Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Hello Berries. Just ducking in to say welcome to the new Berry-lings! I hope your stays are short!

Not posting much at the moment but I am lurking and reading. Turns out for all my bravado earlier this month I'm finding the fall out period post IVF a bit harder than I'd assumed it would be (not helped by our clinic manager calling to say I didn't need a follow up as they had nothing else to add to the scant info in our letter, plus basically saying it's all 'witchcraft and magic' anyway and if we have crap eggs/embies there's nothing they can do). Going to focus on just being for the next couple of months I think, but will be reading along to see how everyone gets on.

tiger those dresses are gorgeous!

rain I'm not surprised. Big hugs xx It's such a gutting experience. I found the raw upset straight afterwards easier in some ways, compared with the grinding tediousness of getting back on the treatment and ttc bandwagon afterwards and being stuck in limbo without answers.

Minx I like Johanna or India maybe, I actually love almost all of them.

Grin I've got 6 months. I will probably buy off the peg or second hand as I'm not having a princessy type dress. Current dilemma is venue - urban or countryside. Have got three places provisionally on hold but struggling to make a final decision!

smidge have you had any more thoughts about pdg? I can see why you might not be keen -the cost coupled with the fact it doesn't seem like it would change anything would make me think twice.

Found out why Mr T was being an arse. The last three weekends have revolved around our friends children. This has made him feel very sad. Of course this only comes out after he gets grumpy over the laundry and my having a cold! He needs a mumsnet type group - but refuses to talk to anyone!

Hope everyone else has had a good weekend.

barking, thanks for sharing that link. He’s very anti supplement, isn’t he? At least he doesn’t say they do any harm, so I will stick with my current supplement load at least for now. Interesting what he says about glue. My clinic also don’t think much of it. The manufacturer’s website which is not at all biased obviously talks about it working not as a glue, but a substance which replicates the chemicals naturally found in the fallopian tube, that are supposed to be better for an embryo than culture medium, when deposited in the womb. But for me, it is so bloody difficult to get an embryo in the first place, I think I’d try anything that might increase the chance of a competent embryo implanting, even if the margins are just a few percentage points. Did you survive this bbq? And how was the day of yoga?

spare and barking the previous pregnancy thing is about the only thing keeping me going at the moment. Although it’s possible I am selectively listening to all the positives, and sticking my fingers in my ears for all the negatives like RW’s opinion on BMI

grin, I do yoga, I never said I do yoga well, I am not very flexible and usually have to do the easier versions of lots of the standard poses. Like antonia I do think it’s one of the things that’s helped me get through the last couple of years though. And I generally get to switch off in class except for when there are pg yogis/teachers, and randomly sharing a class with one of the clinician’s who’s looked up my foof...

happy hope you had a nice weekend and af stayed away long enough to enjoy the hotel and the spa?

googs, I’ve told exactly three people about my treatment, one is my bestie, who is single with no kids who’s also a scientist, so quite happy to listen to all the ins and outs about treatment. Another has gone through a couple of pregnancy losses herself and understands emotionally where I’m coming from. I keep a bit of distance from family over this type of stuff – I do know they would be supportive if I had a successful pregnancy but I just couldn’t cope with them getting involved at this stage.

beaky, good luck with your follow up appointment. Sorry about the tactless stories from your inlaws. Hope you got to enjoy your weekend?

mimi hello and welcome, sorry you’ve been having such a hard time, but there are a good bunch of ladybros here.

antonia loved the story of 80yo Betty! how are you feeling?

lucie hiya, is that you started your new banking cycle now?

minx, hope you shake of that lurgy soon, that scan is coming around quick! , please do hang here, it's so nice to hear your good news.

tiger, really sorry you are sick, and what a shame about Mr T, but at least you got to the bottom of it. Those are beautiful dresses , and I’m impressed that some of them might even have a little extra space to fit a growing bump...

smidge, sorry about the nasty drugs. RW has also written a piece about PGD which you might like to consider. He says it comes down to the technique they use for the testing. The alternative to testing I think is to put the embryos back 2 at a time, and let your body do the sorting. I’m not sure that is any less successful if you work it out as ‘per embryo’ rather than ‘per transfer’, but it’s also possibly a lot to go through?

rain sorry things are so tough , it’s a horrible place to be, and it’s mean of your clinic not to let you at least have the closure that a follow up consultation will bring.

