TTC after a MC (I'm really rubbish at thread titles sorry)

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Thanks metal. At EPU now waiting for scan. Inappropriate things to find - hello magazine with headline 'Kate sines - the smile that shoes she's ready to be a mum'. From June 2013 though so must be from last time. Why would they have that here?!

Will have to try and find the fighty thread - love a bit of outrage!

Wow, lots of team Bloody September Due Date Whacking Us Over The Head people! Mine is Sept 30, I guess I'm in the same boat. Trying not to think about it. Like you ladies I obvi won't be preg again by then but I guess I'm lucky (?!?!) in that I've been pregnant in the interim (and lost it sadly) but I know I can get pregnant reasonably easily (!)

That girl on the grumpy 20wk thread reminded me SO much of someone I know (who's not, to my knowledge, 20wks preg) but I did do a double take. It was her responses which escalated the whole thing, so unnecessary. Her DH sounded like a right w*nker as well.

ignominious for my first preg I used a normal boots cheapo thermometer which worked fine, it's a mouth one. For my 2nd I found one with 2 decimal points which I find way better/more specific. You're supposed to use it in mouth or down south but I find the down south a bit icky. Not sure what DH would do if I started sticking it there... but it's supposed to be more reliable. TBH I've found it easy enough to track using mouth readings. I'm defo in the habit, I reach for it on my bedside table as soon as my eyes feel open each AM! I use the fertilityfriend app which allows you to track all sorts of stuff which has worked well for me in the past.

Monten I didn't get given anything. I had my last scan before the miscarriage at 8 weeks. Sac was measuring 6 weeks but they could only see the yolk sac.

Phryn I get a lot of those cysts, it will go away but I know they are horrible :(

Will read back properly in a min, just eating lunch and watching loose women. They were talking about the 12 week rule for pregnancy and how people should maybe tell earlier to increase miscarriage awareness and decrease the taboo.

Hi ladies, mind if I vent? I'm feeling low

Had a meeting with my boss today regarding cover over Christmas. It's my turn to work this year, as I didn't last year. Fair enough, but as my due date was 8th Jan I should be on my mat leave by then and getting ready for my baby. It made me feel shit

One of the men I share my job role with knows about the MC (when I went on a work night out he badgered me about why I'd been off sick so I just bloody told him). I said it all just felt a bit shit because I should be gone by Christmas and he just went 'yeah.' Then about 15 minutes later he said to a man who'd just got back from his honeymoon 'have you got your wife pregnant yet then?' Grrrrr!

I honestly just wanted to go into the loos and cry but need to get loads finished today as I go on holiday tomorrow and I had to keep it together. I eventually managed to perk myself up a little bit and then in walks pregnant lady with her perfect little bump (and I should be a month bigger than her).

Treacle Maybe the royal pregnancy will do some good then if it gets people talking about the daft 12 week rule.

Afternoon all. Feel a bit brighter today. High line in NYC sounds fab Phryn my DP is into stuff like that.

Charlie I'm looking forward to my post ERPC AF too - more because hopefully it means my body is starting to slowly get back to normal. AF in my head means new start and trying again.

Like others though I am terrified at thought of 3rd mc and also if I had another one how could I possibly try again? But I've not had children yet so stopping trying would take us down a different path.

So many what ifs....

Getting very bored of the Royal baby news at moment - have we got this for the next 7 months? It's all over everything!!!!!

Bah humbug. I'm just a bitter jealous non pregnant post miscarriage x 2 woman.

Another bitter, jealous and upset one here. Waked into staff room with everyone speculating about a colleague's pregnancy, which was then confirmed, so everyone started cooing and saying how exciting it was, because wasn't it strange that no one was pregnant right now, and wasn't it lovely that she was probably due around the same time as Kate...blah blah blah. I just broke down there and then. I should be bloody pregnant, but my baby was so ill that we chose to terminate the pregnancy. I still don't have a ducking period worth talking about, so I can't even ttc again. And yes there WAS someone pregnant last term, and it was me, and now I'm not and I'm grieving the death of our baby. Sometimes I feel that I should just walk around with a picture of our baby's casket from the cremation to shut them all up.

I really underestimated how hard being back at work would be. I totally get that grief has no place here but I'm just so sad... I've turned into such a nasty, horrible person. I can't bear feeling like this anymore. I've been robbed of all my cheerfulness, optimism and innocence and it hurts.

I too did a happy dance charlie when I started bleeding yesterday but now it has stopped. Why??? Should I still count this as CD2?! Aaargh.

I hope we get some good news from you guys soon, we need it!

Lauren, Dulcet, hope you're ok?

And Monten I saw your response to that idiotic woman last night and just really wanted to add a 'Well said, Monten!' But didn't, as the tone had already turned quite sour and I just can't bear the negativity. But well said!!

Thanks ladies.

I didn't stick to the 12 week rule either. I also ended up telling more people once I miscarried as I just needed people to understand.

Sending you massive hugs mademoiselle. You have every right to grieve.

