Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

[Ellypoo]

Hoping this thread brings us all luck and hope xxx

Now this is going to sound stupid but I'm so glad you said that because in my head she's always been Mia (Mee-ya) but then I was looking at baby names and I realised it could be My-a. I'm glad I havent been pronouncing it wrong

We just cannot settle on a name (see my fb!) Current contenders that we both like are Holly, Vivian and Nicole. We want something classic, simple and not trendy/popular. Am hoping she will look like a name iyswim. Erin was so definitely an Erin as soon as we saw her.

I like Mia too :) pronounced as Mee-ya, if you'd pronounce it as My-a surely you'd spell it Maya?
We had Erin on our list as well but last week we decided names and for a girl it's going to be Lotta, and for a boy Noah. As they are both pronounced the same in Dutch and English and can't be shortened. I don't like names that can be shortened. Although there is one of the aunties at E's playgroup who calls her E... Grrr... I always cringe when I hear her say that, but it's only for 1,5 more weeks.
Still thinking about middle names though. E would like the baby (if it is a girl ) to have the same middle name as her, which is Kirsten, it is also my middle name.

See I think Maya is a different name altogether and pronounced as it is spelt May-A Love Lotta and Noah good choices! Ella Kirsten is gorgeous. I really like Anna but K's middle name is Anne.

Hannah? or doesn't that work with your surname? :)

It's so so lovely to hear you talk about names...... This is why I love this thread and you lot! Smiles, tears and really bloody brave ladies! X

My niece is called Hannah Apparently I chose it when I was 12!

Yes, I think Mia, Maya and Mya are all different names... Ella Kirsten is very pretty, then my own is quite similar, so p'raps a little biased Liking both your choices very much, blue and whatever. Not up to thinking about names yet here...

green fingers crossed it will be you asking us for advice about names soon

Well it is a lovely name even though I say so myself... pity it's taken already

Aww green To me names is a 'safe' topic as she will need a name 'whatever happens'. Same as it's okay to pack a hospital bag and to have a first outfit as I will need them 'whatever happens'. Its the things like pram, cot, car seat etc that only a live baby will need that freak me out and make me feel like I'm tempting fate. Twisted mind

Oh and I wanted to share with you, a lady I know who lost her dd last year at 41 weeks gave birth this morning after being induced at 37 weeks to a gorgeous healthy 7lb 4ozs little girl

Wow lots of things happening in this thread tonight.

I am a non religous person, I believe in evolution, being an ecologist (who works as a gardener) I went to church as a child but I never believed. I have just never been able to get my head around a god making us, when I was very I used to ask all the time if there is a god who made him? Any way DH was religous before ophelia was born but now is not!

I love names, I love writing them down and saying them. Was looking at your fb thread wtw and thought what a great name Georgia Iris with your surname would be. Can't wait to hear what you name your rainbow. Loving your fav's as well.

I was an adult convert to Catholicism and have had such a crisis of faith over this. The only options I can see are there is no god, or if there is s/he is either cruel and heartless or powerless. I don't know how that will change or if it will or what. For Dexter we had a wonderful Humanist service which didn't mention any religion or afterlife at all. Just the love we have for him and his place in our family.

In the middle of a particularly painful gallstone attack so feeling cynical and sorry for myself!

I do love baby names. DH and I bandy them about when we hear names that haven't occured to us. It is fun!

The whatever happens thoughts scare me, but I guess all pregnant women have them and we can expect to have a slightly worse dose!

Wishing us all peaceful nights xx

Blizty love it you ve done exactly what I ve been meaning to do every time they disturb me in my home & my time to preach to me!!! That's funny!!!! Xxx
Names? So many aren t there? Such a responsibility to give your child a classic name that won't date!!!
No one up for Destiny or Crystal then???? as many of our patients tend to favour!!!! Mmm....,

Mecha.... How are you today? My friend had gallstones and it seemed like a terrible pain to have.... Is your op soon?

