Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

The standard 'form' of the thread is the first one on in the morning brings the brekkie!

And this will be a very special thread, it is the one where our first 'graduate' gives us our first bambino Go on IQ give us a twirl if-you can be arsed in your full term state

so sorry mrsn. I agree, take the painkillers now, they're most effective when taken before the pain really kicks in and keep taking them as directed even if the pain isn't too bad. Hope you are at home and making yourself as comfortable as you can be.

Oh bollocks Mrs N. with you in spirit. Can you hide under the duvet with a good film, glass of wine and a painkiller?

I'm so sorry MrsN. It is so utterly, utterly unfair that you should have to go through this. I'd also take the painkillers, and any other pain relief I could get my hands on. The emotional side on its own is enough to deal with. Wish there was more i could do.

so sorry, mrsN - the others are right, it's best to get on top of pain before it really starts so if you haven't already, do down the first dose of painkillers and take the next lot at the right time interval even if it doesn't really feel like you need to.

Started as i mean to go on..took a couple of paracetamol and made a gorgeous tea for my boys, then downed some super strength tabs.
Better on a full stomach as last time i got gastritis becasue of the pain killers! Now that was a twat of a thing, coupled with mc pain...oooh nasty.

Ive done an online shop, meal planned for the next 2 weeks and ironed all of ds's school uniforms ready for school on Monday.

Im ready....bring it on mc bitch

Hope you all have a lovely weekend & thanks again for your kind words x

I've posted this same post on another thread too; sorry if you are reading twice!!!

Hi Girls, sorry I've been out of the looP for a bit. We've been away for a week. Last minute escape to avoid visiting family etc / seeing anyone during the hideousness that is a mc. Best thing we could have done. Had a great time, got away. Lots of wine & shagging (had my mc 2.5 weeks ago and bfn at wknd), have decided to let mother nature take its course & we are not using protection. I have returned feeling refreshed, optimistic & positive.

There is one thing playing on my mind, see what you think: About a week after I found out I was pg an older colleague (66) was telling me how she has vivid dreams that come true (predicted London bombing accurately amongst other things) she asked if we were going to expand the family & then said she'd had a dream about me and another colleague & how we were surrounded by beautiful angel babies (exact words, she has no idea what those words mean, she impled it meant beautiful) at the time I brushed it off & thought she was exaggerating her 'skill' but i started spotting a week or so later. now it's all I can think about, I'm dreading another pg, thinking this is going to happen again & again like her dream.....

Am I being crazy?!?!? I honestly wouldn't believe this under normal circumstances.

I haven't read all the posts I've missed so will pour a glass & catch up but I gather there has been heartbeats and heartbreak

Much love & hugs to you all, these are hard times but you girls are really helping me. Thank you x

Thinking of you MrsN

cakeplease, may i pm you about your post please?

Sure, thanks x

cake I believe in that kind of thing too but I wouldn't put too much time worrying about what she said. She may have meant beautiful. I was told that I would have 4 children by a spiritualist type years ago and my first would be a curly haired girl. DD has wild unruly curly hair I'm waiting on the other 3 to show up hope you are ok.

hmm odd.
Pain stopped last night and has not come back....dont worry i know its lurking!
Not a great deal of bleeding either.

Ive kept busy. Been posting "normal" stuff on mn, random stuff in no way connected with mc. It has made me feel better
Cleaning like a demon, house is sparkling

MrsN i kept my MC right off FB and to be honest it made me feel normal too, i hadnt told a lot of people i was preggy so those who knew 'knew' IYSWIM. It made me feel that there was another world out there unconnected with my heartbreak. I have been thinking of you and hope you get lots of rest and support (i did smile at your organisation - you are so like me in that respect)

cakeplease my feeling is to ignore the colleague, this kind of thing wont help any recovery and will completely freak you out when you get PG again

manda you are so right, i am broody but also am trying to be ambivalent, then sometimes i get so ambivilent that i am just a complete ice queen

