The BESH Factor. We're not on a journey or finding ourselves. We just want to win!

[InTheSunshine]

Join us. Not just Saturday nights but every night for fun filled 30 something TTC. Drumroll pliz. Bring out some sexy dancers. We're ready to sing for a win.

Thinking of you LP

Laura, sweetheart, I'm so so sorry and really wish I could do something more than send massive internet hugs.

Oh Laura Laura Laura :( I am so very very sorry.

We're here with hugs and gin xxxxxxxxxx

Oh dearest Laura, what dreadful news :(:(:( I'm so sorry, chick. Life is big fat bundle of shit. We're all here for you. Wish I could do something more than be on the end of a computer. Much luffs xxx

Oh, Laura, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Have an unmumsnetty hug.

Oh fucksticks LP I was wondering how you were on the PESH thread. I'm so very sorry.

So sorry Laura sending as much gin, cake and snogs as you can possibly wish for to help even a little bit (((luffs)))

Thanks everyone. Gin and virtual hugs much appreciated. I'm trying not to be too angry at the universe but this fucking hurts.

Upshot is that my GP (very sympathetic older laydee) called me personally to check in on me and said that once I'm feeling a bit better then I should come in so they can start doing tests for recurrent miscarriage. Quite surprising as NHS usually only goes down this route after 3 consecutive mc's - not just 2. I suppose I should feel lucky.

Hard to feel very lucky at this moment. I just want it all to be over so I can begin to heal. Again.

It's definitely not luck lovely, but I suppose it's fortunate that they have referred you
I have been with MSB for his appointment, is it ok to explain about it?

Oh Faithy (and everyone) - please do come back out and continue our fred. I could use the normality. Would love to hear how it went with MSB - please share!

Your GP sounds lovely, laur. I'm sorry the occasion has arisen for her to show her niceness, if you get what I mean, but glad that she's on the case to find out straight away if there's anything underlyingly wrong, rather than just shitty luck.

Ok :) I feel like we just needed to surround you with luff initially.
Ok so MSB's appointment, it's pretty good news...I think. Bit vague....the anxiety has probably caused the initial infertility, the increased anxiety resulted in him needing meds. The meds may have caused problems with his swimmers! Plan is to stop the meds and scan his brain to see if he's got one, ha! and see which is causing it. Either way he thinks it's treatable and once his hormones are back in the normal range I'll be upduffed. The meds will be withdrawn by Christmas so I'll be brooking again in the new year
We've both relaxed massively since the appointment and are off to see Andy Parsons tonight so we should be laughing lots.

Course once the levels do get right we'll be in the 'normal' time frame so 80% chance of getting upduffed within a year.

That all sound pretty positive, faithicle! How is MSB? Pretty chuffed? Or still a bit anxious?

Have just been for another blood test (the repeated CD21 thing, which they pretty much admitted they are only doing to distract me while I wait for my clomid appointment next month). Nice cake in the hospital coffee shop though, so what do I care?

Yes he seems more positive. Happy to stop the meds now too. I think he's just glad we're doing something
Cake sounds good. Who knows, maybe the day 21 bloods will surprise them all?

That's great news Faithy ! Maybe some acupuncture could help with MSB's anxiety while he's newly off the meds?

It is such an unexpectedly nice thing to find yummy good cake in a hospital coffee shop, eh, Northerly ? Are you still feeling alright side-effects-wise on the clomid?

This morning a very sweet nurse gave TOM and me hot chocolate drinks after taking my bloods. Pretty weird, but very much appreciated. And tasty, too! Shockingly good treatment at the EPU.

That's really thoughtful isn't it? Somehow I imagine the hot chocolate was quite comforting.
MSB and acupuncture! It's probably a very sensible suggestion but he is generally anti medical people, counsellors count apparently. He only went to two counselling appointments. I think he'd been skeptical about the acupuncture. The words 'mumbo jumbo' spring to mind. I iz going to suggest it though. Worth a try yes?
Actually laura/northey ime hospital cake iz some of the best. Specially my hospital's carrot cake. Yum.

laura I am so pleased that you have had good treatment and have a nice GP. I managed to get referred after only two miscarriages too. It helps with ttc again when you feel like something is being done. I ended up with a "we aren't quite sure but it might be antiphospholipid syndrome" diagnosis, and they are treating me as if I definitely do have it. Most of the tests was just blood testing, the only invasive thing was the dildocam. Hopefully in a month to six weeks, when you get your cycle back, you'll be able to get referred and everything. It is impossible to feel lucky about it, you are right. Lucky people are the ones who never need it. But it will help you not to feel doomed to failure next time.

faithy three cheers for the olympic swimmers! Enjoy Andy Parsons. I am having an excellent comedy fest at the moment. Last week it was Stephen Merchant -he was hilarious! Tomorrow it is Dave Gorman - not seen him before so no idea. Next week it is Sarah Millican, I love her! A busy month for going out so skintness will likely follow!

Not on Clomid yet, laura - next month's appointment is where they will (supposedly) prescribe it.

Catch him while he's happy, faif. He might agree to all sorts of unlikely stuff and will be wearing woo crystal anklets before you know it.

Laura glad you have a tiny silver lining amongst the shitfest you are dealing with, I absolutely hate it when hearing about people trying to manage this stuff with less than sympathetic HCPs. More (((hugs))) for you both.

Kat I heart Dave Gorman so hope you enjoy him too. I saw his Googlewhack show in Greenwich (NYC) on my birthday several years ago and we chatted and had a drink afterwards when we went to get our books signed I find him very funny.

Faith great news about the SA results. Fingers crossed that things go to your new plan!

LP glad that your Dr seems to be proactive. Really hope she gets the ball rolling for you quickly.

Faith hurrah for answers. Get those swimmers on a strict diet and exercise regime ready for the shagfest.

My heating is fixed, hurrah! There was something wrong with the boiler - a whojamaflip wasn't spinning or summat - but we are all systems go now!

I've decided to try and make one of those "cakes in a mug" for after my dinner tonight, so I'll report back with a full appraisal once it's been eaten so you can all have a crack yourselves. [ponders if the ability to make a choccy cake in under 5 minutes is really a good thing]

Cake in a mug?! Recipe, please Cavelina

TOM just made burgers and lemon ricotta cake...but I might need more cake

Of course LP

4 tablespoons of self raising flour
4 tablespoons of caster sugar
2 tablespoons of cocoa powder
3 tablespoons of milk
3 tablespoons of oil
1 egg

Mix it all in a bowl then pour into a large mug (seriously you need a BIG mug!)

Microwave on full power for 3 mins (might need longer if your microwave is not that powerful).

Leave to cool, turn out into a bowl & eat!

Mine's just cooling as I type. Smells amazing!

Verdict: not bad. Bit on the dry side, I may have overcooked it, but nothing a bit of cream/ice cream can't fix.

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LP - shitsticks. I am so sorry. Glad to hear you have Someone In Medical Circles who is on your side. But hope the gin, cake and cheer are making your world feel a little more bearable.

If you want to come on and write drunken ranting messages, I for one will welcome them! You might want to look at that there Rie for inspiration!