Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

Yes, Artio, deep breath and remind yourself that if this was the case very few women would ovulate in December, leading to no births in September. I believe that on the contrary September is a bumper month for babies .

Step away from Google Artio! If you can't enjoy a bottle glass of wine while TTC there is no point to ANYTHING. I think fertility issues come from huge amounts on a regular basis and I'm pretty sure it's only the men who have to cut down

Nice to have you back Gum. Sorry you're struggling a bit. There was an article in the paper recently about how 'older' celebs are giving us normal oldies false hope when getting pregnant in their 40s because, more often than not, they have had assistance of some kind whether it be ivf or donor eggs but they claim it's all natural. Who knows what is actually true but a healthy lifestyle alone may not be all that it took.

I saw that article too Grizzer was abit disappointed when I read it.

I tried to sort through the articles I could access, mostly by prof. Ole B Christiansen, but they are all in scientific literature not accessoble without subscriptions. But long story short, it sppears that when we did not no contraception, quite many women after diffcilut pg, particulariliy with male babies, according to Church books, did not have anymore offspring in next 5-10 years. It appears that female bodies know whether they can safely carry a subsewuent pregnancy or not and is able to attack embryos in order to not risk mothers' life. also, modern medcine has observed often that secondary infertility often reverses itself once several years have passed form the last pregnancy. This effect seems to have something to do with thr nk cells, but the mechanism is not yet well understood.

thats brill, thank you so much jass

That's very interesting Jass and sort of makes sense really. Alas I fear I don't have 5yrs

Thanks for the dose of common sense, reni and Grizzer, it helped! Finally today I appear to be getting the beginnings of an LH surge. It's only a couple of days 'late' but it's felt like weeks. I'd convinced myself it was everything from too much wine to early menopause... need to find a way to get less stressed about all this!

Hi all. Feeling very down today. Not sure why - I think this miserable weather isn't helping. I can feel af is preparing for her monthly visit. She's due by Friday and I'm already feeling crampy, sore boobs and tearful - probably because I know it will be another unsuccessful month.

We re-did DS's bedroom yesterday, turning it from a nursery into a proper little boy's room. It made me so sad taking down the changing table and all the baby stuff and not knowing if I'll get to use it again. We've kept everything so far but there will come a point where I will have to start selling some of it, as we will run out of space.

Wow - I feel so sad and fed up today. Thought I would come and say hi to you lovely supportive ladies.

I know the feeling about the baby stuff, joey. I have given it all away in a superstitious attempt to tempt fate. I would be thrilled to either be buying it all again or just slumming it and changing a baby on the loo seat and having her sleep in the laundry basket... CD 3 here, AF is in town. [witch emoticon]

i kept and kept my baby stuff and then had the luck that I could give it away, while retaining it in the family - my granddaughter wears mostly blue with some freshly bought pink accents. Luckily my boys also had green and yellow stuff.

I missed ovulation this month. came off all supplements but folic acid to make sure they are not causing this. CD21 here, had no surge during the usula window and no cm. Spotting yesreday at cd21, indicating af may come early or that things are completely off the track....

Sorry to hear that af got you reni. How long have you been ttc?

Sorry to you too jass about the weird cycle. I hope that you are able to get back on track for next month.

Still feeling cold and miserable - I've taken myself off to bed already. Will be glad to see the back of today and hopefully tomorrow will bring me a better mood!!

TTC for about a year, I forget. I have been temping since January, ov kits a few months before. It is ground hog day, Af week, dtd week, waiting fortnight. Gets me down sometimes. Have a nice cup of tea and watch a comforting movie in bed, joey. My dd is 7 so no hope of using my baby gear for a dgc any time soon, JassS .

Ah joey how old is your DS? I'm dreading changing our DS room and the thought I may still not be pg again. Loft is piling up with yet more of his clothes and stuff and will also have to think of selling some soon to make room. Was also thinking about double buggy as could put an attachment on the candy, but that too is becoming a distant dream.

Please can I join your thread?

At the moment we're trying to make the final decision to TTC#2.

DD has just turned 6, I'm 41 (just ) and DH is 39.

If everything was Ok it would be a forgone conclusion that we would just be TTC. But things have been difficult with DD.

My PG was difficult (emotionally) as we got a high risk result from the 12 week scan (1:35). I had a CVS where they didn't take enough blood so couldn't get a result so had to have an Amnio at 18 weeks. Luckily all was clear.

But then randomly, the Consultant still doesn't know why, I got Gestational Diabetes at 28 weeks and straight away was on insulin injections 5 times a day. It was a complete shock because I was a size 10 woman who ate really healthily.

DD was then born by Ventouse and the procedure damaged DD's eye. So much so that she will need cosmetic operations every few years to make her eyes look 'normal'. Since then she's had problems with her ears and she is also very small (DH's side of the family) for her age. Because I'm tall she went through loads of different tests to find out why she is so small. All came back fine but she knows that she's really small and she gets upset by it.

So all of these things have made us doubt whether we should have another one. I have a good friend who has a beautiful DS, the same age and size as DD. His younger brother is much taller and the lad is so self-conscious about his height. So I do worry about having a DS in case he's as tiny as DD.

These things may all sound trivial to others and shouldn't matter when you're desperate for another child, but I see my DD struggling with these things on a daily basis so I'm having to consider them.

