Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

I'm sorry you're going through this Hansolo, hopefully it's one of those scary things that turns out to be nothing. Most epu's need a gp referral I think though as it's a Sunday you might try calling them and see what they say. You may be able to find the number online and I'd call about 8am. If that fails then make a gp appointment Monday and they should be able to refer you. As for a&e I think you should see what happens today. When I had my mc I was told to go to a&e if my blood loss was severe or if I felt particularly unwell etc. Good luck to you

Well it looks like it's all over. Hospital were very attentive and did loads of tests but there's not enough pregnancy hormone. I've been getting sharper pains in my uterus so I expect the bleeding to properly start soon. I think it's just not going to happen for me now. I'm too old, too ill & just not able to have another baby :(

I'm so sorry Hansolo, it's really crap. Glad the hospital were good and I hope that you are being looked after at home. Please take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up or make any decisions yet, you need some time. Big hugs for you

Slinki how did your scan go? I hope everything was well.

I think AF is on her way, I've had some v light spotting this morning. I did get some heavier gungy spotting with my pregnancy at the end of August though none with my first pregnancy. I don't really want to symptom spot as I'm sure most of it would be in my head... I wish it would just hurry up so I can think about the next cycle. If it hasn't come this time tomorrow I will buy some pg tests.

Fingers crossed for everyone else on the tww.

I'm so sorry Hans. How old are you? Sorry if i've missed earlier posts. I had brown spotting at 5 weeks with back ache and cramps but the pregnancy continues. Could you just be earlier than the hospital think? I don't want to give you false hope, i just wish you a positive outcome.
I miscarried a couple of months before this pregnancy so we gave up trying for a bit, stopped taking vitamins etc then got bfp mid Nov.
Please let us know how you get on and hang in there. Xx
I got my private scan, 2 babies, both good size for dates. Im still just over 10 weeks so not out of danger yet but now allowing myself to get my head round the idea of how we will cope with two!

Hope you get something conclusive either way soon Ababs, I alway hung onto the hope that you are supposed to be more fertile after a mc. Good luck. Xx

I hope to catch up properly soon (I've been practising my best ostrich impression lately with all things TTC) but I read the posts from the last couple of days and just wanted to say -

Hansolo - so sorry if it's going the way that you fear. But if nothing happens in the next few days, do you think you could ask for a scan? As Slinky said, perhaps there's a chance you're earlier than the hospital think?
You made me sad when you said "I'm too old, too ill & just not able to have another baby" ... I've no idea how old you are, nor what illness you're referring to, but still I'd strongly caution against making any big assumptions at the moment. Its inevitable that you're bound to be feeling low and hormones won't be helping that. But (even just off the top of my head) I can think of several women in RL, plus some on this thread too, who've had a/another baby in their forties after one or more miscarriages. Perhaps its a sad fact that it often seems to take a couple of miscarriages before getting a happier outcome, but still it can be done.

Ababs - I have a weird (good) feeling about your recent post ... could this be your month? Hope so!

Slinky - truly wonderful to hear your TWINS are bang on for dates. Anyway, FX for your 12 week dating scan (when is that?), but it sounds like you've cracked it my lovely! Please do post an update (or two) we can always do with a lucky charm!

BTW - do you happen to know what the odds are for conceiving twins naturally - isn't it like 1:80 or something??? An NCT friend had (natural) twins - hard work but totally magical - I was so jealous!

Back later!

oH gosh -Slinky! Thats a jackpot for you! Congratulations!

Slinki how fantastic, I'm so happy for you! Yes, no doubt twins will be tough but it will be so worth it. Make sure you are looking after yourself and taking things easy.

Hansolo I hope you're doing ok. There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better but you're not alone. Many of us have been there and know how you are feeling.

Chewy good to hear from you. Not my month, I caved and tested yesterday and it was negative. I've had some more spotting so AF is definitely on the way. I'm ok with it, it would have been a miracle if I'd conceived straight away again - I'm not that lucky!

