Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

[JessieMcJessie]

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

piggy don't hesitate to change GP. You don't have time to waste with someone who lacks understanding and empathy. There are good, proactive GP's out there and you can shop around while you have to wait.

neetie were your hormone tests ok? Worth getting them done again as I was ok and told to come back in a year and that time they weren't ok and I was diagnosed as having "anovulatory periods" so even though I was having my period every month an getting a smiley face an egg wasn't popping out. The second GP referred me straight on to the fertility clinic. The cut off in my nhs area is 42, you have to have been referred before your 42nd birthday. Your gp could very well have been talking about other treatments though like Fertility drugs.

jessie I laughed at your photo of the tray of shots.

Thank you for your advice Freckle and Jessie - I think you are right -there is never a 'right' time is there so I think we will just keep on going and see what happens.

Hello Piggy - I agree with Annie that you should change your GP if that's at all possible. Having someone unsupportive will not help at all with ttc I don't think and there are others out there who will be better. Good luck.

That's strange Neetie as my doctor told me to come back to see him to get referred after 6 months of trying, because of my age (I was 39 at the time). I would recommend getting referred before waiting a year as you have to wait for to be referred and the first appointment to be organised. Normal waiting times for the first appointment at a NHS fertility clinic can be 3 months or more and then with all the tests etc it can be a slow process. I went to my doctor on March 20th to be referred and have my first appointment this Wednesday!

Hi girls ... well I think I might be able to encourage some of you today regarding all the talk about NHS, referrals etc.!

I have just come back from my first NHS fertility clinic appointment. I first went to the docs to get the ball rolling in February, so it has taken almost 5 months to get to this point.

Happily though I can say that I've come away feeling thoroughly encouraged. The doctor I saw was really encouraging. He said we've still got a really good chance of conceiving, as all our initial test results were good, over the next 2 years or so.

So, next steps ... I had a blood test today to test thyroid, I'm booked in for another scan to check lining of womb for polyps etc. and have been told to go away and think about whether I want to have dye injected into my uterus to check lining more closely and also to see if the dye goes into the fallopian tubes OK. He said it's quite common for women to conceive straight after that as everything has had a really good 'clean out' if you like.

Then came the biggest shock of all (in a good way) ... he said that in my area women are eligible for one round of free IVF up to age 43. I asked if it was worth it statistically and he said yes definitely chances are about 25%, just like a younger woman (bit confused by that now I think about it, but maybe he meant as my test results were good?)

All in all, very positive indeed. The nurse I saw afterwards to get myself booked in for all the tests confused me a bit though by saying that we need to think about whether we want to have the dye test and then consider our free IVF or just go straight for the IVF. She seemed to be implying she'd choose going straight to IVF, but when DH and I chatted about it afterwards we both thought the doctor had been saying he would recommend the dye test first and a few more months of trying naturally, then consider IVF ...

One more little 'thing' that encouraged me. The nurse was about 40 herself and told us that she got pregnant with her first immediately, then it took 18 months for her second! But it still happened.

So ... I think we're going to have the dye test, then the free IVF. They said you have to wait for about 3 months for the IVF anyway, so might be a good idea to get the ball rolling on it soon-ish.

I felt like it was all very well organised, though, they were all friendly and had time to explain things to us properly. Amazing how we are all having such different experiences, isn't it?

On that note, definitely think it's worth trying to find good doctors - they are out there for sure!

Anyway, better stop rambling on but I hope this has encouraged some of you! :-)

Not got the fertility test till end of July I teach and can't get time off work for when they do them, but term ends in three and a half weeks. Apparently cut off here is 42 as well so am guessing she meant other stuff which is fine. Am lucky to have a very supportive GP so am sure if I went after six months she will be able to help a little we are only on month two of ttc though.

Wow HS what a fantastic positive story. So glad that everyone took time to talk things through with you in detail. I think that your ccg must be very unusual to offer IVF up to 43, what a nice surprise. How exciting for you to have encouagement and a plan of action.

I've also heard that about the HSG dye test "flushing you out" so may indeed be worth a try, as well as obviously helping identify where any problems may lie. Wonder if Guy's will suggest one to us when we see them.

I think I have got a bit blase about IVF having read so much about it recently but I really don't want to pump myself full of fertility drugs and have a doctor dig about in my ovaries if I can possibly avoid it.

