Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

[JessieMcJessie]

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

Oh, and neetie ... yes, onto the next try!! I know it feels crappy to get af, but at least you get a 'fresh slate' straight afterwards with the chance to try again! :-)

Sorry they were so dismissive Sparrow, you'd think that fertility docs of all people would have a decent bedside manner. neetie onwards and upwards.

Thanks guys...still no af yet though. Cramping since sunday on and off feeling very bloated, occasional brown discharge when wiping but no bleed. Tomorrow is day 27..

Well af is here :( still onto next month I guess

Thanks ladies for your support, maybe as my DH said he was just having a bad day
Have a good weekend all x

Hello, nothing happening here, just waiting for AF to come .

So, as you might remember, I am about to leave Hong Kong this week. We have been seeing lots of clients for meeting for me to say goodbye and to introduce my replacement. This afternoon I was with clients and was with a group of them walking to a meeting room and one Chinese lady I have worked with a lot rushes up to me and grabs my hand " Congratulations! congratulations!" I smile but am a bit confused at why she is congratulating me for leaving, then she says " When is the due date?" I suddenly realise I am wearing a pencil skirt that is snug around my stomach area, and I have been doing a lot of eating and drinking in the run up to leaving....for a split second I wonder whether to just say "er January" and hope she never follows up, but eventually have to say " Gosh, no sorry I'm not having a baby but yes we are hoping to soon...." total wish ground would swallow us both, she is mortified, I am mortified....

I am never wearing this skirt again. What a head fuck.

Oh Jessie, oh my gosh! Is that a cultural thing there for people to be quite, er, 'forward' with their comments?!

That once happened to me, too (I happened to be abroad at the time too) I was on public transport and was wearing a particular coat that cut me off just under the chest, so I guess it looked a bit like maternity wear (well, obviously it did ...) A lady asked me if I was preggers and almost started standing up to let me sit down. Oh my gosh, soooo embarrassed!!

All the best with the move next week! An exciting change looms!

As for me, not much going on, apart from the beginnings of af rumblings I think (only about 9dpo so I guess there's still hope but this is when my 'rumblings' seem to start these days). Also, went to the hospital yesterday for another scan and all was fine. The nurse is recommending that we go for our free IVF round asap. Oh my goodness ... so scary!!!

Yeah the Chinese are very big on commenting about appearance. They also tend not to be fat, I suspect it did not compute that I might have around stomach and not be up the duff, esp as they know we got married a year ago and of course it is absolutely standard to procreate immediately, and I am leaving so they might think that was the reason. Don't really blame her but it just felt so shit to have to say no. Looks like we may end up doing IVF at the same time....dis you have the HSG yet? I am not wild about the idea of the drugs but frankly this TTC is getting me down and just want to get on with the next stage. Though good friend was recently telling me in detail about how bad her 7 year old's behaviour had got and put me off whole idea a bit.

Good luck with your move and journey home Jessie.
Another positive story for those about to do IVF, my friend's sister is pregnant again at 40 from IVF with a sperm donor. She did have to go through three rounds this time mind you, but got there in the end
I was with my friend (42) on Saturday who is also about to go down the IVF route, hopefully there will be a happy outcome there too.
I am expecting AF next week, on the day DH and I go camping in Cornwall of course, I am always unlucky with timing there, I even got my AF on my wedding day!!
Hi Annie, haven't seen you in a while, hope you are ok?

Hello, can I sidle up and join in on this chat?
I've spent the past hour or so looking through this thread - it's warm and grounding and more real for me than the others. I've just turned 40 and, like many others here, met the fella a bit later than I necessarily intended to, having been busy doing other life things or meeting the wrong people up til then. But we've been together for just over a year and decided early on that we wouldn't be particularly careful and if a baby arrived, that'd be grand and naturally I'd get my feet rubbed forever after. Yes, that was definitely how the conversation went, I remember it exactly....
Anyhow, now we're actually trying, though as it's only been three or four months we haven't been particularly good at monitoring or checking or recording or [what's the acronym for sex?] at exactly the right moments. Although I do know that we did time pretty well this cycle and I am 10dpo today and not as twingey crampy today as yesterday. I do know that I could obsess about these things and fritter away time and energy...
Anyhow, I'm going to try to call by every couple of days and see what's going on with the others here in their different routes to pregnancy. Thank you all for the insights and your stories - you tell them well.

