Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

[Ellypoo]

Hoping this thread brings us all luck and hope xxx

fan I hope the kittens will be ok! I bet you are looking forward to getting them home! :)

Elly and green I tested early this time as I was constantly running to the toilet and feeling so tired, think I tested 3 days before AF was due with a First Response one... the days after I did tests with the cheapo internet ones and even with ov strips

angel hope you and Phebs feel better soon! I've got a horrible cold too, no wonder with the change in weather and me sitting outside most of the day in the cold and rain on Sunday for our street party... I'm brewing a camomille tea with honey now hopefully that helps a bit...

wtw so happy you had another good scan! your little girl is doing so well! we're all on the countdown

green glad you had a bearable day! I know when it was Sterre's due date I missed her terribly as well, DD1 and I went to buy a balloon for her with We miss you! on it and then we let it up in the sky.

cheese how is little Ella doing?

I'm a bit worried for my sister and her baby, she's currently 33 weeks. She had a scan 2 weeks ago which showed baby boy is very small for gestation, she had another scan yesterday and he dropped even more on the curve... She now has to go for weekly scans and check ups. I know they are keeping an eye on them, but apparently small for gestation baby's are at higher risk of stillbirth :( I'm so scared something might go wrong. Wish I could be closer to her to be there to support her.
Of course it also doesn't help that I already feel anxious as it is leading up to Sterre's first birthday and I'm now at the same gestation as when she died last year.
Wish it was July already...

ugh glad I googled benefits of chamomile tea... apparently it's no good in pregnancy as it induces abortion :( only drank 2 sips... brewing some normal tea now...

Found you all!

green we bought Scarlett some flowers and went to see her. I really felt it yesterday and was quite upset but today brought an easier time. Can't believe it's been so long.

blue hope everything goes well for your sister xx

Ella is doing well, she had bronchiolitis and needed two different anti biotics as the first didn't work but thankfully she was ok. Worried about dehydration at one point as she couldn't feed due to blocked nose but an anti biotic cream really helped.

Getting her weighed next week again as HV asked us to go back and check her again as she moved up the centiles but I think she just loves her mummy milk! She'll be 18 weeks on Saturday!

whatever how long do you have left?

My periods haven't returned yet but we've spoken about trying for another baby at some point. I must be mad!

cheese glad she is feeling better now and still breastfeeding! That's great! :)
another baby I will send you that CBFM back then

I'm far too lazy to stop bf! We co sleep too and feed lying down at night. Ah I'd forgotten all about that! :o

Oh Fan that's such sad news about the mummy cat Hope you are able to bring the little kittens home soon.

Blizy I love your pics of Alfie in the washing machine on Fb So cute.

Elly the Doppler scan wasn't what I thought at all! Basically when they were doing the ultrasound they found a section of the cord on the screen, switched to a different view then made red, blue and I think yellow colours show up in the cord which I think shows the flow through the cord and then at the bottom of the screen a sort of sound wave thing goes across which measures something. And you hear the noise of the placenta. That is a terrible description sorry I just heard the words 'that all looks as it should!' and didn't really ask anything else. Am sure someone else can explain it better. It took about 2 mins to do so I'm going to ask for it to be done each time I go now. It was a trainee sonographer and she just asked if she could do it for practice. She also measured the amniotic fluid levels properly as well. Never had that done before either! Sometimes pays to have students doing it and there was a qualified sonographer there checking as well.

Angel hope Phebs is on the mend soon this weather is dreadful for coughs and colds.

Blue your poor sister what a worry. Did they say why they thought he had iugr? I know this is a really anxious time for you as well. Am willing it to be July with you!

Glad Ella's doing better Cheese bronchiolitis is horrid when they're so little. I'm 27 weeks now so 10 weeks left if they stick to 37 weeks! Am getting more nervous with each day that passes.

I keep reading threads on here about increased rates of breathing difficulties in pre 39 week c-sections. Can't remember - did any of you ladies have c-sections? If so how many weeks were you?

I've also got a rotten cold and wheezy chest. This weather is horrid, poor K is on half term and just wants to play outside but it's not stopped raining since Monday. I bet it's hot sunshine when they're back to school.

wtw no they haven't told my sister what could be the cause for the iugr, they think it might be because both my sister and brother-in-law are quite small and he will just be a small baby, but there might be something else, hence the weekly check ups. My sister is like a size 6 normally and her bump is really not very big. Just hoping and praying everything will be ok, her little boy is going to be my godson! :)

I'm glad that yesterday passed gently for you green
fan loving the names for the kittens, fingers crossed that they're fighting fit.

I need to vent a wee worry ladies. I feel totally conflicted. I know that i should just feel lucky to be having a baby and I should focus on the fact that it all looks healthy (so far) but I can't help but hope that the heart scan on Monday shows that it's a boy instead of a girl as per the 20 week scan.
The sonographer at the 20 week scan couldn't be sure because of the position and I thought I was happy with a girl but my friend has just found out her twins are boys and it's stirred up all sorts of emotions. I feel very selfish.
I think that i have to admit to myself that a wee boy will still not be Jude and that this baby is a new life, but i just can't help wanting another wee boy in my life.
It's not an all consuming desire because I'm much more focussed on baby's health but I'm really annoyed with myself that I feel this way at all.