Saw a good friend yesterday who told me that a mutual friend was preggy, another bitch one who winked at her boyf and got upduffed this time i didnt go 'ooh lovely and leave it at that, i did say that i was pleased for her but then said that i was of those who fall immediately and dont realise how hard it is for others - cue tumbleweed as my good friend conceived her two within the first month and had no probs. aarrrggghhhh

anyway - CD25 today so it is nail biting time

mrsn hoping this time maybe the pain will be easier on you xx

cake I looked after a women in a nursing home who her daughter said was quite psychic she told me I'd have another boy a horrible mc which would take a long time to get over (I did mc but got pg straight after) have another boy (ds3) and then have a girl with lots of curly dark hair who we would wait along time for.

I think she got it mixed up and the mc that would take along time to get over was Jacob, after ds3.

Maybe the women you know could see all our angel baby's playing togeather, like we've found each other for support? Or maybe the angle baby's are all the beautiful children you will go on to have x

Thank you moomin, I love the way you looked at the situation. That makes me feel so much better. I'd love to think all our angels are beautiful & playing together or that I will go onto have more children. I do hope so & thank you for your thoughts & optimism. It means a lot x

mrsN I am thinking of you. I hope you are managing to get through.

Martha, I have longed to have that conversation with a number of people but usually haven't been able to pluck up the courage. It is so difficult because there is almost a taboo about talking about mc, but I wish people were more aware of the many issues that surround it, the impact on people's lives. And how fucking lucky some people are. And part of their luck is not knowing it. The only person I ever managed to talk to properly in real life was a friend whose baby was born at 28 weeks and was poorly for months. She had her second child really close after, and she said she knew if she left it longer, the fear would make it impossible. It was just that she knew, for some, families don't come easily.

cake I am sorry you are worrying. I am not sure whether I believe in dreams, but I do know I have wondered about 1000 things that may have been connected to my mc, and my mind scans around trying to find something to pin the blame on. So far I battle with trying to dismiss the following: not being sufficiently pleased I was pregnant; 1 coffee a day; sex and orgasm; being angry; being tired; not getting my DD baptised; being thirsty; sleeping on my tummy; breastfeeding DD when pregnant; being premature myself..... I could think of more. And if someone had said to me what your colleague said to you, it would drive me bonkers. I have so much sympathy for you but please try not to let your mind go there if you can.

Well, as the hour shows, I am on a metal. [Strums a black chord.] I feel pregnant (still have little voice of doubt that my body might be tricking by behaving pregnant with a mmc again) but here it is. I have a bump. I can't get comfy in bed. It seems so real, and I suddenly realised today that I have emotionally reached the point where another mc would break me. Ihave also been worrying about the impact of my mental state on DD. Just feel like a useless preoccupied mum sometimes.

I beleve in it, I just think sometimes people don't understand how to interpret the dreams they have

Jaffa I've spent a lot of the last 6 months feeling like a useless preoccupied mother, tommy was only 6 months old when we lost Jacob and setimes I feel like I missed some of his first year because I was and still am caught up in my loss. Every body here is ttc precious babys, yet I have one who is only 13 months old now and the year has flown by and for half of that time I've been caught up in my grief.

I don't know what I'm trying to say, maybe just that it's hard, I'm sure your dd doesn't even realise you feel this way. I can't sleep because at night, when everyone else is in bed I'm thinking of Jacob, tommy doesn't sleep very well and I worry that I'm not ad engaged and patient with him as I should be because I'm not sleeping x

Cake I agree with Moomin. Dreams are hard to interpret and it is impossible to try and interpret someones dream from such little detail. If you really can't stop thinking about it I would speak to the lady at work to see what she actually meant. if she meant angel babies like you are interpretting it I am sure she would not have told you quite so casually. Easier said than done I know but the best thing to do is to forget about it but if you can't - then speak to her.

