Mums of angels! wishing, carrying and holding rainbows.

[fanjodisfunction]

May this thread bring us luck and lots of support through the journey of life after the death of our little ones.

Spilt congrats xxx
Hi Orion welcome. My DD was stillborn at 41 weeks on 10/10/10 :Georgie..I ce since had my second daughter ; Phoebe on 18/10/11. It's a very, very hard journey a subsequent pg after the loss of a child.best of luck xxxxx
Hi all hope everyone's well?
Well, we survived!!! First week at work & nursery. Thank god it's Friday!!!
Have a great weekend all my folks are coming up and we ( me & mum) off on a chocolate workshop tomorrow Ant bought us as Xmas presents!!! That ll ve fun on SW!!! Xxx

Thanks for the good wishes angelgeorgie It's good to know you've been where I am now.
X

Yayyyyy Split that is very exciting news

Glad the first week back has gone well Angel best thing about working is how very very much you look forward to and enjoy your weekends with Phebs

Orion - hello Jude is a lovely name! And congrats too.

I have a DD who is nearly 5, and a 2 year old surviving triplet, his 2 identical brothers were stillborn when they arrived at 31 weeks. It's a rough road, and we're now ttc number 3. Emotionally I don't know if I'm ready, but then I'm not sure I ever will be iyswim, so the fact that you're pg so soon I don't think would make it easier or harder for you - obviously family and friends are a law to themselves!

I'm planning to jump DH later (he's working atm), as the time appears to be right for us - I'll accept any baby vibes anyone has to spare

orion we have previously met on the bereaved mothers' thread, but I haven't said congratulations yet about your pregnancy. Like you, I am newly pg, and I must admit, I am feeling many of the similar emotions as you. I want this baby so very much, yet I am still in the depths of missing Mia too, who died in October very unexpectedly at 13 months.

I'm sure that Angel, whatever and the other ladies here will be able to help us both, and help us on this journey of happiness and sorrow.

I'm so sorry to hear about your boys RueDe
I agree that there will never be a good time because we'll always miss our dcs.
I think I'm a bit worried about people thinking I'm over it and they'll forget him or stop talking about him. I know I'll never forget him no matter how many years pass.
I hope you have a good night and be lucky ;-)

Hi Miasmummy congratulations on your preg. too.
I think this board will be a lifeline as I'm not keen on telling people in rl and like you I'm totally messed up about all my emotions. I'm scared to bond with this baby right now but with dd and ds I loved them immediately. Had my scan last week and it was really quite dreadful. I was so upset that I forgot to ask for a picture and the sonographer was so short with us that it was over in minutes. I'm so grateful to have the experiences of the people on this thread.

Orion I have that great fear too. Especially as Erin was just a newborn baby, that this pregnancy 'makes up' for losing her. I find myself over compensating by explaining that it's difficult dealing with new pregnancy emotions/hormones as well as grieving for Erin. I'm probably totally over sharing but I don't care it makes me feel a little better to make sure people know I certainly don't see this as a replacement and that it doesn't magically take all the pain away.

It must be a little harder for yourself and Miasmummy as Jude and Mia were older children I'm guessing you don't have things like the Sands stickers on the front of your maternity notes so that people know you've lost a child. It might be worth asking for one anyway - I do find once people clock the sticker you're treated more kindly.

whatever I do have a sticker on my notes and it says Jude's age on it. My MW was a bit apprehensive about offering it but I had asked her if it could be quite prominent in my notes and she suggested the sticker. I have still had tell the three people I've dealt with (it's the only time I've said it out loud) because they've not noticed the sticker. I might stick it on my bump :-)

wtw do those stickers appear on subsequent PG notes then? I know I had them on there last time, but that's obv when it all happened. It never occurred to me that they'd be used in future too.

Mind you, even having the sticker didn't stop them putting me in a postnatal ward with 5 other mums who had their babies with them - I had 2 stillborn and 1 in intensive care at the time. And they wondered why I did nothing but cry.

RueDe that's heartbreaking. X

Oh Rue that is disgraceful I had heard of that happening to other ladies but back in the 60's and 70's I thought things had moved on

Yes, I have a Sands teardrop sticker on the front of my notes with 25.08.2011 written on it. My midwife put it on at my booking in appointment.

