It is a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in her thirties in possession of a ticking biological clock MUST be in want of a baybee.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

The former thread proved full of sadness and most vexatious disappointments, wherefore we know not :(. Therefore the BESH will be donning their empire dresses and enlisting the assistance of Captain Wentworth and his admirable breeches and Mr Darcy smouldering damply in his transparent white shirt both of whom with their pleasing countenances and sound judgements and enormous fortunes, in short both of whom are everything a young man ought to be in the expectation that happier times may be ahead for the BESH.

Really Buggerlugs I scarcely think such language is decorous.

Captain Wentworth is the breeches-clad naval hero in Persuasion, spurned by Anne Elliot in her youth and lately her husband.

I pray you dears, for I am all at a loss, do tell me, is enormous fortune a euphemism?

My dearest aries, many thanks come thee way for this most esteemed fred theme. I think we need to add Mr Knightley (after all he's more our age) and no period dramas to this fred.

norf

I bet Mr Darcy would knock us up, forthwith.

My heartfelt felicitations on your most fortunate news, Bugs.

I like to think of myself as a Lizzy Bennett, but I fear I may be more of a Mary.

I have no idea what the BESH is, but if Wentworth and Darcy are here and we're talking truths, then this is clearly the thread for me.

I am practising my simpering already.

Empire line dresses make me look even shorter and dumpier than I actually am!

Just clarifying I am NOT Emma but I have a weakness for older men (on paper).

Tell us who you are truth and find a BESHtionaire (a few threads ago)

Fresh blood? Looking forward to seeing your BESHtionnaire Truth

Most glorious and excellent buggerlugs, you pierce my very soul with your words. It will not do. Get thee hence and watch some of the very excellent adaptations at once.

truth, iz you a barren? Just checking...

In other news: puff pastry disaster :(

Exactly, sense and sensibility?

Or if you prefer no Austen shock horror you can always settle for Norf and Souf with the most excellent delectable RA :)

What exactly is a puff pastry disaster? Did it not puff? That is not a disaster, it nearly never does for me.

Truth, far be it from me to be discourteous and impertinent, but this is a thread for ladies in their fourth decade who by an unfortunate and cruel twist of fate find themselves in the unhappy situation of finding the conception of offspring difficult.

If the description matches your good self, happily we will welcome you to the fold.

NO BUGS

Bugs get the fuck back here . No ducking allowed - I was just being a twat.

No the puff pastry was Packet, and I forgot to remove the plastic :(

"You pierce my soul"

I detect another Captain Wentworth fan.

Btw euro my overly vivid imagination is getting a nice loop of Mr Darcy knocking us all up. Well to be honest, just me, but a few times, for insurance purposes. I am still ovulating, clearly...

Okay, that is a disaster aries. But it made me smile.
Btw who is Frank, the slightly thick son of someone or other in an Austen, I think...