But these are very slightly outweighed by the fact that DD is DESPERATE for a baby DSis or DBro. She talks about it every day.

We did try for 3 years and other than 1 MC, not a sniff of a PG. Went through all the tests and a Laparoscopy and all was/is fine. Maybe it's an emotional blocker...

Sorry to waffle...

Good luck to us all!!!

Welcome Elsa and sorry to hear of your difficult time with the Dd pg and your loss. It's a hard decision to decide to Ttc again after having some troubles isn't it, also being in our 40's we know all the risks are higher. But there's so many new tests and things they can do now and no two pg are the same. Good luck with your decision and I'm sure you'll find lots of advice and support on here.

Hi Emerald. My DS is 3 so it was time to re-do his room (although he is still in his cot!!). We've asked him if he wants his big boy bed, but he says that he is quite happy in his cot, so I'm happy to leave him there and not have him coming into our room in the middle of the night!!

Yes, I once used to plan for having a double buggy, but we wouldn't need that now, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

Welcome Elsa. Sorry to hear about your difficult pregnancy and the issues with your DD. I also got gestational diabetes with my pregnancy, and I am also a healthy and fit size 10 - it was a complete shock to me!! I didn't manage it very well (I think I was in denial about it) so had to be induced at 38 weeks, which meant DS wasn't anywhere near ready, so had to have a c-section which I didn't want. Fortunately there were no ongoing problems with him other than a couple of nights is SCBU due to him not feeding very well. It hasn't put me off wanting another one, but I know I will have to be very careful with my diet if I do fall pg again.

Best of luck with your ttc journey.

Joey our DS is still in cot also, he loves it and sleeps well. I'm really reluctant to move him as don't want him playing all hours/ coming in room etc. the absence of a sibling for him means we don't need the cot yet either so think he'll be in a lot longer too! Tho he is getting heavy to lift in now....Also going to do his room when he's 3.
That's true, not necessarily a bad thing not having double buggy to contend with!

Welcome Elsa, and I'm sorry to hear about your DD's challenges, and what you've been through. It doesn't sound trivial at all. I understand completely the fear about going for it again - my DS2 had a congenital heart condition, and although there was no evidence of it being genetic, I'm terrified of that happening again.

Also had a difficult weekend clearing away some of DS2's baby things - his bed nest cot has been by our bed since he died and I didn't really want to move it, but it has to be done some time.

I'm also getting very frustrated with OPKs this month. Did one yesterday which was definitely darker than the previous few days, but not quite equal to the control line - then the one I did today is virtually invisible again! I don't know whether this means I didn't ovulate, or I just missed it. I tested quite late in the day today, so I guess it's conceivable that I missed it. Gah!

Artio so sad to hear of you clearing away DS baby things, that must've been incredibly hard to do, sending a big hug. I really don't know how I would do that. hope you can try to heal abit now if that's even possible.

What opk do you use? I've only ever used cb ones

Just had call about results of tests on op, it had downs and chromosome 15. Blessing in disguise that it stopped early and we didn't have to make that decision

(((emerald)))

welcome elsa, hope you enjoy your time here :) theres loads of lovely support whether youre feeling up, down or inbetween here.

AF came 3 days early for me, at 23 days...i was already (pre MC) on a regular 26 day cycle, so all of my ovulatory patterns were mapped out by my app....of couse you dont know when youre gonna get your period after an MC, so that discounted that one.

this was my 2nd AF after mc, but with it coming early, its mean that all of the previous months ovualtion calcs were 3 days out, so a spanner in the works TTC last month.

as a result of the early AF, this months calcs by the app were done for a 23 day cycle, but I have no idea if this short one was a blip or will be the start of normal short cycles, so Ive not a clue when i ovulated (used 10 CB digi OPK's over when i should have ovulated on either the 23 or 26 day cycle, but big fat negative circles on every one of those :( ) or even IF i ovulated.

sorry for the wittering convoluted rant...just needed to get it off my chest!

aaaand breathe

Welcome Elsa! I hope you will get what you hope for really soon!

Emerald, I think it also is good news that you now know it was the baby, not you, as this bodes well for th future. and of course it was good that it went as it did - tfmr would have been far more horrible.....So the next time must be lucky.

Fatty, it is mystery why cycles suffer through mc more than they seem to suffer through normal pgs. It may be that you did not ovulate at all or that your cycle really adjusts so that tou have the same luteal phase and ov earlier. But it may also be that the luteal phase has gone short, in which case vitamine B6 should help to support the LP. OV gone missing is very cruel in these twilight baby making days....

thanks, for your very kind words jass

I know I shouldnt grumble....my poor baby sister had her first child as the result of a one night stand aged 18. she then met and married a lovely guy shortly after, sadly in her early 20's her OV went awol, and only happens maybe once or twice a year now. shes 36 now and has given up all hopes of ever having another. shes not in a position to pay for IVF and cant get it on NHS because its classed as secondary infertility :(

Thanks jass yes def good it went early like that, tfmr would've been awful. I'm so curious now if the other two were a similar thing, wish I'd pushed more for that with no2 MC but not much can do now. Shit scared of getting pg again now but it has restored faith in my body that it wasn't that this time.
fatty still waiting for next af to see what cycle is doing, maybe yours is still adjusting and app we don't ov every cycle.