Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

[MarthasHarbour]

Continuation of the last thread.

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your metalling moments. All welcome so come on in and get settled into the plush sofas!

Dictionary:

So settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

The standard 'form' of the thread is the first one on in the morning brings the brekkie!

And this will be a very special thread, it is the one where our first 'graduate' gives us our first bambino Go on IQ give us a twirl if-you can be arsed in your full term state

mrsn how are you? please dont shut up, you are not trampling on anyone, we are all here for the good and the downright shite.

MrsN I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you tonight. X

MrsN my heart goes out to you, there's nothing anyone can say really, so hope a cyber {{{hug}}}} helps xxxx

Mrs N thinking of you this morning. Wish there was more i could do.

Can any of the st mary's crew help- my consultant told me i'm supposed to start taking aspirin, and cheaper to get it over the counter, I went to get some yesterday but they have normal stuff and enteric stuff (coated in something so better for the stomach). Consutant didn't specify. Wondered which they advice at St M's as they seem to know what they are doing in this area. Does anyone know?

advise, sorry, not advice

Morning,

Mrs N - taking your lack of posting as an ominous sign, at the very least I hope you are getting enough TLC from your DP right now as I know you haven't told anyone else's apart from us. We are all here for you, through thick and thin.

boris st Mary's just tell you to get the 75mg dispersible aspirin and take 150mg if test positive for TEG. I took 75mg before going to st Mary's with DD1 (self medicated on advice from a friend). Hope that helps.

Waves to everyone and blows kisses to baby IQ.

Also meant to say just in case anyone is considering the asprin route that St Marys also say it is very important not to take it before a BFP as studies suggest it can affect outcomes negatively. Can't remember if they said it would increase m/c rate or stop implantation but they def said it was very important not to take it before hand.

Metalling woman is back in my head. Got a load of maternity clothes - this seems presumptious for someone like me to be thinking ahead. Can't help think that I may be tempting my usual fate. Someone bring back the scary positive woman please. Only 6 more sleeps to my next scan, then I will be passed to normal ANC. Huge milestone for me - being treated as a normal person. I suppose only natural that my courage would falter at the last hurdle. The fear of it failing now is so overwhelming as I have passed my usual point of loss (although I have had a couple of losses beyond 10wks but most stop developing before 8), and even the scary positive woman could deal with the bastard unfairness of it all. Time to dig deep though currently I feel like going back to bed and not waking up until my next scan. I know why I am scared, I don't normally let myself have too much hope but this is starting to feel like an actual baby now and the loss of a baby is so much worse than the loss of a bean. I will mainly be in the mosh pit today.

Hello all

I was wondering if I could join you all.
Quick history : I have two boys aged 5 and 7, had no problems with either pregnancy. They were both overdue and healthy 9lbers.
I then went onto have a heartbreaking late loss in Oct 2010 - at 20 wks, although baby passed away at 17 wks. All testing came back normal, including post mortem on our little boy. We were told it was a one-off.
I then went on to have an natural mc at 8 wks in Feb 2011 and another at 9 wks in July 2011. We decided to take a break for a while - had tests done again through my local recurrent mc clinic which again came back normal. Saw a specialist in Coventry (Prof Quenby) who sent me for more tests which again came back normal. Was considering having the NK cells test but she advised me against it - told me to try again.
Got BFP In Feb and am now 11 weeks pregnant. Had a scan at 8 wks which was all good. The only thing I've done differently is take 75mg of aspirin - as suggested by my consultant. I've been taking the coated ones that you swallow, not the dispersible ones.

So, thats me. I've had a quick read through this thread and so many of the posts I could have written myself. It has been so hard so far - constantly expecting the worst and finding it hard to talk about the future. DH and family keep telling me to be positive and it is getting a bit easier, but it is still very hard to imagine a baby at the end of all this. 12 week scan is on 9th April - but seems a lifetime away.

midgetm I've lurked a bit on the due in Oct thread and have read some of your posts on there, but havn't felt confident enough to post myself yet. Am so glad this pregnancy is going well for you, sounds like you've had a horrendous time of it.

mrsn so sorry for all you're going through right now. Its completly crap and totally unfair.

