Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Great news on getting to hear the hb lara - hope that gives you loads of reassurance for coming here on your hols!

And harassed - fab that you got to hear your bean as well - big smiles all round I'm sure. I've been doing yoga for the past year and can highly recommend it, particularly for the wind-down period at the end - always feel lovely and floaty afterwards and that's a v good price too.

Any more bleeding bigmacsauce? Really hope it's all calmed down for you.

Here's a big slimy haddock for you minnie - feeling better now?! And another for you blackkat.

Keeping everything crossed for you willitbe over the next few days and hope the mentalling is not too severe.

Really glad to hear that you have taken steps for the counselling milky and here's hoping for an early appointment. Have you had any counselling before for anything? Everyone is different of course, but I found it quite an odd (but good) experience for at first as it really is all about you and it's not often in life that we spend a whole hour just talking about ourselves with no interruptions other than gentle questions designed to make us talk even more about ourselves. It's as if I wanted to say "anyway, enough about me bleating on, tell me about what you've been up to" or similar . The thing I found most beneficial was saying stuff out loud that had been going around and around in my head and realising that when it's out there, it doesn't seem quite so mad/bad/abnormal and you can get a bit of objective distance from the issues you're facing. Hope this doesn't sound completely odd and that it might help in some way.

collie was very quiet yesterday- hope all is ok with you

Oh, had m/w appt yesterday - fairly uneventful other than 3.5 kg in 8 weeks and apparently it's now that the weight starts really going on . BP is fine and just got talked through the next scan in 3 weeks, glucose tolerance test etc. Hopefully I'll get to see my ob/gyn in about 3 weeks if her 3 broken vertebrae have healed by then .

Waves to all and leaves freshly toasted and buttered muffins x

Morning All... Just plucked up the courage and joined the grads thread... Hearing minigoatbean's heartbeat was so encouraging so I thought I'd brave it... (Now waiting for Blackkat to join me...) Will still spend time all day every day on this site and of course we'll all be on the grads thread too in due course anyway.

WIW - can't recall if you posted it on this thread or the other thread but I feel utterly clueless about birth / post-birth too. I'm not getting too worried though - there's loads I've learned so far on this journey so as we hit different stages in our pg, I am sure we'll learn more. I am confident too that lots of it will be instinct hopes and prays.

Collie - where are you love?

CEP - are you feeling okay?

BigMac - hope the bleeding's gone.

Everyone else - a big wave and hug....

Yoga sounds lovely - will start pg yoga as the pg advances I think. Feeling pretty good at the mo - bump is a definite pg shape now (!) On the way to hospital yesterday a random woman stopped me and asked me if I was expecting (thank God for both of us that the answer was yes!) and then she said "may God bless you with a healthy and beautiful baby". Was quite sweet in a random-stranger-stopping-you kind of way. Looking forward to bump getting bigger.

For anyone flying anywhere soon, I just rang Qatar Airways and they have recommended I bring a fit to fly letter. They said that at check-in they will inform all parties along my route about my pg. Pretty good service that I will do my best to milk.

Oh dear re. now being the weight gain period, WIW... I am too scared to weigh myself. I am doing my best to eat healthily and the same quantities as normal. Today is a naughty food day though - DH and I promised we'd have a Chinese takeaway tonight.. However, I'd forgotten I'm taking my team out for lunch to a Turkish restaurant. Oh well - I am introducing Minigoatbean to the wonders of international cuisine.....

Hi everyone

Very nice to hear news of heartbeats galore and very sorry that my nickname may be inspiring more visits than normal to maccyd's!

I've had a rather bizarre 36 hours - after posting about the bleed (def front bottom and not back bottom ) all was well on Wednesday and it tapered off and had stopped completely by bedtime. Went to work yesterday and nipped to the loo as i needed to go. When I did 'go' (sorry all) i felt a really weird gush feeling and sure enough there was loads of blood. To cut a long story short I panicked and EPAC advised I go straight to A&E where i then spent the next 4 hours. Lovely people, really kind but by god there are some numpties in the world. One nurse was talking outside my cubicle trying to organise my scan, saying "we've got a threatened miscarriage here" which had me quaking in my boots. Had bloods taken - turns out my veins are harder to find than decent jeans and then went for a scan. Met by a midwife who actually said after hearing what was going on "oh dear, that doesn't sound good at all" . Mascara and snot everywhere. Mine, not hers although it was a close thing.

2 mins later, in the scan room and there was the butter bean, heartbeat pumping, hands behind head and legs crossed as if on sun lounger . It turns out my placenta is very low and the tip of it is dangling on my cervix and has come away a little bit. I'm now on bed rest at home until Tuesday to let it heal up and am seeing the GP this afternoon to get some, ahem, loosening powder for my problematic bottom (no piles as yet, happy days). All have said not to worry as there is plenty of time for the placenta to move up and most likely will have by the 20 week scan (FX we get there).

So, I've been watching True Blood 3, eating some thorntons continental and trying not to worry today. It could be worse and i'm very relieved that for once all of this didn't happen on a weekend or bank holiday which is my usual timing for a bean-related emergency.

Lots of positive energy to you all and I thought I'd leave this pile of warm cheese scones and butter to see us all through the afternoon.

Flipping hell bigmac how scary!!!! Make sure you're following their instructions to the letter.....

With regards to the "loosening powder" please don't let them give you Fybogel or similar. It is the grossest thing on the planet!!! It's orange plastic granules and you either take a mouthful and try to swill it down with water, or put it in a glass of water .

Enjoy your chocolate!

