Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

[Ellypoo]

Hoping this thread brings us all luck and hope xxx

WTW.. Thank goodness. Now you can be at home wrapped in your family. I hope tonight isn't too hard on you. Erin will be so pleased to have her Mummy home!

BLIZY.. Crappy crap crap. I was hoping for you. Try and spoil yourself a bit...

POPPET.. I have a little knitted square that was on Merryns head. Its one of my most treasured things. I kept it in a ziplock bag for the first few weeks because I thought it might smell of her. I know what you mean.
Did you get dressed yet? Is it sunny where you are? If you can you should go outside for a little while, just a few minutes even. I wish I could make you some supper.... Is your DH there for you? If you can't go out then maybe a shower and change of pjs? I'm not nagging, I just know that it sometimes helps. Other times it's all too much even to get up. Little tiny steps. Thinking of you!

Blizy xxxxx hugs xxx

Hello all. Sorry to hear you have not been well wtw, but glad you are going home.

Welcome to Kleine, sorry you find yourself here. I lost my lovely Daisy at 20 weeks about 6 weeks ago. Waters broke unexpectedly and after a couple of days they induced me and Daisy passed away during the labour. Still waiting for results from post mortem. Had a mmc at 12 weeks in November last year also.

Hugs to everyone feeling a bit down.

I went back to work on Monday. It now seems like I was never away, which is sad in a way. Everyone has been great and I've been allowed to come and go as I please. Feels weird to be getting back to normal and carrying on life without being able to plan for maternity leave and all that that would bring.

Had a good weekend dog bothering at the agility competition. Sammy got three 1sts and a 3rd, and has won out of Grade 2. Yay!! Although that means Boomer moves up to Grade 3 too (poor thing!). Boomer is still chasing an elusive clear round, although seems to be improving very slowly. Bless him. He just gets too excited at the moment.

Have a good night everyone.

Sorry, xpost blizy - fx for next month.

Being a bit thick here but can I ask what AF stands for?

blizy its fucking crappy bollocks heart reachingly hard, I just want to scream and shout on both our behalves. Why is it taking so long, why oh why does it not happen for us.

little9 AF is period. Aunt flo.

Quick hello before bed. Sorry to those of you are feeling crappy tonight I really hope that somehow tomorrow brings a better day. Yay for going home whatevertheweather I'm so glad!

Hi Little9. So sorry about Daisy, and the mmc too of course. Our little girl also died just over 6 weeks ago... we're waiting for the post mortem results as well, have the appt with the neonatal consultant next week to discuss it. Hope the rest of your week back at work goes well. Being back so soon must be so hard.

miasmummy we've not met but I just wanted to say hello as a newbie x

green that's so lovely of you thank you! I did get dressed and go in the garden. Going out DOES help, I know, and I do try to do it most days. But then DH came home and collapsed, basically, as he heard today that a funding application for his work was unsuccessful and it just finished him off. I ended up having to email his boss to explain how much it had affected him - any little thing pushes us over the edge at the moment, and that was a big thing. He pulled it together enough for us to go for a long walk this evening, though, and is a bit calmer now.

Night all and sleep tight x

poppet I found it terribly hard to go out, I couldnt do anything with out DH, but slowly I managed it it took a while. Some of the hardest trips were walks into town. I was so ashamed to be seen, I thought people were looking at my tummy all the time. Thinking I was pg. My DH too would take long walsk with me in the evening, to get me out but also to start me getting fit again, we would go to a local pub and sit in the garden drinking lemonade (Im a tetotaller). Wow that was a year ago now, how strange and very sad all the same time.

Going to sit down and watch Highlander (cant sleep, Im usually asleep by now) love the Queen sound track!

It's not too bad being back Poppet. Just keep telling myself to keep moving forward and telling myself we'll be back ttc again soon hopefully (as long as nothing terrible turns up in tests).

Thanks fan. Couldn't work out for the life of me what they stood for. Highlander is one of mine and DH's all-time favourite films! There can be only one! Aye, Blossom! You Spanish peacock.I could go on quoting lines all night (but you'll be pleased to know I won't!) Oo, might have to watch it again myself this weekend.

Yes, long evening walks are v good, no? I also do very little outside the house without DH right now, just little walks to supermarket or the park so far by myself. Last night's walk particularly good to calm him down but also to have long ttc chat. We hope to start again in about six/eight weeks, depending on my cycle of course and any further advice we're given (so far, similar to you guys, we've been told 'go for it when you're ready'). But I need to heal up a bit more anyway - am still bleeding - had to have an ERCP for retained placenta two weeks ago, which after the initital abruption was a fairly major deal requiring the consultant to use a camera in addition to ultrasound etc. Anyway things look like they're healing now so hopefully on the right track and no more hideous afternoons in day surgery with nurses asking me how old my baby is... ugh.
Glad work is going ok Little9.
Hope everyone has the same weather as me this morning - gorgeous blue skies with a light breeze - good for the soul.

Morning ladies. Just popping on to say our gorgeous baby boy was born early yesterday morning safe and lovely. Can't believe he's actually here... so sooo happy.
Post more later.

august congratulations! Enjoy your cuddles!

Congratulations August, fantastic news to start the day!