Hi everybody!

Orion, lovely to meet you and congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm so so sorry to hear about your son. My first baby Thea was stillborn in March 2011 (at 41+3, no discernable reason) and my rainbow baby Maia was born on 9 March, so she's just 5 weeks old today. Hard as it was to lose a baby before she was born, I can't imagine how much harder it is to lose a 5 year old.

Wtw, I had a Sands sticker too in my 2nd pregnancy, which did help with HCPs doing scans and things. However, I found that they don't always bother to look before they open their mouths . The first scan I had, at 6+5, the sonographer just stood there silently looking at the screen moving the wand thingy around on my tummy for ages and then said well, I think your dates are wrong (I thought I was 8 weeks). I was just like who cares about the dates, is there a heartbeat? Also, so many people came in when I was on the post-natal ward with Maia and went 'is this your first?'

Rue, that is awful. I thought that's what family rooms were supposed to be for.

Angel, well done for getting through the first week back at work! How was it? Enjoy your chocolate workshop - sounds great!

Spilt, yay for the new house! Exciting stuff.

Razz, hope your house move is going smoothly and that you are taking things easily and not trying to lift heavy boxes.

Fan, did you get through Fri 13th without freaking out too badly? My sister tried to push Maia's pram under a ladder today and I grabbed her and made her stop and go around - not taking any risks, especially not on Fri 13th!

If the thought of telling your mum is giving you panic attacks, then don't do it just yet. You need to put yourself first right now and she can't be offended if you wait until after your first scan.

Blizy, Alfie is so cute! I know I said it before but it bears repeating. Have fun this weekend .

Blue, Cheese, August, Elly, Miasmum and anyone else I've missed, hope you are all doing well.

I had a proper panic and cry last night. I started to feel unwell bad tummy again and it just hit me I'm pg. Then I kept thinking I've been pg twice before and they didn't end well. How can this one! I'm so glad its the weekend.

Do I need to order those stickers myslef or do the midwives always have them?

I really need it to be six weeks so I can phone the consultant.

Fan you can order the stickers from the SANDS website. I had them this time round put a big on on the front of my mat notes with Georgie's name & DOB. HCP's still asked occasionally!! However , being on the other side I ve missed info in pt's notes & been caught out before. It's hard as don t always have time to read & sometimes miss the bloody obvious!!!
Chocolate here we come!!! Mmmm... Followed by a chinense buffet!!!
Have a fab weekend all xxx

Oh Fan huge hugs. I felt so fragile those first few weeks. It will come and go. I'm having a period of 'it goes right for so so many people so it will go right for us too this time' at the moment. Am sure it won't last but am enjoying it while it does. Just think every day you are a day closer to meeting your baby. I remember so clearly the blur after the bfp and it seems like yesterday yet here I am 20 weeks tomorrow - you will get there too. Your midwife will have stickers - if she doesn't I'll get some from mine and drop them down to you. You know where I am if you need me - I will listen and I totally understand xxx

Got a wedding next weekend - do I brave West Quay shopping centre today?!

West Quay today, would be very brave in deed. Though its not the end of the month, so not pay day but it is the end of the easter hols so could be very busy. I love shopping in west quay, we usually park in Ikea and have lunch there and then pop over to west quay and shop. We did that alot when I was pg with Ophelia, looking in mothercare, mamas and papas, and all the childrens/babies sections in all the big shops. Hopefully I will be there again soon.
Thank you so much wtw maybe when I ve got a couple of scans under my belt, we should meet up for coffee? well not a coffee but a nice orange juice or something in F-town.

Yes that would be lovely Fan All shopped out now!

K kissed my bump while we were out, totally out of the blue. I asked her why did she kiss my tummy - 'I'm kissing the baby of course mummy' Me - 'oh what baby' 'the baby growing in your tummy, silly mummy hadn't you noticed' And that was that - no mention of it since! Bless her.

How is everyone doing?

wtw you are a very silly mummy indeed clever girl :)

I managed to cook tonight and eat! Now trying to keep it inside! :)

Whatever at Katy, very clever!

