TTC after a MC (I'm really rubbish at thread titles sorry)

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Love wine, mine's happily chilling in the fridge. Thank goodness it's the weekend

Ooo what wine have you got boozle? :)

Cd14 for me and we are dtd tonight. Sperm, meet egg!

boozle loved hearing about your DH. He sounds lovely.

Jealous of all your wine. I didn't buy any as DH is awwy and I don't want to drink it all. Have a couple of beers in the fridge and a bottle of gin but no tonic. Maybe a cheeky beer is ok... this afternoon felt like beer weather!

I'm home alone watching Grand Designs and drinking beer #fridaynightlegend
At least Grand Designs doesn't make me cry any more!

Boozle Thank you :) Oh I could SO do with a glass of red wine right now but I'm a bit nervous about drinking at the mo. To make matters worse my OH is out boozing in town tonight with his mates whereas I've got a 5:30am alarm tomorrow morning for work. Argh!!! Hmm, there's a lovely slab of Green & Black's chocolate in the kitchen calling to me :)

Treacle Have lots of fun tonight ;)

That's supposed to be a winking smiley face at the end there

Had a terrible day today.

Cried at my sister's son's birthday party as one of the guests asked if I was going to have another one. Fortunately kept myself together infront of the lady but then cried all over my sister and my Mum.

I also burnt my maternity notes from January. My EDD was 25/09 and all I have to show for this year is 2 miscarriages. I keep having suicidal thoughts that are worrying me as well. I'm not sure I would act on then but my brain is so irrational lately I'm not 100% sure.

I guess this is what long term TTC can do for you in the twilight years of fertility.

NewEra it's amazingly crap isn't it? All you can do is look to the future and the little bean that one day you will hold.
I've just put my name down for counselling as a way to try to look after my emotional health - 2 bereavements in one year is a lot to deal with.
What does your dr say about testing - sometimes if you're over 35 they'll help you out after two mc?
Sending you massive hugs, is there anyone in RL you can get a proper hug from? Xx

Haha, thanks Sarah!!! :)

Oh Newera, so sorry you've had a difficult time. Maybe see a counsellor you're having worrying thoughts?

Just sending you a big hug New. Wish I was there to give you a real one. It is all-consuming isn't it? I try and remind myself that there are worse things that can happen to a family. Dr, dh and I are all healthy and I try and hold on to that but it's hard. I don't make a very good saint.

Newera just wanted to send some hugs and say well done for telling us how bad you're feeling- really important to let it out somewhere. Sounds like you could do with some support in RL, is there anyone you can talk with? Meanwhile keep posting here. There are such black days in this process, but you're not alone.

Hugs for you too Broody, such a tough day. We're all thinking of you and understanding. sunbathing, argh, sometimes you just couldn't make it up. Do complain if you have the energy - maybe wait until your next angry day and take it out on NHS.

Well done all of us for getting to Friday, yay to those with , have just had a cheeky port (how middle aged am I??). Another week done, and this week I didn't faint at work (bonus) although am wiped out.

Good luck to all those plotting to POAS and symptom spotting!

Hmm, , confession - DTD this morning - totally blame you all for putting the idea in my head! It was just a cuddle honest, then, um, developed into something rather more vigorous . Although that's totally scuppered my determination to wait until after AF before starting ttc, given I've no idea how long WTF cycle will last. Looks from others' posts as if it could be anything from days to weeks. Ah well, will NOT become obsessive. Or not yet....

Well we haven't managed to dtd. Too much pain for me tonight. That means we haven't dtd since Wednesday. Will try in the morning but worried we'll miss it.

Good luck with the not obsessing mrsconfusion haha :p

Feel like I'm having another wtf cycle and generally fed up of the inconsistencies post mc (again). I'm now on third cycle, wtf was 35, then 28 and now CD30. Had tiny bit of spotting yesterday then nothing. Got really bad AF cramps, never got these pre mc and fully expected AF to be in full flow but nothing. Also have an eruption of spots on my chin.

Used the CBFM this cycle and got highs for days and thought this would continue as it can in first month. Dtd the days around the time I would expect to ovulate. Then got a peak at cd20. Didn't dtd around this time at all. I then started to panic about a short luteal phase as expected/hoped for a 28 day cycle again.

Now I'm worrying because AF hasn't arrived which means cycles are still all over the place.... pretty sure I can't be upduffed as major cramps and didn't dtd around ovulation ( if CBFM it's accurate). I worry about whether it is accurate and also worry that ovulation was delayed by me worrying!

I'm just a worrying mess!

Sorry again for another self indulgent rant, it seems the only time I post on here is for a rant.

Big hugs to all those struggling xx

foxtrot you sound exactly like me. Wtf cycle 35days, then 27 now cd30 and still no AF. I woke up yesterday morning with strong cramps, convinced it was starting, but still nothing. Now huge boobs. I did a test on cd27 and bfn. I've started to get my hopes up though, as the only time I have ever had cramps and no period I have been pregnant. Are you going to test? I'm going to wait until tomorrow. I have set myself up for an enormous fall if it is negative, you might have to catch me ladies.

