The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
   
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
   
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
   
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
   

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!

[Purplecircle]

Oh Gaggia I'm so sorry, how awful

La, keep,doing what you're doing lovie. Don't let the bastards get you down.

I'm a bit pissed, been out with the girls which did me good. I'll catch up later, off to York with DH tomorrow for a night away...can't wait ??

[TinkerBlue]

Happy Saturday viroids.

gaggia thinking of you

la just wanted to reiterate what everyone else said - you know your own body and what's best for you. Chin up x

honey yay! Glad you sorted stuff out x

purple well jel! York must be the viroids destination of choice at the moment.

Massive temp drop here today 6dpo.

[ChatEnOeuf]

Good morning viroids! I hope today is a better day honey and La, and you're not in any physical pain Gaggia.

We have a houseful of guests for the weekend - all beds are full as well as an air bed in the lounge. None of these guys have any DCs, so won't surface for some time. I'm sure some are ttc but don't talk about it. Part of me respects that, part of me wants to over share Sure my alcohol free beer will be noted... for now, while I still can!

[DulcetMoans]

Oh gaggia, I am so sorry. It's a shit situation and I'm sure your head is, or will, be all over the place. Hopefully your hospital will be supportive and guide you through. I imagine on Monday they will want to scan you to check it's all gone and take it from there. Lots of rest and nice things this weekend though, give yourself a break.

la - what bollocks! I was told there is no evidence for increases risk of MC after a MC and so were many other. Did she not listen to your concerns about LPdefect or B6 etc?? What a shitter! It's hard when you are in there, I know, I just forget all my questions and feel really small. What's your plan of action now?

purple - good holiday choice! Haha. I can recommend a haunted pub and a trip around the minster if you want a peaceful time of reflection.

honey - yay for shagging!

chat - no chance you can sneakily drop hints about TTC and see if they bite?! I always want to know cos I'm nosey! but can never ask as it's a bit personal. But I want to know!!!

[rm00054]

Sorry the clinic was poo La :(

Really sad for you gaggia sending lots of hugs your way


AF due today, so I poas-ed this morning. Pic to follow (when I work out how to post them!)

[rm00054]

What do you think?

[KateBeckett]

Looks line line to me rm but I'm no expert! Gx!

gaggia I'm so sorry to hear your news. Sending lots of hugs xx

la sorry the clinic was shit xx

Well. I'm not sure whether I'll be hanging around here much longer or not... Had a horrible discussion with DP last night, the upshot of being that he is terrified about what will happen when I am pregnant (stemmed from a conversation of me worrying it will be hard to conceive whilst working away), is worried about my commute and working away while pregnant and that he won't be able to support me.

It has floored me somewhat. I'd not really thought about what would happen during a pregnancy, but maybe he is right?

My working week currently goes like this; Monday, get up at 5, set off at half 5 and drive 1 and a half hours to work. Stay over at my mums. Tuesday; get up at half 6 and go to work. After work drive 1 and a half hours home. Wednesday get up at 5 drive to work, stay over at mums Wednesday and Thursday. Friday after work drive back home for the weekend.

I'm a teacher so can't ask to change hours or work from home, and also can't change jobs easily - we have to give so much notice I couldn't leave now until Easter. And I don't really want to get a new job and then announce I'm going off on maternity ASAP. So now don't know what to do :( feeling very sad.

Sorry for the essay, don't really want to talk to anyone irl...

[Leela5]

Rm that's a line! Is this after right amount of time from peeing? Just want to check no way it could be evap line.

Tentative congratulations!!!!

[jellypi3]

gaggia sorry to hear :( hugs to you. And la they sound like arseholes!!

rm that's a line! Congrats!

And kate I'm sorry your going through this dilemma. It's never easy balancing work and pregnancy but hopefully you will find a resolution x

[Leela5]

kate don't apologise that's what we are here for. This is obviously upsetting you. It's absolutely natural for some degree of freaking out when ttc from both you and dp.

It's a scary thing to think about the massive life change a baby brings and it's natural for people to question whether they're ready.

Whatever happens just remember that you will make it work and that there's never a good time to have a baby, if everyone waited until they are in perfect scenario no one would have babies.

Can you sit him down for a gentle chat about how he's feeling? Men don't talk to each other much and mine I know gets overwhelmed in his head but I never know til he gets frustrated about something else and the real issue comes out. I often due time when we are on our own to ask him how he's feeling and make sure he tells me any worries.

Why not get him a book for men on ttc? Mine has expectant father survival guide. He loves it! It's funny and helps him understand what's happening and explains what the woman will be feeling through the process. We found it very useful during mc.

I think as long as you keep communicating with each other you'll be fine. And to realise what you're feeling is perfectly normal xxx

[gaggiagirl]

rm I see a line!

[Leela5]

gaggia how are you today? If you want to talk about we are here, equally if you just want to be quiet then do.

In terms of what to expect Monday I presume they'll take bloods to check hcg levels, they may have done this already to compare. Probably a scan as well to see what's happening inside. PM me if you would like a chat.

If you're in any pain ask for painkillers from EPU. Keep warm, drink lots of water and hopefully you are getting lots of cuddles.

chat it sounds like you've got hands full this weekend!

I went out last night, had a few cocktails. Clinic was frustrating but I guess she was just doing her job.

It annoyed me that she said I need to relax and not do opks or anything but I only know I ov late due to opks, before that we were stopping dtd too early. She poo pooed the taking of vit B complex and said they are in pregnacare anyway. But I got pg the first month I took vit B to lengthen lp. So it obviously helped.