Blue- hoe dinner stays inside.

Fan- now are you feeling today my friend?

I'm just heading out to a friends house warming party, I so cant be arsed with it .

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. X

fan I ordered the stickers from Sands myself when I was pregnant with Ella and just stuck them on my notes with the date on. It was useful as they did look at them and treated me even more carefully around the time of the anniversary. I found that I felt worse and more anxious the further on I got, feeling the baby move was good but not as reassuring as I thought it would be. It just brought extra worry with it. I didn't relax until she was born and even then I couldn't as she was in scbu. (hugs)

orion welcome over here but sorry you have to be here :( My daughter Scarlett was stillborn at 37 weeks in Dec 2010 and my daughter Ella is now 10 weeks old today.

Too hope you're well. I'm feeling tired most of the time as Ella still wakes every 2-3 hours, sometimes a lot less though and now and again a bit more. She was up at 3.30 last to feed and was still awake at 6am, I'd only managed to get to sleep at about 1.30am too as she was feeding most of the night before then as well! Luckily dh took her downstairs after that so I could get a couple of hours before getting on with the day.

Rue that's awful :( I left the hospital the same night I had Scarlett, she was stillborn but we found out days beforehand and I had to be induced. I did stay overnight the night before though as the inducement took that long, I was on labour wrad in my own room with dh with me. They wanted me in the night I had her but I'd had enough and said no, finished a dose of iv antibiotics and left. I was supposed to have another but really couldn't face anything else.

whatever most people avoid mentioning Scarlett at all and I'm sure think that everything's fine now that we have Ella. It just isn't true at all. Losing a child is always going to be difficult and heartbreaking, having another doesn't make up for it. It annoys me as if someone lost a mother/father/partner etc you wouldn't just expect someone to find another and then forget about the one that died.

spilt so pleased for you that you got the house! :o

Doing ok here, tired and quite up and down but a far cry from the dark place I was in last year. Been thinking about the birth and events leading up to it lately and it scares me how different things could have been. Also been going through scbu in my mind too, at the time there just wasn't any more I could think through as I wouldn't have coped but now things are catching up.

Had a good day and got out the house and into town for a walk about, it was nice. Bloody boiler stopped working and had to get someone out to fix it, 3rd time today. They thought they fixed it yesterday but the water was freezing cold this morning so they sent someone else out as an emergency and it's finally sorted! We have a policy that covers it thankfully.

How is everyone? xx

Thank you for the welcome cheese :-)
I'm sorry I have to be here too instead of the thread for people who don't know about the bad things that can happen. It's really nice to be here among you supportive ladies though, so thanks for that.

Been having a pretty bad day today and not sure what's kicked it off.
Early night I think.

Hi all, I had a bit of a freak-out today, as I don't feel pg at all, and my parents keep on asking how I feel... my mum says she feels like she has to ask me to show her interest, but she keeps asking if my boobs hurt yet or if they are growing!! When I protested, she said that I told her all about the, last time - but I pointed out that I only told them when I was past the first trimester, not in the first few weeks!! I don't think she gets that it is sometimes better to wait until information is volunteered...

miasmum hugs to you, I think sometimes concern to them comes across as added pressure to us.

orion hugs to you aswell, sometimes it just hits you doesn't it.

I've just had a lovely evening with my bff, she's finerly moved back down after living away for a few years and its so nice to have chats with her that don't involve the phone or the internet. I told her my news, she is so supportive, we've been discussing births and babies most of the night, with no pressure, its been so nice.

wtw bless little Katie, that's really made me smile. Maybe she'll tell everyone now that she had to tell you, you were pg!

blizy I'm doing fine today, might be different tomorrow. How's that adorable fluffball of yours doing?

Waves at everyone else!

Bungle made me very ill last night, I was shivering and cold and on the loo for an hour, hope this passes soon.
I feel fine this morning no real sickness feeling, but didn't get a lot of sleep as DH was out last night and didn't take his ket so had to wait up for him. Maybe that's why I didn't feel well.
The boobs have started to hurt a bit which has made me feel heaps better, so I feel a bit more pg today.

How are you blue still sick?