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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

999 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2014 13:00

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

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Daisyboo1203 · 04/08/2015 19:50

Hi HS26
I am getting through it, but panic over the 2 injections on same day from Thursday and all the injections to come.
To be honest, the worst now is the pain afterwards, the next day! Struggle to move, massive welts.
Thigh was more painful, but bearable the next day, still limping and hard to sit. The first 3 injection sites still painful.
Hard to think of the bigger picture when I'm reminded of my worse phobia ever time I move

AnnieHoo · 09/08/2015 01:02

Congratulations frog!Grin

Hi sparrow and citizen and welcome juno!SmileSmileSmile

Hello anyone I've forgotten, it's been a while!! X
Hello! I've been away for ages but back and in tww again! Decided to give it a few more months of trying. Feel so much better now after mc.

Daisy that doesn't sound right, you shouldn't be in that much pain. sounds awful Sad. It must be the protocol that you are on, are you injecting into muscle? I didn't have any injections into muscle only my flabby stomach which was near painless and easy. Can you ask them to give you a pen instead of needles? Not sure if that's poss but worth a try as your phobia sounds bad. Stick in there, it's hard but we are here for you xx

Hs26 I found the worst part of IVF by far was the scheduling. I did it last year just after starting a new job and tried not to tell new boss but ended up telling him everything and he was great but it was so stressful as I live a flight away from the clinic so paid a fortune for last min flights and had to make up stories about where I was going! Best thing is to clear your calendar completely and if you need to take a sickie. I didn't need to but many people do to avoid questions about last minute time off. So hard juggling new job and IVF. I think my work was substandard last year as a result Blush. Why do these big things in our lives all happen at the same time??!

jessie so glad to here you're loving being back in London. I used to live in Islington before coming back to Scotland. Hope you are well and making progress with clinics.

Daisyboo1203 · 09/08/2015 20:36

Anniehoo, it is getting a bit easier, but still got red welts all over my stomach, perhaps I'm just sensitive to them. I am injecting into stomach fat.
Last day for the double (or could be triple with the hgc one) tomorrow. Good, cod I literary have no space left
Just taking it one day at a time.
Tomorrow I have a scan to decide when to get the ball rolling. Yikes!!

And to make life even more fun......my case decided not to come with me on the plane!! So tomorrow I will be going for a scan wearing the same clothes I flew in, minus underwear!!!
They have got the bag at the airport now, but no one to bring it here until tomorrow afternoon.
Trying not to weep at the moment.... This time tomorrow I will nearly be on an injection break!!! ????

Daisyboo1203 · 09/08/2015 20:38

And forgot to mention, the medication for today's injection are in the case!!!
They arranged for me to pick up replacement meds at the hospital. I was sitting there, exhausted after a 4am start to the day, not knowing what was happening, trying not to cry. It got sorted though.

HS26 · 09/08/2015 20:41

Hi Annie!!

Really encouraged that you're feeling good and trying again. I think I would be doing the same as you ... you just never know!

Thanks for sharing your experience too about starting a new job and IVF at the same time. I haven't decided for sure yet but I'm thinking of maybe delaying the IVF for a couple of months just so that it literally won't be the same month as I start my job. I was thinking of keeping it simple and just telling them that I've got a few hospital appointments just come through ... terrible timing but hey, sorry, what can I do?

Just can't believe I'm even in this position. I actually don't have much hope of the IVF working ... not because I'm being negative but just because the statistics of a live birth are so low (about 15% tops). But just seems silly not to take the opportunity as it's free!!

SparrowSG · 10/08/2015 16:58

HS did you have your HSG test yet? I am probably going in for mine at the end of this month so was just wondering if you went already and how it was?

JessieMcJessie · 10/08/2015 17:21

Daisy what a pain about the case, but how exciting you are already in Cyprus! Very best of luck.

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Daisyboo1203 · 10/08/2015 21:21

Case arrived this evening!!! Yay! (I have emergency chocolate in there!!)

I had my scan today, 4 good sized follicles and good lining (7mm I think), they said. As they wanted me to do trigger shot tonight and my last injections were in my case somewhere at the airport, they did the injections there. The nurse asked why I kept
Injections into same site, I had to explain I didn't, that was how big each individual one comes up. Very happy thing
Part is over. They trigger injection was easier as it was a very thin needle. I even caught myself saying 'that's a lovely one!' Haha.
Egg collection on Wednesday! Exciting and scary!!!
Tomorrow a drug free day! Going to relax at the pool!

