Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Antonia there's so much to read on there isn't there!

I thought this would be of interest to a few berries - his opinions on embryo glue, DHEA and the scratch...

barking
Thanks so much for the link. Between his opinion on Embryo glue and IMSI (which I'm sort-of applying to PICSI), it looks like we wasted a grand on gimmicks with the last cycle. Grrrr
I'm taking a lot of comfort in the last sentence - if you've had a bfp before, you are more likely to have another one. Will cling on to that for the next few months...

I've been on uni overdrive trying to get assignments finished inbetween procrastinating by making jam.

Sesame Antonia I'm envious of people that do yoga well. I get too frustrated with the slowness, end up hyperventilating with the deep breathing and I'm worried I'll fart then slip during a downward facing dog and land on my face.

Barking thanks for the link. My doctor doesn't believe in DHEA but I was willing to try anything. Yay for the Internet as its prescription only here.

Spare I felt the same way during my lap and hsg (the pain omg the pain during the hsg - I found out then that I have a teeny tiny very low cervix. Explains why Pap smears hurt). I know they say no news is good news but at least having something wrong gives you a reason.

ungoogle ahh the medical receptionist. I think they fall into two categories: motherly and bend over backwards for you and evil bitch who are resentful and rude because they feel they have the power.

Hi to everyone else I've missed.

My protocol is the same this time. Gonal-f 175 then orgalutran. Nothing fancy. I got 6 eggs last time and four were usable so the fs is hoping for the same. I was on 125 the first cycle and got 2 usable eggs.

Evening ladybros. Just popping in quickly. It's been the week from hell so have kind of lost track of the thread but promise I'll read back and have a proper catch up on the weekend. We had our inspection Tuesday which went amazingly well but I devoted so much time to it that I'm now behind with everything else

In other news its day 36 in the Happy house and still no sign of bloody AF. I POAS last weekend - BFN of course but at least it stops the total mindfuck. I may give the clinic a ring tomorrow though I'm sure they'll just say hang in there. I actually don't want it to front up at the moment as DH is away for work on the weekend and I'm tagging along. The hotel has a lovely spa and could really do with some R & R.... Thanks to all that asked after me. Hope everyone is ok. Much love x

Hi Berries,

Wow, Prof Winston is an amazing man. That website is great, I've had a good read. I was born the same year as the first IVF baby, and in some ways I feel like I've always been heading down this path. Prof Winston is an inspiration.

spare I'm sorry to hear you're feeling shit. I understand the need to dip out of here now and then. I used to be on the JSing thread, and it was a great source of support, but it did mean that I was thinking about ttc way too often and I had to leave the thread. It's shit, shit, SHIT this situation we're in.

Antonia hope your recovery is going ok and you're not doing too much! I've been thinking about trying some yoga to stretch out my glued up insides, but I'm scared of making Terry angry!!

Thank you all for your sympathy over my run in with Gynae Secretary Dragon. I have written a complaint to the hospital - mainly because I just want some clarification on my case, but also because I know that the complaints dept are very good (have had the misfortune of having to deal with them before) and once my issue is logged it's on a time-tracked response deadline... still waiting for a reply though... grrrr. If I get nowhere, my Mum has offered to come to my next appointment with me. She's an ex nurse and won't take any shit!

Can I ask everyone what their approaches have been to telling people about your fertility treatment / IVF? I was pondering it today, because I'm usually an open book (bit of an over shearer if I'm honest), and my friends know everything. But I've been reading that it can be stressful if friends know when you're undergoing IVF because they're all expecting news... does anyone have any advice on how honest to be with people? Did you tell work?? I've no idea how to approach it.

Hope everyone else is ok, the weekend is nearly here

I tell everyone about IVF. I think of it as educational. The more people that understand that infertility is a disease and that IVF is not just for those wanting to freeze their eggs to have a career first or same sex couples. I don't think of it as having a baby I think of it as having treatment to fix a disease that's stopping me from conceiving.