Hi all,

Really delighted to hear the great news from Slinki and notsoold. It's lovely to hear of things going so well for you both.

ababs I'm not far in front of you! AF arrived for me too, and early again, silly cow. I drank a few glasses of white wine and broke open a box of chocs my auntie got me for Christmas, the box I was adamant that I was going to give away (ha!).

Self-destructive pity-fest out of the way (for this week anyhow), I'm back trying to fix my broken reproductive system. I've ordered the same brand of Agnus Castus I used last summer, which put my cycle back to 28 days, shortly after which I became pregnant.

Also ababs, you asked which brands I used, and this one was Biovea Vitex. I used other brands since, and they just made me feel crap without impacting on my cycle. So I'm going back to that in the hope it will have a similar result. Fx!!

Another supplement I left behind at Christmas was myoinositol, which is hard to get outside of the internet (and expensive). I was kicking myself because I had ordered it and then forgot to bring it with me. I've taken both Pregnacare and infofolic (same thing, different brands) and they seem very similar. I didn't find the cheaper tablet brands as good (although they are easier to take).

I also ordered new b complex vits, as I realised the ones I had been taking have teeny quantities of b6 compared to what is recommended for luteal phase defect (which I've become convinced I must have... no, I'm not a fertilo-chondriac!).

Chewy and jassS, good to hear from both of you.

So sorry Hans. It's really sad no matter what stage it happens.

Sorry AF got you too Twinkly. My cycle was longer this time, 29 days and I think I ovulated on day 17 or 18. We dtd at the right time as it turned out but there you go. I didn't get much ewcm though so I wasn't really expecting much, I will hope for better this month.

It absolutely makes sense to get the same brand of angus castus that worked for you last time. I hope it does the job, how long did it take to work last time? I love the term fertilo-chondriac btw

Hello fellow 40+ers. I'd like to re-join the 40+ ttcers. I was here a while ago under a different name.

Been trying for 18months, I have a 7yo. 42 myself. Used to temp and opk, have stopped it. We are now doing eod from cd8 to cd20 or so, with the inevitable AF at cd 25 like clockwork every month. Last time I fell pregnant the month we started trying, this time all I feel is desperation at having waited too long.

Welcome biboergosum, I'm sorry that you've been ttc for so long, it must be tough. Have you or your dp had any tests? Are you taking any supplements or anything? Fingers crossed you get your bfp soon

Bibo - Last time I fell pregnant the month we started trying, this time all I feel is desperation at having waited too long - er, are you me? I have a gorgeous 2.5 year old DD conceived first go, then conceived again after 3-4 months trying last year, but sadly ended in MMC and since then ... nada. So I totally get where you're coming from! Although these days I now have the added complication of being of terribly advanced age in fertility terms (whispers, 46 ) and would give my right arm to be 42 again!

After the MMC I had some tests as I think I was desperate to find something to 'fix' - needless to say I didn't - and along the way consulted Dr Shehata of the Miscarriage Clinic. I remember asking about tests for whether or not I was ovulating regularly and he said that an excellent indication of regular ovulation was simply having regular cycles. Mine vary between 25 - 27 days and he classed that as 'regular'. So on that basis, the fact you have super regular cycles ought to be a good thing? FX for a golden egg soon! But as Ababs says, might be worth thinking about supplements etc - are you taking anything?

Still need to catch up properly with the thread. Nothing exciting here: mid-cycle shagging done for yet another month (bit half-heartedly these days) and into 2ww limbo!

Waves to everyone

Thanks, ababsurdum and ChewyGiraffe, it really drags on, this ttc malarkey. I haven't done any tests, only tried opks which come up postitive followed by a nice rise in bbt, so I think I am ovulating, but who knows.. I am only taking folic acid (most days), no other supplements, had Pregnacare Plus for a while, maybe I should start them again, what are you taking? Dh is taking no supplements other than red wine. Fingers crossed for a golden egg indeed.

Hello - new to this thread but have been lurking for a bit and posting on some others. Am 42, very nearly 43 and been trying for 10 months for number 1 - am at the point of giving up hope really but just wondering what people's thoughts are on dtd every day in the run up to ovulation versus every other day? I'm on day 11 and dtd today and worried I may not be able to again until day 13. Although I have a feeling I ovulated on day 9 anyway. Sorry, possibly a bit TMI.