This whole miscarriage malarkey is so utterly shit. As well as grief and sadness we have to contend with fear and worry about our cycles and just what the hell is going on. Another older bird here, I'm starting to panic completely that I have left it too late. I certainly don't think I'll be able to have two.

Big hugs for you broody, yesterday must have been tough.

new please post here if you ever feel that way. I've had exactly the same thoughts as you. I should have been having my first baby in 2014 and instead it's been the worst year of my life. If it turns out we never end up having children I really don't think that's something I would be able to deal with. Thee are black days though and it's not always like that. Keep posting here, we know how you feel.

longest fingers crossed for you too! When are you testing again?

Hugs to everyone else, sorry if I have missed anyone. You are all brave big girl pant ladies xx

Hi monten - it's crap to say but glad I'm not alone. I don't think I will test, don't want the disappointment. I will at least wait until I'm past day 35 as use wtf cycle as a baseline measure! Don't think the cramps I am feeling can = pregnancy, this is exactly what happened on my wtf cycle - some spotting, cramps and then AF showed up about 5 days later.

I will wait it out but just really pissed off that the mc saga continues x

Oh monten. I feel for you. Please post here too if you feel like that again. I feel very privileged that I have my dd and I know I would find it even harder if I didn't so I admire your strength. I am sure you will get there. The dr keeps telling me that the fact I can conceive is a really good sign and my odds are very good so the same goes for you.

I don't know. I might break the rules and test again tomorrow but since my symptoms went I don't have my hopes up.

Sympathies on the cycle stuff. My cycle is regular but unusually long and I hate it. Every time I get an af it's a full four weeks till I can try again and six weeks till I can test again and it feels like forever. I have conceived every third cycle but that means five or six months of trying each time and with the mcs in between it is over 18 months of it taking over my life when I just want to enjoy dd while se is small. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Ps sorry also to treacle. The pain sounds awful. I am sorry, I have no experience of this so no advice to offer. Is there any treatment?

Hi ladies sorry to hear about the rubbish news on the last few pages. Wondering if I can join? Currently ttc#1 since march and still recovering from missed miscarriage at 12 weeks but hoping for a bit of support and fingers crossed to hearing some new goods

Big hugs ladies.
How we keep going is amazing.

Thanks lurker, the only treatment I've been offered is dilators. Which are basically didos. That I have to insert everyday and they increase in width so you build up to it not hurting. Problem is it hurts so I never want to do it.
We managed to dtd this morning at least.

Sorry your cycles are so long :( must be hard. I have the problem of irregular cycles so I never know how long they will be until I ovulate.

Well I'm now on CD46. Did a test this morning which was negative but I'm still hoping and praying that it's just a case of testing too early. Am having some very definite symptoms, particularly my sore nips (sorry, I cringe when I write that word - is there another word for the N things on your boobs??). It's like a prickly, stabbing soreness when you go in the shower or accidentally brush against something. Does anyone know what I mean? I'm sure it's different to my usual pre-AF symptoms, and so similar to what I experienced when I was pg in May. Trying not to get excited...!

Welcome claire and sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place for handholding. Are you ttc at the moment?

What about lubricant treacle? Presumably you have tried various types of that? Sympathy. It sounds awful.

Fingers crossed Sarah.

Thanks Lurker, we use preseed which goes a long way towards helping.

Sunbathing I probably should go back. If I don't conceive this cycle I'll go back and ask for help. It's so frustrating.
Fingers crossed for you :) I don't normally ovulate until late in my cycle but my smiley is flashing and my temp rose today. So hoping it is just my cold because we missed a few days dtd.
Glad that they were apologetic regarding your letter, so they should be!

Thanks girls. Didn't mean to be a total downer, yesterday was a very bad day.

To be honest I wouldn't have tested but I had decided to invest in a Ovusense machine and wanted to know I wasn't pregnant before AF so I ordered it before AF came. All that happened was I felt absolutely horrendous days before my period is due and I'm still undecided about the machine.

Because I think I have a foot in my peri-menopause I'm finding the clearblue monitor isn't accurate anymore. It's giving me all sorts of weird readings. I am also unsure if I'm even ovulating. This Ovusense thing works on taking your core BBT so would confirm ovulation if and when I do. I thought it might be reassuring, but at £300 that's an expensive bit of reassurance. Don't know, I'm undecided and feel a bit defeated.

Afternoon everyone, just checking in. Welcome to all the new posters, sorry we have to meet like this.

Not much going on here, I'm on cd9 so my fertile window is right around the corner I hope. I've managed to stop myself buying OPKs this month, I almost did but I can't take another month of obsessing so I'm going to try and read my body. Plus, last month was my wtf cycle and if it happens like that again I'll spend a fortune trying to pinpoint my fertile,days. So, I'm only armed with my app and reading my body this month. I know I'll be kicking myself for this by the end of the month, it's hard enough knowing when the tww starts without going into that blind too!

I managed to see my friend who is due at the same time as I would have been, it's her scan soon so I'm trying not to think about it. I've been a bit sad but I'm hoping that I'll get past it. I just feel quite down about it but forcing myself to be happy and not stressed. It's hard.

Sorry to everyone who is suffering at the moment, I hope you are all ok.