AnnieHoo · 10/08/2015 22:37

Enjoy your drug free day daisy! Grow follicles grow!!

HS26 · 11/08/2015 11:32

Oh Daisy! Sounds like it hasn't been a walk in the park so far but you're getting through it and things are looking good (and up with that drug-free day tomorrow!) Definitely concentrate on relaxing at that pool!

Sparrow, I'm not sure if it was an HSG I had? (I always get really mixed up with what everything's called). It was just the blood test they give you in first few days of cycle to see how much effort your body is putting into producing eggs (I think). I think the lower that number the better and mine was OK.

Maybe Jessie or someone else has had that one? Anyway, best of luck with it. I'm sure it'll be fine (so far everything I've had done has been). Let us know how it goes. :-)

HS26 · 11/08/2015 11:34

Oh sorry, Sparrow, actually I'm being dumb ...

I just looked up what that test is and yes I was going to have it. I've decided to wait until after my NHS IVF though ... I will do it though ... good info to know ...

HS26 · 13/08/2015 08:40

Just a quick question for those of you who've had a bfp before ... did you feel any different during the 2ww? Did you get your usual pmt symptoms?

As soon as I get my usual pmt feelings, I just assume I'm out again for the month. What do you think? (I know there's probably no concrete answer to this, but just wondering about personal experiences ....)

Hope everyone's OK! I'm surviving. Have been pushing ttc to the back of my mind a bit to give myself a mental rest from it, but ended up going to sleep last night feeling a bit down, like it will never happen. Had a really bad night's sleep and now am annoyed with myself for letting that happen!!

JessieMcJessie · 13/08/2015 20:16

Hello all. Daisy I guess you must have had the egg collection by now, hope it went OK.
sparrow you asked HS about the HSG. I had one last month. It was a bit unpleasant but bearable. I'd say I was on the table for 15 minutes or so, but they did have to give me an injection to see if it relaxed spasm in one of my tubes, then do another x ray so possibly it's shorter if both tubes come up OK the first time they put the dye through. The injection of the dye feels a bit odd - that sort of "internal pain" if that makes sense, in that you are aware of feeling in bits of you that never normally have any sensation but with these things I tend to try to think that if I can't cope with that pain then I will never cope with labour so I had better suck it up! Unfortunately it showed that my right tube is blocked,no idea how or why that happened.

HS the month I had my BFP I felt exactly the same as normal but I don't get any particular pre-menstrual symptoms to be honest, other than being in a bad mood, and of course my pregnancy turned out not to be a strong one so I am probably not the best example. Fingers crossed for you.

So, some concrete news from me at last! Today we saw the doctor at Guy's for a scan and to go through our results and options. Good news and bad news. The extremely unexpected good news was that DH's sperm quality has rocketed from less than 1% normal morphology to 7% normal morphology, which is well within the normal range (4 or above). I had him on vitamins and I think he may have been drinking a bit less but who knows. The test for morphology is done by the human eye,maybe British lab techs are less critical than Hong Kong ones? So that means we don't need ICSI, just normal IVF.

The bad news is that my AMH (blood test for ovarian reserve) has plummeted from 9.8 in February to 3.3. 9.8 was in the middle of the "low but normal for your forties" bracket, 3.3 is right at the bottom of that bracket- below 3 and you are "very low". Doc said that the blood test was a bit unreliable but what they do set more store by is the number of follicles they can see. She saw 6, which is also "lower than we'd like". They prefer 10 to 20. However she said that they had seen good results for women with 6 and it did not change her recommendation. So it's all systems go - I call them when I get my period, then it's 12 days of drugs and monitoring scans, egg collection, fertilisation, transfer and fingers crossed. Doc was pleasant enough, kind but businesslike. It is a bit of a production line. Other than talking about "good results" she did not mention success rates at all, and I didn't press her, I know the reality and frankly did not want to hear it.

I feel bad for saying this but psychologically I am not happy with all the problems now being weighted entirely on my side. Felt better when we both had issues. Obviously DH being nice about it (and it is sort of his problem too for choosing to shackle himself to an old bird, he had a choice!) and I do have to count our blessings that one obstacle has been removed.

Not too sure how I'll juggle all the various appointments with work;in a way it was easier when I was working all the hours God sent as I had more autonomy and time out was proportionately less time away from work, whereas in a 4 day week regular hours job the time in the office does count more. My boss is very pleasant though so I'll just have to play by ear. Hospital is only 15 mins away if I time the buses right, but they are so far utterly crap at keeping to appointment times.

