Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

[JessieMcJessie]

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

Just thought I'd add my story - my ex boss who's in his mid 50s his mum had him at 45. Perfectly healthy! Just goes to show

Yet another almost imperceptible line on this morning's FRER, made the mistake of showing DH who said he could see nothing at all and now thinks I am a crazy line-imagining delusional TTC obsessive. 1 minute looking - "nope, try again tomorrow" and that will no doubt be the last it crosses his mind today.
I can see it though, albeit only in certain light, and it is a micro- smidgen darker than yesterday. However did a CB Digi which was negative. They are less sensitive though so not giving up yet. Only thing is that these persisten pale lines since Friday make me think a chemical is most likely outcome. Am obviously overthinking it, so will stop now.
And before you ask, I can't get a photo in which it's visible, that's how faint it is!

Hey there. Is it illegal to write on several threads at once about the same topic? Anyhoo, I'm 39 and TTC #1. We've only been trying for a couple of months and already I feel disheartened. So much negativity in the press, worried about my age etc. Have I left it too late? Hoping to share the good and bad with some fellow "old" TTCers...

Hi Citybuympkin - nope, certainly nothing like illegal! Welcome! If I were you, I'd try to relax a bit for the moment - you might find it a lot easier than most of us as you're a bit younger. Although I've been trying for over a year now but I know that the stress and frustration was no less after just a couple of months!

Jessie ... ooh, you must be on tenterhooks. Why are these things never totally straight-forward??! I did once get one of those super duper faint lines like you're describing. I got my hopes up for a bit and then af came a few hours later :-( It was probably one of those evaporation lines as I think I might have been reading it after 5 minutes. It sounds like you are consistently getting the lines though within the proper time frame.

Sounds like there is still that glimmer of hope for you. Who knows how long it might take for the lines to start showing up - they do say (in an ideal world!) to wait to test until af is due because some people won't test positive until then - I'm sure I'm not telling you anything new here (we're all experts now on all these things ...teehee)

Anyway ... stay cool. Still got my fingers x'd for you! :-) xx

HS26, thanks for the compliment . Its all a bit new to me so please bear with me! Acronyms, bad messages from the media, etc. I guess I'm just an impatient soul. Panic overload!

Hi citybumpkin and a warm welcome - post on as many threads as you want, nobody on MN will mind unless you completely contradict yourself from one thread to another. As HS said, you're a young thing compared to most of us on here so try not to worry and just get going.

Though my one tip might be to take DHEA as it seems to have produced results for me....touch wood. I bought a Superdrug test as research told me they are even more sensitive than FRER and got a positive this morning that was actually visible to the naked eye without squinting under bright light!

It's still bloody faint though, and I am concerned that on the most sensitive test out there on the day my AF is due the line should be a lot darker, so I'm only half allowing myself to hope it's not another chemical like I had in April. I don't have any other symptoms and my boobs are resolutely non-painful and exactly the same modest size as always!

Fingers crossed please everyone!

Still scared to do a digital but looking good so far...

Hey Jessie - high five! You're going to make me come over all American. Congratulations (again)! (Oh I so love being right!) There's so much variability in when you could've ovulated, when it implanted .... just believe a line's a line and you are well and truly, brilliantly, pregnant.

On the lack of 'symptoms'; I think its a bit early for most people. And I never had painful boobs when pregnant with my DD - well not until about 4-5 days after she was born, my milk came in and they began an (all-to-brief) impression of Dolly Parton.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas being pregnant in your new house. And if its cold you can have a little bonfire of those IVF drugs.

I've got to ask though - I'm fascinated by your perspective on DHEA. How many weeks had you been taking it when you conceived?

Jessie ... just been looking at your BFP photo. A very definite line - and a pretty good one for the expected day of AF I'd say. x

Ha ha, Chewy talking of "when I conceived" in the past tense seems too surreal for me at the moment.

I double checked the other day as I was curious about that myself - I ordered the DHEA on 25 September and it arrived about a week later so let's say I started around 2 or 3 October (75mg a day) - that would make it only system before what seems like a "good" egg popped out.

I didn't take any yesterday or today, just being cautious, on the basis that it seems to have done its job now and taking anything unusual during pregnancy is not advised.

Thansk for the boob info - that's very reassuring! And loving the IVF bonfire!

oh, missed out the key words "for about 5-6 weeks" in the post above.

Fingers well and truly x'ed Jessie!

DHEA? New to this. Which do you recommend? Already taking various supplements as veggie: multivit plus iron; eve primrose; vit D; B complex; royal jelly; folic acid; omega 369. Am I going overboard?

Amazing news jessie fingers firmly crossed. Can I ask a v personal question about how many times you dtd in run up to expected ovulation.,I'm on that run now and can't decide between every day versus every other day. Be good to hear your thoughts.
And welcome on board chewie

Ha ha, ask away wotsit. I actually mentioned it above when discussiong OPKs with lilli -

We were told by doc that every other day was better to replenish DH's sperm properly, but this time I said sod it and we went for every day from the evening of the day when I first got the positive OPK in the morning and the 2 days after that.

