TTC after MC#6 - the lucky one for all of us!

[Romeolovesjuliet]

New thread. Hoping for lots of lovely BFPs over the coming weeks

Thanks Mega. We planted a lovely rose tree, I love it and it's a nice way to remember as it also reminds me of the strength of DH and I together and coming out the other side of something so difficult. I'm glad you got your bfn. I think even though I'm willing af to arrive, that's when I'm going to get emotional again. Hormones at the time of af always make me feel so grim and I have no doubt that coupled with the first af is going to make me have a bit of a melt down. So I'm going to plan a comforting first aid box: wine, choc, hot water bottle, some good movies, some positive reading and cuddles.

Morning everyone xx

marys - sure the cramping isn't a symptom? Willing it to be so - want to see a bfp!

Don't give up yet romeo every pregnancy is different - could still be in with a chance.

That's such a good idea about a comfort box mama - I'm due AF next week - think I might plan one of those!!

Welcome keys so sorry for your loss. Hope you find some comfort here while you wait for next bfp.

I'm 8dpo and no symptoms at all - I know it's early days ttc again but feel disappointed if that makes sense?

morning everyone, hello key and Rosie, sorry you have to be here but welcome.

key that sounds like a horrible experience. I had similar in one of my mcs, it's so difficult to see a healthy foetus and then for everything to go wrong.

Are they going to get you on some aspirin for the blood clots? I take low dose aspirin all the way from bfp to delivery as a precaution, as recommended by the rmc consultant.

Off to work soon and trying not to think about symptoms, dpo, and all the rest. I hate the 2ww crazy.it's made worse because I really wanted to be pg again by what would have been my due date in July.
Hope this is a positive and shiny day for y'all. Or at least that it contains some positive and shiny moments.

temp, I'm also desperate to be pregnant again by my due date (also July). I had a lot pinned on this month as it was my last chance to get to 12 weeks before due date. DH thinks I'm just being silly. I'm also worried the mc has messed up my body as I have always got pregnant very quickly in the past. The rational side of me knows it doesn't work like that but unfortunately my rational side doesn't appear very often!
Still, lovely sunny day here and it's my Friday and off to the farm tomorrow with the DCs and my best friend and her DCs so must be grateful for that.
Fx for those of you still waiting Mary's Disney temp and anyone else. I think I will just wait for AF to come Sunday or Monday at latest - great anniversary present!).
Have a good day everyone.

temp Do you think I could take a small dose now as I want to try again? Or is it only when you get a bfp?

I cant believe im back here seeing things about the apprehension the 2ww causes after being pregnant so recently I just been through all the heartache of the 2ww and now I will be driving you all crazy this time next month with symptoms spotting lol.

The support on here is so so lovely. And again I am sorry to have read through your journeys and heartache. Life is not fair. I watched a programme last night a lady had 10 children etc and got so angry I lost mine but thats going to happen now with the emotional state I am in.

You will always think oh my 20 week scan would of been today or my due date would be next month and its so hard but its lovely to have a chat room like this so we can all hand hold.

Again so sorry to hear about your losses and gl with the bfp. Looks like the room is due one soon :).

Thanks for lovely welcome. Just one question if anyone can help me. I had the op on Sunday to have baby removed and bleeding lightened up yesterday. Today I am really heavy and feeling extremely low. Silly question but is this like a period for me now for my cycle to start over again or is this still the mc? How long did you bleed for before it started to ease up? Sorry for bringing back the emotions :(. xxx

keys I think if the op was only Sunday it's probably unfortunately still the mc. I didn't have the op version but I think you can bleed on and off for a couple of weeks and it be perfectly normal. Hope it all gets better soon for you xxx

keys I had an erpc after my first mc - from memory I bled like a period for about a week but I wasn't as far along as you as baby had stopped growing at about 6 wks. I did conceive DD that cycle so it can't have been much longer than that - did they give you any idea of what to expect at hospital? I think it's normal for it to stop and start a bit but if it's very heavy and you're in a lot of pain I would call them. Hope it settles soon.

Hey keys I hope you're ok. My bleeding was very stop-start (as were my emotions!) after MC so it sounds normal to me.... be kind to yourself today. Agree with romeo if it's painful you should call the hospital though.

Sending strength and positivity to those with due dates upcoming... I'm dreading mine!

