TTC after a MC (I'm really rubbish at thread titles sorry)

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

June rocks, Treacle ! I absolutely love my birthday!

Going back to work tomorrow after nearly 9 weeks off. Terrified. Sad. Tired. Empty.

Sending hugs to anyone in need.

Thinking of you all going back to work this week. My first day after 2 weeks sick leave was today. It was ok. I did cry but my colleagues all know and they've been fantastic. I'm very lucky.

Had a long chat with my sis today who is an obs & gynae registrar about my docs appt on Wednesday and she told me what to say so hopefully I'll get referred to the pregnancy loss clinic at Bham Women's rather than be told. " sorry you've only had 2 "

But she us also begging me to wait a couple of months until after holiday and moving house as she feels no stress is the best thing. I know she's right but I can't imagine at the moment not throwing myself into trying again

Haha June it is them mademoiselle!

Good luck today. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I felt terrible yesterday going back. I have to say it wasn't as bad as I expected apart from putting dates in the diary - I felt a bit cheated.

Look after yourself and if it's too much tell them.

First day with the kids in today. I'm nervous! :p

Oh and brummie, don't worry about trying now.
Plenty of people are stressed in pregnancy and are fine. I lost count of the people who asked me if I miscarried because of stress. No! No I didn't.

Bug hugs and I hope you get your sticky bfp soon.

Hello everyone,

I've just found this new thread. Does Mumsnet chat only support threads of a certain length?

Well, I'm currently on CD35 of my first proper cycle after the MC (I don't really count the WTF cycle). I don't think I'm pregnant as I've absolutely no symptoms and last time I had terribly sore boobs almost straight away (I think). I'm trying the cheapy OPK sticks from Amazon when I remember but haven't had a glimmer of a positive on them yet so goodness knows what's going on in there at the moment. We're DTD at least every other day so here's hoping.

Sorry to see some new names on the thread. It's not a place that anyone wants to find themselves but it's certainly a help to know that there are others out there who understand how you feel in one way or another.

Does anyone else find that their OH just doesn't seem to understand the sense of desperation and urgency that you have to be pg? I fell so quickly after i came off the pill in March and yet was so terrified of pregnancy and giving birth. I even wondered if it was the right time for us to be having a baby because it would mean giving up some of the fun things that we're able to do when it's just the two of us. And here I am feeling so guilty for having negative thoughts about that pregnancy. I also feel so angry with myself for taking it for granted and for worrying about silly things like weight gain and stretch marks. Oh how I'd give anything to be in that position again now!

Another crazy, silly, totally ridiculous idea that's been rattling around in my brain recently - Does anyone else worry that they're worrying too much and that the stress is stopping you getting pg? I mean, how absurd is that??!!! I really need to get a grip! Argh!

Anyway, sorry to ramble on for so long. Just felt like sharing those thoughts. It's good to get things down in writing sometimes isn't it?

xx

Got my next lot of results. HCG has gone up to 60,000. I thought it should be higher seem as though it was 33,000 last Wednesday but the doctor said it's still going up enough to be within the limits. I did manage to wrangle myself a reassurance scan though so it's all good. Got that on Friday. Then I have to ring the doctor and tell them what happened so they can get the ball rolling with the mw and apparently I'll be under a Consultant again so that will be sorted out too. So far it's looking good, the doctor said if the spotting was anything significant it would of shown up with my levels going down. It reassured me a bit but I'm still cautious.

SunbathingCat - My OH is the exactly the same. He seems to think we're super fertile because I got pregnant so easily in April. He came home from work earlier and saw me typing away furiously at my previous message. When I told him what I was doing he laughed and rolled his eyes. Men can be so thoughtless sometimes can't they? I reminded him that it makes FAR more sense to be in a forum like this than the car forums he chats away on from time to time, all that talk of paint jobs, engines and exhausts

You're right of course. I was worrying about being able to get pregnant last time and I needn't have been. Strangely enough I wasn't worrying about MC - I certainly will be next time!! And there will be a next time. I'm trying to be positive!

Lauren - That's such great news. I hope Friday whips around quickly for you and you see that tiny little heart beat for the first time. How far along are you? Xx

Thanks for the replies about the thyroid question, I think I'll make an appointment with the dr for a blood test. There is a very helpful dr at my GP surgery who will probably help. I think I do have some of the symptoms, although I don't feel the cold any more than I have previously I do have issues with my weight that I didn't have pre DS and AF is incredibly heavy to the point where I sometimes don't want to go out incase I can't get to a toilet. My hair and nails are also brittle and out of condition despite my diet being fairly healthy (no takeaways, no alcohol). Maybe I'm clutching at straws but I think it's a possibility. I can't scroll back on my phone but thanks to whoever gave the info about thyroid issues being linked to miscarriage - very interesting!

Lauren that's great news about your levels, the dr sounds confident so you should be too but I know it must be difficult. Good luck with the scan on Friday .

Well still no sign of a BFP or AF, I haven't tested today as I have no tests left. I'm not planning on buying any until I get some distinguishable symptoms, I can't deal with the disappointment again. I honestly just feel like I have bad PMT, nothing like I felt when I've been pregnant. I'm so impatient with this cycle now, I'm on cd35 which and my app has completely removed and fertile days from October so that's just made me feel worse .

I feel like I'm never going to get another BFP, nevermind one which will stick. It was so easy the first time, I'm sure I've jinxed myself for even thinking it might be straight forward.

SunbathingCat - I was wondering exactly the same thing. Which pill were you on?

Sarahlou I'm 6+4, I'll be 7 weeks exactly on Friday for the scan so chances are they can find a HB.

Just a brief hello to send big HUGS and and to everyone - so sorry to see so many people feeling so bad. It's a cruel world, but so reassuring to come on here into our little bubble of people who understand.

