Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

Hi all - love the new thread. I'm just back from hols, so feels like a good time to start afresh.
Grizzer - great news that all is going well. I would be pleased with that Down's result. If you need further reassurance though, I think that the amnio test has changed a lot in the recent years and the statistics about mc that float around on the internet are quite out of date. From what I understand, it is a very safe test, and if you want absolute knowledge of the situation, then it is worth doing.
Glad to hear all is going well with both cloud and seewot. Haven't hear from flotillas for a while - I hope she is getting on OK too.
My stats are: age 44 (45 next month) dh is 41. We have 1 ds aged 3. Been ttc #2 for 2 years.

I've noticed that a lot of you ladies on here have had mcs whilst on your ttc journey. Now I'm not saying that I want to be in that position, but in the 2 years of ttc this time, I've not even had the slightest inkling of a pregnancy. It's really concerning me now. I'm not wishing mc on anyone, but I suppose at least you are getting some connection between your eggs and sperm supply - I'm not even getting that far. Does anyone have a success story where they have had absolutely nothing for a long time, and then still got pg??

First time around I got pg fairly quickly - 5 months of trying which resulted in a mc. I then got pg again 2 months later which resulted in DS. This time around my cycles have been as regular as clockwork - I think the most I've had is af being a day late. Opks and temping show that I ovulate and I've had the usual tests. DH has also had his sperm tested and that was fine. So why don't we get a connection?? I know that's an unanswerable question for an internet forum, but I'm just so frustrated. I imagined having my second child by now, and being done with it all, but month after month we get nothing. I don't know what else to do......

Sorry for the rant.....just need to hear some good news stories!! Thanks.

Grizzer thanks for the positive story about DE IVF. I'm still undecided but DP - who has biological children of his own- is keen to explore that option. I've only just turned 44 but feel like we need to put a time limit on TTC without assistance.

Grizzer if I were you - I'd go for Harmony test but as Cloud says your odds for an old bird are actually very good.

Waves to everyone - good to see all the stats too. 8DPO here and resisting urge to POAS!

Welcome City and I hope this is your month

GooRoo lovely to hear your story and just shows happy endings can happen.

Artio again sorry for your loss, what's SMEP thing?

Grizzer I would have harmony test if you're worried but think your odds are good!

Joey hi, I'm similar age to you and Ttc no2. I have got pg each time but suffered 3mc which I wouldn't wish on anyone. It must be so hard not even getting pg and seems nothing is wrong, I don't know why sometimes it just doesn't seem to happen, it's all so complex isn't it?

So glad I've found this thread! I'm 40. I had a silent miscarriage with my first pregnancy aged 39 in December 2013. TTC ever since. I'm so pleased there are success stories as I'm at the point of giving up. But believe it can still happen

Welcome welshy. Don't give up yet - you are still young!
Thanks all, I've googled the Harmony test. It's £500 and gives a 99% result which is exactly the same as the blood test so I think I will accept my (slight) risk factor & put it to the back of my mind. I have a consultant appointment tomorrow so I'll see what she says. I haven't had the results broken down yet Cloud, I'll get it tomorrow at my appt.

Welcome Welshy yes Grizzer is right, you are still young, don't give up just yet.

Thanks Emerald and Grizzer I'm going to keep trying. It's all I've ever wanted. I've not been on Mumsnet for months and went on today just on off chance. This thread has made me feel more positive

Emerald, SMEP is the Sperm Meets Egg Plan! No idea where it comes from, but I heard about it on here, it's meant to maximise your chances of getting the right conditions for conception. More here -spermmeetseggplan.com/

joey it took me almost 2 years before i even got a sniff of pregnancy, for it to end in MMC in may, so keep the faith

Thanks Artio sounds interesting!! Will have a look...,

Grizzer - the Harmony test is by far more accurate than the combined screening. I don't know the % accuracy for the combined screening, but it must be far less than 99%, simply due to how it's calculated... Whereas the Harmony test only looks at the fetal DNA and nothing else. It's such a shame that they have only now decided to eventually start using it on the NHS, but it will replace the combined screening. £500 is a lot of money, and part of the reason we didn't do it. I could get monthly private scans for that...
Hopefully, your consultant will go over your results in detail and discuss everything with you. They didn't offer me that last year, I had to do all the research myself.

Hi, just marking my place on new thread.

So pleased your scan was good news Grizzer. I was upset to read what happened in the last thread.

Also good to hear about positive progress from cloud and the other pregnant ladies.

Hope Gum is doing ok. She hasn't been on in a while.

Still feeling fed up. But AF arrived on time yesterday, so could be hormones...

Another vote for harmony of you decide on further tests. You either get 1:10000 or 1:2 as a result as it is looking at the baby's DNA it is very accurate. That said your odds are fine and you could just wait till the 20 week scan then decide on tests.

We had Harmony as with nuchal of 2.6 and at 42 I was sure I'd be high risk. Ended up low risk in nhs test anyway so there was probably no need.

1 in over 100 us pretty good odds and I think it a sensible to avoid the amino unless something shows up at a later scan.

New thread!!!!
Reporting for duty here!

I had to take some time off as ttc is the most upsetting thing for me. I obsess no end ( especially tww). Tried everything but tempting but that would be difficult as little boy wakes every night....
But every so often I came to lurk and read the wonderful news of our pregnant ladies ( congratulations!!!)...
Also read about the sad sad losses and could not but to cry with everyone. After my mcs I can't but feel with all of those that have lost as well....
We smep here ( and nothing) so I went for the 21 tests last week and will see the gp again next week. The gp said that the last mc was less than a year ago so really I should not be panicking.... b7t did the tests anyway and let's see her spin on the results...