Loving the AF first aid kit - I'm going to get the wine in the fridge ready for mine! Although heaven knows when it will actually turn up now... will be another week at least for me. Mama is your flow any better today?

Morning !

Can I just ask....... Is anyone actually scared of getting pregnant again ? If you know what I mean ? I feel like the mc has taken away any naivety and excitement I would have had about a first pregnancy ? I feel like (and this is assuming I do get pg again at some point obvs) I won't feel happy at even a 20 week scan as I'll just be safe guarding my feelings in case this happens again ? I know you just can't think like that and the ladies on here who have gone on to get a bfp say you tell yourself 'today I am pregnant' and that's all you can do but the thought of scans used to excite me and now they fill me with dread.......and I'm not even pg yet ????? I think it's such a shame !!

Morning everyone.

Welcome to the newbies-sorry you find yourselves here but it's very supportive. I'm in awe of the strength of the ladies on this thread.
temp and romeo I too am desperate to be pregnant by my EDD. I'm scared of that day approaching if it hasn't happened by now. I also feel all messed up by the MC-I got pregnant pretty quickly with my DC and now it's almost 6 months since my MC and I'm slowly losing my sanity over temping, opks, bums on pillows and now excessive vitamin supplements.

mama was it you who told your mum about the MC-well done for finding the strength. Sometimes the words are so hard. My mum knows but not my MiL even though we are really close. I will tell her one day...

What else has anyone done to remember their loss? I want to plant something, but not sure what and a bit scared that it might die....I might look into it a bit more and plan to plant it on my EDD

adventure yep, completely terrified about being pg again. Innocence lost. If it happens this cycle, we will be abroad around the time I had the MC-that also scares me.

adventure I am the wrong person to advise you on this atm as I am just desperate to get pg again as I am hurting my loss so much. However I can imagine when I do fall again I wont relax at all everyday I will be like my sickness has gone my boobs are not sore etc etc. I will be in EPU more than anyone I know. The pregnancy I just lost I was not relaxed at all and I had 3 scans and everything was fine for reassurance but it still happened so I will wont enjoy it next time however if I fall and lose again I will stop for a few years as the heartache is to much. But I am scared very scared to fall again so your not on your own hun and we will all be hand holding.

Thanks for your responses guys the bleeding has lightened up again. I just have the most painful trapped wind its killing me. Once bleeding has stopped I feel ready to DTD again im just so scared. I have had a cry this morning im feeling better. I just wish the heavy heart would subside a little I still sit here thinking im pregnant its not fair. I am in a dilemma my DD breaks up for half term today and my parents have said lets go caravan for the bank holiday so the girls have something to do but I dont want to leave my OH he has to work long hours and told me to go but of a night him just being there helps me so much having that cuddle. What would you guys do? I cant get close to OH until next week anyway so maybe I just need to recover but when your carrying a heavy heart around you just dont know what is for the best.

Oh keys you have been through a horrible thing that no one should have to deal with. The pain will be so raw right now. I know I cried daily in the shower for a few weeks after my MC (and at other times too). It does lessen with time, even if it doesn't go completely.
If it was me I'd be tempted to go away-if depends on how close you are to your parents. If they can give you the support/shoulder to cry on if needed then actually a break might be good? Something else to focus on with your DD?

adventure I do know what you mean. I worried myself to bits about my first pregnancy and naively felt that I couldn't possibly feel any more anxious, even after a loss. Now I know different! And I feel very lucky that I was able to relax after the 20 week scan and enjoy things - not sure I would again, not completely anyway. Although I think in some ways I've lost that need to preserve my feelings too. For me, the sadness I had after my MC wouldn't have been eased by not letting myself get excited. I'm still really glad I had those few weeks of happiness. So if I do get another BFP I'm going to try really hard to hang onto that. Easier said than done I imagine!

Well I'm officially depressed - Tmi but just been to the loo and AF has started only 8 days post ovulation so there was never a chance this cycle . Hope it's because it was the wtf cycle and not the start of phase problems.

I was hoping I'd get a week of hope still at least

Hi [keys] I'm so sorry for your loss and everything that you've been through. Just awful. I had a miscarriage on Friday at almost 12 weeks (mmc between 6-8 weeks ... Symptoms were so strong up to 10/11 weeks). It was an incomplete miscarriage and really painful. Had to have surgery to remove the rest and lost an excessive amount of blood.

