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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Over 40s TTC & success stories.

999 replies

Grizzer · 18/07/2015 22:20

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
ChewyGiraffe · 15/01/2016 14:55

Aaargh! I'm just having a moment Confused Sad Angry Sad.
Can I just say, I'm f*cking fed up with this TTC malarkey! Plus I've re-read my post and am even boring myself! Lets just all get pregnant and have done with it!

FattyFishwife · 15/01/2016 21:09

chewy i looked for a like button for your post!!

(((hugs)))

ababsurdum · 15/01/2016 21:37

Hear hear Chewy, pregnancies all round! Grin

Seriously, your post wasn't boring. Hopefully this thread is informative for those new to this ttc malarkey. I also like to inspect the lines and have been known to use 3+ a day Blush

I've ordered a 20 pack of the regular digital opk's plus more supplements. hoping I won't need them all!

TwinklyMusic · 15/01/2016 23:00

Not boring at all Chewy. We're all in the same boat!

Frigging sick of it too. Why can't we just be pregnant? Enough already!

biboergosum · 15/01/2016 23:39

Chewy has it. Lets just all get pregnant and have done with it!. Easy. This is what we do. Meet you next month to start moaning about stretch marks. Sorry, Chewy. Grin

ababsurdum · 16/01/2016 16:38

I used sweet almond oil in my pregnancy, worked a treat.

FattyFishwife · 16/01/2016 19:31

i demand that ALL our bodies do what they are supposed to do, and do it IMMEDIATELY!!!

For some reason, I feel ridiculously giddily happy today.....theres no specific reason, so maybe, i have finally let go of thinking I will have another and its lifted a lot of stress...plus PATE AND CRACKERS....'nuff said!!!

ababsurdum · 16/01/2016 19:54

And WINE Fatty?? Wink

FattyFishwife · 17/01/2016 11:42

indeed abab :D

wotsitsmaltesers · 17/01/2016 22:10

Thank you chewy and ababsurdum for your long posts and detailed answers, so nice to hear other people's views. Have given up hope for this cycle as getting partner onboard for dtd has been an exercise in breaking down fort knox. We managed it a couple of times during the important days but think we've missed the crucial ones. Hey ho, planning for February cycle begins. Chewy I loved your post about even boring yourself - I can't bear thinking about this anymore and just wish I could find a laic button to switch all the hopping and desire for it to work off. Fingers crossed for everyone - please someone, anyone - make this end of us all...............

wotsitsmaltesers · 17/01/2016 22:12

in previous post that should read find a button to switch all the hoping - no idea where laic came from - the hopping I get a bit more as I do feel like I'm going hopping mad.

Laney44 · 18/01/2016 15:51

Hi all! I've been reading from the shadows but finally being brave! I'm lucky enough you have 3 children already. ..eldest at uni...youngest is 11 yrs. I'm in a new relationship and we'd both love another child. Haven't really been focusing but just seeing what happens..I've found reading your posts so inspirational and I do feel a bit bad as I know I've been blessed with children but the longing for another with the man you love is just as compelling! So today I've bought some Agnus Castus, can only help I reckon! Will be braver and pop on more...you ladies are the only ones who know I'm trying. .well apart from OH! Wink

ababsurdum · 18/01/2016 20:09

Welcome Laney, how long have you been trying? Are you hoping the agnus castus will lengthen your cycle? Good luck and hopefully you'll get a bfp soon.

Wotsits is your dp not sure about having another or is it just logistics that are the issue?

Nothing to report here except my period has been a bit longer than usual the last couple of months. Cd7 here and I'm still spotting a little. Is anyone on the 2ww?

Laney44 · 18/01/2016 21:46

Ababsurdum...hi...only really been since sept just gone...but due to work circumstances doing the deed has been limited ! Hopefully that'll be remedied soon! I'm hoping the Agnus will help with the luetal phase as I seem to ovulate late. ..though I've only been going by ovulation pain and cervical mucus! Hate that word! Lol think we managed the deed night before day of ovulation so that's something!

Oliveisme · 18/01/2016 22:18

Hello all Ababsurdum I'm waiting patiently (but to be honest frantically) in the 2ww and have every symptom you can think of Hmm but not testing until AF due date which is Friday. Been a right cow to DH today so have a lot of grovelling to do so that's kinda kept my mind off testing too. Why oh why are pmt symptoms so much like pregnancy ones Confused. To add to all my stress and hormones right now my 2 DC found all my FRER's and thought it was quite funny 🙈. They know that we're TTC but we don't openly discuss it monthly with them either. Good luck to all in 2ww.

wotsitsmaltesers · 18/01/2016 23:14

Hi all and welcome Laney. Absurdum you asked about partner - it's all quite complicated - basically quite a new relationship and we're kind of skirting round all the issues and not hitting things head on, which I know I have to rectify but have been hoping it would all just happen so we don't have to have really hard discussions. Naive I know.

