Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

grin welcome back (although obviously would have been lovely if you'd not had to return!). Loving the new sn!

sesame good luck at the fc today, I hope you work out a good plan with them for the next round. Time slips by like water doesn't it - I measure most things now according to TTC milestones. I just about wrap my head around my new age each birthday before I start thinking 'only got 3 months to get diffed to be a Mum at this age'. Ridiculous.

water ranting is good! I can related to so many of the feelings you have (as can most Berries!). So sorry to hear all the shit you've been going through, but this is a good crowd and hopefully you won't have to stay here long.

antonia how are you feeling? hope you can get back to your usual activities soon.

lucie what are your key dates this go round? I hope you're keeping well!

beaky I've been mostly drunk for the last week! Going to stop that now - I've had my official IVF Failure Pity Party, time to get back to normality.

smidge new plan sounds good! Let's get you off this thread!

tiger did you run? I really need to get back on the fitness wagon, not least to fit into my bikini in November!!

happy how was the glamping? Did AF show up?

Not much to report here. Have wallowed for the last week (although have weirdly not been sad as such, just doings lots of 'fuck this shit' eating and drinking).
Bought some suspiciously cheap high strength ubiquinol from Amazon (verified by an old Berry's clinic as good stuff so it must be OK ) and have ordered DH some Menevit (from Australia!). He has no known MF issues but given our crummy embryo quality, and the reading i've been doing on potential causes for this e.g. sperm DNA fragmentation, I don't see the harm! I'd hoped we'd do our next cycle in Jan but if my cycles get back to normal quickly I think we'll be away for the weekend in Iceland when baseline scan would be, so might not be till Feb .
In the meantime I've decided to book a follow up with our consultant as I want to talk through what they learnt from our first cycle a bit more and also see what their thoughts are about whether we are likely to get anything to freeze this time.
Our NHS funding is for 2 fresh and 2 frozen. Obviously we didn't get anything to freeze this time, and if we have the same again next time that's a waste of two more attempts.

Given the previous cycle's issues were around embryo quality and we therefore might not have any extra embryos that meet their freezing criteria next time, does anyone know if they'd freeze my eggs unfertilised for a FET attempt? Is that something we could ask them to do (if we have enough eggs?)

to everyone I've missed

beaky & sesame I didn't have my gonal f in the fridge the first time, but I did the second time. Another of those mixed messages!

beaky how was your discreet internet shopping?

sesame what time is your appointment? I'm sat waiting for my follow up now...

Grin I think it's important to like the clinic, it's hard enough to believe anyone actually knows what they are talking about as it is!!

Posting in case I get called in and lose where I am...

rain what would be the benefit of freezing eggs not embryos?

I got back from a lovely weekend away to see balloons in the neighbour's window - their 4th child is now 2. They only had 2 children when we started ttc

Smidge There is only so long I can let it keep impacting my actual, existing, current life. Yes, yes, yes.

barking because our embies were a bit shit last time and none of the 'leftovers' made it to freezing quality. My logic is therefore if we get enough eggs to attempt a fresh transfer, could they freeze any surplus so we can at least have a stab at another round with our nhs funding before we start having to pay for everything. Does that make sense?

Sesame and Barking I hope your follow ups go well today and you get some helpful info for a change Barking shit about your neighbour. There's always a crap comparison to be made, for example I remember I was going to a relations "special" birthday party and I thought Oo could be x months pg then, but no, and the person who did announce their pg then has now had a second. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Why is it so fucking hard.

Rain I'd reckon you're more likely to get them to freeze all embryos that fertilise normally rather than eggs, but I don't know if they would want you to have a good reason for a freeze all. By January you may well have much improved embie quality because you're getting a good 3 months of supplements and healthiness etc in which hopefully will make a big difference. It did seem to for me. Are they going to start you off the back of the pill or are you starting on your natural cycle? I'm still having an IVF pity party. Af has turned up at least, so I can get that over with. I just feel so sad/miserable generally.

Smidge is that you underway then?! Brilliant. I am cheering from the sidelines with my pom-poms, I hope this is the one for you. I think my dh is similar in that he doesn't want me to go through it all, but there just isn't an option at the moment. I do see a cut off happening at some point reasonably soon, mainly due to finances.

Smidge I was told to keep my gonal-f in the fridge. Considering it's averaging 30c every day I wouldn't keep mine on the bench.

Rain we were going to do the sperm defrag test but then we found out that the only treatment for poor results was to take zinc. So we didn't bother with the test.

Beaky we (well I did) decided before we started on a cut off for all IVF if I wasn't pregnant by 37. I think the DH's see the whole thing from a different perspective, all they have to do is masturbate.