Up to yesterday I was still bleeding ... A bit like the last day or two of a period. Today I've not really had any, but I know that may change tomorrow. Was still having weird pains down below ... Almost like I could feel my cervix closing... Like after birth, really strange! I feel a bruised feeling when I need a wee or have trapped wind too. I hope this reassures you a bit?

The idea of buying a plant to remember the little beans, is such a lovely idea. Actually just brought a tear to my eye. Although I'm rubbish with plants, so may get my green fingered husband to plant something in the garden ... Think that will actually help him feel like he's helping me and in a bit of control if you see what I mean?

I too will be so anxious if I'm lucky enough to catch again. I had a very early mc before my DD and spent the preg with her as a nervous wreck. The frustrating part was that people didn't understand and got cross with me for being so 'down' .... Was made to feel like I was doing it for attention! When in actual fact I didn't feel comfortable with people congratulating me until she was here! But I think unless someone has experienced a loss it can be so hard to convey the utter fear that you carry everyday. Then with this pregnancy, I was so shocked it had happened and so stressed about whether I was ready, I totally took for granted how fragile the first months are and it ended in mc. So you can't really win!

blah!

I'm back to work next Tuesday ... Coupled with holiday I've had nearly 4 weeks off by that point ... So no doubt I'll have so much to do!!

Disney .. So sorry af arrived! I'm sure it'll just be your body settling down again as it's been through a lot, keep positive Hun.

Excuse my stupidness but what does wtf cycle mean?!

disney I thought I remembered you from another post and though you had a recent mc. I am so sorry hun I really am. Holding onto the hope you fall the month you lose is so emotionally high as I am feeling it already. I suppose the only comfort you can take from this is you are now over the WTF cycle and start calculating things. Not filling you with hope hun but are you heavy could be spotting? You must of ovulated a week after you mc thats so unlucky you got caught off guard like that hun.
Nothing I can say right now is going to make you feel better hun I am just truly so sorry for your loss and now this added emotion. Your not alone I am hand holding with you right now and hoping within the next few months we get out bfp's again. It will happen. for us all on here it will happen.

Big hugs hunixxx

Wtf is the first cycle after mc before first proper AF when you think "what the f*" is going on. (Or at least I think that's what it means?!)

keys only you can decide but I would be tempted to go away. A change of scenery often helps.
Disney so sorry for AF - I'm sure it's just because it's the wtf cycle.
I vividly remember being terrified at my 20 week scan with DD. I had some early bleeding with her and was pregnant so quickly after mc I was convinced something was wrong. The sonographer actually said to me 'don't you want to look at the screen' - I had been waiting for bad news. I was a bit better with DS but truly I don't think you can ever relax until they are in your arms (and then it's a whole different worry)! I can't imagine getting through the early weeks when/if I am pregnant again but you just do and I agree I am also determined to try and enjoy it and treasure it for the precious time that it is.

Unfortunately it's not spotting and I know when I ovulated as I feel it and confirmed with OPK. Mc was 25 April and ovulated last weds. So I suppose AF isn't far from wrong from a how many weeks post mc point of view but too soon after ovulation to get pregnant.

Hopefully it's just a weird month with the mc and it'll be back to normal next month. Just hard as I know we covered the days around ov so was hoping we'd at least have a chance

honey looks like were similar positions I am so sorry for your loss as well. You seem very strong. I just cry lol. And still in disbelief we thought as like you we was there :(.

wtf cycle means what me and you have now no idea when we are going to ovulate for our next cycle as weve just had a mc so we could ovulate straight after we stop bleeding or in 3 weeks time or even now we just dont know in limbo whereas before we knew our dates and when to expect our next period etc etc.

Hand holding with you as well heres hoping to a bfp again soon.

I am sorry disney I really feel for you right now.

Ah ok, wtf makes sense now! I thought that's what it was :)

I'm just trying to stay positive and hopeful as have been down a really anxious road before when ttc DD. I really don't want to feel like that again ... Having said that it was so worth the wait! As it will be for all of you lovely ladies. It's just pooey waiting isn't it!

Probably going to 'hop back on' next week and hope for the best! X

Same here looks like we will be testing aroud the same time as well. fx for you hun xxx

Think I am going to go get myself some wine for tonight. Thanks you again ladies for excepting me into your group and making me so welcome at this at time xxx