Orion don't be cross with yourself. You cannot legislate for your feelings and fwiw I totally understand. Part of the reason for me wanting to find out the sex was that I was scared if it was a boy I'd be disappointed. People have mixed feelings about the sex of their baby all the time without the added complication of having gone through what we have. Don't be so hard on yourself xx

Blue maternal size must have an influence. After all we're all different shapes and sizes so stands to reason that babies will be too. My friends little girl was born at healthy at full term at just over 5lbs. No reason she was just teeny and still is at 5yo. Erin was that weight at 35 weeks so they are all very different!

orion totally understandable! I keep saying I'm ok with whichever it is going to be, but secretly deep down, I'm hoping for another girl... Probably because DD1 desperately wants another little sister.

I forgot to say about Ella's tooth! It's gone :( She's found her fist and is forever sucking it and shoving it in her mouth and may have knocked it out. Looks like there is another underneath though so it could have been just that pushing it out!

whatever I had my fluid levels measured all the time due to GD and also had dopplers, very reassuring :) You're getting there! 27 weeks, wow. I remember those days, nerve wracking definitely. Ella had breathing problems but was born at 34 weeks so was to be expected really, she did stay in for 2 weeks but is all fine now!

Blue I do hope that the baby is just small and that nothing is wrong, so worrying though.

orion that's totally understandable. At first I really wanted a boy so that it would be different to Scarlett but we found out that we were having another girl and I was pleased. I'm very pleased now that she's with us and healthy but I think it would have been difficult either way. Hugs x

Just a really quick post, sorry to ignore other posts - my BF had her 20 wk scan today, and they think they are having a little girl. I so hoped they would have a boy. It's really thrown me tbh, and I don't know why - perhaps it's just too close? I have a couple of friends that I see from my ante-natal classes that had girls around the time that I had Constance, but that feels so different. Maybe it's because she wasn't pg at the same time, she must have conceived just after Constances funeral. I don't know, I just feel really gutted. Happy for them of course, but just so sad.

Also, I am seeing one of my RL angel mummy friends tonight because we are organising an awareness/fund raising event for Sands, and today is 1 year since she found out that her little boy had died (1st birthday anniversary on Sat), so I need to feel strong to offer her support in a short while.

Oh god, why has life turned out like this - this isn't how it's meant to be at all (for any of us). It's just so shit, I don't know what to do.

I wanted a little girl sooo much, I was so happy when DH told me we'd had a little girl when I came round from gen anaesthetic when she'd been born. And I know that if I ever manage to fall pg again, I desperately want it to be another girl (not to replace Constance in any way at all though).

orion its totally understandable that you feel this way. I wanted my next pregnancy to be a girl all of last year, but now I dont mind. But that is not to say that I will change my mind once I am pg. My reasons though will always have a shadow of my MIL who also suffered a stillbirth and a late miscarriage both were girls and she had 5 healthy boys. I dont want to be like her, I dont want the associations, to be told oh your just like MIL. But my over whelming force to be pregnant and have a baby.
How long do you have to wait till your scan? Can you distract yourself till then and tell yourself you will deal with the gender when it gets told to you. You never know when you know for deffinite you might be pleased?

ellypoo I feel the same as you, I wanted a little girl so much, I never thought I would coming from a family full of boys, I was so shocked when I was told Ophelia was a girl. But like I said above, now I just want a baby.

cheese thats strange about Ella's tooth. Im so glad she seams to be getting better. Did you co sleep with all your children?

wtw the scan and doppler scan sound very interesting, considering Fi died from a knot in her cord, I will be asking for one of these scans when I am next pg.

blue I really hope your sister is ok and your little neice or nephew. must be such a worry.

Just waiting to hear about the kittens, Ive been thinking about them all day, I really wnat the ones I have picked now and if she rings me later I will say I want Jenga and Cosmo. Cosmo is such a big chunky tabby with spots on his tummy and little black marks by his whiskers that look like a moustache and Jenga is a smaller black sprite who was chasing every thing, she has a little white mark under ther chin and a white lower belly.
Ive had a headache all day, bloody horrible weather to be working outside in pushing a mower! Hope its better toworrow.

think im doing pretty well thinking about the kittens and not if Im pregnant or not

fan I was oddly upset when she lost the tooth, was really strange and unexpected! Yes I did co-sleep with them all, got into a habit with them but they do sleep in their own beds now :) I hope you get the kittens that you want, they sound lovely. Headache might be a good sign, I had headaches all the time in early pregnancy :)

cheese so do I but then again I also get them before AF sometimes.
I have thought about co sleeping, but Im not sure how my sleeping patterns will change, I am a very heavy sleeper.