Oh august what fabulous news So so pleased for you all. Can't wait to hear all about it xxxx

A night of very hot cuddles with my big girl last night who insisted on not only sleeping with me but wrapped around me Still feeling pretty weak but glad to be home. Going to sort out last few bits of work to handover today and chill out while K at gym camp

Love to all xx

AUGUST... Its so nice not to be able to find words that truly express the depths of my joy for you! I'm so so happy that your little boy is safely in your arms. Well done you! Can't wait to hear more.

WTW... Glad you were 'wrapped up' last night! Sounds like E was very pleased to have mummy home!

August wonderful wonderful news!

WTW glad you were able to get home to DH and you little K. Hope you are feeling better today.

There are such wonderful names on this thread. Loads of my favourite ones, and some beautiful names I had not heard before. I know what you mean Green about not getting to say it much. I love being about to say "our son Dexter" or "I am Dexter's mum, yes" but it still hurts too. I am hoping the hurt will fade and the love and pride remain.

fx to all ttc!

Bit down today, I saw the Dr yesterday to talk about another pregnancy and we still haven't heard anything from the hospital. We know lots of things that DIDN'T cause me to go into labour but no closer really to finding out what did. My Dr is lovely, but last time I saw her she was very firm that there were no physical reasons not to ttc as soon as we wanted to. Yesterday she was much more reserved and thought it would be a good idea to wait. I know I can't start ttc properly til October but I still feel really upset and low about this. I will snap out of it however!

This new reality is hard. I don't want anyone else to feel sad, but it does always reassure me to read that others feel the same as I do. Makes me realise I am not actually going mad! Yes to clinging to DH, resenting getting back to normal and feeling like I had never been pregnant.

Going out today to meet the little boy who was in the incubator over from Dex. He got home last weekend. Looking forward to seeing him, but will be very hard at the same time.

Wishing us all peaceful days. xx

Meant to say as well, totally agree about the precious mementoes of our little ones. We have a SANDS box the hospital gave us and it has become my most precious thing. When I am really down I will sit and cuddle his blanket. Have also put up some pictures of Dexter on my profile if anyone would like to see them.

Massive congratulations to August from me!!

Won't be back online for the rest of the day but Mecha I just had a VERY quick look at your photos and oh that one of you cuddling him is just gorgeous, so glad that you have photos and your SANDS box. How much did he weigh (if you don't mind me asking)? Of course he is tiny but looks so perfect. I can't see from the pictures, did he have some dark hair maybe? Sending you love today, it does sound like a very tough day for you xxx

Mecha, Dexter is adorable, tiny and perfect (I love his name btw). x

Hi ladies, I'm a returning mum but I've had to name change as someone in RL recognised my details. I guess I over shared.
I have been lurking though so I wanted to come on and say hi to you all.
wtw I'm sorry you've been ill and I'm so glad that you got out last night. Hoping for an uneventful last few weeks for you.x
august I'm so pleased for you. Congratulations!
blizy and fan I have my fingers crossed for you for next month.
Hi to all the new members, I'm sorry that you find yourself here but hopefully you'll find it as helpful as I have.
My ds died last year at the age of 5. I'm now 29 weeks pg.

Mecha... Your son Dexter is just beautiful! You should be very proud to be his Mummy. It made me sob reading your profile about BFP and then the update when Dexter died. I'm so sorry he's not with you like the baby you are visiting today, it's not right. I hope Its not too hard for you visiting the baby, and it brings you some hope of things to come. Drs can be so random, I would try not to worry that they have changed their tune slightly, they seem to do that a lot and it doesn't mean much sometimes.

I've just been to the hospital with DS to have the dressing changed on his hand (which is healing well), and as we were waiting to be buzzed into the children's dept a mum in wheelchair who looked like she had had a cs with a tiny baby on oxygen and various lines was wheeled through. I almost fainted. I've not seen any ill or prem babies since Merryn, and it was so unexpected too. I am so scared for the boys I have and any more I may have now, it's like I know bad things happen and there is nothing I can do. I almost screamed at my DS2 for walking on a wall today. I hope I can build up some defences again because this is not good for them, or me!

mogwai hey welcome back, hows the pregnancy going?

mecha Dexter, what a special little boy he was. So cute and tiny and perfect. Love the tattoos too. I have two tattoos, one of Fi's name and the other of a Sami tribal design from Finland, my DH has the same design. We were married in Finland and wanted something to show that.

green that must have been hard to see.
Glad DS's hand is healing well.

Thanks fan I wasn't sure if anyone would remember me. It's been a few weeks since I posted, I heard through a friend that her next door neighbour "found" my posts on here and I was worried that I was too identifiable. Everyone locally knows about our situation and I like this environment to be a safe place to talk without RL people knowing how I feel etc.

Pregnancy is going well, had extra scans to try to rule out some hereditary conditions that could've caused ds's disease but we can't rule it out completely.
I've surrendered to the fact that I can't control things.
mecha I've just looked at your photos and Dexter is gorgeous. So perfect and small, I wish he was still here with you.x

Welcome Mogwai congrats cx
August fab news.. Huge congrats xxx
Mech don t know who u are to look at your profile?? On Mumsnet or FB???
Green glad your son's hand is better... Cx
Hi all; hope you re all ok? So tired thank god I m off tomorrow ... Too hot for work xxxx