So, that's it from me. It's a bit depressing that this thread has turned into an IVF thread, I really hoped it would be full of fortysomnething ladies conceiving naturally and proving the Daily Mail wrong. Thank God for Froginasock!

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JessieMcJessie · 13/08/2015 20:25

PS HS I think that UK employers simply can't argue with hospital appointments, or ask any particular questions, and you are not lying, so I think you just tell them exactly what you suggested. When i said my boss was nice I didn't mean that I was going to admit to IVF ( though if we conceive it might be a giveaway). Today I said "hospital" to manage expectations about my ability to pick a time (they'd expect me to schedule GP on my non working day) and the likelihood of it running late.

Ironically I will also have some non-IVF hospital appointments coming up soon as I have to see a consultant about genetic testing for Haemochromatosis since my brother has tested positive for the gene for it (has to do with the way your body stores iron, not in any way heath threatening as long as you are aware you have it).

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HS26 · 13/08/2015 20:55

Always enjoy reading your thorough and very well composed posts, Jessie.

It's good to hear that it's all systems go for you at Guys, but yes, I know what you mean about it being a bit sad that we haven't seen too much success on this thread yet. I really was erring on the side of the DM being wrong, but evidence would seem to be proving otherwise ...

I started reading statistics again last night and got thoroughly downhearted. Sometimes I just don't want to know any of the facts, like you said. I know they're real but it doesn't really help to dwell on them! Regarding your test results, I'm getting the feeling from what you're saying that it's all vary variable, so maybe it's best not to dwell on it. Very good news about DH! I think my DH had 9% morphology - I was so shocked when I saw that (seems so low!) but apparently, as you say, it's normal.

Thanks for your opinion on the new job/leaving for appointments etc. I think I'm going to take your advice and just take it as it comes. I may delay for a month or two, but maybe it's best just to get on with things and not think about it too much ...

Anyway, best of luck and keep us up to date .. I know you will anyway!

JessieMcJessie · 13/08/2015 21:37

Hee hee, I may have dessicating ovaries but a positive comment about my writing skills is a guaranteed mood enhancer! Thanks Smile.

Yes, I have read about AMH and it's all very controversial really (Doc said as much) so may just ignore it. I think I just cling to numbers and it was a shock that this one had gone down so rapidly. Lots of positive stories ref conception by women with lower results anyway. Doc also said she had trouble seeing my left ovary so have decided that there were probably at least 4 more foillicles hiding from the ultrasound...

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Daisyboo1203 · 14/08/2015 13:23

Jessie, I'm sorry to hear your AMH has dropped, I read that different labs can come up with different results, but I wouldn't put too much into it. It doesn't tell you anything about quality of eggs.
My AMH is 2.4Confused
At my scan there were only 3 or 4 follicles. I didn't know but some are empty. 1 of mine was empty, they collected 2 eggs.
As of now both have fertilised, which I was quite amazed about!! (Quality over quantity?!?)
Egg transfer tomorrow.
I know several other women on here are doing IVF, I don't look at this as the Daily Mail being right (especially when they say we are picky man hating career obsessed women who waited too long!)
Some women are very lucky to get pregnant in the 40s and some of us are very unlucky that we don't.
If I had a partner, I might wait longer trying naturally. I don't have that luxury. Sad

Daisyboo1203 · 15/08/2015 08:24

I had egg transfer today. I was very surprised to hear my 2 solitary eggs were grade 1. Had divided into 8 cells perfectly! I told doctor I was very surprised, she said she was too!!
It just shows that even with low AMH it can be quality over quantity!! (Jessie Smile)
I had been taking ubiquinol and including maca powder in smoothies, so who knows if that made a difference, or if my eggs are normal quality just not many left.
Now lying down thinking positive thoughts!

JessieMcJessie · 15/08/2015 09:46

Wow, that's fab Daisy so you are in exactly the same position as someone who had loads more eggs collected! Must be a great relief for you. Fingers very tightly crossed, how long till you fly back to HK?

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Daisyboo1203 · 15/08/2015 11:25

I fly back Thursday. Everything happened here quicker than planned as I didn't need additional stimming.
I thought about changing my flight as I can leave tomorrow, but decided to stay to chill out instead of stressing myself my changing flights and traveling.
Doc thought transfer went perfectly, my lining was nice and thick too! Thinking positively (and realistically) and staying calm!
When is your period due, Jessie?

SparrowSG · 17/08/2015 11:34

Morning ladies, well AF arrived as usual today so I am now booked in for my HSG next Tuesday. Thanks for the info on yours Jessie, I am expecting to have a problem tube as well since I think that is why the sperm/egg went the wrong way last year when I had my abdominal ectopic.

