TTC after a MC (I'm really rubbish at thread titles sorry)

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Well done Pharyn, that can't have been easy at all. One day at a time, you've done great!

Tranquility there it's definitely a line there! I'd request a different dr. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, sending hugs your way. Life is just horribly cruel sometimes.

I'm feeling really down today for some reason, I've been quite positive lately but not today. I think it's because I'm on cd14 and unsure of when I'll ovulate. We've DTD on cd 11 and cd13, I'm thinking we should do it again today just incase. I've certainly got ewcm and I feel all bloated up which I assume to be ovulation symptoms. That's what used to happen, but it hasn't happened for a while.

I don't really feel like dtd anyway, just had an argument with DH although not strictly his fault. My friend had her scan today and I said it would be hard to see the picture, I'd be 12 weeks today exactly. I not feeling upset, just a bit sad that it won't be happening for us this time. His response was basically that these things are going to happen, our mc was a while ago so it's about time we (I) stopped going on about it and be happy for other people. He'd never have those expectations of anyone else we know, in fact he's accused me of not being sympathetic enough to his relative who this happened to. It really pissed me off so I'm off out to my exercise class and we're not speaking. I know what he means, but he's made me feel like I shouldn't be upset anymore because it's been more weeks since the mc than I was pregnant. Urgh this sucks.

So I'm seeking positivity. DH isn't awful, it's just he expects himself to get over it. So I suppose he thinks I'd feel better if I did the same. The thing is, he doesn't see anyone who talks to him about pregnancy. I do.

Sorry for the moan, just need to get it out. I'll be seeing my friend in a bit so I hope it makes me feel better like it did last time. I still don't know why it helps, I'd have thought it would do the opposite.

Hope everyone is ok, catch up in a bit.

Blink. Sorry you had a row. You sound a lovely person being able to see it from his point of view. I just flyoff the han and seethe at mine till I have had enough of being in a mood at him and then we make up.

Know what you mean about seeing friends. I saw a pregnant friend the day after my mc and it made me feel better because I was able to be happy for her in person. I was worried I had turned into an ogre. The green eyed monster was a bit harder to keep at bay the next time I saw her though, but I babysat her dd for her 12 week scan and was proud of myself again which was a massive relief ans it's been ok since then.

blink, many hugs to you. My dh is the same. At first, I put it down to him trying to block out his hurt and disappointment but when we were on holiday last week, he just said "I'm not talking any more about the mc. It happened, it's very sad, but it happened at the end of February and chit chatting about it isn't going to make it suddenly come back." V harsh I thought. Especially as it was on the eve of what should've been my due date But that's men - something happens, they're over it, they never dwell. Look at how they fall out with other blokes - argue, punch up maybe (not my DH's way but others maybe) then it's a pint in the pub and all forgotten. They're such simple creatures!

lurker, you're a true friend. Babysitting while your friend has her scan? That is genuine saintliness right there.

Sorry to hear you're all having problems with your dh's. Mine is surprised that I am still so upset, but has been very supportive and says we should just take it one day at a time. Men are harder to talk to than woman though aren't they? When you drop a hint that something's happened that you want to talk about, another woman would start asking questions but men don't seem to spot the sign that you want to talk!

The pregnant woman was chatting about her 20 week scan near to my bank of desks today. I got up and walked off - audibly huffed too I think (I'd like to say that I didn't mean to huff and it came out by accident, but I just don't think I give a shit anymore). Anyway, when I got back to my desk two of the women who know about the MC asked if I was OK. At first I was concerned that I hadn't been subtle enough, but then decided it was actually nice to receive some compassion for once. My boss was in earshot though which was a bit cringe.

Oh Broody and blink am so sorry your dh's are being this way. Ok mine were May and August I still feel overwhelmed at times. Mine has been wonderful but he doesn't talk much about it.

Well I'm on cd 6 and I failed in my "no opk's" and bought some more Clearblue sticks. aaah loser. I wanted to be disciplined and harder. Sadly I'm not.
Thing is I need to start testing on cd 7 and that's tomorrow.
Sigh - here we go again. Shit scared but I want to be a Mum so badly so that is overriding my terror

I think DH is thinking I should get over it and it only happened on Saturday. Every time I try to talk about it or tell him how I am feeling a bit down he kind of changes the subject. I just don't think he is too good at talking about the emotional stuff but I need him to listen and be interested right now.

Part of me wants to start trying again now but I am guessing it is pretty pointless this soon...

Hi all, trying to read back but I've missed a lot.
Sorry lots of you are struggling :(

I've just caught up with a friend who had her baby august (started ttc just before us).
Sigh.
Need some advice really, went to the dentist earlier and they did an x ray. I'm probs 1dpo, will it matter? :/

Just saw your news sunbathing, sorry for being ignorant but not sure what that is. I hope you don't have any problems ttc from it x

Thank you all :), your words make me feel so much better. I don't know what I'd do without our thread :). Lurker I do fly off the handle usually! I'm really trying to curb my temper as I think I've been a bit too much that way lately and although DH hasn't said anything he seems too scared to even ask me questions these days. I never wanted to be that person, I've always been laid back but since DS and especially lately after the mc I've been awful. He doesn't deserve it, he's really nice and always puts me first. So I'm trying :). He apologised when I came home, he basically said what your DH said Broody and explained that sometimes he doesn't realise that I'm still in that place.

Urgh. I'm feeling better now, it wasn't difficult seeing my friend and her scan picture. I thought I'd be upset but I'm not, maybe that's because I'm cycle day 14 and I'm thinking we have another chance this month. Lurker you deserve a sainthood for that, you sound like such a lovely friend! It weird how it does actually help though.