We are off to Wales for a week on sat. My mum is coming, and I've not seen her since I was 28 weeks pregnant. I am struggling hugely with the thought of having to go through everything again, all the hard stuff. (She hasnt even seen a photo of Merryn. We are not v. close, and it's difficult anyway) I thought it would be easier to meet away from home, but now I'm thinking it's going to be impossible anyway and I'll not be in my own space... She is coming back with us for a week more before going home. I've reconciled myself years ago that I don't have anything much that's possitive from our relationship, but just right now it would have been nice not to have to be as defended as I will have to be for two weeks. Sorry I'm not making much sense...... Anyway the upshot is I'm in a state, and prob because of that just had massive argument with DH. (first since Merryn). Feeling a bit sorry for myself. Merryn would have been three months tommorow. No one else will remember this but me.

And us xxx we all know what it's like.my friend's little girl is 2 months older than Georgie & a constant reminder of what Georgie should be doing now... Crap about your mum... My family live 150 miles away but they re absolute angels including 1 of my sisters & my brother I wouldn t have survived without my family & Ant. Don t worry about rowing with DH we had lots I remember repeatingly asking Ant why had it happened to us & Georgie? What had we done to deserve it , the same questions over & over... I thought he didn t care as he didn t show his emotions as much as I do. ( apart from the day of Georgie's service when he carried her coffin I ve never seen him cry so much) however , as a result of counselling I can/ could see he grieved differently. His way of coping is to bottle it up & not talk about Georgie. Now , he's slightly better he ll bring Georgie up every so often but not as much as me but I know he loves her & cares.even when I hated him I came back to Georgie wouldn t have wanted us to spilt up because of her & we ce been through some shit in the last 13 years but I can honestly say if , as we did , got through Georgie & a subsequent pg together nothing will spilt us up now...
Take care be kind to each other but as I see it's the ultimate stressful situation you're experiencing so surely you wouldn t ve human if you didn t row???
Take care...xxx
Skived off work for a couple of hours as the sun actually out here been shopping now chilling..,Phebs at nursery all is blissfully quiet , apart from the damn cat!!!!

green anniversarys are hard, hugs to you. And what with your added stress of having a holiday with your mum, you poor thing. Men do deal with it all differently, mine bottles it up and thinks he has to be strong for me. But sometimes that all comes crashing down. We all deal with grief differently, my mum has sometimes gone over the top with things and in stead od quietly acknowledging Ophelia, she sometimes shouts it. Which can be just as bad as never mentioning at all (both sets of gran Nans).
I hope your holiday goes well and you get along with your mum as best you can.

angel having time by yourself is sometimes bliss! I got drenched today, wasent fun, but did have a laugh with the guy I work with.

Sun you say Angel?! Fan and I are lucky we didn't get washed away today never seen rain/hail like it and certainly not in fecking July K's sports day was unsurprisingly cancelled today. Some time to yourself sounds good and well deserved!

Green that sounds hard with your mum. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn why hasn't your mum been to see you since Merryn? I must say you're a kinder person than me to go on holiday with her now. Tell me to sod off if I have spoken out of turn I know families can be strange things xx

Fan can't believe you were outside today!! Getting everything ready for the torch procession? We're hoping to watch it if it will just stay dry! Where's the best spot do you think?

Saw midwife yesterday for 32 week check and bump has suddenly gone from measuring spot on dates to measuring 35 at 32 weeks. Know the tape measure is not entirely accurate but will be interesting to see at my scan on Tuesday if she's had a sudden growth spurt

How is everyone else? August you must be nearly there?? xx

wtw I would stand at the top of the road, its going down the main road to g-town, so it will go past your house. Its going through the town centre and I think there are stalls and stuff around there. Have a look on the torch relay website they show you the route and what parts are being run and what parts are done by other transport.

Fan and whatever.... Torch procession sounds lovely, if the rain doesn't get it that is!