Notsoold 44 ,dh 55, dd 20, ds1 16, mc at 10 weeks, ds2 21 months ,mc at 6/7weeks ( pregnant last September....)

grizzer I like you would wonder about tests but like you my thought regarding the cut off number is that a 100 is a 100....

Hello I'm glad to find the thread. Hello also to new people!
Me 41 BF 49 ttc#1 7months 1mc 8@weeks

Grizzer I agree it seems strange that although 100 is the cut off there was some concern that you should have additional testing at 103.

Even though I only got to 8 weeks before mc we were already wondering what to do about the Down's risk. My mum's sister has Downs - my Nan had her at 44. Although I know Downs isn't hereditary it has, of course, always been on my mind. I researched both the Harmony and NIFTY tests and was planning to go for the NIFTY using 'This is my' chain of clinics as they offer the blood test for £380 and it claimed to be sightly more accurate than the Harmony (though only a % in it, I think). I really don't like the thought of amnio so was hoping for more certainty through the extra testing.

Not really expecting much from this crazy cycle after mc. Had a false start to ov and think we may have missed the boat. Got a painful pokey feeling in the cervix yesterday at 7dpo but I know this could be a million and one things. Went to a NT property on Sunday and every woman there had a bump. Am jealous of anyone who can relax and enjoy ttc at the moment it seems so fraught.

fattyfishwife - thanks for your response. So sorry to hear that you conceived after 2 years and ended in mc. There are some really sad stories on here. It really is hard once you are over 40. I kind of thought that I would be bucking the trend as I conceived relatively easily at 40, but it seems that the 4 years in between have made quite a difference.

Anyone coming up for testing/af? I think I'm about 10 days away but not put in too much effort this month!!

hey guys,
am 43 and now on tww for the second time. This month we used the digital OV kits and it showed me ovulating four days before my period tracker did so hopeful. AF due 3rd August... so hoping for good news around then.

Just back from appointment with consultant. I saw a different screening lady & she went through the test. I don't think it is the combined test Cloud. I think that's the initial test & then they send blood off again if needed. It's called a 'DNA reflex screening test' which apparently is the same as the harmony but with a different name. Only available on the nhs very recently & only if you have high risk results.
She was much more positive about my decision not to have further tests & she insists the results are 99% accurate. She agreed that my result was good.
Saw the consultant after & he hadn't seen my results. When I told him what they were he said 'well that's fine then.'
I feel better!!
Also, regarding position of placenta, he said it will usually move over time & I can carry on as normal with swimming etc. he thought bleeding was due to clexane & aspirin which other drs have said it wasn't so slightly confusing but all in all very positive. Saw babe again too. Definitely waving!
Thanks for advice everyone.
I agree Ozmund, everyone has a bump at the moment. I am lucky that instead of feeling jealous I have moved to scanning their faces to see if they look older than me!
I also had an almost 2 year gap with no pg at all before an mc & then a (hopefully) successful pg. It's weird & frustrating but it doesn't always mean the end.

Gosh I thought I'd lost you all! Thank you for this thread, Grizzer and congrats on the nuchal fold measurement. I think you are being wise to not have the amnio. I do hop the rest of your pregnancy is plain sailing. You too, Cloud, and congrats on reaching 16 weeks!

Welcome to all these newbies - and I think the people coming to share their success stories are brilliant...I'm glad you invited them in the thread title, Grizzer, great idea

Joey, so nice of you to ask after me. I had my 12 week scan yesterday and they told me I was 12+5 with an EDD of 28th January. So exciting to see the baby finally looking like...well..a baby instead of a chicken nugget. Please don't despair at the months passing without pregnancy. If you keep in mind that only one-in-so-many of our eggs are capable of being fertilised then it doesn't seem so bizarre that two years can pass without a BFP. You just have to be especially determined to have plenty of sperm in situ every single month ready for the right egg. Every other day through the fertile window should cover it (three times in a week?) Don't give up

Waves to everyone else. I'm horribly busy at work but will keep reading and cheering. Don't give up, anyone

..Oh, and my nuchal fold measurement yesterday was 1.7mm.

Flotilla lovely to hear of your scan, all sounds great and gives us all hope

I'm not Ttc this month (feels odd) as waiting for tests soon after last MC and giving body break. *Just hope my cycles get back to normal and there's some good eggs left!
Grizzer that's a good tip, instead of looking enviously at the bumps I'm now going to try and look at faces too!

Great news Flotilla. Fab nuchal fold. Are you waiting for blood results too?

Ah, that makes sense grizzer! I had heard that they were going to start using the non-invasive testing on the NHS at some point, hadn't realised they already started! Wish my hospital was this proactive, which one are you going to (if you don't mind me asking)? What's your EDD? We must be due pretty much around the same time, I think?

flotillas Great news on your 12 week scan, that is an excellent nuchal result. How are you feeling?

Weclome neetie! May your stay on this thread be short and sweet Are you ttc for the first? You do live your life in 2-week intervals, don't you...

Grizzer I am the oldest mum in the waiting room at the maternity unit (and at every baby group I've ever been to) BY FAR - mostly by at least 15 - 20 years. I don't care. They don't know WHY I am the oldest mum there and it's been a hard journey to get there so I try not to let it bother me.