The BESH Factor. We're not on a journey or finding ourselves. We just want to win!

[InTheSunshine]

Join us. Not just Saturday nights but every night for fun filled 30 something TTC. Drumroll pliz. Bring out some sexy dancers. We're ready to sing for a win.

We do Boo, we do. Funny how I always went for tall, dark musicians and ended up with a short, blonde tone deaf surfer.

Who's judging bugs - about to start watching 'Jawbreaker' -it's got a sexy scene with Marylin Manson and everything.

Rie I would be OUTRAGED if SSG failed to make the tea. And also burnt the oven gloves. Tell him it is Not Good Enough.

Boo are the boots there yet?

I didn't know Euro was a seleb. I wondered why, when I offered my name to her in a PM about jizz vits, she hadn't responded. Thought that she just didn't like m . I am FB friends with the a few of the ESH. If anyone else wants to stalk me feel free to PM me.

I don't think any of my ex's are capable of having offspring. One is a crack addict. Nice.

I am going to my friends house for a girly dinner tonight. Tres excited about it.

I quite like that Amy bird after watching her on Celeb BB.

euro is a sleb? Cool. Is she John Barrowman? With ishoos? I like to think of her singing songs from the shows, and jazz handing away in the bedroom.

Sunnysunnysunnysunny! Your girly evening sounds good. Have a luffly time.

One of my exes is a pschychiatrist. I stay well away from him, though amusingly he is the only one unsprogged. One is an optician - could be useful - sprogged. One is a design consultan - wanker - again, sprogged. Thes rest (that I know of) are bit part twats and either have a few or are expecting them. Sigh. I'm not sure if there are any crack addicts amongst them - I'll have to find out.

I really would rather not have this boob pain you know. You know from about 4 DPO you've had another babyfail, and then you are reminded of it every time you fucking move . I'd rather the droid was a lovely surprise each month and you could hang onto a bit of hope a while longer. Lyra was saying Needles sorted out her two weeks of nork pain. I can't really afford it but I may give it a go :(

I wonder if Euro is Kate Middleton. It would be nice to have a royal patron. Sophie Countess of Wessex was an utter BESH - she could have done the job admirably.

Oh, and MrPole is EXACTLY the same as MrBoo and MrBellsOn with things like that. Also with things not like that. He is a daydreaming spoon who is usually singing an ickle song in his head at crucial moments (eg in meetings with bank or solicitors). And then is all surprised by how the laws of intestacy would relate to us, when i mention it 5 years later, and expects me to be charmed by how vague he is. I am not charmed. Bloody children, the lot of them.

Oh yes the "Aren't I scatty and male, aren't I funny?" thing. When he cracks jokes with brother/friends about having a magic washing fairy who makes the clothes clean again and puts them in his drawers, I could hit him. And if anyone says, "Well don't do it then, let him do his own washing," I'll hit them as well!

Yes! Because if you do that, then he will put three washes on a day, for one pair of pants at a time. And leave the final pair mouldering in the machine for a week.

Yes That's if he knows how the damn thing works. I found him the other day agonising over which cycle to put his jeans on.

And don't get me started on wiping down surfaces or not as the case may be. And...and...and...chaging the fucking bin? Hmmm? Is that so hard?

Oh I think I am going to have to listen to some Mozart in a pink padded room.

ChaNging obv.

We're getting near the end of this fred, that seems to have gone by quickly!

Sticks are pur-chased Had to dodge 3 teenage looking girls with 2 pushchairs [judgemental] hovering in front of the tests discussing an upcoming date one of them had. I quote "His body's really fit, imagine what his penis is like"

Rie definite saucepan to the side of the head for MrA. Berk!
HWHNN is pretty good actually, he does his own washing and ironing - it's a military thing. Apparently I don't iron his shirts right My only complaint is that when he cooks he will use EVERY SINGLE SAUCEPAN WE OWN!

Cramping again this afternoon, but the latest knicker check confirms no sightings of the robotic variety.

Pee! pee! peeeeeeee! all that stuff about first morning urine is not true. Any pee will do!

I do all the washing. Otherwise it would possibly not get done until he had used up his entire two month supply of pants. I remember when we first got together he thought going to Asda to buy more pants and socks was a good way to solve the problem of a broken washing machine.

Have you done the cigar yet though, Cavey?

You mean the Army housetrains them? Maybe I'll send MrA to do National Service. Good plan.

I am so jealous of those teenage girls. Not being pregnant - just all the snogging.

MrBoo is worse than the small one. Although it is inherited. I just sent him upstairs to get his case to pack for his sleepover tonight he shouts down 'I can't find it' and I shout back 'it's next to your chair', and then he shouts back 'Oh. I'm in your bedroom'.

According to some of the stuff I've read in feminism you can condition it out of them but I'm yet to be convinced.

I can't bear the thought of conditioning it out of them. The rows that would ensue!

Oh yes Rie the orrifcers are TAUGHT to iron! Hence why you see them all heading off to Sandhurst/Cranwell with an ironing board under their arm! (PS HWHNN is RAF, he'd get very cross with me if I let anyone think he was of the green variety )

[Disappears to search for this cigar thing]

The RAF then. And I prefer RAF uniforms to be honest.

Out of the boychildren Rie. The men are a lost cause.

We've only got 25 posts to decide on next fred. I can't do it. I've got to watch instruction videos on youtube made by rockabilly teenagers in how to do victory rolls for tonight.

Shall we have an office party thread?