We are staring another cycle next month. The doctor won't change my protocol for this round so I'm changing after it to someone who will be a bit more adventurous.

Sesame how did your consultation go?

ermagherd how did i miss the excellent news about a berry wedding! Congrats tiger - what a lovely thing

smidge thanks for the info re DHEA, so nice to be reminded of the best of my teen years.... Best of luck with the new cycle

rain glad you've managed to get a follow up appointment arranged. I don't think they would recommend freezing eggs that haven't been fertilised yet, as they don't freeze as well as embryos. It might be possible to freeze all on day 2, after fertilisation check, but as beaky says there is usually a reason for doing this. Of course it would be amazing if you had frosties next time, but the reality is very few cycles do. Don't feel you are missing out on your NHS entitlement here, as very few couples will benefit from the free FET - I suspect the main reason behind the policy is to get people to agree to transfer one embryo.

Ladybros, that's as far as I got on my phone while waiting in the fc yesterday, before mn went down. I'll post more later.

Oh Berries, I've had a shit day and want to cry. Sorry to jump in and bombard you with my rant, but I need to get it all down and then I'll read through the thread and catch up with you all.

I had a scan back in August, on what just happened to be my 37th Birthday. They found that my chocolate cyst (Terry) had returned, and told me I'd need another laparoscopy, but that I'd be referred straight for IVF and let them decide what to do first (happy birthday me).

So last week, I rang the hospital, to ask what was happening with my referral. It hadn't even been written yet. I explained that I was worried that was being referred for IVF without dealing with the cyst first, and I'd like to know what was going in the referral letter. The secretary said she couldn't answer my question and insisted I have another appointment with the consultant to discuss it. I repeatedly told her I didn't need one, I just needed to understand what would go in the letter. She insisted anyway, and I received YET ANOTHER appointment to see the consultant for mid-October.

Today, I rang them again to chase up the referral letter. I was told that it hadn't been sent because I had to see the consultant before I was referred. I explained that I'd already been seen back in August, and I didn't need to see him again. She then got arsey with me, when I said that my appointment in August was a waste of time. She said that the consultant probably had more questions he needed to ask me before he referred me. I said that's unlikely, since i was seen in August, and nobody told me when I rang in September that there was any problem. To be honest, I think she was making it up, since it was only because I phoned in September that the appointment was triggered, it wasn't anything to do with the consultant, it was the secretary that insisted I have an appointment. For FUCK's SAKE!!

All I needed to know was what was going in the referral letter, and I've got a 7 week delay for my efforts! Meanwhile, I rang the IVF clinic to ask them what happens when they receive a referral. They were amazing, they put me through to a specialist nurse who was just so lovely, explained everything and wished me all the best. This is from a hospital who I haven't even been referred to yet, so they don't owe me anything.

I want to cry. And scream.

Instead, I've sent a massive long complaint to the hospital for their BLOODY BASTARD AWFUL staff who I believe have caused this whole problem through their ignorance. Their kneejerk reaction when someone rings up with a question is to book them an appointment with the consultant, rather than using their initiative to try and find out the answer. No wonder they're so bloody over run!!!!

OK, rant over. Now I'll check back with you all and see how you're all doing, thank you for listening if you got this far!!

So here’s my update from my follow up at the fc. As I suspected before we even got going, the consultant brought up the donor eggs thing. I actually got a little upset, but he backed off and we had a decent discussion after. He said my recent cycle, using flare with Buserelin was a disaster and wanted me to go back to using my original protocol at the clinic, which is agonist flare using a different drug which I hate because of nasty side effects and my own personal theory that it impacts on egg quality. As that’s not what I wanted to do, we looked at the remaining options. He’s offered me antagonist protocol, although they don’t recommend this for low ovarian reserve as it carries a risk of premature ovulation (for 1 in 20 women), which means my cycle could get cancelled again. Other than that, I’m happyish with the protocol, and I could start on my next period, in 3 weeks’ time.

I also asked about starting antagonist on my natural period, instead of programming with the pill as per their usual protocol (to avoid extra suppression), and they would also be willing to do this although don’t see any benefits except inconvenience. Have any berries given any thought to natural period verses programmed start to IVF? Or is it just a weird thing that I've been fretting about?