Chewy best of luck for your tww. Hope you managed to catch a golden egg! I'm nearly 44 so I'm not that far behind you...

Bibo a good book was recommended to me on this thread called it starts with the egg. The first half of this talks about supplements and the second half about diet etc. The supplements it covers were those seen to help groups of women undergoing IVF as test subjects. Definitely worth a read. I'm taking coenzymeq10 and so is dh as well as pregnacare conception and fish oil. Others on the thread are taking more.

It took me 14 months to conceive my ds 3/4 years ago so I have some understanding of how you feel. It's very tough getting nothing but your period month after month especially when you know you've dtd at the right time. Back in August I amazingly managed to conceive the first month we tried for #2 but sadly that ended in a mmc at 10 weeks at the end of October so here I am again.

Hello wotsits I definitely wouldn't give up yet - see my previous post. have you had any tests to see if there are any problems? 10 months seems like forever but I think it's still within the normal timeframe for getting pg.

When we were ttc previously we tended to do every other day in the run up and then the day of a +ve opk and again the following day.

Thanks ababsurdum, it is good to hear stories of people who tried for a bit and then it worked out. It just worries me that there has been absolutely nothing for 10 months. I've had the AMH tests and follicle counts - sadly all quite low (AMH is 4) - which I expect is part of the problem. Am on a weird cycle this month - loads of ewm but nothing on the OPK so am confused as to what the hell is going on. I do worry that I ovulate really early in my cycle. I'm so sorry to hear about your mmc, that must be so very very hard to deal with. To give you a positive story - a friend of mine who has just turned 43 is 6 months pregnant with her first after 2 mc and then nothing for 2.5 years.

wotsits there are similar stories on the over 40's pregnancy thread so there is hope yet.

I did talk about it up thread but for full disclosure I should mention that we tried for a year with nothing (despite good semen analysis and a decent amh level) and then we did a private round of IVF. I never had any invasive testing to see why I wasn't conceiving. The IVF went well but wasn't successful however I conceived my ds naturally the following cycle.

I've no idea if the IVF triggered something (or even if that's possible) or if it was just 'our month'. I do know that the month I conceived I had a lot of ewcm. I read in taking charge of your fertility that you should dtd when you have good ewcm and that's what I do.

I do get quite a bit of ewcm, but it tends to be two or even three days before the rise in temperature. I am on cd4 at the moment, mood is on the up. I see there have actually been not just pregnancies, but babies on the thread!

Seemingly the ewcm protects the sperm and provides 'channels' for them to swim up in . If that's when you get it I'd definitely dtd then! I'm on cd3 so right behind you.

Yes a couple of babies recently, it's brilliant. Plus there was a thread yesterday in _chat, I think, where lots of people were posting about having dc in their 40's.

My great-great grandmother was almost 50 with her last baby, but she was a bit like the old lady who lived in the shoe, she had so many...

bibo - yay for your great-great granny, love a story like that!

ababs - you are so sweet trying to cheer me up but consultation at IVF clinic last year laid it on pretty thick of the heavy significance of the two years elapsed since I had my DD at 44 (less a week). They made being 44 sound hugely positive in comparison!

wotsits - your AMH sounds fine really. Maybe it would be 'low' for someone in 20's or early 30's, but honestly didn't think alarm bells even started to be rung until AMH is less than 3?

Plus I read an article by doctors at an IVF clinic in New York (Dr N Gleicher & Dr D Barad) which states that by 2011 they had established "close to 50" pregnancies in women with critically low levels of AMH, including many with undetectable levels of AMH, since they have been supplementing these patients with DHEA (25mg x 3 daily) for at least 6 weeks prior to treatment. In short, I don't necessarily think that AMH is the be all and end all that its sometimes made out to be. (At least it suits me to think that, as mine is truly rubbish.)

