 5 years (though I suffered constantly when I was young). Not happy. How are we meant to try naturally when my bits are on fire and I constantly feel as if I need to pee.

On that note I'm going to have to prise myself off the loo and go and refill my water glass.

gingerly

smidge I feel your pain (literally)...not sure if you saw my post over the weekend, but I currently am having to deal with a coldsore (so no kissing) and (as a clomid side effect) sore down there. so trying to get all romantic is incredibly challenging at the moment (dh doesn't like it when I wince, when he comes near me strange that ). I also had a bout of cystitus out of the blue, about a month ago (no idea what triggered it...like you, used to get it a lot, when I was younger...but not had it for years)...its like ffs.

I sometimes wonder if someone just has a voodoo doll of me out there somewhere...and are just toying with me, for their entertainment

rain/elise holiday sounds like such a good idea (we have kinda not been going anywhere (what feels like for flippin years now), so we can save money (either for a ivf or a baby), just in case. but I think the escape is a good idea for everyone...may need to raise that with dh later.

I also totally get your comments about a lot of married life being sad ( I don't remember signing up for this ) and we feel the same a lot of the time too...funny how things work out isn't it. need to remember not to stop living whilst all of this is going on...

Sesame I'd be interested to know what you take from It Starts With An Egg. I haven't read it, and kind of feel like I've left it too late, I don't want to learn something new and then kick myself for not doing it previously before all the failed cycles and mcs. Proper head in the sand behaviour

Has anyone else desperately ordered the Robert Winston book?

spare you've done absolutely nothing wrong, the experts are supposed to be the experts, they should be the ones telling us what to do and convincing us they know what they are talking about - it shouldn't be down to us to do the research.

beaky it might be worth looking at nk cells testing if that's something you're interested in?

rain have they booked you in for a follow up yet? When I called for my bfn result I said I didn't want to see the consultant, but now I have questions, so I called for an appointment and managed by some miracle to get a cancellation on Monday.

clem sorry about the differ announcement

perfect my dh is really hit by the announcements as well now. Didn't used to be. He even gets annoyed at announcements on tv, telling them to fuck off then switching channels .
I'm also suffering from hormone related acne. Always did, but the pill kept it under control. Now I've had it for 4 years it's starting to scar and really affects my confidence. This shit just keeps on giving .
Sorry about your appointment, that really is shit . What you said about spending married life sad really struck a chord with me. When I was sobbing on dh half way round a bike ride at the weekend I just thought - this isn't fair, it's just not fair on either of us living with ttc and failure hanging over us all the time - it wasn't supposed to be like this!!! I like your up yours universe holiday - considering something similar for over xmas .

smidge I feel your pain. It's our 6 year anniversary today and having taken antibiotics for a UTI last week I'm now applying Canestan... Not exactly putting me in the mood!

rain yes, I definitely rattle. And that amount of pills is not easy to take either... I need to work on my diet too, I thought I was doing ok, but I've put on a stone with all the treatment over the past year and I'm struggling to get rid of it. It's rubbish that you don't get a follow up appointment, but certainly bombard them with questions if you can. Trying out short protocol next time sounds good - at least they acknowledge that it's worth trying something different and not put all the blame on the person going through treatment which is my experience.

perfect if I had a penny every time a consultant told me I had crap eggs... I would probably have enough for another round of IVF. What are your thoughts about using donor eggs? I think about it a hell of a lot, but I still can't bring myself to choose that path while I still think I have a chance of having my own biological child. As for success rates, well who knows really... I was told 25% before my first cycle, 1-2% after my second, and then 20% after my mc in April. And since then I've had 2 cancelled cycles where they haven't even been able to get any eggs at all... Really glad you have your holiday to look forward too, that's a great idea!

smidge Really sorry that you'e having such trouble with your clinic, again. And hope your cystitis buggers off soon!

clem hope your dh comes round to the idea of booking a nice getaway. I've been putting everything into the treatment pot myself, but I def need to do more to try and live my life too.

barking Glad you've managed to get a follow up appt in so quick. I also get horrible hormonal spots and horrible treatment related spots, you have my sympathy. I'll def get back to you about it starts with an egg - I think I probably had similar reasons to you for not reading it any earlier. Thanks, I didn't know about the Robert Winston book.

So I've been thinking a lot about my next steps. I was wondering after my cancellation if I could ask my fc if they would let me start a new cycle as soon as af arrives next week. But my follow up appointment isn't for another week, so that wouldn't give me much of a chance to talk things through beforehand. Also, an extra 4 weeks could perhaps give a bit more time for the supplements to work even though I still don't believe in them. I'm also still not entirely decided about my next move. If I go straight into another IVF round, then I'm going to switch to short antagonist protocol. My clinic don't recommend this, but they'll do it. But I also keep thinking about IUI. I never got a chance to try IUI, as because of my crappy AMH I was advised to go straight for IVF. And my current doc also advises strongly against. But I can't help thinking, if I'm now only getting 1-2 eggs each time, and the clinic aren't even able to pull them out of me, that maybe I would be better off trying something more natural. Anyway, I won't be able to try any of these things until the af after next, which gives me a bit of breathing space. So to keep me going meantime, I have just signed up for my first ever 10k, first ever anything race in fact, in less than 3 weeks time! That's one way to get a bit healthier I suppose...?

minx that's great news! congratulations lovely. FX for a very dull pregnancy for you. Keep us posted tho

6 yrs barking? wow. That is so tough.

beaky massive hug for you and spare.

sesame a flying visit but I'll have a look at your posts properly tomorrow if I get a chance x

sesame I love that I'm not the only one who signs up for silly things after bad news . What distance are you up to?
I agree with your theory on iui. I got a bfp on iui and ivf failed for me.

Nolly 6 years together, not ttc (that's coming up to 4 years).