Hi Juno and welcome. We're all in it together!

Hi Juno75 ... great to have you join us! Glad you've felt inspired already by the thread, although sorry there aren't more success stories ... hopefully there will be in the end! :-)

Jessie, all the best with the move (sorry, can't remember whether I already said that!) I know what you mean about IVF. It was what I dreaded when we first started, and I can't believe we've got to that point. Sigh. Still hoping for a miracle before we start! :-)

Thanks Jessie and HS26.
I presume you're right in the middle of moving continents now Jessie? That can't be easy.
I'm very much back at the boring stages of logging pretty much nothing after af came at the weekend. Still there must be chemical waves of desperation floating about as both sets of our parents asked if we were planning to have kids this weekend (as in, asked this weekend. Apparently it takes longer than a couple of days to actually have a baby).
Quickly followed up with whether we were planning to get married... that was from my mum. In her defence, that wasn't out of a sense of the traditional, but that succession, guardianship etc is easier when you're married. Fortunately, me and he had already talked about this and come to the same conclusions, for the same unromantic reasons.
Holidays can't come soon enough to talk and talk and talk and plan and do whatever else is necessary to catch a baby in your belly..

Hi All
I've been away from this site for a while, busy finishing work for the summer and making plans.
Long story short, I decided to take some of the advice I got here and from friends ...I'm off to Cyprus for IVF in a few weeks!!!!
Eek!!! Scared and excited at the same time!
Received my medication today, wondering how I will deal with my needle phobia. Watched the 'official' videos online about how to mix and injection medication, but my hands were still shaking when I was looking at the medication today. Trying not to think about it for now, still got a week or so til I need to do that.
Sometimes I feel that I am jumping ahead of myself, but with the very low AMH and results from the Antral follicle count (just one seen on each ovary)
I think it's the right thing to do to give myself the best chance of a family.

Hope everyone is doing well,
X

Am on hols (with in-laws!) at the moment so can't do a long post but will update properly soon. Very exciting daisy, sure the injections will be second nature in no time, look forward to hearing more.

Yes, very exciting, Daisy! Well done for being so proactive and brave and just going for it! Plus you get a holiday in Cyprus! Bonus!

The injecting does sound pretty awful, but you can do it!! I had to do that once after an op, and it wasn't so bad after the first time ...

:-)

Hey all, it's been a bit quiet in here lately but thought I'd pop back in with an update. Had my very first contact with healthcare here today with a 12 week scan at Kings. You can self refer to the midwives which I'm thankful for as still haven't sorted out a GP. Booking appt in a couple of weeks. Everything seems as average as you can get. Midpoint average on every chart and measurement. Scan and bloods today saw my DS risk shoot from the standard 1:53 for my age to 1:1061. That's a relief! If I'd been less than 1:1000 I'd have got a complimentary Harmony test as part of a research study here. I'm feeling very reassured.
The journey so far has been smooth sailing. No negative side effects. Touch wood it continues this uneventfully.
Good luck everyone. So far I'm living proof of an over 40; with a perfectly normal and boringly average 1st pregnancy. I couldn't hope for more.

Hi Frog ... what great news! It is indeed very reassuring and I wish you all the best for the coming weeks. :-)

You're right, it's been a bit quiet around here lately. From my point of view, nothing really new to report, which is why I haven't posted much over the last couple of weeks. I'm getting to the point where I just expect af to arrive every month ... will be such a shock if it ever actually does happen!

Are you back in the UK yet, Jessie? If so, really hope you're settling back in well!

Hi I'm still here too but nothing much to report.

