TTC after a MC (I'm really rubbish at thread titles sorry)

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Really feeling it today, my lovely cousin is going in for a c section this morning and it's brought it all back that I should be nearly 25 weeks now I'm happy for them don't get me wrong but laying in bed feeling all teary. Really hope this month is our month x

(((Hugs))) Tranquility. We all know exactly where you're coming from. We are not evil people for feeling this way, we are grieving mothers. It will always hurt, even if less often or in a less all-consuming manner, but grief comes in tides and waves; it isn't linear.
Sending you strength and

The theme of doing only what you really need to do and being kind to yourself is exactly what I need to read right now.

I thought I'd try and go back to work today. Thought I might be able to manage it. Then realised that today is a week since the MC started, that I'd be in the same office using the same loo. I've got one client coming to see me today and we'd be talking about her early experiences of parenting her son and what he was like as a baby/child/now. That feels too hard today - far and beyond what I can do. I'm getting there with the physical recovery - still more tired than usual but I can't face work today. Any reassurance I'm not being overly sensitive would be appreciated!

Getting the balance between being kind to yourself and taking the plunge back into reality is hard. Hope I'm getting the balance right. Totally agree with the person who said that seeing that life in the big world is going on as normal is almost especially hard.

Blink - hope preferably a BFP, second choice AF wings it's way to you very soon. Being in limbo is rubbish!

Hello everyone. Can I join? I recognise some of you from the miscarriage boards. Dulcet. I am so sorry for what you're going through again. Can't help but be hopeful for you but I missed the beginning of the story. Have you had a scan? Waves and hugs to Brummie, Cloud, Boozle, and others from the RMC thread. My stats are:

Longestlurkerever: 1dd born Aug 2011, ttc dc2 since March 2013. 1 mc (chemical) Aug 2013, 1mmc Jan 2014, 1mc June 2014. Tests at St Mary's came back clear so ttc again from this cycle but terrified!

I have self- diagnosed a hormonal issue after reading prof Regan's miscarriage book as I have a 42 day cycle and sometimes have positive opks at random times of the month. Not sure what to do about it though. St Mary's agree I probably have pcos but because I am conceiving and don't have any clotting or insulin problems they don't recommend any treatment. But I think it is high lh levels and low progesterone causing implantation issues. Am taking agnus castus (oked by Dr) in the hope it might boost progesterone levels but it hasn't made any difference to my cycle yet- I have just oved on CD28 as usual. I just invested in a maybe baby microscope but it doesn't show any ferning today even though I have ov pain and ewcm (sorry tmi) so I am worried I don't have enough oestrogen either. Has anyone been through anything similar?

Best wishes to you all. Here's hoping we all get our sticky beans soon.

Phryn, It's only been a week. Be kind to yourself, if you're not ready take a little longer. It may just need you need a couple more days, or you just need to go back on a day when you're not going to be faced with talk of babies straight away?
Big hugs x

Phryn so sorry to read what you're going through. Please don't go in today. Having to put on a brave face through that sounds just awful. I hope you have an understanding boss. I have told mine about my mcs and they have been great.

Hey Lurker. Welcome! This place is the best shit place to be in the world. How's everyone doing? I'm teaching dance this afternoon and hoping bits of my uterus don't fall out mid jump (4 days post op...). Then again if they do I could throw them at my Headteacher...
Non teachers, never leave teachers in a room together - we turn into super boring annoying individuals, you need to be here to keep us in check and make talks interesting!
Hope everyone has a sunny Wednesday - one more week and wtf cycle here I come! Is it bad I'm dreading having to fake enjoy sex on a daily basis again..?

Thanks Barley & Lurker for the encouragement. I've given my inner striver a talking to and decided that going in today would be a bad plan. I'll call work and then busy myself at home probably with a combo of Netflix, tidying and playing with powertools in the shed (DH and I are making a booze and cookery book shelving thing). I just got a BFN on an IC which I'm pleased by - at least my HCG levels have dropped and seeing the BFN didn't feel as bad as I thought it might. However am also having stupid paranoid thoughts of is it to soon to have dropped and does it mean anything about my fertility (strong positive on same brand last wed am). Am assuming it's just one of those things but if anyone has any knowledge about HCG dropping to BFN levels post MC they want to share that'd be helpful.