Well I’ve been having a bit of my own pity party this weekend. Also it looks like I’ve probably already ovulated on my current cycle, on a stupidly early day 7, so I haven’t got long to go now before treatment begins, and not much time to organise everything in advance either. minx andbeaky I think I will go ahead with the IVF antagonist cycle on my next period, so I will need to let the clinic know. Tiger, you asked whether I stick with my current clinic. Location and cost are big factors, and also reading all those RW Q&As is telling me I’ve spent a lot of time investing in my current clinic and vice versa, and now at least I am getting somewhere with my treatment being more personalised. There’s stuff I wouldn’t be able to do there, like natural cycle or embryo banking. But I think it’s ok to stay on my current path at least for right now.

Hey sesame, yes did my first injection this evening. I'm just on 225iu menopur this time and was so nice to just do the one injection rather than 3 that I was on last time! Exciting that you are nearly ready to start again too!

Just a quick question, I remember a couple of people mentioning on here that it says in the 'it starts with the egg' book that you should stop taking dhea while stimming but I've had another flick through tonight and can't see any mention of it. Is anybody able to point me in the right direction as to where I can find the info on it?

Oh and I forgot, I found this radio programme about ivf earlier. It's from 2009 so some things are a little out of date, and the chances of success are almost certainly over inflated by the clinic. But it's still very interesting and informative.

Yes lucie I remember that too and when I looked I couldn't find a direct reference to it in the book either. I think it's not in the dhea chapter anyway, but poss another chapter later on which talked about the negative impacts of testosterone on the growing follicle?

Hmm I don't know sesame I had a good look through most of the book. The only reference I could find was in the dhea chapter but it talked about a lady actually taking them whilst stimming. I'm just wondering whether to stop them or keep going. Will have to google later.

I'll be interested to gear what you find lucie. I've got my last DHEA tablet to take today and am hoping that's as close to stimming as necessary to make a difference. (Coz i frankly can't be arsed with the palava of getting another prescription for it - AliG doesn't think I'm a suitable candidate so I'd have to get in touch with the prof again, and I'd feel a bit bad using him just for his prescribing powers now that we're not going with his clinic!)

MASSIVE SIGH

I had a Lap with Hyst and Dye at the end of August and was told that I would have a follow up appointment after 6 weeks. As I haven't heard a sausage from the NHS I have been chasing up. I've just managed to get through after trying all morning to be told that the appt is on 1st October - I assume the NHS are saving paper and communicating appointment times telepathically (as I mentioned we didn't have a letter or anything).
Anyway, the appointment isn't even with my consultant, it's been made with someone I've never seen before. I asked if there was a reason and the secretary didn't know. The only thing she did know was that it was pointless seeing this guy as he had no knowledge of who I was.
The next available appointment isn't until the end of November. That's another month delay, on top of the 9 month delay we had because our referral was lost.......which is on top of the other delays we had for....fuck knows, the wind blowing in the wrong direction, the moon being in Jupiter, El - fricking-Nino.
Sorry another rant. The secretary was lovely and it's not her fault, I'm going to call and beg for cancellations religiously. I'm normally pretty zen with bureaucracy but every time I have to call this place it drives me to tears. It's like pushing treacle up hill - I feel like a complete wuss and have to do a deep breathing thingy to stop me crying. Does it have the same effect on everyone else?

Ok I will let you know smidge. I buy mine online from America without prescription.

water what a horrible horrible experience! well done for keeping it together, I would have completely lost my rag. I don't really have any advice except maybe taking leaf from googs and perhaps see if a formal complaints letter to your hospital might possibly help to unstick things?

I've done some research smidge and have asked around and I think I'm going to keep taking the dhea whilst stimming. My doctor recommends stopping at egg collection but seeing as I'm not having a transfer I will keep going until I do. I think it's only while pregnant you are not meant to take it.

Interesting about the DHEA Lucie and Smidge. I took it last time whilst stimming but stopped as soon as I found out I wasn't responding. I know I'm being paranoid but it's literally the only thing I did differently on the cycle that was cancelled. I've never heard of it having a negative impact but I just don't want to take any chances!!
Hi water and other newbies. Sorry to hear about your mix up water. This whole process is so stressful without any added confusion.
Tiger gorgeous dresses - have you made a
decision yet?
Hope everyone else is ok. But quiet in here. Anyone else other than Lucie having/starting treatment soon?
Day 40 in the Happy house and still no sign of fucking AF. FFS!

