It is a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in her thirties in possession of a ticking biological clock MUST be in want of a baybee.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

The former thread proved full of sadness and most vexatious disappointments, wherefore we know not :(. Therefore the BESH will be donning their empire dresses and enlisting the assistance of Captain Wentworth and his admirable breeches and Mr Darcy smouldering damply in his transparent white shirt both of whom with their pleasing countenances and sound judgements and enormous fortunes, in short both of whom are everything a young man ought to be in the expectation that happier times may be ahead for the BESH.

Droidorimplantationdroidorimplantationdroidorimplantation

What's your verdict Hester?!

What CD are you Mollington?

I am illegally on line whilst at work. I'm seriously putting off starting a massive project by doing every other job possible. Please help.

I can't help. I'm the world's worst when it comes to procrastination.

Jeffers I can't even see it!

Ah - I thought that may be the case, I think you might only be able to see it if you are 'friends' with me & SSG as he only shared the photo rather than tagging me in it. Faith couldn't see it either. That makes me feel a bit better. I'm paranoid about being a smug differ!!

I'm no good to you either. I am currently hiding in the disabled loos rather than get back down to work.

How much blood, mim, and what CD are you?

There is a big difference between being happy to be diffed and a smug differ though jeff!

Yes, we need more details please Mims. Colour, consistency, all the gory details!

I am a terrible procrastinator jeff. thank goodness I didn't have MN when I was studying! Currently sat on my bum summing up the effort to go for a pee. Just think, the more you do now the less for later?

Ah, no, Droid. Stand down, everyone.
Little fucker waited just long enough with the faint spotting and long pause for me to start to feel the tiniest bit of hope.
Have just rapidly moved up the chart from "hint of depressed plum" to "angry knicker jam" since last post.

Re procrastinators, I have made a career out of procrastinating. I am the Queen Procrastinator in all of Procrastinaville.

Well I managed to procrastinate for the rest of the afternoon so I didn't start it.

Fucking Droid Moll - loves a bit of headfuckery.

There's a programme on BBC Four at 9pm about how to be a laydee. Perhaps we should all tune in

I am watching the whale programme unsurprisingly. But how can one presenter turn such a fascinating subject into such a yawnfest?

You simply must watch this programme. There are lots of P&P clips

Your alliance would be a disgrace! Your name will never even be mentioned by any of us!

What shall I ask for for my birthday, hags? Everyone is asking me what I want. All I want is a baybee and a 21 year old womble and they can't give me that.

Does anyone like cycling? I'm thinking of getting back into ok, getting into cycling. I have quite a tidy bike, well it was. Needs some attention seeing as I have never given it any. Given fuel prices we have decided to cycle everywhere we can, but the butt pain is awful. So I was thinking of asking for some cycling clothing goodies and maybe a lovely squishy saddle.

Ask for diamonds

Alright.

Sorry if that was insensitive Hesty. Is there anything frivolous you fancy?

I can't think of ANYTHING :(. As soon as anyone asks me what do you want for your birthday, I get all stressed and can't think of a single thing in the world. Obviously I would like a house and a baby, but am devoid of inspiration for more achievable things. I'm not very girly.

It wasn't insensitive you loon.

Can't you get padded cycling shorts? I'm sure bugs knows about these things...

But yes, diamonds are a girls best friend :)

If you want cycling clothes, ask for padded shorts. Do NOT get a squishy saddle, it will make things worse! Padded shorts and a hard saddle are the way forward.

Any TV shows you enjoy and fancy the DVD box set for? Bands/shows you want to see?

Also, good lights and high-viz clothing are a must. HOTB and I also wear RoadID bracelets in case anything dreadful happens - rather morbid, but worth it, I feel.

Uh....ok. Squishy saddles are out then. I emailed Josie Dew once you know and asked her an inane question. She replied too, bless her.

Here's old school for you - before even the word BESH appeared: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/778153-Mid-30s-TCC-Gin-Palace

Meal / Day out somewhere nice?
Book?
Perfume?
Wine?
Voucher for White Stuff?