She didn't know about epo making cm more obvious either. Debating whether she is perhaps a foot doctor instead and I was sent to her by mistake.

Anyway her warning of not ttc this month came too late because I think I have ov already, so now it's just a wait to see what happens. If no bfp this month then there's nothing to worry about.

lil she nodded when I talked about short lp but didn't seem very interested. She said she's convinced I'll get pg soon but if not I call her in the spring. She was very nice but just matter of fact. I left in floods of tears because I'd got my hopes up that she could help. But hopefully I won't need her come spring - thinking positively because that's all that's needed right? Sod dtd at ovulation time, all that's needed is positive thinking and relax

[Leela5]

Gaggia my flowers didn't work so here's another two

[honeysucklejasmine]

RM I see a line! Congratulations!

Kate is there a reason you go home midweek, other than to see your dp? It might be worth weighing up whether your desire to see each other in person (rather than on Skype etc) is enough to outweight his anxiety of you driving that far? I.e. go to work on a Monday morning and stay with your mum until Friday? Perhaps you could ensure you do all your school work during the week at your mums and then ask him to plan exciting things to do together on the weekend? Its half term soon... Have a restful week and think it through. Otherwise, you've got three options. Stay working where you do and keep commuting. Move house closer to work. Or take the chance and start looking to move schools for next September. By then (i.e. easter holidays) you will know whether you are going to be pregnant in the middle of the next academic year or not and you can go in with an informed view when thinking of applications. Not an easy decision. Fwiw one of my colleagues used to do a 1.5hr commute each way every day. She hated it but taught a subject where jobs are hard to find. She did it for three years before a job came up closer to home.

[honeysucklejasmine]

La, I think we all share your rage.

If not bfp this month I am hosting a cocktails and hot tub party. Heck, even if I am then I will just make myself virgin versions. Although... Being a bit precious... I hate having loads of people round at once for hot tub events because they slosh loads of water over the sides and I have to refill it, at great expense!

[Leela5]

purple hope you're having a fun holiday! Love York!

honey glad you guys have made up

In other news I had reflexology yesterday. It was fascinating! She picked up on loads of stuff i hadn't told her about just from my feet!

She said that my uterus and ovaries are mostly fine and working in tune with each other, there's a bit of an imbalance but could be due to ovulation. She said my pituitary gland is inflamed, so it's likely hormones are the issue rather than anything to do with my actual physical structures of reproductive system.

She said my stomach was sore - I hadn't told anyone but I've had sore stomach and diarrhoea all week. She also said there was a crunchy bit in the areas for my neck and shoulder - I see an osteopath regularly for neck and shoulder I hadn't told her that

She asked if I'm angry about anything - coz gall bladder bit was tender. I told her about fertility clinic appt

It was fascinating and so relaxing so if anything at least going there will help me relax

[Nessalina]

delurks

Luffs the new thread title! I can always spot the JSers

Congrats RM! Looking very liney!

Kate - my DH had a big TTC wobble that threw me a bit, it's good that he's talking to you about it rather than bottling it up which mine did for ages. With mine it was also worries about him supporting me because he was changing jobs, and money might be an issue. But really, I think it was just a confidence issue and the feeling of 'OMG everything is going to change'... There's never a 'perfect' time to have a baby, and yes, your schedule is a bit punishing right now 5am?! but you can't do much about it, so why put your life on hold? You'll cope because you have to, and you might just need to think about taking an early mat leave once the driving gets too much? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, if you really want it, you'll be ok, and you'll talk him round - good luck!

Sod that La - there's no evidence whatsoever about TTC straight after MC giving you greater chance of MC, they were talking out of their arse And we've all heard that 'relax' and don't plan it shit, but that just doesn't work once you're in JS mode, and it worked ok for you last time!! Ugh doctors give me the rage sometimes. Sucks that they didn't offer any practical help - I'd give it another two months then go back and see a different GP if you can

[Leela5]

RM I had another look at your line - what a lovely clear line, are you dancing around doing the bfp dance?

[Leela5]

PS in case any of you think I'm nuts I do know reflexology had pretty much no scientific basis but I thought I'd just try it and see what it was like :)

Hey ness! How long til you're due? Xx

[honeysucklejasmine]

Hahaha La, I think Ben Goldacre is a brilliant man but I'd still give it a try in the future if I felt like it. Although, I won't be going near that homeopathy bollocks. Water memory... sigh

[Leela5]

I'm a scientist I should definitely know better! Desperation does strange things to people

The reflexology bed was comfortable and I got my feet rubbed for an hour. Amazing!

[Nessalina]

I'm 37+5 Brown trousers time literally - ah! Pregnancy

I've always fancied having a go at reflexology, even though I know it's almost certainly bollocks, just coz I lurve having my feet played with! But I've heard it can be a bit painful? Would you recommend the experience La?

[Leela5]

I was on a big squishy bed covered in a warm fluffy blanket with hot water bottle on my tummy, soft music playing and someone massaging my feet. What's not to like?

It was only painful when she pressed on certain bits - I had to say when it was sore and she told me which bit of the body it corresponded to

[Leela5]

Brown trousers?

[RPopz]

Poopy pants La

I was always tempted by reflexology (despite my scientificness ) I think it would've been my next step. Even if it is a load of tosh its still a nice footrub and an hour to relax - what harm can that do! x