Boozle - this is defo the best shit place to be - great phrase. Good luck with your dance leading and uterus-staying-inside. Maybe child could overexert themselves dancing and then projectile vomit over your cowbag of a head? I'm sure that could be arranged/encouraged .

Boozle sorry, but that made me laugh, which I really needed!

Good luck to all those back at work this week. I'm back today 10 days post mc and finding it a bit strange but ok (colleagues did know but are being brilliant).

Pharyn from what I remember we were at about the same time (6-8wks). I got a very strong positive almost immediately and showed negative within a week when the bleeding stopped. My GP said it was just my body doing exactly what it should, it's a good sign. It's such a worrying time but try to relax. A week is no time at all, take longer and make sure you're really ready. It's been over a month for me and I'm almost there but can't deal with the big stuff yet.

So frustrated today. Cramping, huge boobs, awful pmt mood, zero pregnancy symptoms and still no AF. So sick of being in limbo. Sorry to moan, I'm going to try and keep busy today but everything just feels so pretend and I can't be bothered. I know this is hormonal, as soon as AF comes back I'm going to the drs for a thyroid check.

I've also decided I just need to stay away from everyone until I'm ok, work is fine as I'm so busy but socialising can't happen. I know I'll end up telling everyone and I don't want them to know. Blurrgh.

I'm struggling with the fact that as soon as we decided to ttc everything went wrong - irregular and long cycles, miscarriage, poorly DS. Before that my cycle was 28 days and miscarriages were things that I knew nothing about. We decided to ttc then because everything was so easy! More fool me .

Oh I'm being far too negative this morning, I'll snap out of it. I'm not sure why but every morning since the mc I feel utterly depressed and irrational. By the afternoon I'm fine but I can't seem to snap myself out of the morning whinge-fest .

Morning ladies,
Sending you all big hugs, seems there s a few of you having a wobble. Don't fight the wobble, we all have them, it is normal and sometimes you really do just need a good cry or to sit with a massive bar of chocolate and a cheesy film.
AF has arrived today...Not in full force yet, but I know she will be soon. Don't feel too bad about it. A bit pissed off, naturally but I go on holiday on sunday and will start my Soy Isoflavones so hopeflly those along with some much needed R&R and lots of holiday sex will do the trick.

Thank you lovely ladies, sorry to be so self indulgent but my heart hurts today. ? x

Phryn it's so recent, no wonder you feel so heartbroken still. Stay at gone, take it easy and wait until you're feeling a bit stronger xx

Hi ladies. Mind if I join you?
Bit about me;
Ds 3.5 arrived after 6yrs ttc, 3rd ivf.
Discovered in dec I can conceive if taking aspirin but mc in feb at 8.5 and then again in aug at 11.2
Docs app today to try to get referred, am 42 so hoping they will rather than wait for the 3rd mc.
Planning to dtd ttc as soon as bleeding stops - from what I understand the only reason to wait is to date the pregnancy? As I had a 8.3 wk scan that was all good I see no point in dating so that I can have an early scan.

Will have a read of thread later to get to know u all :)
X

Hello everyone and thanks for the welcome. Welcome too safra. Sorry to everyone going through a hard time.

Sunbathing. What the book says is that pcos comes with high lh levels throughout your cycle ( which is what the opk picks up). This inhibits progesterone production which in turn stops the womb lining getting thick enough for proper implantation, causing failure to implant and early miscarriage. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a quick fix and I think this is why st Mary's haven't actually tested my hormones. All they could offer me was the reassurance that with extra care in early pregnancy 70% of women with three early unexplained miscarriages had a successful pregnancy next time and the suggestion that losing a little weight might help. Others have been prescribed progesterone and metformin though so I am wondering if I should push for more tests.

safra I hope your go is helpful. If not I can tell you more about private testing if you are interested.

Doctor was very helpful and is referring me. I was given a progesterone pessary for last pg but didn't get it till 9.2 so hopefully will have a better result using it from bfp. Of course I am totally assuming will fall again immediately! Didn't last time (took 4 cycles) but that was because I was on steroids to help... Fell the first month they stopped so assuming not so helpful!

Read thru this thread and omg what you've all been thru is just bloody awful. So sorry for those who are going thru it still. I'm coping by just trying not to think about it..... Not the healthiest way and I'm sure it'll catch up with me.