Jeez Jaffa - "It seems so real, and I suddenly realised today that I have emotionally reached the point where another mc would break me." I am with you there - did you come steal these words from my head? This feeling is what stops me relaxing. Stops me enjoying this pregnancy and connecting to the bean inside me. Which is now actually a baby. I know it is but even typing those words freaks the living shit out of me. My in laws here yestrday. They kept talking about it, stroking my belly and I just wanted to scream at them all to shut the fuck up. Tempting fate, counting chickens and all sorts of other mumbo jumbo that freaks me out. But loss now would break me. And when you dwell on that the metalling starts. I don't know the asnwer except taking each day at a time and the mantra - I am pregnant today. And knowing that we aren't alone as pretty much everyone on here knows what we mean.

martha sometimes you can't just smile and be all happy. Becasue some peoples pregnancies seem to hurt more than others. I never have understood why. Sometimes I am so chuffed when I hear and other times I can't bear to even see that person again. No rhyme nor reason but actually saying how you really feel sometimes is bloody good for you. Even if you do then choke on some tumbleweed. I have some RL friends who have had real problems conceiving. I am making sure that I am as sensitive as I can be about this pregnancy (without being patronising and treating them like fools). It is just common decency to put yourselves in someone elses shoes. If your friends know your history they should expect you to speak frankly!

MrsN thinking of you. rememeber the Verve lied - the drugs do work.

Heres to a metal free day. I have a mammoth day - out with DD then off to Wembley for the football. Rather stay in with a box of mini magums and catch up on the contents of the TIVO box.

I ordered a doppler today. Calming or a sure fire path to metaldom?

Another false start last night, small grumblings and not allot of bleeding today.

The drugs do work, blissfull spaced out texting my friend last night telling her i bloody love her because she supplied me with the solpadol! Nutter.

Got a huge ham in the slow cooker to look forward to for tea...yumyumyumyum ...well its the small things that brighten my day these days!

Lets see what today brings..........

Your Ham sounded lovely mrsn

I am dreading college today, the ms has got worse and I feel so frumpy, no one knows so of course everyone's going to be thinking how chubby I've got recently :(

Silly how much you want something and still do but that it can make you so down and depressed at the same time.

MrsN if I took solphodol I probably would have ended slow cooking myself. Got a big stash of them here for my back. Took 2 the first time and had to actually crawl into bed before I spun out and slept for 5 hours. They be hardcore!

Tits no matter how much you want to be pregnant the bloaty stage sucks. But the bump stage is lovely. x

mrsN hope you are doing ok, thinking of you.

Jaffa that is exactly how I feel. Having managed to pretend I'm not pregnant for the past few weeks, inspite of the morning sickness, I am now finding myself thinking ahead and actually imagining a baby at the end of this - of course, I stop those thoughts immediately, but the thought of loosing it now is terrifying. My 12 scan is in 2 weeks and I'm am absolutely dreading it, but counting down the days at the same time.

Good Morning ladies

Places fresh fruit platter , orange juice and pancakes and maple syrup on the table for brekkie.....

where do i start ???
well firstly congrats on the good news and scans etc for tiago tits and midget all going smoothly and i hope it still is for you ladies

mrsn Hope you are ok this morning and the drugs are still working im so sorry for you and hope later you knwe are all here for hugs support and when you feel ready

cake the dream thing is tricky, Im a belivier in fate and feel that although not always clear why, things do happen for a reason, as for dreams , these are so open to interpretation i much prefer to think of moomins suggestions that its all our lost angels playing together

martha my cycle buddy... Any news yet have kept away from the sticks or have you caved ????

jaffa My last mc i felt the same worries and fears looking to find a place to lay the blame like sleeping on belly; drinking coffee;being tired;wearing too tight jeans on the waist; coughing to harshly etc etc but realistically i know these wouldnt have had this effect, its just the awful way our minds try to look for reasons

welcome to any newbies, sorry you have found yourselves here but you are in great company for support

I know i have missed so many others but scrolling on my phone is a nightmare so please forgive me... I hope everyones day is off to a good start ....

