Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

So ...the much hated af is arriving!!!! And I had symptoms during tww....
So just had a good cry this morning.... off to lick my wounds....
Ps great news grizzer !!!! emerald when do you get your results??? flotillas wonderful results!!!!

Grizzer Thanks for the update on the blood tests. I'm relieved that they are offering it on the NHS now, but like Cloud I'm wondering which ones... (may have to do some digging). Glad you got a little welcome wave at your scan

Fab news on your 12 week scan Flotillas and the successful evolution from nugget to baby-shape! How are you feeling now, has the nausea gone?

Hate to post a link to a Daily Mail article but I found this: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3015580/Hi-tech-blood-test-s-Syndrome-offered-NHS-time-mothers-results-days.html

With more googling it appears the test manufacturer has a 3 year contract in London:
www.morningstar.co.uk/uk/news/AN_1427105042730263100/premaitha-wins-three-year-contract-with-nhs-trust-for-iona-test.aspx

Gosh, yes, I have always been one of the oldest/the oldest mum in any antenatal/baby group I ever went to. And it'll be even worse when this one arrives.
However, I bet that no one ever would guess our age, as I found that most people can't even begin to imagine that anyone over 40 would consider having a baby People tend to think I'm much younger, maybe because of having DS and because of my youthful appearance, spring in my step and absence of wrinkles
The average age in my company is 27, and there are only very few who have children, which is why I am hoping that no one suspects anything yet and that they think I'm just getting fat because I have no self-control and am eating all the time

BTW, I have now finally created a thread for the pregnant over 40 ladies, please come and join me here

Thank you Cloud, will pop over! My hospital is Whipps Cross which is part of Barts NHS trust. It's north East london. It's actually in special measures but I can't fault my treatment. It's walking distance from work too so handy for nipping out for appointments.
I am going to take a leaf out of your book GoooRooo & not let age bother me. No one seems bothered by it at my appointments so I shouldn't be either.
Sorry about AF notso. Cake & wine for you.

(((notso))) af must be the most hated person on this site!

Notsoold* argh sorry af has arrived the witch! I'm hoping to get results from last ERPC this week, hope they find something with it. Then got St Mary's next weds, so not sure how long till results from there. Feels like it's taking ages to Ttc again.

GooRoo* how old are you again? I think there's a lot of us older mums about now anyway.

Cloud I'm also one of, if not the oldest in my baby groups/NCT group/Hypnobirth group.... Luckily some are still acting surprised when I do say my age! I think I'm still in denial and think I'm still in my thirties!

One born every minute has started again, not sure if I can watch it or not?!....

I'm recording it so I can sob through it as usual when dh goes out. I love it!

I used to love OBEM. Can't bear to watch it anymore, it's too emotional... Sticking with food and housebuilding programmes for now (Bake Off, anyone ?).

Too exciting for me, cloud, prefer endless re-runs of Poirot. I'm on 12 dpo, in my umpteenth tww. Not expecting a different outcome this time either. Sory about af, notso. Are you an early tester, joey? We are almost cycle buddies at the moment. I do not test any more. More fun pretending. Did you actually set yourself a deadline, Annie, since you say a few more months? I wonder if I should...

Sorry about af notsoold. Those first couple of days are so depressing. Treat yourself to some nice treats!
Hi reni - I will be expecting af to turn up in about a week. I never test - don't see the point. I find a bfn far more depressing than af - just let nature take its course. I'm not expecting much this month - we dtd a couple of times in the right timescale but I didn't do any temping or opks, so don't really know when I ovulated!!
Hi to everyone else - I'm sure that we are due some more bfps as our pregnant ladies are all pretty much safely into the second trimester - yay!!

P.s. I used to love OBEM too around the time of having my ds, but now I just find it to be a reminder of what I can't get, so I avoid it!!

Hi ladies, so pleased to see continued good progress for the pregnant ones on here!
I've not been around the thread. I think we've given up ttc.
Shortly after the last mc I turned 43 and my youngest turned 4. Since he was born I wanted a buddy sibling for him. He has older siblings, I wanted one close in age to him. Now, even if I were to get successfully pg this month the age gap would be similar to what he already has between him and his next eldest sibling. When I balance that with the continuous uncertainty of the cycles of pg and mc, I lose heart. It's too hard. Seems like it would be better to draw a line and move on.
It's a difficult decision. I'm nearing probable ovulation date. It's a wrench to find myself wondering if I might be about to waste my one last good egg. What if? What if?
I guess the feeling will wear off over time.
Best wishes to everyone else on the journey, and thanks for all the support.

Hi ,

44 and have5 dc 18,17,15 4, and 17 months.

Obviously was over 40 having my last babies! Had 3 mc having last 2 dc .

Don be put off . It can happen. But don't let it overtake your life.