Morning everyone

Happy Lucy Smidge I ordered my DHEA from the USA as it is prescription only here. I will admit to being bad at taking tablets but it will be interesting to see if it has done anything. I've done some reading and I think I'll continue to take it. It's not as though I can get a worse out one then previously.

Water oh what a drama. I would just keep annoying them and write lots of letters. Hopefully it will be sorted sooner then later.

And I managed to delete half my essay and then post a third.

Oh well hi everyone.

I start my next cycle mud next month with EPU tentatively booked in for the 23rd.

[stands up]

hi, my names clem, and its been 3 weeks, since my last confession , I mean post

this degree assignment, totally kicked my arse, and it just got to the point, where I couldn't even read the posts, let alone post myself...just due to lack of time and focus. I did get it submitted tho, so now have a little breathing space thankfully, before I start to get back into my next assignment.

I've done my best to skim read the past 3 weeks, but blimey a lot to catch up on.

hello to all the newbie's ...sorry you all find yourselves here...hope your stay is short.

tiger big congratulations on the wedding plans (very exciting). to answer your question (from 3 weeks ago), no nearer to any decision about private ivf/clinic choosing, but thats because degree coursework just took over, and I couldn't even think about this. now I have some breathing space, will try to start doing some research. I am midlands based, whats BWH (a FC I assume)?

hi to everyone else, I'll do my best to get upto speed, as we go along, now I'm back in the land of the living.

so I'm currently in the 2WW, absolutely not symptom spotting I have not been wearing out the google search terms starting with "is [insert any word] a symptom of pregnancy" I swear I am a few searches away from asking "is breathing a symptom of pregnancy"

clomid still playing havoc with my skin (spots on my face, eczema in other random places...really doing my head in)...sorry for the tmi, but had a lovely bout of cystitis hit over the weekend, just what I needed. came out of the blue...but thankfully seemed to go quite quickly too.

nothing much else to report...just need to get my arse in gear and start researching local fertility clinic's and supplements too (which I also didn't get a chance to think about in the past month).

Day 41 in the Happy House and oh guess what?!? HATE THIS SHIT!!

tiger hope you're feeling better? Those dresses are gorgeous

smidge my DH has a theory that you should never be more comfortable on holiday than you are in your own home, on the basis that you'll then always be happy to arrive home . This means we always stay in the campervan, or the cheapest alternative accommodation possible. Sometimes I think a touch of luxury would be nice!
How did the meeting with the embryologist go?

Sesame book will be in the post tomorrow. It's all addressed and ready to go. I gave dh another week but he didn't manage to read any more of it. He read the bits that applied to him and to be fair I didn't want him to read the last chapter where he says abstaining from alcohol completely has minimal effect, given I've convinced him we should both be teetotal before the next round and he hasn't had a drink for over a month .

Yoga was okay. I was still feeling a bit meh healthwise, ditto emotionally, so it was probably as much as I could have managed, the alternative being another day on the sofa under a blanket.

raindrops focusing on just being sounds like mindfulness - I would tell you all about how the session was on Sunday but I slept through it. Twice. I can literally tell you nothing.

I managed to survive the bbq, fortunately pg woman 1 didn't show and baby 2 didn't show either. Two surprise bumps did arrive with partners though. One came and sat at our table, so I got up to go to the food buffet and never went back, leaving Dh wondering where I had gone. He hadn't even noticed the bump (about 7-8 months I reckoned) so hadn't put two and two together.

Grin I'm hoping to start at the end of next month, I'll find out next Friday. Epu? Does that mean something different to early pregnancy unit? Around here you'd only end up there due to a potential issue in early pregnancy.

water what a massive ballache. (I love how my phone tried to autocorrect that to Ballachulish!!) Make a nuisance of yourself on the phone. Which reminds me, I need to do the same to chase our notes...

Oh, happy, we seem to have opposite problems. After my cycles settling at 31 days, last cycle was 25 days and I've randomly burst into tears twice today and my skin is awful, indicating that I'm probably due on tomorrow, which would be another 25 day cycle. Craziness. Wondering if it has anything to do with not having any acupuncture since the ivf failure in August.