TwinklyMusic · 19/01/2016 00:30

Welcome more newbies! V exciting!

We've decided we're all going to just get pregnant, no more messing around. There was a vote or something... Wine was involved...

So you've joined at the right time! Grin

Lol at the DC finding your FRER Olive. How many did you have??!!! Grin

Laney44 · 19/01/2016 16:09

TWINKLYMUSIC ..so glad I've joined at the right time! Fingers crossed for us all! :-)

FatFlotillas · 20/01/2016 00:22

Hello! How kind of you to ask after me, Chewy! I am 38+5 (due next Thursday 28th) and fit to burst. How are you? Are you going to try IVF? I haven't read back very far but I can see you have been discussing frequency of sex. I've posted my pregnancy chart where you will see we had sex only four times in the whole cycle, blowing apart my GP's smug theory that: 'You'll never get pregnant only having sex around the time you think you're ovulating...charting is pointless and encourages too-focussed sex...temperatures are not reliable...'

We tried every-day sex throughout the fertile window many, many times and simply got hugely bored of each other's genitals. We hated it. Zeta West also told me smugly (not directly, in her latest book) that high protein diets are anathema to conceiving. Well, in the three months leading up to conception I ate 21 eggs per week (a 3-egg omelette per day) and threw maca root and co-enzyme q10 into the mix, too.

At the risk of sounding smug myself please believe me when I say I'm not. What I'm trying to say is that, after 16 fruitless months of plentiful and well-timed sex I never had a sniff of a BFP, and then...pregnant. So..it was either a) My golden egg had appeared b) The supplements and omelettes suddenly boosted my egg quality (or sumfink) or c) The eod deposits of semen allowed the perfect ball-sack recovery time for optimum sperm.

Of course, if the sperm isn't there it isn't going to happen, and I believe Zita West when she says the main barrier to over-forties not getting pregnant is we're not having enough sex (I'm talking about me, not any of you. In fact the month we got pregnant we used artificial insemination using a syringe and DHs sperm; we had given up seeing it as lovemaking and I had more chance of guaranteed, stress-free ejaculate every other day if I ordered DH to simply go masturbate. He balked at the idea initially but I just cried and ranted and told him I needed sperm, sperm and more sperm and it was his duty to get it to me by whatever means possible. I also told him that macho pride had no place in the discussion any more: 'I'm getting OLD for f**k's sake!').

I'm sorry if that was TMI, but my point is there were many, many months during those 16 fruitless ones where, if I'm totally honest, we only managed to DTD once or twice near ovulation. It's just not enough, especially if the man has not-excellent sperm that perhaps only lives a day, day-and-a-half.

I wish you all masses of luck. Oh, and over on the Pregnant Over 40 thread there's a lady who popped on to encourage us all by saying she had her first baby at 43 (like you, Chewy) and is now four weeks pregnant at 46, after being told IVF was 'a waste of time'. Thanks

ChewyGiraffe · 20/01/2016 07:28

FatFlotillas you absolute star! How marvellous you’re 38+5 already and so very nearly job done – bet you can’t wait to meet your little boy! Hope it all goes beautifully (and quickly) for you next week.

Thank you for such a cheery and encouraging post – so generous of you. It’s always refreshing to read such honesty – lol at the “I need sperm” rant! (Hmm, I’ve had one or two of those myself, if somewhat less effectively! Sad) I hope the 46-year old pg lady you mentioned is doing well too.

The egg omelette thing is fascinating. I’ve read about high protein, low carb diets improving success rates in IVF. You’ve given me a nudge to take it off my ‘keep meaning to do’ list and actually do it. Did you make any other adjustment to your diet – e.g. were you low carbing as well as the high protein, avoiding caffeine etc?

Yes, odd you should pick up on IVF; actually I'm quietly considering starting IVF soon, even though I feel totally a bit daft. I know the stats are dismal (plus it’s not like finding that type of spare money isn’t a struggle) but I’m certain I’d regret NOT EVER trying it, perhaps moreso than I kick myself on a daily basis for not trying it once DD was 8-ish months old. (Instead we tried naturally, eventually conceived but MC.) Anyway, there’ll be another gatekeeper-type assessment (scan, bloods etc) to ‘pass’ before I actually start, and I daren’t take anything for granted at this stage.

ababsurdum · 20/01/2016 14:34

Olive fingers crossed for Friday. Are you still symptom spotting?