Hope this helps and good luck. I never ever thought it would happen.

I do swear though by the Sperm meets egg plan .

Well, stats for me then - since we are doing them.
Jass 45, DH 49, DD 26 (with DGD 3mo), DS1 22, DS 2 10, DS3 6. Around 10 early mc, before fetal pole is seen, and two last ones with fetal pole, the very last with heartbeat, lost at 9w3d. Looked like a real baby, that one, but heartbeat was not there....

Checked for everyhting under sun and by everybody in the business, common comclusion is immune issues related to having had 3 sons in a row and a difficult pregnancy last time (when I was 39). Body seems to protect itself from future pregnancies. This problem should be self-resolving over years, but no one knows whether menopause comes first or the problem goes away. it seems to be weakening, since I am getting further and further with my attempts (and as a consequence losses become more hurtful, since the hope lasts longer).

Grizzer it's good isn't it! Like a good sob when baby comes out too. I know what you mean Cloud it is emotional I know what you mean

fromwest thanks for sharing your story and appreciate its not an easy decision to come to giving up, I'm also 43 and have DS age 2, I know I don't have a lot of time left and it is hard.

pinkfizz thanks for sharing your story gives me a lot of hope given your age too, it can happen!

Jass thanks for your story too, 10 early MC is very tough and harder the more you see. I found my mc2 harder because they saw 'tiny baby' no hb but it was all there, makes it more real like you say. Did anyone suggest IVF or just carry on trying? That's what I'm wondering if I'll get too.

hello ladies. Sorry I have not been around much. I have been avoiding mumsnet as I find all the talk of pregnancy and ttc really difficult. In my real life I am coping okay with every thing but it is still so hard. I can't help wishing it had turned out, that there was a mistake and somehow I am still pregnant. But that's just fantasy. I was in tears at the supermarket yesterday reading about an Austalian celeb who got pregnant at 44 without any help and said it was due to her healthy lifestyle. I have been a health freak over the last 5 years while trying to get pregnant and I have only managed miscarriage s. I am really really happy to hear that our pregnant ladies are progressing. I'm trying to be positive about life and ally blessings . I have had Af about35 days after the erpc and hadn been using opks to keep an eye on my cyclebut never got a positive sp not sure if I actually ovulated but don't think I did. I samydr and I just couldn't discuss contraception - I don't feel ready yet. I suppose I still have hope in a way though I am not sure if I want togo through the terrible anxiety again. I am on my phone making tonnes of errors so I will sign off. I am at the pool. dS is having a lesson. Loads of love and luck for you all.

GUm, good to hear from you! I am like you - even if I essentially believe more and more it will not happen, I do not want contraception. What will be will be! I hope soon you will feel more healed, I have to say that immidiately after my last mc I was very much for trying again, but now, almost 4 months on, the anxiety has subsided and even if I am teying again I am wuite philosophical about things. So I hope that the further away you get from the sad events the better you can again appreciate what you have already.

Emerald, no, no IVF plans here, I have 4 kids, so not desperate in this sense that I would consider using donor eggs. With my own eggs, there is probably no point anyway, ias I fall pg several times a year as it is. In addition if docs are right and I have immune issues donor egg would not help. It is what it is and actually a very ealry mc, before say 6weeks and beta levels of less than 1000, have stopped to hurt me at all. The ones I am afraid of are the ones where something visible develops. So a chem does not even thorw me for a day nowadays. i know it sounds horrible, but that is how it is.....my reaction to chemical pg is the same as dor any AF. Disappointment, but no more.

ive never heard of the immune system working against pregnancy after having so many sons :/ Ive had a ds, dd (miscarried) dd, ds, ds, ds and am on cycle 20-odd trying for number 6 (after an mc in may) I wonder if this is why im having trouble

does anyone have any more info/links on this?

Gum totally understand how you are feeling and I hope like Jass says as time passes you will start to feel abit better big hugs to you.

Jass no not harsh, can understand that the more is visible the harder it is and I'm afraid of those ones too. As horrible as it was, I thank my lucky stars they were all early MC as I don't know how I'd cope with having seen hb and more. I'm scared of that happening too.

Fatty I've never heard that either?

it is pretty common theory in reproductive immunolgy circles. i have over years googled about it a lot, but not saved any links. can see whether zi can find some.

that would be lovely, thatnks jass

Having a bit of an anxiety attack this evening. I'm on day 11 of my cycle, and for the last two months have got a positive OPK on day 12, but this month the test line hasn't been getting darker at all. Panicking that I'm not going to ovulate because I've been drinking this week, quite a lot as we were away at the weekend. I was going to stop once I got the positive OPK, but now I've been Googling alcohol and fertility problems, which was a mistake. Have convinced myself I've messed up this month by drinking. Should probably take a deep breath and do something else...