I was thinking about the comments around there not being much success on this group but I think it is the case that the people who come to this thread are those who are having issues conceiving. I think for each one of us, out there in the real world, is also another 40+ person who just got knocked up without any problems Smile. Instead of heading the the 'Conception' link, they go straight to Pregnancy' Smile.

Great news Daisy, hoping everything continues well and you are enjoying relaxing in the sunshine.

Good to hear you are feeling better Annie

Happy Monday everyone, I better get on and do some work!

SparrowSG · 17/08/2015 19:07

oh HS I forgot to answer your question about bfp symptoms. When I had mine last year I didn't have any in the tww, well not any that made me think I was pregnant. In fact I remember having a conversation a few days before with a friend who was pregnant at the time saying that I was sure I wasn't! I sometimes get pregnancy like symptoms pre-AF anyway so I wouldn't have spotted anything unusual and the pregnancy was not in the usual place either so that might have made some difference as well.

HS26 · 18/08/2015 10:19

Thanks for answering my question, Sparrow! Did you get any 'normal' pms symptoms that cycle, then? I just always feel like I'm out from about 9dpo because of onset of normal symptoms, and I guess I'm looking for a bit of hope!

Good point about the fact that the ones having problems are the ones on here! To be honest, though, I joined this thread pretty soon after I'd started ttc ... just thought having some like-minded folks along for the ride would help. I think Jessie started the thread up just as she started ttc, too.

Mostly I think it's all a bit 50:50 at our age, but I still have hope that most of us (maybe even all!) will get there at some point, even a long way down the track :-)

SparrowSG · 18/08/2015 15:26

Oh gawd, now I've made it sound like I think we all have issues!! Grin What I meant to say of course is that we are just having to wait a little longer than we would like for our bundles of joy to come along. As is said, good things come to those who wait.

HS yes I did have normal pms symptoms, sore boobs, tiredness, wind and a sense of humour failure Wink but I just put it down to the usual cycle...

JessieMcJessie · 21/08/2015 15:33

So, AF arrived last night which means CD1 of my first IVF cycle. No last minute pre-IVF miracle for us despite massive amounts of shagging this month.

Instructions were to call Guy's as soon as AF arrived to set up the first scan. They have booked that in for Sunday, neatly circumventing any time off work issues. However I came within a hair's breadth of not being able to go forward this month:

I'd been told when we informed the clinic a week ago that we wanted to go ahead on my next cycle that they would fax my prescription through to their outsourced pharmacy, who would then call me to take payment and the drugs would be delivered to me. I'd also get a call from Guy's Fiancne dept to take payment for the IVF itself.

Bear in mind my notes include the day my cycle is due to start. Had been patiently awaiting both calls.

Nurse today says "make sure you bring your drugs along to the appointment or we can't do the cycle this month". I tell her I am still waiting to pay for them. She gives me the number of the pharmacy who tell me they haven't received the prescription and if they don't have it by 3 today they can't deliver before Sunday. This is at 2pm! I call Guy's back, end up in a nail-biting queue ( I have never yet had them pick up without at least 10 mins of queuing) and they say "oh yes, we don't fax off the prescription till you have paid us for the treatment, did our finance people not call you? That's odd. "

She did then take payment immediately over the phone and promise to fax the prescription off immediately, but I still ended up calling the pharmacy again at 2.55 to find that they still had nothing on their system. They eventually found the script which had arrived about 2 minutes previously so it has been sorted now but I am pretty fed up and worried about how shit Guy's have been to be honest. They told us blithely at our first appointment that they'd lost all our notes and had to start from scratch with all our details, then when we went back for the doctor's consultation (right in the middle of a working day) they were an hour late seeing us and didn't warn, explain or apologise. I only hope their embryologists are more organised than their administrators or they'll either forget to put the sperm in with the eggs, or implant someone else's embryos or something...

Anyway too late to change clinics now so off we go. I think I'll be injecting from Sunday for about 2 weeks, hope that I don't have too much in the way of side effects. Was fine when I took them for IUI but that was to get 2 eggs so will be much bigger doses this time. Annie, Daisy how did you get on with them (injecting trauma aside Daisy)?

Will be thinking of you on Tues with your HSG Sparrow. I'm afraid that HS is right - when I started this thread I was only on month 2 of TTC so wasn't having any problems at all. However I do agree that some others came to it after having been trying for a while, so our stats probably are a bit skewed.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend.

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