I keep thinking that I should be going on maternity in like 6 weeks time. Instead it will be a minimum of 8 months time. Ugh.
I am a big Christmas lover so I was so excited baby was due then. Now I can't imagine how I'm going to feel on my due date - Christmas eve :(

Hugs to you too sunbathing that's a difficult situation to be in. I hope you can manage to work something out.

Sunbathing you're so kind - and not at all "me me me". I had a TFMR at 15 weeks, not a mc - but there isn't really a proper, active TFMR thread so I'm gate crashing this one and the angels/rainbows.

A lovely colleague just gave me a hug and validated my grief, which felt good, but then called the death of baby G "a huge disappointment". Mmmh.
No wonder most people don't say a thing; most don't seem to be able to get it right!

On my way to first acupuncture appointment. Hopefully I will relax a little and become a little less self-centred as a result. I am so sorry to be hardly interacting with anyone at the moment.

Thanks for the thoughts ladies. I'm out after a massive delay. Not really any better off though, scan was inconclusive. There was something there but too sure to be sure what, possibly fluid. She said they would term it a 'pregnancy of unknown location' at the moment but it didn't look like ectopic. I don't really understand at the moment and haven't googled. Had to have a blood test to check HCG and results due back by 7pm.

G, that does sound awful. I hope you are ok. Do you have some friends at work that you can talk to? Work support is important I think, just to help you get through. Same for you bear, the work place is dangerous for people like us. People say stupid things and turn up with bumps and babies and we just have to cope. I hope you both have someone to confide in at work at least.

I understand your feelings completely treacle, I love Christmas so much and was so looking forward to leaving work then for maternity. Now we will need to try and enjoy Christmas and not think about it.

sunbathing - how far away will he be working? I'm guessing you wouldn't be looking at moving? Maybe you'll need to turn up in some sexy undies at the key times!

What a nightmare Dulcet, limbo is a horrible place to be. Hope you get more answers from your bloods.

Totally know where you're coking from ladies about Christmas. I adore it normally but I would've been due 21 December, so this year is going to be so hard. I so would've loved to have a newborn here in Christmas Day but not to be.

I'm on CD23, stupidly tested today but of course BFN.

Dulcet I really hope things work out for you!

mademoiselle How thoughtless of them! Some people!

I am really worried I'm getting depressed. I can't shake off this feeling of sadness. I'm packing to go to my favourite place in the world and normally at this point I'd be dancing around excited. Nope, feeling lower than ever! Can't even be arsed to pack really, just slowly going through the motions. Don't know if it's partly to do with the fact I'm now on day 7 of AF (why does MC make AF so long)! My last one was 10 days, so if this one is the same I might not get to wear my bikini. I hope I snap out of this or I'm not going to be a barrel of laughs to be on holiday with!

Sorry for being all me, me me

Hi ladies - I was excited too when I got my first af. I think it is just relief seeing some physical evidence of something finally going on. It's all so hidden, I swear if we had a peep hole into our wombs and ovaries we would be far less loony tunes. It's the not knowing what the f is going on that is the worst bit.

madamoiselle and charlie for what it's worth after my tfmr my first period was incredibly long and heavy and after Erpc it was incredibly light and short. I think it all depends on just how much lining is left up there.

Another Christmas dreader here. The day I found out I was pregnant first time, DP and I went out in a daze and ended up in a market. We bought a Christmas decoration and talked about how we would get it out every year and explain to little one that it was their special decoration . Really hoping we have lots of lovely BFPs before then though.

Thanks for that sunbathing. Still no boob pain, no nothing really. This cycle (third) is the cycle i got pregnant after tfmr. After going away and DTD every day I was so positive I would get lucky again. Am really really not sure now. Will probably take it quite badly if I'm not.

Big hug smallbear. You are grieving. What you are feeling is completely normal. You've had a horrible, shitty, traumatic thing happen to you. There is no requirement for you to be happy just because you're going on holiday. Just be how you are, no expectations. On my hols I was quite anxious that I wasn't having enough fun, thinking the holiday needed to fix the shitty year we have had. But you are still you, just in a different place. Just try and relax, be kind to yourself and take it for what it is. X

I'm another one not looking forward to Christmas. I was due 2nd Jan and thought I would finish work for Christmas and then never go back (well for a year anyway!). Spending Christmas with my niece and nephew (3 and 1) which will be tough and no one knows what has happened as DH is so private and didn't want to tell. Have just booked to go to NYC before Xmas as a treat. We went there on honeymoon and I can't wait to go back.

Frig me, that thread was vile. monten, you done good! Xx

Argh, I'm tearing my hair out about my luteal phase. I can't decide what to do. I'm not really comfortable taking more vitamins and things without the doctors advice but I know the doctor will just dismiss me.
I'm gonna have to go and see them again aren't I :/

metal, know you said you're feeling ok about tomorrow but hugs for you anyway xxx

Hey guys, can I come and have a good old fashioned swear please? I'm having a brooding moment, I don't want any more dead babies, I'm fed up of people putting photos up of me from various things where I look super pregnant and I hate it was only two weeks ago and I can't remember what my bump felt like. This is super shit. :(.