Oh Happy grrrrrrrrr for you. and a hug.

Clem lol'd at your catholic confessional there... Takes me back to being a child! Fx for your 2ww this time. I'm sure Google will have had the is breathing a symptom!

tiger those dresses are all amazing! So beautiful. Very excited for you. Yes to the men being ostriches - they need to talk this stuff through too but just bury their heads and it comes out towards other things! Doesn't help us though eh.

Water how frustrating. Def get a complaint in.

sesame when do you start this next round? Sorry if you've said the thread is difficult to keep up with.

Berries - advice please! The potential next cycle dates fall over Christmas, with ec the very beginning of January. Do you think It's wise to do a cycle over Christmas? Also any suggested further tests I can ask for at my wtf appointment please?!

happy really sorry about all that shit. Is it possible you ovulated when you got that ewcm? If that's the case than perhaps af will show 14d later? Could you maybe ask your fc to do a hormone check?

clem hey! If you want to drive yourself mental with the symptom spotting, I believe there's a whole thread devoted to the art.... Anyway, nice to see you back here and glad you got your assignment out the road.

grin my tablets live in the middle of the kitchen table these days, the only way I can remember to take the ones that I take with food. There are also night time ones which live in my cosmetic bag so I come across them when I take my make up off.

Looks like we've got a few berries cycling again now, lucie, smidge, happy waiting to for the gates to open.... Anyone else? I'm hoping to get started within the next 2 weeks. I'm waiting for the clinic to call me back so I can get organised.

Unfortunately I read another RW letter right before I went to bed and it was one of those where he pretty much tells the 40 something corresponder she's got nae chance. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep and have been moping around feeling woe is me, I've left it too late, I've wasted my best years, yada yada yada....

Barking when do you get your immunes results? Glad the BBQ wasn't as bad as you thought at least.

Next Friday, beaky.

Ha ha beaky at clem's Catholic confessional... There was me thinking it was along the lines of Alcoholics Anonymous!! woops what does that say about me

The scientist chap was a bit basic, iykwim. Kind of talking to me as if I've never heard of reproduction, let alone IVF, so I was very glad I didn't force MrSmidge to sneak out of work to come along. However, when he finally got to the bit about the testing, it was quite fascinating.

Once they suck out about 5 trifectaderm (?) cells from the hatching blasto, they put it in with enzymes and other solutions that make the DNA reproduce heaps. 'Amplify' was the term he used. Then they dye it red or green.

Then they put the solution in with a pre-fabricated microscope slide, which has 23 perfect chromosomes (boy or girl). They spin the solution so all the double strands of blasto's DNA separate, and then the theory is they find their matching partner on the slide. (There are millions of each on both the slide and in the solution so they can get a statistically correct result). They then use a computer/laser thing that picks up, say red, and plots the results on a graph. The x-axis is each of the 23 chromosomes. On the y -axis is the plot of the dyed strands from our blasto. What you want to see is a wiggly line that goes horizontally all across the full 23 (unless it's a boy/girl in which case you'll see a peak for the x chromo, or a drop in the y chromo coz it's got 2xs or 1 of each iyswim)

What normally happens is you get a dip on the 16th (say) chromosome which means you're missing that one and the blasto won't implant. Or you have a peak above the 17th chromo which means you have 3 of that one, which means you will miscarry by 8 weeks. (Basically they were the two most common problems).

I have no idea if my explanation makes sense! I probably need to draw a pic.

Anyway, statistically at my age he would say only 1 in 3 blastos would be normal. He reiterated that even if I have a few blasts, they might not be able to test - if it hasn't hatched, or if the layer of trifectaderm cells isnt very thick etc. But they still may be ok to freeze.

Suddenly realised when I relayed this to MrS that we'd find out the sex of our blasto if we did the test! Scary! How much more attached would I be to the little embie???

Smidge, I don't think they are allowed to tell you the sex of the embryo before you have transfer as you are not allowed to pre-select boy/girl.

You can find out in some countries but not the UK. Smidge do they tell you where you are? It's an interesting process, embryology must be a fascinating job. Have you started downregging yet?

Lol the catholic confessional and Alcoholics Anonymous! It must be the same for some reason eh!