Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

[Ellypoo]

Hoping this thread brings us all luck and hope xxx

Blizy,Blue we re aiming to be there about 12 as Pheb's will want dinner & meeting up with mum, dad, & now my brother's coming!!! So if u re both there about 1 ish give me a ring 077945 48084... ( Louise) !!!
Failing that we could have a quick meet after the service ???
Worcester Blizy ?? That's where I m from & my folks travelling up from there also...I won t come mob handed though!!! We ll ve leaving our house about 10:30 so if anything changes I ll check in on here before then as no wi-Fi at the Aboretum I think ... Xxx

Meant that's where I m from originally now live in West Yorkshire!!!

Wtw have a fab time tomorrow xx

blizy angel and blue sorry can't meet up with you today, still don't feel right. I'm jealous though!

wtw have a great day! Hope K really enjouys herself.

I'm feeling sick this morning but also have that dragging feeling AF is just around the corner.

Angel/blue- we are leaving about 10am, we are off to morrissons first to buy some lunch and fuel. I will be wearing black jeans and a white butterfly t shirt, I have glasses and shoulder length brownish hair! Hopefully see you both later!

Im pretty upset this morning, I just want to be pregnant! I dont think I can handle another non sticky bean, or a negative on monday.

blizy and angel I've been studying your FB pictures to make sure I'll recognise you

fan big hugs x

Hope you all manage to find each other at the Sands service later, wish I could be there too x

fan, I'm sorry you are still feeling crappy and that you're upset this morning - its just pants. It's not over yet though, am keeping fx for you, you've been through so much already, it's just not fair is it. Big (((hugs))) hun xx

blue and elly thanks, I just feel so useless and selfish. I just dont feel strong this month, usually I can turn on the carry on to the next cycle mode but Im not sure I can this month.

Hope you all manage to meet up, where abouts is it x

National Memorial Arboretum Moomin
DE13 7AR

Its over for this month the spotting has started.

Just as I read your post fan Strawberry Swing came on in the car hugs x

Lovely to meet you today blizy and Angel
It was such a peaceful and touching memorial service and the garden was so peaceful and comforting!
and angel your Phoebe is just absolutely gorgeous and adorable! Georgie must be so proud of her little sister! x

Oh fan I'm so sorry xxx

Glad the service was nice even though the weathers pants. Think we will have a trip down to the Sands garden in a few weeks.

I got home to a letter from LGI inviting us to their memorial service, don't think I can face going back to Leeds :(

Hi everyone... Glad those of you that went to the service found it comforting... It sounds like a beautiful place?

FAN... Sorry your AF arrived.... You don't need to keep your chin up I front of us love. It's just not anything close to fair is it? Drink some wine and eat some chocolate! (and you're not being useless or selfish).

MATILDA.... Thanks for the kindness, and for thinking about Merryn.... I am a bit rubbish at crochet still, but the thought really is what counts on the blankets I think. I hope your being kind to yourself. It's not easy, and it's so up and down... One day at a time...

ELLYPOO, I don't blame you for not wanting to go back to Leeds... To soon and way too much.

We got a letter yesterday from the NICU team at GOSH saying how sorry they were about Merryn and inviting us to a meeting any time we want to go over what happened. It also included an account of what happened to her each day she was there, and on the day she died. It's kind of set me back a bit. I haven't read it all, but I don't want to throw it out. It's sitting in the kitchen like some bomb ticking. These are not the memories I want of my little girl. I don't have any of the ones I want though. I don't feel optimistic or anything positive today, I just feel gutted. Trying to keep strong for our boys, but it's such a struggle today... I just want to wake up from this now, this isn't my life.

Finally home!

Fan- I'm so sorry af came. Hope you are ok?

It was really lovely to meet blue and angel today, blue Ella is such a beautiful little girl, such a credit to you and you Dh!
Angel- pheobe is utterly gorgeous!
I'm sorry I didn't have much of a chance to speak you both properly, we left after the service. Again, it was really good to meet you both.

thanks girls, I had a lovely mexican meal prepared by DH, I love Mexican! And a Kinder egg (my guilty pleasure) DH has made me feel better like he always does, hes said that maybe we didnt hit the zone properly and we shall really give it a go this month.

green does Merryn have a memory box? We have one for Ophelia and we have put everything in it that has something to do with her, including her post mortem results, her stillbirth cerfiticate etc. I have not read everything I have put in there but I thought it should all go in there, its all about her and those documents are about her. One day maybe I shall read them.

blizy Zoe's stone is beautiful really does her proud.

angel sent you a friend request on FB hope you dont mind.

blizy and Elly I have eveything crossed for you that this is your month.

blizy it was really nice meeting you even though we didn't have a proper chance for a chat! Zoe's stone looks fabulous! Well done to your DH!
Ella is beautiful :) even though I say so myself but she can be a real madam too

Arh Fan I wondered who it was!!! I ve accepted you!!!! Sorry you feel crap I m willing with every part of my soul for your BFP xxx eat, drink & not be merry but pissed as hopefully, last time for a while!!!
Green do whatever is best for you.xx file stuff away until you re ready xxx
Elly xxx sending you love xxx
Blue lovely to meet you. Sorry we didn t get much chance to talk. Your daughter's a real cutie!!! I ll have them monster munch next time!!! We re going to order a proper stone from the Internet for next year , get organised. The garden really is lovely isn t it? Xxxx
Blizy glad you got back safely. Again, sorry we didn t have much chance to talk? Hope u were ok? It's quite chocking isn t it? I cracked when they played Eva Cassidy as that's what my mum choose for us to leave the crematorium to. My mum's not listened to it in 18 months since Georgie's service. Luckily she had Phebs with her so think that helped. Your ( DH) stone is beautiful you put us to shame. I was talking to a lady from SANDS I m contacting her on Wed to arrange to do some volunteer work I'd like to help in a small way if I can.
We got home about a hour ago stayed at the aboretum for a while my bro served in Iraq & my folks laud some flowers at their plague as 2 of his mates were killed. Then went for tea to treat my dad for fathers day...
Truely knackered now. Phebs good as gold . Thanks for your lovely comments about her.....
All in all : nice but sad day. So many sad people , it's not right.
Love to all xxxxx

Glad all you ladies had a lovely time at the Sands service. Would definitely like to go next year.

So sorry AF got you Fan I'm not surprised you're feeling low. It must be so hard. Big hugs - how are you feeling today? xx

Green I can imagine that must be a hard letter to read. When Erin's full post mortem report came through I found it hard to read xx

Well I'm 29 weeks now so 8 ish weeks to go. Feels like a lifetime still, just wish I could press fast forward.

I had a tough day today... a year ago on the 17th we found out at my 20 week scan Sterre had died... and on Father's day a year ago I was in hospital in labour with her.
DH had to work this afternoon so was alone with Ella, she's been as good as gold, but earlier she dropped a collection pot with money that she knows she is not allowed to play with and I just lost it with her... shouted really loud and sent her upstairs to go and tidy up. She'd been playing nicely all afternoon but had of course made a huge mess... Once I'd calmed down I went upstairs and found her on our bed drying her tears. We had a big cuddle and then tidied up together.

Oh blue- don't be too hard on yourself. Thinking if you and precious Sterre xx

Oh Blue what a hard day today must have been. Hope the cuddles with Ella helped a bit. As Blizy says don't be too hard on yourself. Thinking of lovely Sterre tonight xxx

Just been to see our kittens, they can come home with us in two weeks! So excited! We have changed their names and have decided on Banquo for the big tabby boy and Mrytle for the black little girl.

blue thinking of you and Sterre, a candle is lit here tonight.