BESH Cassidy and the Nekkid-dance Kid - walk like John Wayne into our Wild West saloon.

[Northey]

TTC on the frontier of polite society . Shoot outs compulsory.

New joiners will be welcomed after completing the Beshtionnaire and showing us their blazing saddle.

Have you found the beshtionnaire, brownjoy?

I'm staring him straight in the eye as we type speak.

Me and him are havin a showdown.....

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   Yes with tonic, and if the tonic is flat I get RATHER CROSS irritated

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Ummm the opposite of both; DP is 10 years older than me and has nairy a bean to his name

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

That's a "c", right there...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

yup, "a"

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

a. Unless its a trick question, then b.

6. what colour are your walls?

white. And artexed

7. Number of pets?

one dog. He's my baybee

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...

9. Lesbian crush?

Natalie Portman

10. What are your views on camping?

Love. Has to be in unlikely, inhospitable environments (Wales then...)

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Not much. I have some cheapie opk's and actually AF would have to be about a week late for me to POAS so I haven't needed any of those so far....

[hand hovers over holster]

[trips over own spurs due to ]

[snores loudly in a heap by the bar]

Been drinking winter pimms rum in a cosy pub saloon bar chewing the fat with an old friend.
Howdy cup you were right it was a trick question smarter than me as a newbie . I liked the beshtionnaire answers. Like my amigo northus I'd like a background tale if you will....

@ the cowboy talk.

Yeah, ma tale, weeeell

(ok sod this cowboy talk, its too hard )

Ttc #1 since October. I'm 34, DP is 44. DP very laid back. Me convinced we've left it too late and are staring infertility in the face (slightly premature I know). DP thinks I've gone nuts and am obsessed.

We're getting married in July, so the trying is tempered a bit by my wish to fit in my wedding dress.... but I'm very impatient

So what else d'yall wanna know?

Howdy Brown, welcome to the BESH. I'm also a fairly new newbie. You could have a shotgun wedding, fits in with the theme here

(my cowboy talk is soley based on back to the future III as I hate westerns)

Well for a start I want to know why there are no sodding trains running :(

I am cold and damp and the station sweet shop is closed. It couldn't be more miserable if it tried.

Thanks for the welcomes...

Thanks for the welcome

DP's mum is convinced it's a shotgun wedding already (we've not been together THAT long, although long enough!) so we may as well confirm her worst suspicions

Northey that sounds totally crap - trains, snow and Sundays definitely don't mix! They never had to suffer through these problems in the Wild West....

Oops sorry for the double thanks! Bloody phone, I can't see what I've typed and I'm senile

Did you never read Little House On The Wherever It Was where they all nearly froze and starved to death because the supply train couldn't get through for six months? Though I am not sure if that was exactly the Wild West.

Nearly home now though.

I did Northey, and I still think it's sounds beyond cool. Injuns, bears, creeks. Happy as a sandboy on the Frontier

I'm happy to say I'm home after a rather long and foggy journey. I was glad to be driving my polo riding my trusty steed.
Am menkullling a tad, just ate some hommous and then sour cream dip and insisted they tasted off. MSB insists they are fine [cofnused] . He seems to be getting way too excited! I'm only about 5dpo!
cup surely you're not too bitter if you've only been trying a few months?!
I always wanted to be Laura in Little House on the Prairie.

Not bitter at all Phoenix, just a little impatient and there's a little voice in the back of my head convincing me I'm too old/unworthy/not maternal enough for it to happen to me. I know its daft.

Laura was great in LHOTP. Mary was an annoying prig though, wasn't she?

I got a + on my opk this morning, although swi is not on the cards today, I'll be clearing the diary tomorrow!

It's very early days in ttc terms, try not to worry too much just yet...

It's very quiet...are you all playing in the snow?!

Hi phee. Just built a fire and now am watching a film. How's your weekend been?

Anything else tasting strange?

No snow here Phoenix, tis most disappointing.