Brummie I almost did the same except when I went into the shop I realised I'd left my purse in the car. I took that as divine intervention and drove home :). I'm cd 14 so I think I'll get some of the cheap internet ones and test after I think I should have ovulated whilst carrying on DTD every other day. I think we missed it last month as we stopped DTD after day 16 when my app said it was over. I don't think my app is very effective!

Thesmallbear how awful for you, there's nothing wrong with wanting someone to recognise that you're hurting and censoring what they say around you. I've done this for so many people in the past, the only exception is for people who come into my home to visit my DS then I just say what comes naturally unless I know for sure that there is an issue. It's such a horrible situation when it's at work, trying to maintain some professionalism is impossible.

Purplegiraffe I think it's best to do what your heart is telling you! there's nothing to say it's too early and loads of people get pregnant in their wtf cycle. I tried because although I knew it might not happen I felt like I had to try for my sanity. I felt better by taking action rather than getting to the point where it was too late and having a change of heart. I didn't get pregnant in that cycle and I'm onto my second now but it did help. The OPKs and symptom spotting drove me to the point of insanity though, the only helpful thing about that was the flashing and static smileys which suggested my hormones were doing the right thing. It also helped me to figure out when AF should be arriving. Do what makes you feel better, not what you think makes sense :). We're all here to listen.

Blink, glad you're feeling a bit better.
Definitely does affect us more than our partners.

Thank you sunbathing! This great to hear. I did think 1dpo is a bit early but I'm not sure when exactly ovulation was. Just frightened to do anything wrong to be honest.

Evening ladies. Trying to catch up - not helped by wine (yum, bad but frankly yum)

stopeatingthatmud yay to race! Cycles before MC varied from 19 to 29 days, so who knows...

boozle you are an inspiration, saying what we all want to say. It all just seems like so much bullsht doesn't it? Our office move has ended up with me on a 4-desk island with the pregnant member of our team, and our chattiest, most baby-obsessed staff member, so every five minutes it's updates from one or advice from the other. Only had to leave the room once today (but was out a lot at other times for meetings), need to learn to block them out. Phryn* I take courage from your example, you're amazing

tranquility yes that's a line, maybe try another GP if they're not listening? So important to have a doc you can talk to.

blink sorry to hear about row with DH, it's hard to understand when they seem to want to leave it behind, but I guess maybe they find it hard to understand how different it is for us, our bodies perhaps make it more intense/longer? Hope you can make up later tonight.

treacle I had an Xray with my DD pregnancy before i got BFP, asked the GP who said not to worry (and also not to worry about the alcohol, naughty cheese or seafood - it had been our 10 year anniversary and I'd convinced myself i wasn't pg so indulged in all the wrong things...) so try not fret.

Finally got a call from the hospital today, to say.... our test results weren't ready. Apparently lab reckons another 10 days (on top of the nearly 4 weeks we've waited already since EPRC). The nurse mentioned that they're doing extra tests in addition to the full chromosome analysis which takes longer. Anyone know if this is normal or might they be looking for something extra? Worrying myself now that they think it's something more than straightforward chromosome issue.

DH due back from week's work tonight, had such awful time not sleeping last night (awake until gone 2am due to my whirling brain, cat and awake DD) that I think I might just wait up until he's back (midnight). I sleep so much better when he's here. And hopefully the wine will help too

Big waves to everyone x

Thanks Blink we are definitely going to try this month, we have nothing to lose and we will feel like we are at least doing something. And I really don't care about dating the pregnancy if by some small chance it actually did happen.
Only thing is we won't have a clue where I am in the cycle but I don't want to miss my window so I guess we need to dtd every other day but I'm not sure how long we can keep that up for, especially as I go back to work soon. My mc happened on Saturday so less than a week ago so I guess it's not worth starting tonight but I don't want to wait too long and miss it...
Sorry for rambling.

Blink hope you can make it up tonight and get it that all important dtd.

Confusion hope you got some sleep, sorry you are having a scary time with your results. Fingers crossed it's all ok.

Sunbathing you have me convinced that this is your month!

Purple just go for it. That's what I'm doing and it's making me feel better. Dating doesn't matter really does it. Apart from they'd need to know if it's small for the dates like mine was last time. But that's not going to happen again so it doesn't matter.

mrs ha I'm the complete opposite! DP is a terrible snorer and fidget, I really struggled with him coming off working nights earlier this year and being here every night.

My Internet cheapies arrived today so obviously had to POAS. Only 9 days after I got the closest to what I think may have been a positive opk but still not sure. Obviously it was a BFN. I knew it would be, I'm only on day 27 of WTF cycle, pre mc I ranged from 26-34 days I think. Yet I'm still strangely disappointed. Why do we do these things eh?

On the plus side I can now go and get some thrush treatment without panicking I shouldn't be taking it itchy face

I suspect wine may be consumed tonight...

MrsConfusion - if the women you sit with know about the MC and are carrying on like that, then they are a pair of dick heads quite frankly!

I am really tired today, not sure if I'm catching the cold that's going round the office, if it's because I'm depressed, if I'm still working off the excess from the holiday or all of the above. Still failing miserably to get stuff done!

Hello ladies

Oh Wiggly so sorry that is really tough. Hope the doctor can either suggest something or put your mind at rest. I have also just mc at 5 weeks and am petrified it's going to happen again.
A friend of mine has recently qualified as a reflexologist and is big on the benefits for fertility. I might be giving her a call soon