We also talked about IUI, which the fc is hugely against, suggesting only the teeniest of potential success rates. However, it does still bug me that because of my AMH score, I’ve only ever been offered IVF. And as I’ve not actively ttc, I never got a chance to see what my natural fertility is like. I’ve also been reading a lot of the Robert Winston stuff over the last few days, about how couples who still have a chance of getting pregnant naturally, particularly older women, often have better odds that way than with IVF. I haven’t read any of the source research, but he also talks about IVF stims leading to higher rates of chromosome abnormality, again for older women, than would happen naturally (and I assume that means more miscarriages). However, I’m pretty sure my fc don’t believe a jot of this stuff, as they prefer to go with an IVF superiority type story. For similar reasons, my fc don’t think much of the natural cycle approach.

Anyway, I’ve probably got about a week’s worth of sleeps left to make up my mind, but I suspect the most likely outcome right now is starting a new antagonist IVF cycle in October.

So that’s my ‘me’ post. I will try to comment on the many other interesting berry posts tomorrow. Except to say sorry to berries still going through absolute shit times right now. And yay again for minx’s news, and the countdown to her scan.

Phew just caught up with the thread.

Minx so glad to hear everything seems ok. Arf at Bum Bullets.

Tiger We neeeeeeeed to hear about your dress. I love wedding chat!

Hi to everyone else, I'm sorry you're all in this shitness too.

X-posted with you Sesame I'm sorry to hear you've had such a hard time. Sounds like a head mash, I hope this week isn't too hard for you while you figure out what to do.

It never occurred to me that there would be so many choices in IVF, I thought you start and away you go. I'm learning so much on here.

Yo ladybros. What a carry on with mn being down so often.

Minx hooray lady! I'm v pleased all is fine so far, and I will keep pompoming for you for a great scan in a couple of weeks. I'm so pleased you're heading to the copter, it's been too long since we had a good berry exodus.

Ungoog sorry you're having a shit time with the FC, secretaries who cannot use their brains are so frustrating. I was made to have an appointment with my GP to get copies of test results that I was told I could have in the first appointment. Arghh. Anyway, fx your complaint does the trick and that you get your referral ASAP. in the meantime.

Sesame yes, I've asked about starting from a natural cycle rather than bcp as I've read it can be better for poor responders - the fc are fairly strict though due to when do ec. This last time I had a better cycle so luckily it worked out ok. I'd say antagonist is going to be better than any type of flare, flare is known for compromising egg quality. Re iui, I know what you are saying and I do think it's maybe worth a try for you, I understand the reason they tell low or to press on to IVF as it's better success rates but still it could be worth a try. I had two iui'a with no success but on the first I got 3 follies with only 75ml of gonal f. What drugs will this round be? Cetrotide/ gonal f? Have you ever had tests for immunes or anything?

hope everyone is ok!

Came to say hello yesterday but it was all broken again .

rain sorry, I'm not following the logic! Are you thinking that freezing and thawing eggs and then fertilising them would give you more embryos than fertilising the eggs and then freezing them as embryos?
My consultant basically said that if my spare embryos had been strong enough, they would have survived the freeze/thaw. I don't think eggs are any stronger than embryos?

minx

google I'd be bloody raging if that was me, and probably just burst into tears of frustration. It's one of those tales that would be an amusing jobsworth gone mad moment if it wasn't affecting your access to treatment. Definitely get that letter written.

sesame I had antagonist protocol but wasn't told of any risk of early ovulation - doesn't the cetrotide prevent that? I wasn't on the pill, I just started on day 2 of my natural cycle.
Have you read Robert Winston's book? I can post it to you if you like? I've finished it, and DH has read as much as he is ever likely to...

So, my follow up appointment about the IVF failures - both the fresh round and the frozen cycle.
I couldn't post in here yesterday so please skip if this is old news as you've read it on the other place!