You said your test results were all fine - if you don't mind me asking, what was your AMH result?

Thanks for the positive news and info HS. I have my first appointment tomorrow as well. It was meant to be last Monday but they called to cancel as there was no doctor for the clinic. Which is a shame as I will now have to go to the app tomorrow on my own as DH can not take another 'working from home' day, not that I am nervous but it will just mean repeating everything that is said!

Did they actually do any tests at the appointment or was it just a conversation? It is really nice that they were so positive, I hope it is the same for me.

Let us know how it goes, Sparrow!

It was mostly just going over our test results and discussing and booking us in for the next steps, but they said they would have done the scan I'm going to have yesterday but they'd run out of slots. So I think mostly they won't do anything, but it depends ...

Jessie, don't mind you asking about the AMH at all! The doc told me they hope for under 15 (I think that's what he said) and so mine was good as it's 7.2. I asked him if he meant good for my age and he said 'no, just normal, for a woman of any age'. He didn't seem too hung up on the actual number, to be honest. :-)

I apologise for not being able to respond to messages too well as the app makes reading threads impossible & my phone is the only way I can access the site right now. I'm not ignorant, honest!

I wanted to ask, what kinds of tests are reasonable to request re: fertility and hormones from a GP (new GP as thanks to those suggesting I change) when I haven't yet been actively ttc. I have a bad feeling about ovulation, or lack thereof, for some irrational reason & would hate to get to my sheath-free shagging date and beyond only to discover it was futile. I know it will be hard but I think finding out now that it won't happen would be easier than trying for months on end and living with the constant failure feeling.

Piggy, my GP would only test for progesterone which is to see if you are ovulating. He said the other tests needed to be done by the fertility clinic, but different doctors/NHS areas vary as my friend in another town had other blood tests done at her doctors.
It may also be a good idea to get some ovulation predictor tests. I completely mis-timed my ovulation for months, thinking I ovulated at cycle day 14 or later when actually it's 10 or 11.

HS thanks but I wonder if the result you refer to is FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) as that is the one that docs like to be low? Higher FSH indicates PCOS or peri menopause. AMH (something mullerian hormone) is the one that they do to test ovarian reserve and the higher the better. It's used by IVF clinics to assess how well you would respond to ovarian stimulation. It's possible that your GP might not have ordered that one as it's quite expensive.

piggy one thing that quite a lot of women do to assess ovulation is taking your basal temperature every day to see if it rises at ovulation time, since OPKs will measure the hormone that tells the follicles to ovulate (LH) but can't really prove you have actually ovulated but the temp shift apparently does. There's lots of info about it on friend.com. However it's a bit of a faff and I get the sense that it's a bit of an American thing that UK docs don't really believe in, so the OPKs are probably a good start.

Sorry www.fertilityfriend.com

Jessie, yes, maybe it was FSH then? It was the one they get from your blood test at 21 days of your cycle or thereabouts.

Anyway, he said it was good and that's good enough for me! :-)

Oops, no, sorry, I meant the one they get from the blood test on day 3 of your cycle. The 21 day one was progesterone ... Sorry!

Yes that's the one. It's the one that my GP took on the wrong day so gave me a meaningless result, I have never had a day 3 one yet. Great news that yours was good.

@sparrowsg I'm the same. I have been on discharge watch (it's as unpleasant as it sounds) then got the wee pee strips. I'd already ovulated before the instructions said to start testing based on goo quality & pains. Next cycle I'm going to start as soon as I get my period to see. I think it's about day 9-11 on a 28 day cycle.

Thanks @jessiemcjessie I'll check out that site. I'm not sure I want to be doing temperature as well as goo-watch & stick peeing. If after September it takes a while I may start

Well I got my af date wrong thought it was due 21st but it's the 11th which brings tww to an end a lot sooner..so this week will be symptom and af watching...not sure whether to be excited or worried just crossing everything at the mo

Went for my HSG test yesterday (dye and x Ray to check tubes OK). Was pretty uncomfortable but glad I went. Seems my left tube is fine but right one looks blocked. Waiting for full debrief with doctor. DH thinks this Is "a good thing" as it means that if we do have to do IVF it's not solely because of his problems. Interesting way of looking at it. Checked my notes from the IUI and the big follicles were both on the right. No wonder it didn't work, unlikely the eggs even got through. How is everyone?