Ellypoo think what you re feeling is normal though you re happy for your friend doesn t mean you re not allowed to regret what you ve experienced. Think you d be a saint if you didn t!!! 1 of my ex friends I barely talk to now as she knew she was pg at Georgie's service but didn t tell me she asked 2 of my other friends to tell me as " she didn t want to hurt me" BS ..., she couldn t face me , which I understand but don t make out you re thinking of me when you re really thinking of yourself!!!
Orion your conflicting emotions again, I think , are perfectly normal... Just go with them at your own pace...1 day at a time.. X
Fan not long to your pussy cats now cx
*Blizy^ Alfie sounds fab xxx
Green you re doing well 1 step at a time cx
Whatever glad you enjoyed your scan. I had Phebs by elective section at 37,3 weeks and no probs with her breathing whatsoever.... For me the risk of allowing her to go on far outweighed any potential risks . I had 2 steriod injections 3/4 days before as the lungs are the last organ to fully develop to give them the best chance. If I ever get pg again, again I' d only go to 37.5 weeks no way was I going any longer. Xxx have those " posters" on that thread experienced what we have??? I only ask as yes, there is an increased risk of breathing difficulties in pre- term babies however in every case the pros have to outweigh the cons & for me to have her here safely was a risk I was prepared to take. It didn t concern my consultant either. Xxx
Blue xxx hi xxx
Hi everyone xxxxx
Thanks very much all for your kind wishes!!! Of course got a phone call from nursery at 3.30 this pm to collect her. She'd had 3 loose nappies & they ve said she needs to be off tomorrow. Ant collected her she's been to the drs who want a stool sample on Monday ( if she's not settled) , maintain oral fluids blah, blah, blah....got to take AL tomorrow : what a pain!!!!
So, holiday starts now!!!!

Just heard from the cat lady, shes so upset about the mummy cat that died. Apparently the mummy cats were only 11 months old, she had rescued them from a nasty bloke who had talked about killing them, she was saving her money to get them spayed and they both got serviced by the local tom, they had their kittens on the same day and they have noth been feeding all the kittens. The mum cat that died looks like she died from a heart attack or a stroke probably because she had too many kittnes too young. She died while she was sleeping. She said thats fine we can have Cosmo and Jenga, I havnt told her we are going to call them that yet. Im so excited.

Oh crap crap crapedy crap just heard that dp's birth mum (complicated family he and his brother were adopted but about 4yrs ago he got back in touch with his birth mum) has been diagnosed with cervical cancer She starts 8 weeks of chemo next week.

wtw that is so sad, I hope everything works out. Sending lots of positive vibes. My thoughts are with you.

Headache central.

Bleurgh... had some lovely strawberries for breakfast... they ended up in the toilet...
Everyone keeps asking me whether my sickness has gone yet, well clearly not :(

wtw prayers for your DP's mum... It's tough but she'll get through it! My mum had breastcancer a few years ago...

fan I hope your headache disappears soon!

I didn't sleep very well, was going to sort out all my piles of paperwork today, but after throwing up and generally not feeling very well, think I'll have a sofa morning and see what I can do this afternoon...

wtw sorry to hear about your DP's mum, hopefully the chemo will do it's job well though.

fan poor you with the headache - hope it goes soon and is a sign of pg

blue I hope that everything is ok with your DSis & her baby, this must be so worrying for you all - if they are both small though, then it does make sense that the baby would be smaller than 'normal'. I hope the sofa morning does the trick (it's perfect weather for a sofa day isn't it!!).

Thanks for the info on the doppler scan wtw - I wasn't sure if it was a separate test or anything.

Orion - totally understandable feelings (see my post above!!), and of course the most important thing is that your baby is healthy, but I think it's perfectly normal to have those feelings tbh.

Thanks for the reassurances, I feel a bit better today - it just threw me a bit really. I know that it isn't Constance, and that I did have a DD - I just hoped that she would have a boy. Can't really explain it - it isn't logical.

TFI Friday though - that's all I can say!!!

Sat here in tears as my best friend just announced her pregnancy to me :( she did it by email because she didn't want me to have to put on a brave face when I see her on Monday. I had already guessed, so I don't know why I'm still so upset about it. I feel horribly selfish but all I can think is that this is so unfair. I just want to hold my baby boy again. AF due on Sunday so maybe that's why I'm in floods of tears about it?

oh amyboo I totally understand - it is completely normal and not at all selfish to feel like this. It's so hard, especially when BF's are getting pg around us, when we just want our babies with us, and are also TTC. I don't know what to say apart from to send ((hugs)) and pour some .

Amyboo xxxxx poor u it's horrible... Xxxx
See how you want to manage tge situation after Georgie I had to distance myself from some of my pg friends. Those friends understood & the relationships weren t resolved until I was ready , in fact to I was pg with Phebs.
Take care xxx
Whatever sorry about your news xxx
Fan poor mummy cats Arh... When are you collecting your kittens? Cx
Hi all xxxxx