The consultant was lovely as always, and said how sorry he was to read my notes and see it hadn't worked. He said there's a risk with the freezing process and the thawing, so it could have been either that killed the first embryo and damaged the second, but that if they'd been strong they would have survived it.
Although my ovarian reserve is low, the fact that I got three embryos to blastocyst was a sign that I had good egg quality.
In any ivf cycle, despite all their advancements, 70% of couples will not get pregnant, and they don't know why. He said the chances of pregnancy with a blastocyst are raised to 40%.
Given my history, he said there's every chance I could conceive if we tried again, and the standard success rate being low is why guidelines suggest to try 3 cycles.
He also said that as we are still 'unexplained' there is no reason they have found that we can't get pregnant naturally. I asked him about my short LP and luteal phase support and he said that if an embryo ferilised and implanted then my body would start producing more progesterone so this wasn't an issue. He said that there was no medical reason to prescribe progesterone before a pregnancy was confirmed, but he would be happy to prescribe it from the moment I got a bfp (he also referenced the promise trial).
He asked me if I'd used the counselling service (I was crying by this point) and I said I'd seen a counsellor last week but didn't find it that helpful - she seemed to just want me to talk to her whilst I wanted some useful coping strategies and I had to keep asking if she had any tips. He asked if he could give my number to the head counsellor so she could give me a call herself (the one I saw was the same one I saw last year, covering a maternity leave).
I asked about a laparoscopy and he said there was nothing in my history to suggest it would show anything, and it would have no effect on IVF. If I was thinking about it in terms of trying naturally, he'd be able to consider it but only with a referral from my gp - it's not something they could do at the ACU but if I was referred back to the infertility clinic, mentioning that I have bad period pain (well, I do for one day of the cycle) and am concerned about possible scarring (although I have no reason for this..) he would be able to review my notes (but couldn't guarantee it would be a yes).
So, what I took from this was getting blastocysts was a great sign and hopefully it's just a numbers game and another throw of the dice with MiL funded IVF might just prove to be out winning shot. I was less convinced that we could still get pg naturally. We'll hit 4 years of trying in December. Maybe when I've 'given up' and 'relaxed' I'll get a random bfp after a solitary drunken shag at new year. [Hmm]

Well, was hoping that I could make the most of some time in a lecture yesterday to catch up on mm but site was down! Haven't had time to post much recently, l have been so busy, although doing what I'm not sure!

Thanks for the wedding congratulations. I'm pleased that we are going to do something that celebrates us, and that we are finally sorting it after a decade of being together and a four year engagement almost. Fingers crossed for an IVF diff or miracle before then. Will share my dress ideas...you can vote for the best one!!

google what a nightmare! The bureaucracy and shoddy admin lets the NHS down time and time again! I work in a hospital so see it first hand on a daily basis. I'm so frustrated by the wait for my follow up to start ivf I could also scream.

minx yay to good results and please do stick around and get those Pom Poms going for the rest of us to join you in the chopper soon.

beaky have you had your follow up? Any idea what you'll do next? I never actually had one at my clinic. No, I didn't run on Sunday and I shouted at DP when he suggested I should go! Am feeling a bit under the weather excuses excuses so probably won't go again until the weekend and I feel a bit better. I have been eating wheat these last couple of weeks, and it definitely makes me feel ill. Back to clean living again! Just got no motivation...

Barking do you know when you'll kick off your private cycle?

Sounds like you've got a plan there sesame. Are you defo going to stick with your current clinic?

I had an Interesting chat with a friend this eve, which is especially relevant after reading your post sesame. At 27 she had her AMH done after a private doc advised her to because early menopause runs in the family. It came back so low that she was told she was unlikely to ever be able to have kids, her fertility was already that of a 40 year old, and even IVF would be difficult. They wanted to refer her to early menopause specialists etc. Anyway, she wasn't ready for kids and didn't know what to do, so just carried on. Her periods also went haywire (she thinks the stress of the diagnosis) and resigned herself to a struggle...5 years later at 32 she got pg first cycle ttc on her honeymoon, and then 2 years after that, pg again the first cycle they tried again. Amazing! Unfortunately it also means that she thinks everyone will beat the odds, and did actually tell me I do need to relax more and that's when it will happen. Well meaning but annoying nonetheless. And also a sign that very low AMH does not mean it is impossible to get pg naturally.

Anyway, desperately tired so must sleep. Hello to everyone else!

beaky I'm hoping to start downregging next cycle, I'm currently cd19 so about four weeks from now?

Interesting about your friend's amh but grr to being told to relax .

barking I’ve not read Robert Winston’s book yet, but I would love to, so thank you that would be totally amazing if you’re willing to send it to me! How did you find it? When you mentioned you were ordering the book, I went to have a look for it and discovered the Genesis Research Trust website. I’ve never seen it before, but there is a very rich library of ‘Ask Robert’ letters from people going through treatment, together with detailed replies. It’s also interesting what he says about unexplained fertility, that fc don’t properly take the time to investigate the causes, when his first point of call would always be an HSG X-Ray (not the HyCoSy ultrasound test) and a laparoscopy. Is that where you got the idea for a laparoscopy? If you think it might help, then it might be a good plan follow the suggestion from the consultant and go to GP complaining of period pain/spotting or some such, just to get the referral. Oh by the way, you’re right about Cetrotide, it does prevent early ovulation. But my fc said that with old/rubbish eggs, sometimes the ovaries have a mind of their own and trigger ovulation to their own schedule...

