The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2198677-Jizz-in-your-eyes-raining-out-of-your-arse-or-just-feeling-boggin-Come-and-join-the-JSers-for-fun-and-frolics-And-some-of-them-drooling-over-Ian-McShane-whoever-he-may-be-Its-Just-Shagging-29" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2202292-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-No-13-for-upduffed-viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Brown trousers time - 'being so scared that an accident may occur' Or in the case of very pregnant ladies, it may occur whether or not you're scared

I think it's a Red Dwarfism

Lol brown trousers!!!

AF is still here, not bothering me a great deal, though I'm hoping she does bugger off eventually! We are at DF's family all day helping them move and they keep talking about our wedding, I've only just got engaged!!

hi all

congrats RM. can't see on app but as the others see it it must be there!

Kate can dh change jobs so you can move closer to your job? or can you move closer and both commute but shorter distance? im sure you'd work something out once you were pg. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

la glad reflexology was good. when do you go back? I'm hoping to do acupuncture I'm preparation for the ivf.

lol at brown trousers ness. can't believe you're nearly at the end! its mad how many of you have popped sprogs since I joined! time flies!

feeling crap today as I woke up with a cold. good excuse to do nothing and eat crap though!

Thanks viroids, it's not really sunk in yet. It was a bit of a shock cos I really didn't expect to see a line! Only 11 dpo (according to Ovia). Been a bit of a rubbish JSer this month especially compared with last month where we dtd eod for the entire cycle

Stats rm?

I've not seen ewcm before this cycle, but definitely had it cd10 & 11, dtd cds 10, 13 & 15. (Ovia app predicted icing cd16.) Hurty boobs on cd26+ and BFP cd28

Thanks for all the kid words viroids.

Today has been an utter shit sandwich. Had a chat with dp in the car on the way to visit mil (big mistake! Not a good time at all...) and I ended up in tears - DP seems to have done a complete upturn with regards to ttc and thinks we should 'make a plan and work out what we want to do and achieve in the next few years' he seems to see this as a positive step and said 'I am upset, but not that upset because we are going in the right direction and making a plan to get the things we want'.
I am really upset and have been on the verge of tears all day and he doesn't really understand why :( though he did say earlier 'I feel like I've broken your heart' - think he wanted me to say no of course not, but heartbroken is exactly how I feel now that ttc seems to have been put on hold indefinitely. It's worse because he seems almost relieved, and keeps asking me if I'm okay and what's wrong. Feel like screaming t him but that's not exactly productive. :(

So I guess I won't be around here really. Which makes me sadder cause I was getting to really like chatting to you guys.

It seems like a massive u turn - only yesterday we were chatting and giggling about smep and things.

Sorry lovelies, I am withering on and some of you are going through actual horrid difficult times...

:( Oh kate big hugs to you hunni.

You are more than welcome to stay around here and chat, there's no rules against it. And hopefully you can both come to a decision that makes you both happy x

rm yay! What a lovely line!! Congrats - you must be thrilled!!

gaggia hope you are doing ok lovely xxx

jelly quick word of advice - af stayed with me until CD10 this month, I wrongly assumed I'd get a week before icing as usual but got ewcm on day 13, did opk and got a +tve on day 14!! So please be warned - things can happen quite quickly after she effs off. Ovia was no help and adjusted its fertile window back after I recorded my opk result so I'd missed most of it!!

Sorry you are rough lil

kate really just want to echo the advice of everyone else - us women can make anything work if we want to xxx

la I wrote a really long post to you yesterday that I lost and then poor gaggias sad news came through and I forgot all about it. Basically, I wanted to tell you about a really shit gynae appointment I once had which put me off ttc for years. I won't bore you with all the details but keep doing what you're doing. If someone with as messed up insides as me can get relatively normal cycles then I have to put my faith in getting to know our own bodies and what is right for the individual. Do it your way - listen to what the professionals tell you but always remember you don't have to follow the advice.

Lol at Brown trousers!!

How are the rest of the twotters? Who's next to test? I know dulcet bother and I have got a week or so ?

kate :( sounds like a bit of a cheaply day. Please stay and keep chatting to us! Really hope you can come to some kind of compromise.

lil think I am going to go again in a month. When are you thinking if going for acupuncture? Get well soon x

Thanks tink much appreciated!

Cheaply? Crappy!

Hello, anyone mind a newbie joining?

I'm me, ttc number 2 since ?june 2013. Getting bored of it now...

DS born may 2012, after 11 months of trying.

No known problems but imagine first thing a doc will say is lower the bmi (34ish). Think that conversation will not be good. So trying to work on that. Also having been a 28 day girl I'm varying between 27 and 30 since periods returned after number 1...

Sorry to see the sad news here , cheered by the good news

Hi Jeni! Welcome!

Kate you don't need to go anywhere! Considering the melt down i had yesterday i can imagine how you are feeling. You do need to be honest and tell him exactly how he has made you feel. Between hysterical sobs if necessary! Don't give up. Xx

Oh Kate - can't blame you for being heartbroken Hugs xx I hope you can talk through things and make some kind of plan... putting it off indefinitely doesn't seem fair! Neither is promising you something and snatching it away suddenly... Chin up girl x

jen welcome!