I have told a few friends now, google but only those that would bring up TTC if I didn't. I only told one friend the IVF details during treatment (to everyone else I vanished for 2 months!) because I needed support - that was my best mate and life long friend who knows exactly how to respond to all this shit in just the right way. Family etc would have been too much pressure.

grin jam making is a great way to procrastinate! What flavour?

Glad to hear you survived inspection happy. Enjoy your spa and r&r time!

Sorry things feel so tough at the moment spare. I remember having the same sort of feelings about my lap and hysteroscopy - all clear and I'm still left wondering what the bloody hell is wrong with me.

Barking cheers for the link - must do some reading up!

Waves to everyone else. Sorry to not catch up properly. Have literally just developed a full blown cold on the train home and feel like crap! Great!

Waves yo yo ladybros. I'm away this weekend so it's much more difficult to check in. Anyway Tiger nice to see you! Hope the dress shopping is going well. Have you got everything else organised yet? I'm so excited for you

Barking yes, thanks for the links! I bought is your body baby friendly and am trying to read it discretely when I get the chance. The intro me cry! Does anyone know if you can get immunes testing from a clinic you're not with? I think your follow up sounded really positive.

Sesame are you going ahead this cycle then?

Spare totally understand. I think so much of you guys but sometimes I need ttc not to be at the front of my thoughts.

Ungoogs it's funny you say that, my dh has said a few times that he always felt that we would end up having IVF. Re telling people, I am a super closed book all the time. You guys probably know more about me than anyone! I haven't told anyone about IVF but I do intend to after this period is "concluded"

Minx how are you doing? Any symptoms? Sickness etc? I'm at MT next Wednesday for the follow up.

Grin how's the assignments going?

Ant hope you're recovering well and sorry about the painful af, I totally identify with that.

Happy sorry there was no ironidiff. I was hopeful as it's about time. Glad your assessments have gone well, it is not an easy job you do.

Sorry if I've missed anyone, the father in law is telling stories of a man who gets all sorts of women pg (on to his 5th apparently) ffs!

Hope everyone else is ok anyway! and all round

Hey Ladybros, mind if I join you? Here's my stats (hope I pass your entry requirements!)

I'm 35, being ttc since December 2013. MC Sept 2014 @ 11 wks, March 2015 MC @ 4 wks. Heterozygous (carrier) for Factor V Leiden.

Am currently feeling very fed up as the 1 year anniversary of first MC has hit me like a train and I am literally surrounded by pregnant women at work. Am currently dreading well meaning but oblivious people asking me if I'll be next , and worried I'll either burst into tears or tell them to F#$! off. Not a cool thing to do in an open plan office .

Hi Mimi

I'm new here too, everyone has been lovely. Sorry to hear about your MCs. I too dreaded the 'Ooh your turn next' comments, but they never came. Perhaps because people know I've had some gynae issues so they're sensitive. But generally I think people are more aware these days.

My stock, prepared answer if the question ever comes will be "Nah, I have a great life as it is thanks", or if I'm feeling honest "I'm having some problems in that department, I'd rather not talk about it thanks".

Hope everyone else is ok today. Weekend nearly here and the weather is turning fab!

Hi UnGoogleable,

Thanks for the welcome. Hopefully I work with peeps as enlightened as your colleagues. And roll on the weekend .

Hi Mimi welcome, sorry to hear about the mcs and the shit you've been through. Our ladybros are definitely the best around for support and laughs during this crap. What are you thinking of doing treatment wise, if you don't mind me asking?

Welcome mimi. Sorry to hear you've been through such a miserable time but you'll find lots of support here. I think we have three berries with the same diagnosis at the moment.

I said I had a headache yesterday and someone asked if it was morning sickness! Wtf! People can't help themselves. Now I'm paranoid that the 5lb I've put on recently makes me look pg!!