beaky, hopefully antagonist would do the trick, in my fc they use menopur and cetrotide. I’ve not had tests for anything like immunes as although I’ve had an mc, the problem everyone points to is my aging empty ovaries. Sorry things are still so tough for you. Do you know when your follow up appointment might be and when you could go back for another round?

grin what is your protocol at your fc? Is there anything they would change as a result of the failed fertilization?

googs You’re right it is all such a head mash, we’ve all been brainwashed into thinking that unprotected sex equals baby, and for anyone this isn’t going to work for like if you’ve got a pelvis crammed full of miscellaneous foodstuffs there is always IVF. Nobody tells you that IVF only works one out of every four times, and then there’s all this shizzle you have to deal with just to get a say in what happens to your body. Anyway I’m so sorry your hospital secretaries are being so shit. I can only suggest trying to ring on a different day, to try a different secretary, or asking to speak to one of the nurses, or maybe asking if the consultant could just ring you back, that way you save everyone’s time by not needing another appointment?

tiger interesting about your friend and that really does just reinforce that docs often talk a load of bollocks, just to suit themselves. And all those women out there, merrily instadiffing all over the place, don’t have a clue what’s going on with their AMH or how many follicles they can make every month or whatever. Mind, you unfortunately, I do have the ovaries of a 40 year old…

sesame yes, that's where I got the laparoscopy idea from!
I hadn't heard of the Genesis trust either until I read the book. Got your pm - I'll try and post it this weekend (just give dh a couple more days to see if he's inclined to read more than the pages relating to sperm )

Happylass Hello! I'm feeling OK today but af has arrived and it hurts more than usual. I assume this is how it is after the lap and dye and everything else that has been done to me. Hope you're doing well yourself and the EWCM could potentially be good news...?

Smidge Think I was being over enthusiastic about the gym. I'm going to leave it until I feel more confident that I won't hurt myself, so maybe three weeks. I had visions of me bouncing back within a week but that's not going to happen! I'm glad to hear your cystitis is a lot better!

Waterjungle Hi there, you sound like me when I started this whole process. You're definitely not alone. I laughed when you said your friends are aggressively fertile because that's EXACTLY how I saw mine and I hated them for it! I'm doing better. It got to a point where I didn't want to meet up with them because I was afraid if I did, I'd see their baby and just burst into floods of snot and tears. I still feel a bit sad but not as bad as it was before. They are a really lovely group here, they know what you're feeling and going through because they have either gone through it (more than once some of them). Try talking to people you know in real life about it can be quite hard and frustrating because they don't really understand what you're going through unless they've gone through it themselves. This is the best place to let it all out, ask all the questions and get some good advice. You're in good hands here

Sesame Thanks for the yoga advice! Definitely no full on twists or bends and be aware of my pelvic area. I've told the yoga teacher what's been happening and she's really understanding. She's going to show me variations of some of the yoga moves/sequences that I can do to make sure I don't damage myself. Also the Genesis Trust link was really useful, been reading the Q&A section on there. I've bookmarked it for later so that I can have a proper look at the whole site. I hope you're feeling more up this week.

Rain I'm feeling a tad blue due to more painful that usual af but I found a box of Ferrero Rocher which I'm sure will help with these ruddy cramps Hope you're doing alright!

Hello to everyone else and hope you're all having a decent day today

Only update from me is that I now have an appointment with the consultant to take about IVF on 12th November. Hoping I can get in earlier so will call periodically and see if I can get a cancellation slot. Right now I'm just going to sit tight and try to no think about the process too much otherwise I will drive myself up the sodding wall!

Yo ladybros; Hello new berries;

Apologies from me. I'm taking some time out from Berry HQ because I'm having a total pity party for 1.
I saw a consultant this week who specialises in laproscopy and hysteroscopy, and he is going to have a look next week, but he said he said best case is that he doesn't find anything. I'm a bit conflicted about this, because part of me wants him to find something, so I have a reason for all the failures. If they can't find anything wrong, then I don't think I'll feel like there is any reason it will work again in the future, if that makes sense?

So hasta la vista but not goodbye from me for the next few weeks while I sort my head out a bit and wait to see what what sort of derelict lady palace I've been sporting and whether I need to get the womble builders in to do some renovations...

spare sorry to hear about the pity party , but hope the consultant can help you. Take all the time you need to work things out, we’re still here for you when you need us.

happy what’s happening with you the now? Did af finally appear to let you start your new cycle? Or is she still awol?

antonia sorry about the nasty af pain, but hope you heal quick so you can get back to all your activities soon. Good news about lining up the IVF appointment, fx things will progress quickly from there on.

barking Thanks! , in that case I hope that there is a bit of a delay if that means your dh gets a bit more on board…