So sorry to hear that, Jessie. This means though that you did really well to conceive a couple months back - and of course it can still happen again.

A friend of mine is in exactly the same position (they told her it was probably like that when she was born) and she has now started IVF.

Hope you're OK :-(

I will be having the same test in a few weeks I think, so let's see ...

I know! What with DH's deformed sperm, the chances of my egg being a decent one AND it coming out of the unblocked side it was a bloody miracle :-) Reminded me of the scene in Sex and the City where Miranda is trying to decide whether to keep Steve's baby and realises it was such an outside chance that she had to keep it- "what with my lazy ovary and Steve only having one ball it was like the Special Olympics of conception! "
I am fine, information is power and if there is a physical blockage I can tell myself that egg quality was not the problem. Guy's appt on the 27th though we have to see nurse first and then doc 2 weeks later, but at least all in the diary. Good luck with the HSG HS, it is a bit uncomfortable and I felt a bit bruised and battered afterwards but definitely worth knowing what's going on in there.

Yes, you've actually made me more resolved than ever to have that test. A nurse was sort of trying to persuade us to skip it and go straight to IVF, but I'd rather know exactly what, if any, obstacles we're facing before we start shelling out thousands for IVF!

The quote is hilarious! But seriously, these things do seem to happen rather a lot, so all is definitely not lost for you as far as getting there naturally goes :-)

We are around ov. right now. DH seems to have got a bit buoyed up after our appointment and is now taking the 'every-2-days' approach very seriously and even googling info on ttc-friendly lubricants!! Suits me because until now it's been a battle some months, believe me ...

Anyway, glad you're OK, Jessie. You have a great attitude and I always feel encouraged by that, so thank you ...

Hi all, I meant to write earlier about my trip to the clinic last Wednesday but I've waited on purpose so that I am a bit more level headed as it wasn't a great experience. Almost a polar opposite to yours HS, amazing that it can vary so much.
DH was able to make it in the end, we were late (10 mins) which is not great but it was one of those journeys where everything that could delay us did (stuck behind a lorry, roadworks, queuing for parking at hospital). When we arrived and apologised we were greeted with irritation and borderline rudeness from the consultant and his secretary which did not get us off to a good start. The consultation then proceeded with some insincere sounding sympathy for my past 'troubles' referring to my ectopic, questioning about the location of the ectopic where he seemed doubtful about my stating it was abdominal until I gave him more information about the surgery etc. We then went through the usual medical history questions and he then told us what tests we should have (HSG, AMH, other hormone blood tests). I then asked him about the cut off age for IVF, to which he answered 35 (!!) and then confusing me about how it is decided by the GP, has to be assessed individually etc, but basically if that was the treatment that was decided I need at the end of the tests it would not be funded on the NHS. This is contrary to other information I have found on the internet and have heard from a friend who was told by the clinic in Surrey that Hampshire has the 'one IVF cycle for 40-42 years olds' thing. We were then sent on our way with a few sheets of paper with information on what will happen next etc.
No positive comments or words of encouragement and with the appointment starting the way it did I felt pretty shit deflated afterwards.

Anyway, rant over! I am now waiting for my appointment for the HSG test, not sure how long that will take. I'm booked in for my blood tests this and next week and then DH is booked in for his SA in a couple of weeks time. According to the paperwork it could be 3-4 months before we go for our follow-up appointment, we are on a revolving waiting list...

In the meantime I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed that I get pregnant before hand so I don't have to go back to the clinic again!

Jessie and HS good luck with all your tests and appointments.

Well this month might not be the one..have had light painless cramps since saturday and some lightish brown discharge but today when I wiped it was a bit brighter red so don't think af is too far away..hey ho onto the next month

Oh Sparrow that sounds just terrible! I'm so sorry - that sounds so discouraging and, quite frankly, unprofessional!

As you say, I couldn't have had a more different experience. They were so positive and encouraging AND said I could have one round of IVF so long as it was before my 43rd birthday (a way off, thank goodness!)

I suggest you try to take some encouragement from my appointment - there is hope, there are things to try, and yes, let's mostly just cross our fingers that you don't even need to go back there!