As for me , Well thank you for all your congrats and good wishes, The wedding and honeymoon was utterly fabulous so i guess im now officially mrsmumtumwanted ( feels odd though people calling me Mrs keep thinking they are talking about the DHs mother !!!)I would totally recommmend Barbados as a wedding / honeymoon / holiday destination largely still unspoilt and in most places not over commercialised it really is beautiful and contrary to our understanding we felt very safe walking around out of resort both day and night....

and my cycle.... well as you may recall , i do have a rather serious addition to POAS be they OV or PG sticks, so i decided not to take any with me at all which considering i was away 3 weeks is a massive issue for me ( realistically i would have been mortified had my bag been rummaged by customs so i didnt really have much choice !) my last af was 19th March and im a 25 dayer which meant i was due 13th april... so i tested and ...... and got a SFP ( small feint positive) I am utterly astounded as we landed about 6am, got collected from the airport came home and fell asleep exhausted after travelling for 10 hours and the 5 hour time difference I had no idea if this was FMU so hope realsitically it wasnt and this was why it was only feint..... i do realise that due to my short cycle i do get + tests very early so im off out to buy a cb digi today to double check...Specialy after the 2 chempical pregs ive had over the last 12 months too cant say i can really belive it yet..... Im still alittle amazed really as i really didnt think i was as id had period type pains for a couple of days and sore norks just like last month ! Needless to say im also now mentalling like a good un as i didnt exactly take care on honeymoon... ( cocktails , champagne, shellfish, Nurofen for the hangover ! insect repellent to keep away the mozzies [hmmm] the list could go on...) but im trying to look at it that if i still managed to fall whilst being so reckless hopefully this one is a strong sticky one ????

really must get on now sorry for the take over post ! Have a good day all.....

I need to go back in the thread and figure out when I wrote the same things about trying to be detached but actually being hopelessly attached and not being able to bear losing it now - all the things everyone is writing now. Was it about 15 weeks or was it earlier. Anyway suffice to say I get it, I've been there, I know what you mean. It's very very hard not to feel safe.

I'm still at the everyone thinks I'm getting chubby stage and not at the bump stage. I seemed to get something a few weeks ago but it went away. I just look thick round the middle, gone from hourglass to treetrunk I still fit in all my normal clothes but the baby doesn't like waistbands, they are comfy enough for me until it starts kicking them and then it's a bit like getting pinched round the middle. So I am mostly wearing stretchier pants if I can. So I haven't had to worry about the bump announcing it to the world thing yet, instead I get to metal about not having one. I also metal about the baby kicks. Can I feel it kicking so hard because it hasn't got enough water to cushion it. Do I not have a bump because I'm not full of water like everyone else. My friend is three weeks further on, has a BIG bump and is not feeling regular kicks, I can see mine squirming round under my skin and sticking out a hand or foot.

I'd also like to seek some TMI advice about what I can only discribe as an uncomfortable fanjo. I feel swollen on the outside and right the way inside Not painful just not comfy and makes it feel like there's (eurgh) something in there (although there isn't, I think it just feels that way as it's swollen) Can anyone ease my metalling about that? 2 weeks until next dildocam experience.

i think i jumped the gun a bit by thinking the bleeding had stopped. i am now getting the brown spotting i had before/during the last pg. i am also still testing + and it's been more than three weeks since erpc.

i rang epu and i am going on thursday for an appointment to see if everything is ok.

have to go am at work!

Blimey Mumtum welcome back and go get that digi.....

MissC sorry can't help with the fanjo metalling. Strokes for the other metalling which I know only too well myself x

Peps good to get checked out just to check no infection although my experience they bleed quite a lot but better be safe than sorry. Good luck.