As regards whether to DTD every day or EOD, I remember asking the exact same question on this thread some months back, with some really helpful replies. I remember in particular one from the lovely Flottilaz - I've checked back and its on Tue 06-Oct-15 23:36:50. At the time, she was aged 45.5 and six months pregnant with a little boy, conceived as a result of her conversion to the EOD theory!

Which makes me think - I guess she must be due her baby around now? So if you're out there Flottilaz - trust all is well and we'd love an update!

Another recommendation for EOD came from a specialist private scanning clinic I've used. Long story, but my periods stopped completely last summer - just when I was about to give IVF a go, great timing! I was told by a couple of doctors it was the dreaded 'M' word (that shall never mentioned on this thread!). Turned out it was purely because thyroid had gone hyperactive and its taken quite a lot of trial and error of medication dose to return it to some semblance of normal (still a bit unstable). Anyway, I was sufficiently freaked out to have 3 or 4 cycles monitored by U/S scans - even though I couldn't TTC (due to Thyroid) in half of those. It amounts to a LOT of scans, with two different senior sonographers. Both are big fans of EOD - they understand how psychologically tricky, how counter-intuitive it can be to skip a day of DTD, but emphasise that its better to allow some time for quantity to recover, but also suggest that it improves quality/tends to increase motility too. (I admit to being a little sceptical about the motility argument, but at least the quantity point is fairly evident in our house - sorry TMI!)

Anyway, this month is probably the first that we've ever tried (sort of) EOD, maybe just because it happened to coincide with our mutual laziness. So we DTD on CD 11, 13 and 14, then stopped. On CD12 I had a positive OPK (which seemed early) plus an U/S scan. The scan showed a mature follicle not yet ovulated, but which from the size she thought could ovulate anytime from CD12 evening through to CD14 morning.

I only mention that because thought it interesting that the scan (as with previous cycles to be fair) completely backed up what OPKs were saying. Personally I've found the PINK Clearblue Digital (the original single hormone ones) to be the most reliable - moreso than the PURPLE Clearblue Digis in my case, actually.

Anyway - we'll have to see. Luckily DD watched a documentary on pandas over Christmas and currently appears more keen on having a baby panda than the baby brother she previously requested. Its totally in the balance which one is more likely.

Oops mega post! Laters x

ChewyGiraffe the very idea of dtd every day!

Eod we can manage (just) for the 2 weeks... I sometimes wonder if younger people fall pregnant easier partly because they have an awful lot more sex.

Ha ha bibo someone on this thread, can't remember who, was told exactly that by a doctor or sonographer or someone . I'm sure it's not the only variable though.

Chewy I love your mega posts! Great that the panda has taken the pressure off for now.

Interesting what you say about the different opk's, not least because the dual hormone ones are much more expensive. I have a clearblue fertility monitor somewhere which is also dual hormone but don't think I can be bothered to dig it out this time, the digital opk packs are good enough. I honestly think testing once a day at the critical time isn't enough, the cbfm missed my LH surge a few times. I know this because of ovulation pain and picking it up later with another opk. I tend to use >1 a day once the line starts to get a lot darker (can anyone say obsessive?). I really must order some for this cycle...

Ababs - I wouldn't want to put anyone off using the purple dual hormone Clearblue OPKs as they're obviously very clever technology, but perhaps too clever by half in my case. I've had a couple of results from them that haven't made any sense to me (like peak fertility waaay too early, etc).

Personally I think the ordinary (pink) Clearblue OPKs are great - they still have the smiley face which stops all that faffing and worrying about whether a line is dark/strong enough to be a 'proper' line (although I have to inspect/compare the lines on the strip inside before I throw it away, obviously ....).

And I agree, if you only test once a day, can be too easy to miss the LH surge. So I tend to test FMU for a couple of days until the day(s) I really expect it (calendar and EWCM) then twice - say FMU and late afternoon, but have been known to test 3 times .

One thing perhaps worth noting about the Clearblue tests is that I'm pretty sure the first test in any cycle will always be negative: I'm sure I've read somewhere that there's an algorithm in the test holder, which compares the latest result to the previous one(s), in order to show a peak that's personal to you (rather than a basic question of is it over this xyz level or not).