Feeling for you too pepsbop - am i right in thinking you've had a late loss too? Hope things start looking up for you soon.

I just wanted to share something with you all. I have a group of friends on another thread - we've been chatting to each other for over a year now. We originally got together after we'd all experienced at least one mc.

There are 12 of us and at the moment we have:
2 recent graduates with babies (later this afternoon to be 3)
3 ladies in their 3rd trimester (one who is due next week)
3 ladies in their 2nd trimester
3 ladies in their 1st trimester

all with seemingly healthy pregnancies so far.

It amazes me when I think about it - and the low points we've had over the last year.

I would love to think this might help someone and give them some hope

Sorry for the mammoth post x

Midgetm, I'm at a loss for words but really feeling what you wrote, I've paved the way to the mosh pit for you.

Welcome Iloveblue as I am having a metalling day I can't move away from Mumsnet so here to greet you and welcome you to the mosh pit. I am sure I speak for everyone when I say you are more than welcome to join us. I hope you find this place as much as a comfort as I do. It's kind of an outlet for our more mental moments and I for one would have gone insane over the last couple of weeks without it. Mainly I take strength from the amazing women on here who pick themselves up, dust themselves down and start all over again.

Your post is lovely, of course not the loss part - that is unbearable and bastard unfair but your stories of hope. Hope is what stops me going insane and then send me insane simultaneously. If I could reach out and hug you I would - the later the loss the more I dread it and I can so easily comprehend the heartache that is terrifies me. I salute those who try again after such gut wrenching loss.

Lovely to hear of others successes. I know what you mean about confidence to post on the October thread - it was a leap of faith for me - my positive one posts over there - my metaller comes back here - to my spiritual home. Sometimes I think even posting there tempts fate. Although I know that is bollocks - it is my age, my clotting and my autoimmune issues that are my enemy!

Good luck with your scan and your pregnancy. The mantra on here I have been told is I am pregnant for today. Well done us on being pregnant today. I assume you are being given reassurance scans too though? Surely not waiting you wait till 12 weeks? Welcome again. x

Wriggle thanks for that - I feel better just for getting it out. That and for having a little cry.

blue thanks for posting your other threads stats. it is quite amazing to see how many people in our situtation do get to have a baby in the end. it gives me hope that one day this will all be behind me.

I have had a late mc and found your other thread when i was at a very bad time in my life. It helped to realise i wasn't the only person in the world going through it. I am glad you are pg as i have followed your story a bit - in a non stalker way!!

Midget keep saying the mantra, i have a good feeling things will be fine for you this time.

I am back at work today. it's not too bad really, just sitting at my desk faffing around not doing much. I am meeting a friend for lunch so that will be a nice break in the day.

I emailed Raj Rai's private secretary and haven't had a reply yet. Not sure if the email got through though as i got a message from hotmail saying it was delayed?? Will try ringing the clinic again later.

I spoke to DH about going private. He thinks we should wait until we see our consultant again and then decide what to do so I will just relax for a couple of weeks. Hope i get my appoinment to see my consultant soon.

morning all and welcome iloveblue your story is so but also full of hope too. please stay with us as we are all supportive and will be here to give you cake and a hug when needed!

hugs to midget and pebs

about mrsN

Thanks for the welcome ladies

midget sorry you are having a bad day today.
I'm having a good old metal too - I have felt so much better the last few days, and there is a good chance that it is just because I'm reaching the end of the 1st trimester, but it doesn't help the anxiety levels.
I had a scan at 8 weeks - but then nothing till 12 weeks. They have said they will scan me more in 2nd trimester - especially around the time I had my late loss. I think it is the fact that they have found nothing wrong and therefore have not been able to treat me for anything (apart from aspirin) that makes it so hard this time round. I was convinced that there was something wrong - but just kept being given the bad luck theory.