Here's the link to the DHEA that I used

www.dhea-uk.com/home.php and bumpkin if you look at the post from chewygiraffe on 16 November at 16. 01 her links have all sorts of info about DHEA.

I also took co-enzyme Q10 (ubiquinol, 300mg daily search pureclinica on Amazon) and DH has been taking Wellman, 1000mg vit C and co-enzyme Q10 since July, which seems to have perked up his formerly misshapen swimmers no end.

Could all be total coincidence of course and at the moment I have no idea if this is even a viable pregnancy, but it's progress.

Fingers and toes crossed for you Jessie

Oh, sorry wotsit misread your question, it was about pre-ovulation! I reckon I ovulated on the 9th and we did it on the 4th and 7th as well as what I said above ( got pos OPK on the 8th).

Thanks Jessie. I will have a gander. Also looking at COQ10 but worried that I will start to rattle!? OH is a real health freak - veggie, no plastics, microwaves, loads of salads, olive oil (Med diet) so kinda hoping his swimmers are going swimmingly. Around ov we DTD every day...

Wow, Jessie! Just caught up with your amazing news.

That is a definite, definite LINE!

Well done, congratulations .... brilliant! :-)

Citybumpkin ... I'm taking DHEA & coq10 too. Been taking it about the same time as Jessie, so fingers crossed it will have the same effect for me!!

Brilliant news jessie! Fingers firmly x'd for you that this is the one!!

Ok so the supplements may help. COQ10 on tomorrow's shopping list and now googling DHEA. Any advice re maca? I really don't want to overdo the supplements.

Just to say that you guys/gals have been lovely already. It's so nice after negativity from friends, family and the bloody internet to have some comrades! Thank you and good luck to all, especially Jessie though in her current "lined" state

Hello All,
Hope it’s ok for me to join you? I’ve been lurking around in the background on and off, but haven’t joined any discussions yet. Just signed up to mumsnet today especially to say ‘congratulations’ to Jessie!
I’m a newbie like citybumpkin, though a bit older (41). This is our first proper month of ttc. I knew nothing at all about the world of ttc until I stumbled upon mumsnet! I learned about opk’s here, and immediately ordered some. Then, I found out about bbt’s and so started charting. Got my head around both of those (opk’s and bbt’s) and started using them both simultaneously this last cycle – I had everything planned, and then dh had to go out of town for work at exactly the wrong time! I still held out hope that maybe we could still get pg from dtd before he left, but my 2ww has just ended with the arrival of af :( . I’ve realised the 2ww is the hardest part for me. Each day feels like a whole week, and I over-analyse every ‘possible’ symptom. Af arriving nearly 3 days later than last month didn’t help…by then, I had convinced myself that maybe, just maybe, I was pg. And even when af turned up, I thought it was the implantation bleeding I’d recently read about!
Anyway, hope to get to know everyone here and hopefully we’ll all have some good news soon.

Thanks everyone! Now at home waiting for DH to get home so I can tear him off a strip for not believing me yesterday .

Bumpkin there is a book called " It starts with the egg" by Rebecca Fett which you can get on kindle. In it she goes through the pros and cons of all sorts of supplements. Like any of the million fertility books and websites out there you have to approach it with a healthy degree of scepticism but she is biochemist I think and I felt her scientific analysis was fairly credible. Whole chapters on DHEA AND CO-q10. I was wary of DHEA until HS went for a pre IVF consultation and her consultant told her to take it then I thought "what the fck" and just ordered some.

The key thing for the coq10 is it must be ubiquinol not ubiquinone and it must be at least 300mg a day.

Once again, I stress that I have not one shred of evidence that taking these things got me my BFP, but looks like they definitely didn't hurt.

Hi Layla our posts crossed- so nice you signed up to congratulate me . Be careful though, it's a bit addictive...

Sounds like you are in a similar boat to the rest of us. Fingers crossed there is some good luck in the air. After 1 year, 1 blocked tube, diagnosis 2 bad sperm analyses, 1 chemical pregnancy, one failed IUI and a failed IVF I can honestly say I am very glad I started this thread to have people to share it all with.

Bumpkin I'm actually really surprised you say friends and family have been negative. Pretty much all of mine were sure it would be no problem conceiving and were really shocked when I told them about all the negative stuff I had read re fertility after 40. They did start to cotton on when they realised no good news was forthcoming but even then they never blamed my age (to my face anyway)...you need new friends- and here we are .

Helllo and welcome Layla, fellow newbie! I see you too are getting the hang of the lingo. The arrival of AF is a big . TBH I had been secretly hoping for years to be pregnant, even with the ex, but each month . I'm just hoping that I don't get too obsessed.

Jessie how are things going this evening? Hope all is well. Purchased the "egg" book and stayed up far too late last night reading. Yep, noticed the supplement chapters. Thanks for the advice re the COQ10...I was wondering. Anything is worth a try!

Some friends have been okay but its the "well you need to get on with it then. Time is running out" etc comments that are beginning to grate. My mum did say one thing positive when I was in tears last year after ex left - "well your gran had me at nearly 41". Small comfort but... I just need some positivity and you people seem to have it in bucketloads .