Oh that sucks kate. Is there more talking you can do? You get a say as well!

Welcome jen! Sounds like you've been through it already. Grab a seat with us for the waiting!

I had acupuncture lil, I think you have to believe a little bit - go in with an open mind.

Kate and hugs for you. I agree you absolutely have to talk to him and tell.him how you feel, and how it appears to you that he feels and get to the bottom of where this has come from. sounds like you are planning more talking firvyhe making plans part so make sure, if its what you want, that you keep voicing ttc as YOUR priority in those discussions. its hard because you do both have to be on board, but he's being really unfair.

dulcet I had acupuncture for my neck injury and really found it helped. it was done by a physio who explained it in a logical non weird way which helped me get on board with it then.and the nurse at clinic has given me names of midwives who do it in my area so hopefully not to voodoo!

la I'm planning to start mid November ish so about a month or so before the injections start.

RM just been on web to check out your line. that's a mfbfp girl! well done

all of you xx

We have spent the whole evening talking. I have spent a lot of it crying! There
Seems to have been some miscommunication - he was confused about me thinking it was put off indefinitely- that's apparently not what he meant which is a relief.
But definitely on hold for now, which makes me sad.
We have talked about what would be the sensible thing to do (wait a year so I can find a job closer to home- which might mean vein able to buy before ttc) and also ways we could make ttc now work. No definite decisions as of yet.

I told him exactly how I felt - stupid, and like I wasn't in the relationship I thought I was. He was gutted that I was so upset and genuinely felt awful, he said he had thought he was ready but as it got more real he started to consider the reality more and that he wanted to make sure he was ready before it happened instead of me getting pregnant and him freaking out and changing his mind.
Talking through the possibilities of how we could make it wrk now seemed really positive and I think we could do it, but he was upset at the thought if not seeing me in the week to feel baby kick etc. I think I would feel awful robbing him of that. But no sure I'm ready to give up and wait another year. Very confused right now!

Sorry this has been all about me- I will catch up properly tomorrow. Just wanted to get it all out of my head so I can try and get some sleep...

Hola!

Hi jen

Blimey kate that sounds like the worst Saturday night. Glad you've been able to talk and made some headway. I hope he understands how important this is to you? Mr. Tink I'm sure would also hate to miss those moments in pregnancy but he would sacrifice that to have a child otherwise I'd kill him, and he'd also be missing the awful mood swings and sickness and wind which he'd be ever grateful for!
Maybe give it a bit of time and keep pressing your point. It'd be wrong to force him into a baby if he's not ready - he needs to feel like it's his decision. Use your feminine whiles gingers crossed for you though. I'm sure you'll work it out.

Morning Viroids

Please excuse me for not reading back. I will in a little while but something FUCKING WEIRD has happened this morning and I need your opinion.

So on Mon I POAS and got a BFN. That afternoon AF came . The following day I ate a whole packet of Waitrose pâté. AF continued til Fri but was significantly shorter s s lighter than usual. On Friday I drank and last night I drank . I have also continued to have some pregnancy symptoms so in a "Wiggly, you're an idiot, why are you doing this, you're wasting a stick, you've had AF" way I POAS this morning. Here's a pic of the result. It's a lloyd's own brand cheapy, but is that a cross?

I am SOOOO confused.

Argh! Why won't the app show photos! I want to see!!

Glad you talked about it some more kate and must be reassuring to know he is changing his mind for the right reasons but doesn't sound like its over yet. Will it be difficult to find a new job in your area of work?

I did like acupuncture lil and will go back. I read it does seem to have a positive impact on IVF treatment both before and during TWW. My lady was nice but a bit woo. She was Chinese and recommended by the clinic but sometimes I found it hard to say 'yes, that is true' but I trusted she knew what she was doing!!

Bloody hell wiggly!! I'm not sure what to say! All I want to do is congratulate you this would be amazing. Especially after everything you've been through. I've been secretly waiting to hear from you for a while but after your mcs I didn't want to start demanding info!!
Sensible me has to ask if your hormones were confirmed as normal after the last mc, this very positive cross couldn't be a left over???
Jeez, if this is it it is the best news!!! Go get a frer. And please God keep us updated - I'm going to be refreshing the page alot today I feel!!

I checked online now - totally a line! Congrats wiggly! So you have had a BFN do it can't be left over from MC so must be a new pregnancy? Has the bleeding stopped? That could be implantation and nothing sinister.

Wow, that is definitely a cross!
Assuming that you used a similar brand pee stick to Monday, this can't be a MC holdover, coz you'd have got a positive on Monday too...
So I'd say it must be one of two things, one good, one bad.
The bad is chemical pregnancy, so you've had an egg fertilized and started to implant & generate enough HCG to trigger a BFP, but it's already over and gone with AF
Or! It's a genuine BFP, and you've had quite a long implantation bleed, which isn't that unusual!
Luckily there's an easy way to tell which it is! Test again in 24hrs (48 if you can bear it!) with the same brand test. Option A the test will get lighter, option B it will get darker.
My money's on option B - it looks like too good a line for a chem pregnancy, they usual manifest in squinty faint lines...
Tentative congratulations!