Super to hear from positive news too, yay! Keep it coming ladies - we will get there, somehow.

I went back to work yesterday (I'm not a teacher - does that mean I have to leave?? seriously all you teachers are amazing, what you do is so important and so hard). I survived the day OK but then had total meltdown on DH in bed, wracking sobs for ages and woke up DD . Pulled head together to go back in today, second email I receive is from a work friend, telling me she's PG, due date almost when mine would have been. Total meltdown, sprint out of building. Luckily DH was working nearby so I stormed in to find him and he spent an hour calming me down. I guess last week's numb feelings are over and I'm back to it really, really hurting. I suddenly started bleeding last night too, after a week of light or no bleeding, it was back to as heavy as just after the ERPC, so I wonder if that was related. I just want bleeding to stop and to get my body feeling normal again and get the negative test so I can start thinking of TTC. Right now I just feel fat and broken (I was only 12 weeks but still seem to show now, even more than a week after the op). OK, end of self-indulgent bit. Sorry

New joiners - these ladies are amazing, so understanding and supportive and know so much. Please just let it out here, everyone will hold your hands and mop up tears.

Really glad to hear some of you are pushing ahead with getting referrals etc, best of luck for the appointments and getting doctors on side. And hurrah to some of the OHs listening and understanding. It is tough on them too, and some boys just don't show it well. Mine calls MN my crazy lady page, but he knows it helps and has lent me his laptop to type this, so maybe he does get it...

Big hugs to you Mrsconfusion. It's so hard when other people's happy news just detonates the grip that you have of holding it together. Glad you could run to your OH at lunch. My DH and I have taken calling each other at lunch to touch base and try and get through the day (miscarriage started a week ago tommorow). Hope you stop bleeding soon and that tomorrow is a better day.

I'm also not a teacher and I think/hope we won't be thrown of the thread for that...

MrsConfusion - I too can relate to most of what you are saying and describong. I am so sorry you are going through this. 12 weeks, especially if it's not your first, means you would have definitely been showing quite a bit (if I was anything to go by, you must have looked about 5 moths gone!) and I cannot quite believe that you were back at work already. I am amazed. Truly impressed at your strength.
It sounds as though your DH is supportive now and I am glad he is, as this is such a hard thing to go through.
Take your time. Grieve. Cry. Be gentle to yourself - and by that I mean not agreeing to doing anything other than what you absolutely have to do.
You sound incredibly brave.

Keep leaning on all of us, as we all do.

AFM - went back to work and guess what, I am still alive. It's unbelievable how one person's world can crumble and go to pieces, yet the whole bloody wide world carries on as if nothing at all had happened. It was so easy to pretend all was well at work - I almost felt guilty for not thinking about baby G for over an hour. (and by that I don't mean any type of criticism for those of you who went straight back, I have actually been on Summer holiday so not technically off!) - it just felt terribly odd. Weird, and right, and wrong, all at the same time.

Still no bloody period though - I hope it won't be too long...

Big hugs and to all!

Oh gosh - fellow teachers, we are scaring them all away! Please stay!!!!

I know what you mean mademoiselle. Please don't feel guilty. We all have to carry on with our lives best as we can and that means focusing on other things.
I do know what you mean though. Sometimes I feel better just wallowing in it all. I feel like if im sad then at least I'm acknowledging it.

Hope it wasn't too bad for you today though xxx

I actually had a nice day at work. Which means a shit time at home. It's like i use all my energy being "happy" at work.

So sorry Mrsconfusion, i can relate a lot to your feelings xxx

Oh treacle ... I know what you mean by that too and am sorry. I actually almost prefer having a bad time at work so that it's less hard at home sometimes - if that makes sense.

I hope you have a medium day at work tomorrow and therefore a medium (i.e. not bad) day at home after it x

Confusion I'm sorry you had a bad day, you're being so strong and grieving is important in the healing process. It's nice you have your DH to support you. Mademoiselle is exactly right - only do what you absolutely have to do and be kind to yourself.

So many things on here ring true tonight - the crying and the wallowing, I do it because it makes me feel like I'm acknowledging it rather than ignoring it. I mentioned to someone at work what had happened, she was lovely about it and has been really kind to me without mentioning it again. I feel better knowing that someone knows why I might not be working at the rate I would normally, even if we don't sit and chat about it. I feel a bit like I've over shared now though, but I just couldn't hold it in.

I'm supposed to be going on a night out at the weekend, I don't think I can face it. I know that a change of scenery might help but I know that one of the girls going is pregnant and has the same due date as I would have had. No one knows but me and DH, I feel so selfish but I don't think I can do it. I think this is making me feel worse about what happened, I have a constant reminder of what I lost and what I'm struggling to get back. I never wanted to be that person, but since the miscarriage that's exactly who I've become.

Im sorry to everyone who is struggling tonight, tomorrow will be a better day and even though nothing really changes things look so much better on a new day. It is funny how there are so many teachers on here!

I just want AF to show up or, by some unlikely miracle, a BFP. I'm regretting not DTD for longer now, we stopped after the OPKs were positive and then I think I ov'd the week after. So although I'm 'waiting' for AF now I think I'm actually due in a week. Urgh.

Dulcet I had an ectopic pregnancy in April so if you have any questions ask away. My pain was one sided, positive of tests, brown spotting which turned red just before I was scanned at 6 weeks. My hcg levels were doubling but were low for 6 weeks pg.

I'd def get in touch with your local EPU for advice. If you get any shoulder tip pain, go straight to A&E, don't wait as pain in that area can be internal bleeding. I had internal bleeding and didn't even get the shoulder pain, just terrible back pain. I hope all is ok though x