I'm also a teacher..... Well of sorts! Driving instructor. :)) self employed thank god so no effing awful heads to deal with (what a bitch!)

Off for dinner - back on slimming world so having a very yummy pea and bacon risotto. I WILL get that bloody stone off!!

Hi everyone - I don't post too much but I do keep updated with the thread on a daily basis. Im sorry that there are so many newbies and that lots of you are having a hard time at the moment.I'm having a tough time of it today and need somewhere to off load so I hope you all don't mind x

I'm currently on 3rd cycle post mc. The WTF cycle lasted 35 days, next cycle was 27. I had pre mc cycles of around 26-28 days so I thought I was back to normal. I invested in the new CBFM this month so I could try and track cycles. DH and I are not frequent dtd - ers so I thought this would help target the key days to aim at. He thinks the CBFM is a waste of money but doesn't seem to understand that the window of opportunity is so small.

Anyhow I started on CD6 as requested and got a high reading, this has continued but no peak came. As I thought my cycles were back to normal we dtd on CD 8, 10,12 and 14 (this was a really good effort on our part and I felt we stood a good chance this month) continued to get highs but have read elsewhere that this is common on first cycle. Today is cd20 and I got a peak. Whilst I should be really happy that it shows I am ovulating I'm really really pissed off that this will prob mean this months cycle will be back in the 30 day plus category and everything is still messed up. Don't think there is any chance of persuading DH to dtd tonight so feel like I have wasted yet another month.

I hate what mc has done to me both at the time and for what seems like months after. I hate the obsessive person I have become. I was never someone who always wanted children it just seemed like the thing we should do when you get to a certain age. However now I can't stop thinking about it, it's like someone has told me that I can't do something so I am desperate to prove them wrong. I thought I was handling the mc well but I'm not.

I really hate the person I've become and I really hate mc and what it has done to me.

Really really sorry for the self indulgent rant but I don't have anyone in RL that I talk to about it x

Foxtrot that is exactly how I feel, mc is just the cruelest thing and it has made me bitter and a bit mean. I don't feel happy for other people really, on some level I am but mostly it just reminds me that I can't have what I really want. And like you I never really wanted children, now I want lots and I can't seem to manage it. This cycle is the worst, the WTF - it makes no sense. OPKs haven't really helped me but I'm just wanting AF to arrive so we can get on with it. At least WTf cycle is the same for everyone so we know its normal! Don't apologise for self indulgence, that's that this thread is for and everyone is feeling the same at some point.

Hi longestlurker and safra, I hope your stay is short and that you are both ok. It's not the best circumstances to meet but it's a lovely, supportive thread.

I think this cycle is going to go on forever and ever.

English sorry AF arrived but it's great that you're onto a shiney new cycle. Lots and lots of luck with this one. Have a great holiday, that sounds so perfect right now. Let us know how the soy isoflavones go.

Hey all. Shit shit shit day today.

Went to docs to try and be referred to pregnancy loss clinic at Bhams Women's as I've had 2 and was hoping my age would go in my favour.

Nope, nada. Zilch. Not budging. Due to the size, Birmingam University Hospitals Trust only refer after 3. No less. Non negotiable. As there are simply too many people.

Was told that it was just bad luck and I need to try again as they can't do anything.

Then if I have a 3rd then I will get referred as that is standard procedure.

Gutted. I was told I had to reduce the stress from my life as not conducive to baby making.

She also felt I wasn't mentally ready to try again.

I'm gutted. I know I was clutching at straws - I guess my feeling was I'd hope they'd find something simple like me needing aspirin and then I'd be fixed. But no.

Today is a shit shit day. Have cried so much. Am worried now bout becoming a burden to my DP which is crazy I knw. I don't want to be upset but I can't help it

Hey lurker, welcome over to this neck of woods x

Thank you ladies, its nice to know it's normal to feel like that.

I had a terrible day at work but at least that means I've had an easier night at home!

I need to read back so will do that now xxx

My sister has just told me her boss over at Worcester is a clinical director who specialises in early miscarriage and I can pay to see him at Spire in Worcester if I want to go privately

She did warn me though its a dark dark rabbit hole and it can suck you in. And I guess think about how far I am willing to go to find answers. She also feels as a medical professional and as my sister that I'm not mentally ready at the moment.

I'm just frustrated and sad.

Big hugs to e everyone else feeling sad and upset xx