Hope you have a lovely weekend away beaky! Still trying to sort and finalise the venue - have three choices and just looking at quotes/dates to see which one comes out best!

Grin I yoga adequately, not too sure about well! I am the youngest person in my yoga class too and every week I am put to shame, TO SHAME, by Betty who is my yoga neighbour. She's 83 and goes into a downward dog with such ease! I asked her how long shes been doing yoga for and she told me she started 20 years ago. She was in her 60's! She also has a tendency to let out little trumps when she bends and I really have to bite my lip not to giggle too loud. I took up yoga because I was diagnosed with depression from all this ttc business. It's 2 hours every week of relaxing my head, having a stretch and a workout and a good old natter. The depression has gone for now and I'm finding it easier

Minx Hope you're well! If I don't get anywhere with a cancellation slot, I'll remember to ask Tiger for advice, thank you!

Barking I didn't even know there was a book called Essential Fertility Guide written by him! I downloaded it to my Kindle late last night for £4 and started reading it. Hoping that understanding the whole thing a bit better will help me feel a bit more confident and know what to expect.

Google Only a handful of people (mum and brothers included) know what I've been doing. My manager knows as well and she's been brilliant, very understanding. I'm now at a point if anyone asks me about babies, I'd say what you said; 'having problems in that area' and then see how it goes from there. My SO has only told his dad and his manager. He says he's not fussed if people know but rather keep it away from people at his work place. He said he feels guilty that I'm having to have all these invasive procedures and all he's had to do up until now is go the appointments with me and provide a pot o' sperm, so keeping quiet about it helps him I guess.

Beaky My recovery is going well thank you, I'm still taking it easy. The af pain isn't quite so terrible today so hoping it's going to be done and dusted very soon. Hope you're doing alright

Mimi Hello and sorry to hear about the shit time you're having. Put your feet up and have a cake and a brew with us

Hope you're all having an easy Friday, the weekend is just around the corner. No drinking for me until after I've finished these antibiotics though. Please have a glass for me those of you who will be having a couple

Spare I clung on to that last sentence as well. I've been pregnant twice, surely my body should be able to manage it one last time, but hold onto it this time...
I'm not sure about the embryo glue, it seems to be the one thing all clinics are using. On the basis that my anti-anything-not-definitely-proved consultant did the embryo glue as standard in his nhs clinic, there's no way I'm skipping that bit when we go private!

grin sounds like you respond well to stims then, they put me on 300 gonal f due to low reserve. I was on 75 for the iui. No gonal f for me next time, joining the delights of the long protocol and faffy needles .

Congrats on the inspection happy, hope you're getting some well deserved r&r now, regardless of whether the witch has turned up.

Google I'm an aggressive over sharer. It's like attack as the first line of defence
Friends, family, colleagues all know about the miscarriages, the infertility and the ivf.
If anyone asks they get a lot more detail than they probably wanted. If they don't like it they shouldn't have asked. I figure it might make them think twice about asking someone else who might not be in a good place at the time.

beaky some clinics will, some won't. I looked into it when doing my research.

mimi have we 'met' before? Possibly on a mc thread?
I'm another factor V leiden, you're in good company, there are a few of us!

tiger what?! Headache = pg?! I loved all the wedding planning. Kept me busy and got me through the first mc.

antonia damn, didn't know it was going to be released on Kindle later! I pre ordered.
I've done one course of yoga, I was shit. I have zero flexibility. I've signed myself and DH up to a yoga day tomorrow though. A 2.5 hour energising session in the morning, a mindfulness session, a veggie lunch and then a more relaxing yoga session in the morning. Saw a last minute deal and booked it a couple of days ago. I've not been coping since one of my last remaining childless friends announced she was pg, so I figured it was worth a try. It's Saturday morning and I woke up at 5am. Been knackered all week, run down, feeling depressed, and like I'm fighting something off. Was really looking forward to Saturday morning lie in but seems that plan has been stamped with a big F you.
Got the work 'summer party' this afternoon. A bbq all afternoon, family invited. This means all the people in my team will be bringing their kids to meet me. I can't tell you how much I am not looking forward to this. It's Saturday. I strongly object to doing anything work related at the wkd, this was the reason for leaving teaching! It might be a 'social' but I wouldn't choose to go, I feel obliged. At least I'm dragging dh with me .