Flotillas massive congrats, you're nearly there. Grin at your 'I need sperm' rant! It clearly worked wonders. I'm curious as to what your GP did think would work - was it just regular sex around the month? What a knob they sound. The high protein thing is interesting, I'm trying to remember what it starts with the egg said. Will have to re-read that bit.

Chewy do you have an IVF clinic in mind? Are you going to book a consultation?

I'm on cd9 here and have started using the opk's. We are definitely going for it this month. Eod up to ovulation assuming I time it right! I'll have to up the egg quotient too I think though I'm not sure I could manage three a day Smile

FatFlotillas · 20/01/2016 15:19

Chewy, I'm howling at the notion of me low-carbing! I'm a bloody animal when it comes to bread, cornflakes and pasta. I'm a complete disgrace..and my infantile obsession with fizzy drinks is, frankly, embarrassing. Again, I'm not being smug; I'm simply saying that it was categorically not diet or avoidance of caffeine that did the trick for me. My sugar addiction is quite simply off the scale and I take little exercise (although my BMI is in the normal range). I'll tell you what does continue to fascinate me: when I conceived in April I was exactly the same weight - to the last pound - as when I conceived my first baby. I wonder whether we all have an optimum weight we need to be at to conceive? We all know very large women who are mums - and skinny minnies who look as though they couldn't possibly eat enough to generate eggs - but perhaps their weight was optimum for them at the time they conceived?

It's a bloody headscrew trying to eliminate the absurd from the 'obvious', isn't it? Why did 16 months of exceptionally well-timed and frequent sex result in nothing for me? Did I really not produce a single viable egg in all that time? Or was the every-day-for-five-days sex spoiling DH's sperm? Those months where we 'only' had sex the day before ovulation or two days before...were they the months where the golden egg was ready but there just wasn't enough sperm in situ? Was it the co-enzyme that did it? The maca? The fecking omelettes?

Another thing that puzzles me is this: when I conceived this time it was the first time ever in three years of charting that I ovulated on cd14 (I always ovulate on cd15 unless I'm on the shitty pointless Clomid, which made me ov on cd17/18, thus rendering my egg over-baked, IMO). Did that one earlier day in the cycle produce a greater quality egg? Just 24 hrs younger than usual?

Chewy, I think you'll regret not trying IVF, but can I gently suggest you throw your money at the very best chance of success for mid-forties women using their own eggs: Serum in Greece. I'll leave that with you, suffice to say Penny is a genius...Thanks

Ababsurdum, hello, lovely. My GP is of the opinion that, by focussing only on having sex at the 'right' time, we are allowing our husbands' ballbags to collect dust and other nasty flotsam for the rest of the month, rendering their sperm useless and unable to fertilise our eggs. He might be right, but I begged my DH to ensure he was emptying his testicles every three days throughout the cycle (I would lend a hand too..I'm not a complete bitch Grin), so I knew his sperm was being regenerated. I just couldn't be arsed any more with the pretence of sexy sex. I'd had enough. We remained intimate in lots of other ways (I would allow him the remote control on Tuesdays) so that we didn't lose touch with one another's needs Blush

I will come back and say hello when I've sprogged...x

wotsitsmaltesers · 20/01/2016 17:56

Thank you FlatFlotilla's for such a positiv post. What a lot you've been through to get there. Thank you so much for sharing. Made me feel very happy and hopeful. Wishing you all the very very best for next Thursday. Flowers

ababsurdum · 20/01/2016 20:35

Flotillas it's all food for thought isn't it, so many variables.

We really should dtd tonight (cd9, 11, 13, 15). I really can't be bothered though I know that I'll get into it if we do. I'm amazed anyone conceives a second with the tiredness you have from the first - I'm not exactly raring to go Smile

totalnamechanger · 21/01/2016 20:49

Hi just hopping on to say congratulations to Cloud and Grizzer and wow all the best for the next couple of weeks Flotilla (what a brilliant last post!!!). All three of you were so wise and supportive when I posted months and months ago post chemical pregnancy .

I went on holiday and when I came back couldn't keep up with the posts. I'm 41 (god 40 went fast) and ttc #2. At the moment I'm 9dpo first cycle post (or cycle of??) a thankfully easy and untraumatic miscarriage. This is a great thread- realistic, kind and funny. I'm not great at keeping up with posts but I'm keeping an eye on it and rooting for all of you