Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Spare I really hope it's not and its just a blip. Big hug for this super shit time.

How are you feeling Sesame?

beaky am ok just now thanks, have spent evening downloading all of this shit to my bestie. Therapeutic stuff... How about you? Are you still spotting? Have you decided whether to test early?

It's so nice to have a friend like that Sesame! I wish I was more open sometimes.

Bfn for me this morning

beaky noooo! So so sorry! Not fair!!! How many dpo/dpt are you? Is it worth holding out for a couple more days/otd?

Thanks Sesame It's 10dp3dt so it should be quote conclusive on an frer, but my clinic blood test is Thursday. I suppose there's a very slim chance but it's unlikely. I'm ok, I mean I'm not but I am if you know what I mean?!

Oh beaky
This cluster is crap so far

beaky I'm so sorry. If you've done a frer I think there is probably just an outside chance at this stage.... I feel like I should say hold onto that bit of hope, but I'm not sure I would do the same. I know what you mean about being ok, bad news like this is easier to take if you've been there before.... I'm gutted for you both, hope you're looking after each other.

Sorry I've been awol a few days, struggling on my phone without the app, and have been having a very dark time since a good friend announced she was 12 weeks pg which tipped me over an edge I didn't realise I was balancing on .

kuma glad they've gone for the freezing option so you don't have to wait. Hope you've having a lovely weekend

spare/rain/beaky thinking of all of you . spare/beaky I'm still holding out hope that it's not over yet.

sesame/minx I've had the blood tests and I see the consultant for the results on 9th October. Feels like ages away! I need to keep making notes of any other questions that come to me in the meantime...

kerrie I think it's great that your dh is open to using donor sperm. You've not reached the end of the road yet .

smidge is this a permanent (for the foreseeable anyway) move back to England? How exciting! Grr for the secretary, how do people like this stay in their jobs?

perfect welcome, we started trying around the same time as you, came off the pill in Dec 2011. Unexplained here as well, but I suspect it's my messed up hormones (late ov, short lp).

clem if there's no evidence you're not ovulating and it hasn't worked on 3 goes I wouldn't be taking any more. Clomid can make you release more eggs, which is a waste if it's not going to work.

Oh beaky. I could cry wipes a tear away I felt so hopeful for you. Keeping everything crossed there is still a chance. Thinking of you and sending a lot of love.

I hate this shit. FACT.

Just popping in quickly to say Beaky I'm absolutely gutted for you my lovely . This is all beyond shit. Spare/Rain thinking of you . Minx hope you're hanging in there. Will be back later to catch up properly.

Really sorry to hear that Beaky.

Thanks berries. Turns out I'm not really ok! Burst into tears about a dog I don't even know earlier on.
I've found it much harder this time that the first, I think it's because I didn't really think I had a chance the first time, but this time I did as everything had gone so much better.

So sorry Beaky and Spare.

oh no. beaky spare. sad times today. Thinking of you both and hoping against hope. Sorry if that's not helpful. So shitty.

Oh Minx, that is great news!
Glad that someone is flying the flag for us this month!
Are you going to test again in the week?

Minx that's brilliant news! I'm so pleased someone got a bfp! Congratulations lovely how do you feel? Did you feel any differently or totally normal? Please don't feel sheepish, it's great news!

Thanks everyone for your kind words, I burst into tears again reading them! Ha. I just need to regroup I think and will ring the clinic tomorrow anyway about the early bleeding as I'm on 400mg of progesterone 3 times a day. My blood test is Thursday. Dh was visibly gutted which threw me a bit and I don't know if that made me feel a bit worse. Poor thing!

minx amazing news, I'm so happy for you both! Fingers crossed for getting through the next few days and weeks nice and safe. And thanks for bringing us berries a first diff for this thread. It's good to still have some hope!

beaky I'm still so sorry. Cry it out hon. We're here for you when you need us.

It's the best of times and the worst of times at the moment in Berry hq.

Congratulations minx I'm so very happy for you! Will be keeping everything crossed for you to get through these early weeks. Don't feel sheepish - we are here for those amazing good times as well as the tough ones.

beaky my dear, you don't have to be alright just now. You can be sad, angry, cry - whatever you need, and we are here for you. Much love xx

rain, spare thinking of you both too.

In fact, I'm thinking of you all and how unfair it is that we have to go through this shit, but also how hugely grateful I am that I found the berries . #berrylove

Tiger yes, I couldn't cope without you lovely lovely berries. #berrylove here's to you all

Ah Minx fantabulous news! Thrilled for you!
Beaky as others have said it's absolutely fine (and completely normal) not to be ok. Shout, scream, cry and drink as much real Champagne as you need. Sending big hugs

Very cautious Minx.

rain this post is for you
I'm not sure how much help this will be, but I said I would try to comment on your stats. You had a good number of even sized follicles, which suggests you responded ok to long protocol and stimulation etc.. I think the clinic would probably tell you that this is what they expected to see. Out of your follicles, some of them look on the small side and a couple on the big side, which means not all these follicles were likely to release an egg. This is probably as expected too. It depends on the clinic and how they target the follicle size for collection. I suspect that the 2 24s might could be a little post mature. My clinic likes to see follicles 16mm and above before taking the trigger (others will differ). But I've had follicles measuring 14 and 15mm release an egg in the past. You had 8 follicles in total at 14mm to 21mm (5 were 16mm and above), so 7 eggs is probably a good number to come away with. I think it's worth asking fc why you didn't get more though, e.g. if they noticed anything unusual, or if ec went as expected.

4 out of 7 fertilised is ok, it's pretty average (they should expect about two thirds to fertilize). The fc are likely to say this went as expected too. Yes, definitely ask what happened to the 3 left behind, e.g. immature/over mature suspected or abnormal fertilization. Also, I think it's worth asking if they think you might get a better fertilization if you went with ICSI next time. Some clinics don't recommend using ICSI for anything other than male factor, as it carries some very small extra risks. But ICSI got me a double embryo transfer in the cycle immediately following an IVF one that was cancelled due to total fertilization failure.

In terms of how your embryos developed, there's lots of chat here about supplements etc. which could help with quality. You might ask whether it they think this might be due egg quality, sperm quality, or both (or just don't know). You can ask the clinic more about the embryo grading and how that translates into success rates. I think there's only ever going to be a very loose correlation. The biggest single predictor of embryo quality is age, not embryo grading. I've had 3 beautiful embryos transferred over 2 cycles and got bfn, and it was the lower scoring one got me a bfp. Fascinating to see your embies, I've never had anything like this although I do have a photo of my womble with a transfer catheter sticking out of it stashed away from my first cycle. Hope you're doing okay?

beaky there's no reason you should be okay, this is SHIT. Do whatever you need to do this week to be kind to yourself.

minx congrats Remind me, what dp?dt are you? definitely not collecting data on how early you can get a bfp
I can't speed up my appointment as the test results might take 4 weeks to come back anyway.