On the plus side, I had a really good counselling session at the clinic yesterday (the old one) after the consultant strongly suggested I see the head counsellor. She was brilliant. Did anyone else know that Emma Thompson had been through Ivf and has apparently written about it? The counsellor said it was very well written. She also recommended 'Conquering Fertility' which she warned me was American and the treatments were out of date, but the emotional support, understanding and strategies in there were great. I've ordered a copy.

Hi beaky, I've telling anyone who asks what my treatmwnt plan is so really don't mind sharing. My consultant has put me on 5mg Folic Acid and Progesterone Pessaries between OV and AF. I've got an appointment in a few weeks to discuss the results of my scan (no ones mentioned I have wierd shaped hoo-haa so far) and whether they'll put me on Heparin injections once I get my BFP. I've inherited one faulty gene rather than the pair so there's some weighing up to do as to whether the treatment risks are worth it. I did start taking baby aspirin after my GP tested me for it but the consultant said the evidence is suggesting that it could do more harm then good now, but that advice is quite new and he said he was prescribing it only a year ago. DH's had his swimmers checked out and they're ok .

tigerdog thanks for the welcome and well done for not slapping that person, that would make me so !

Antonia thanks for and . I've started doing a pilates and yoga class and am pretty terrible at it but do it for how I feel afterwards rather than how I do in it. Also I'm so busy trying not to land on my face that it stops me thinking about all of this for an hour.

barking Yes, I think we have 'met' before, I've lurked on the recurrent miscarriage or ttc after mc threads. Have you inherited a pair of Factor V Leiden genes or do you have one faulty gene like me? If you don't mind me asking what's your treatment plan?

Hope everyone's got a lovely weekend ahead of them!

Just sticking my head in to say hi! I'm loving the new app so will be catching up and posting more often again!

I've had a tiny, tiny bit of pinky brown blood yesterday on wiping and feel like af is going to arrive but no show yet. It's day 5 since stopping northisterone so I'm sure it will show up late. Just want to get started again now!

Emma Thompson talking on desert island discs

Mimi I don't know what my next treatment plan will be. First ivf I was on aspirin from cd1 and going to be on heparin if I got a bfp (I didn't) and in the frozen cycle there was no aspirin and I was on heparin from the day before transfer up until otd. Next cycle is a different clinic and we'll be talking through the options on the 9th October when I go in for the results of my immune tests. As per bloody usual there is no consistency and no one can tell me what the best option is. I've spoken to three consultants and each one has contradicted the last. not wound up by this at all

Aw minx definitely stick around. These few weeks must be nerve-wracking but everything is looking good so far. 5th Oct (you do mean Oct don't you?!) is only a week Monday - everything crossed till then. We'll miss you! I've also got the lurgy, I was awake half the night not able to breath. DP is being very unsympathetic! In fact he is being a total ARSE. Grrr.

Hi lucie! Hope you can get underway asap. Waiting is the pits.

I'm not having much joy on the cancellation front at the mo antonia. Have you had any luck? Are you feeling recovered. My next appointment is 19 Nov. Am attending the mandatory group session next month and DP will register and redo his spaff test in the meantime but I just want to crack on! Given the timing of my cycles, I suspect I won't be able to start ivf until Jan, which coincides with my busiest period at work.