AF due on 8th August and fully expect her to turn up. DH says that he wants us to try but then doesn't seem to be up for it at my most fertile times. Don't want to put pressure on him but time is running out with my age.

Have decided am really going to be more positive next month and just tell DH that it is the right time! Am sure he won't mind at all!!

Hope everyone else is well. Frog is great to hear your good news and I too wish you all the best.

Hi all,

Happy Friday

Great news Frog, also wishing you a continuing stress free pregnancy.

Nothing new to report here either. As predicted got AF the day before going camping which should have been a sign of things to come. We abandoned ship early as the weather was so bad, gales and rain no good in a tent!

Got back and of course had letter from hospital for HSG test, had missed day to call them for this month so will have to wait now till next.

Good luck Daisy with the trip to Cyprus, what a nice place to go and get treatment, I hope it goes well for you.

Have a good weekend all.

I'm starting my mediation tomorrow for IVF and I am FREAKING OUT about injecting myself, to the point where I am thinking of backing out.
Someone suggested a numbing cream, but it needs to be on for 1 hr and wrapped up. I tried it earlier and this made me feel faint cos it made me think about the injection the whole time. So it is not helping or making it easier.
Argh!!! I know it will easier after the first time, but that first time!!
Sorry, can't talk to anyone about it where I am at the moment and need to vent
I hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to seeing a few summer BFPs on here soon.

Just a quick one to say hi to Frog and so pleased to hear your news, and to wish Daisy best of luck with the injections. if it is a pen like I had for gonal f when I did IUI it is literally painless and sure you will be absolutely fine. Mind over matter.

Not much to report here, loving being back in London. Had first appt at Guy's last week but just taking bloods and form filling so not much to report, big step forward will be when we see the consultant a week on Thursday. Can't come soon enough. In the meantime we are coming up on a fertile window but if ovulation alternates it will be a right side month and so probably a dead loss. We'll try anyway though.
Have been looking at houses today ( on Internet) and wandering round bits of London we like. Hard to plan ahead when we don't know if we'll need to take a child into account in the future and it seems to be tempting fate to make decisions based on the assumption that we will. I guess though that if it doesn't work out we just turn a child's room into a dressing room instead.

Jessie, I have to mix the injection up first, so it's not great for someone with a massive needle phobia (6 glass vials to mix with 2 saline solutions)
Also my first effort has left
Me with what looks like a massive painful HK mossie bite!
Some kind ladies on another thread have given me some advice and kind words. I have just done my second injection and tried to do it slower as advised, so hopefully there will be less pain tomorrow.
Finding the whole thing a little traumatic at the moment, although reading other people's journeys I know I am being a wuss.
Good to hear the ball is rolling in the UK for you Jessie, I am sure I Read in a few places that they have recently discovered that eggs aren't always releases from alternate ovaries (as we were led to believe). So don't dismiss this cycle!
answers.webmd.com/answers/1193299/does-ovulation-always-rotate-from-one

Jessie, the house problem sounds like a nice problem to have, but I know what you mean. I have been sort of 'putting my life on hold' since we started ttc (subconsciously, mostly) and now am trying to get on with things as if it's not going to happen .. but still remaining hopeful, if that makes sense. It's hard to know how to plan, though! ;-)

I wanted to ask you how you feel about starting a new job and doing IVF at the same time? Are you worried about taking the time off for the appointments etc, or are you just going to take it as it comes?

It's just that I'm probably going to be in a similar position soon. Starting a new job very soon, and it's probably going to coincide with our NHS IVF if I send the forms off now as I was planning to. I'm considering delaying the IVF for a month or so too, just not to pile so much stress on myself all at once. What do you think? (I guess I'm hoping that by delaying a bit we might not need it, too!!)

Daisy, really proud of you! It must be hard and I'm dreading it all too ... I had to inject myself once after an operation, though, and I have to say the thought of it was far worse than the reality. Hope you've got used to it already! Keep us updated! :-)