pebspop I thought I recognised your name. Did they ever find a reason why you lost your baby?
If you're thinking about going private have you considered Mr Shehata - whereabouts are you? Two of the ladies on my other thread are being treated by him, and are both successfully pregnant - one with very high NK cells (after 4mc) and one who had poor quality eggs.

marthasharbour cakes and hugs sound perfect

Iloveblue never underestimate the power of asprin! Seriously I took it with DD - the only pregnancy out of 9 to make it to term. I am convinced it was the asprin - at that stage I had not been diagnosed with anything wrong but had experienced many losses. Subsequently after being referred to St Marys the TEG test showed i had clotting issues and again it is asprin. I have a freaky amount of faith in the little white pill. Heres hoping it doesn't let us down. The bad luck story wears a bit thin after a while doesn't it? It's like, 'really, you think?' (laced with sarcasm and cynacism.)

Pebs your good feeling restores some of my good feeling- thanks for that. To be honest - if you can afford it I would push to go private. Time is not always on our side and I know if this one goes tits up I will go straight to Mr Shehata or someone like him to check out my last remaining options. Good luck with convincing DH.

Thanks for the hugs and letting me have a good old metal. I feel much better now. I am pregnant for today, that is enough for today.

Also fretting about Mrs N -virtual good vibes are being sent her way - hope they are reaching her.

Hello all,

Just popping on as an old lag, I've been lurking for news of IQ's little lady and wanted to say a massive congratulations!!! I hope she's well now and you're enjoying her at home?

My own little lady was born on Saturday morning. All's well but I'm a little bit sore and weepy (to be expected I suppose).

For those who don't know me, I had a mmc at 14 weeks in May last year. This thread was my saviour and really pulled me through. I am also responsible for the infamous "metalling" typo! Leather jackets at the ready...

Anyway, better get back to her, I hope all the other old lags Manda, Martha, Peps and of course IQ are well and it's nice to meet everyone else . Good luck to you all, pregnant, TTC or anything else...x

narathonmama congratulations on your little girl. And on the metal. Both achievements you should be rightly proud of. X

blue I had a PM after my late mc and they found blood clots in the placenta but all my blood tests came back normal.

I think Raj Rai will be a good consultant for me as he does TEG test which pick up on blood clotting issues. Mr Shehata seems to concentrate on NK cells which will be my last option I think.

I don't really need to convice DH to go private. If its a choice between a pirvate clinic and the NHS cattle market he will be happy with private - he hates waiting at appoinments scans etc.

My DH doesn't seem to have my sense of urgency though. He is thinking I don't need to get a private appointment in the next couple of weeks and I should wait a while. I would like to get an appointment with Raj Rai before the end of the month if I can.

End of april i mean!

congrats marathon! it;s always good to hear a sucess story!

Hi,
Thanks for all lovely messages and kind thoughts.

Old brown discharge when i go to the loo, sometimes there sometimes not.
But, boobs no longer sore, felt very sick this morning, but that soon passed.
No pain or discomfort, but no doubt its on its way.
This is the usual pattern for me.

Carrying on as normal as possible as i have commitments and as i havent told any one..its buisiness as usual to every one around me.

I am adamant that i am not going to tell anyone, i feel so embarrassed.

Poor DH he was over the moon when i got the unexpected + on the test. But then, he knows the routine as well as i do. We just hoped that this might be a nice unexpected miracle.

mrsnesbit, i feel embarassed about my mc's. people think i am silly for thinking it so glad you have said the same thing.

i feel embarrased that i got myself in this situation again.

we probably shouldn't be embarrassed as it's not out fault but it's definatley an emotion i feel.

congrats on your DD, how lovely we have been wondering about you. i am still not preggers but chuck some baby dust my way will you?

MrsN it may not all be over, i know this is a pattern for you but bear with it, maybe do another test in a week. when was your scan booked for? maybe go to your GP

pebs your DH sounds like mine, wants action but no urgency. i would get to it and make the arrangements, he will go with it if you are booked in

oh mrs n so hoping for another outcome for you. My boobs feeling different is always a tell tell sign for me too though. Big hugs.