Angel, I think like you I know nothing will split us up if we can survive what we've been through this year... It has in a sad way made us realise how strong we are as a family. But he's still such a bloody..... MAN......sometimes!!
Glad you got some sun, and time to enjoy it, it's been nice here too!

Whatever, my mum and I have a strained relationship, I've lived far away since my first job and only see her a couple of times a year usually. She's just a bit unsupportive and blamefull.( She didn't think I should have been pregnant 'at my age') and that sort of thing. She doesn't mean badly, she is just a bit egocentric, and it will all be about her and her drama. She didn't come down while we were in London when Merryn was born because it all happened so suddenly, and she doesn't keep all that well, and since then she has found reasons not too. I am used to her, but I like to feel strong when she's here, and I'm not sure I will this time.
It sounds like your little one is growing well then! I do think the tape measure is a bit comical at times though! (They predicted both my boys as 7 pders, and they were both 9 pds 10 oz!! Big boys! Merryn would have followed suit, she was already 6.5 pds at 32 weeks... And they didn't guess that even on ultrasound!)

Hello all. Just lost everything I had typed.. ruddy laptop! Had a bad day yesterday (cried all night!) but have had a good day today (may have something to do with the sun being out today!).

Went back to agility training tonight which, once the sympathies and tears were out of the way, went well. Amazing how much my lovely doggies remembered seeing as we haven't been for a month. They are my babies, bless them!

Was thinking about going back to work next week, but DH thinks I should take another week off to make sure I can cope. Not sure what to do now.

Hope everyone has a good night's sleep. :o

little have work suggested a staggered return? I found returning to normal life extremely hard, especially work.

My phone isnt working properly so cant access the web which means no mumsnet at work, but for some reason it will let me access facebook. Very annoyed, DH is going to have a look at it later for me.

wtw did you get my pm?

wtw if you did could you facebook me.

Hi Little...... Sorry you had a tough night. I think it's just a complete roller coaster, and not that obvious which days are going to be up or down. It does even out a wee bit as the time passes.... Although I still have days that blindside me! Glad you got some sunshine and enjoyed your dogs!

My beautiful Merryn would have been 3months old today. I can't believe I've been without her so long already. I wonder what she'd of been like... Whether she'd have been as calm as her brothers were, as contented while feeding, as happy cuddled in a sling. Her hair would be curling by now and her eyes would have shown their true colour. She'd have smiled weeks ago. I miss her. Love you my girl xx

green thinking of you and Merryn today. Such a beautiful name for your little girl!

I ended up with a trip to A&E the other night, sent home after a morphine injection. That really helped with the pain and lack of sleep! Seeing the hospital again tomorrow to talk about my allergy to anesthetic, hopefully get an op date soon.

Little do you get on well with your work? It is worth talking to them if you can and seeing if you can go back slowly. Only you know what you are ready for.

Two months today since we lost our little boy. Really no time at all. We still miss you Dexter. Love you and we always will.

green I thought of you and Merryn all day to day. How are you doing luvly?

Thanks for the thoughts ladies... It's been a tough one, long time since I've felt quite this rubbish. I really miss my girl today, and I'm also def not preg this month, which doesn't help much either. I have quite vivid memories of my boys becoming more 'real' at the three month mark, somehow more individual and a little more obviously the children they would become, if you see what I mean. It's really hitting me I'll never have this with Merryn, no matter how often I speak to her or wish I won't get to see her grow up. I don't know where to put that feeling right now, it feels a bit much again, my head keeps running from it. It's also really getting to me reading about other parents losses. There is so much misery, I find myself fearing for my boys and how their life will be. It all seems a bit harsh and random, I want to wrap them up.
Sorry, bit miserable today.

MECHA. ..... Aaaaauch! That sounds bloody awful you poor thing! Allergy to anaesthetic is a bit crap, do they use a different drug then?
How are you today? I hope it's been gentle on you. I'll think of your little man as well as Merryn tonight.