I love yoga but I have gotten out of the habit in the last couple of months. I used to go a couple of times a week - need to get back into it.

mimi it was a half joke because another lady at work who was blatantly pregnant didn't tell anyone at all until she was 29 weeks. It was obvious quite some time before that, and people were all wondering if she was or not!

spare, barking I think you are right to hold onto that. It might be scant comfort (and we've all had the well meaning 'at least you can get pg' comments) but there is hope.

Hope the work party was ok barking. I hate feeling like a spare part at those things - everyone else running around after their kid and not able to chat. We had friends and their lovely 18 month old over for lunch. She really is a perfect little person - so much fun and endlessly curious and chatty. Defintely a child who makes it look easy and fun. Makes me sad though that we aren't doing this together - we started ttc at the same time.

I feel rotten. Shivery and no appetite, and very heavy head, and DP seems cross with me for being ill and no fun. I hope he gets it just as I am about to go to London for the week - he's been making enough of a fuss if I even breathe in his vague direction!

Sofa and crap tv for me tonight. Might think some more about wedding stuff....although I think Mr T needs reminding: in sickness as well as in health

For those that love a wedding dress...,

....I want one from here!
www.minna.co.uk/shop/bridal-dresses

Hello folks, and welcome to the newbies.

I've just been away in Melbourne for a few days - other half was there for work so I tagged along to make the most of free hotel accommodation (I love hotels) and an actual bath. (I love baths even more and am endlessly disappointed that our apartment only has a shower )

Anyway, I had my day 21 blood test while there, which showed I had ovulated and can start downregging. I started the synarel this morning. It's horrible!! Give me needles any day. I hope the stuff gets absorbed pretty much immediately on impact, coz I started sneezing and couldn't stop! Nose running, stuff going down the back of my throat, and sneezing sneezing sneezing! Is this normal? Does it get any better, or should I worry I won't absorb the stuff?!

Ah well. Fifth time at this and still finding something to worry about!

I think I've decided this is going to be our last attempt. And I actually think I'm feeling ok about it. at the moment We're supposed to be meeting an embryologist tomorrow to discuss the PGD testing. We're still a bit meh about it. What's the actual point? Especially if this is our last attempt. It costs $950 per embryo!!! Plus the $770 freezing fee (which I haven't checked if it's per embryo or not). Maybe I'll have this discussion with the scientist tomorrow.

spare I totally understand wanting the lap to show something. Then they could fix it! I hate being in this unexplained limbo land. (She says, having just claimed there to be no point in the PGD testing - but it's still pointless coz the stats of chromosomally normal (at my age) are so low that finding 2 out of 2 blastos are abnormal doesn't tell you anything or help with further treatment choices).

Afternoon everyone. How are we all today?

Smidge I have never been to Melbourne. I have seen more of the UK then I have Australia.
I would think the freezing fee would be for all of them. $770 each is a bit dramatic.

Minx Jam making is my hobby since there is not much else to do where I live. Ive started a little stall at the markets just for some pocket money. It is also good procrastination for when I don't feel like studying. I've gone back to uni. I am studying nursing. Ive jumped ship from paramedicine as nursing pays more. What was your Masters in?

Barking I guess I am happy with the short protocol as the long one would drive me bonkers. Id just like more eggs for them to play with that's all.

Tiger Well done on being organised. I organised my wedding in three months as I had to fit it into already booked annual leave. A word of advice....you need at least six months to get the dress you want. Three months over Christmas, New Year, Thanksgiving, Chinese New Year etc means that you have to buy off the rack and take the dress that fits. That was my hard earned lesson. Oh and ebay. I bought basically everything online or from ebay and AliExpress and saved about $AUS10 000.

Lucie I hope you are having a lovely relaxing weekend.

While I am here a bit of a TMI question. I have been on the pill to time the next cycle. We had to push the cycle back a few times due to all sorts of issues. I didnt think about the pill and just kept on as I normally do. Except I forgot to have my last period and I am now up to three months without a period and have really bad spotting (more a very light period). Do you think this is going to ruin the cycle? I dont start drugs until the 10th or so of October.