Thanks Harrassedinherpants. I agree, Fybogel is rank. If i remember rightly it's like drinking wallpaper paste with a hint of orangey flavour? mmmmmmmmm

I'm missing a wedding in the lake district this weekend now but Mr Bigmacsauce is going (with my blessing) so have booked in a set of slaves friends and family to come over and do everything for me keep me company

Awh Bigmac what a stressful time you've had. I can't believe how insensitive some of the nurses were saying comments like that. So glad minimacbean proved them wrong! Get loads of rest and think positive placenta raising bottom movement thoughts (is there such a thing!?)

Phew this is the lucky scan thread. OMG pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase let it continue. 10 days until my 12 week scan. Tick tock....

xxx

thanks bumpgrowing - i think i may have invented some placenta raising bottom exercises today. It may just be my actual bottom growing though with all the chocolates i've inhaled today... (i was off chocolate since getting the BFP but I seem to have fallen off the wagon again with spectacular results)

The wait for the 12-weeker is veeery long isn't it - minibumpgrowing will be somersaulting in the meantime waiting for his/her chance to show off to you just how casual and relaxed they are about the whole thing. Little blighters.

BTW, anyone tried bump bands? I bought some from new look's website and I'm really pleased with them as I think i'm going to be able to make my trousers last a bit longer. Basically a boob tube without the boob-holding mechanism.

I don't work for NL btw - just reread that and it looks like a total plug. Other bump band retailers are available!

Let's hope so. I've had a sneaky peak at the mini bump (which looked like a dolphin) at 8 weeks but I am really worried something will have gone wrong in the meantime. I wasn't going hunting for bad news but a poor girl on the MC thread went for her 12 week scan a couple of days ago and the little bean had died 2 days before. So so sad. It's just so scary when you read about things like that

xx

It is scary, you're totally right. the 12 weeker being scary is something i never considered for a minute before the MC. I naively thought it would just be a lovely chance to see the baby. Pah.

All you can do is know that the odds are in your favour and give yourself plenty of TLC in the meantime. Building in some things to do over the next 10 days - little milestones - might help the time pass? I feel for you.

I got banned from searching threads and Dr Googling by Mr BigMac in the days before our scan.

bigmacsauce so relieved to hear all is ok, though wish you hadn't had to go through such a wait at the A&E. So glad all is ok.

to Bump, HIHP and to everyone else

Lara worrying that people will wonder why you've got such a curious name now, the goat thing only arose from your Esmerelda flirtation, I may well make the leap if Tuesday goes ok!

Hi everyone, sorry to barge in but please could I join this thread?! I'm 8 weeks at the moment and feeling a bit panicky. I had a mc at 5 weeks last September and a mmc at 10 weeks in February, so am really trying not to expect the worst with this one. I had a horrible day a couple of weeks ago with really bad pains and some bleeding. I went straight to the EPU - getting there and waiting around was really awful as i just assumed I was miscarrying again as the pains were so bad. They did a scan and saw a sac in the right place, but couldn't tell me whether everything was ok and right for dates or whether it had already stopped growing - they said it could go either way and to come back in 10 days!! Needless to say that 10 days was the longest ever!! Anyway, went back for another scan last friday and amazingly all ok and, not only that, but I found out it's identical twins! Great I thought, only to be told by the nurse about 1 second later that twin pregnancies are notoriously complicated, identical twins are the worst, and basically not to get my hopes up. It turns out I am 5 times more likely to miscarry identical twins than a singleton (not to mention the risks of all the other horrible complications). Hmmm. Am trying to exist in a calm place where I think whatever is meant to be will happen is for the best, but it is really hard!!!!! I have really bad cramping pains for so much of the time (they come and go but are usually worse when moving around) which are totally freaking me out, in spite of the horrible nausea and tiredness. Anyway, sorry for the very long and ranting post. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

ladybird33, I'm really new on this thread too - hi!

Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy - fab news and twins!

It sounds as though you have been through the mill and I really feel for you. One day at a time is all that can be done, but having lurked on this board for a while I think this is the place where you can come and mental about anything that it worrying you.

I feel very angry on your behalf at what the nurse said to you. I can't imagine why she felt that you needed to hear her golden gems of wisdom . Please, please try and set those thoughts planted by her to one side. Being pregnant after a miscarriage is difficult enough without those added extras.
Take care of yourself
xx

ladybird welcome

bigmac DO NOT MOVE. glad they saw you so quickly and baby's hb was good. hope it heals quickly.

collie hope you're ok sweetie.

lara i'm ok thanks, couldn't come on earlier dh stole the laptop and hogged it so i couldn't get on.

Thankyou all for the good wishes, i'm not too bad, not as bad as i thought i would be.

sorry i've been quiet the past few days, thanks everyone for checking on me. I've got friends staying so it's been busy. I have 2 of my best fiends and their oh's visiting. It was our annual brass band festival yesterday. If you've seen brassed off, it's just like that. In fact it was filmed here. Sounds incredibly sad, but it's a great day. Today's our annual charity beer walk too, which obv i won't be doing. But it's great as hundreds of people get dressed up in fancy dress do a huge pub crawl through all our villages to raise money. It's always a great sight!! So having a loveky weekend.

Hope everyone has nice weekend plans

YAY for harassed and lara on hearing hb!!! Lovely!!!!

minnie someone at my work is due the day before me, and one of my friends the day after. No reason you can't enjoy a heathy pregnancy as your work colleague. All will be fine.

bigmac welcome to the thread. I'm so sorry about your scare but yay for wonderful twins. I suppose in her way the mw was trying to be honest and prepare you for the worst, but she really could have been much more tactful. Plenty of ID twins make it so no reason to think it won't be your little beans!

cep ((bigsquishyhug)) for Thursday. I'm glad you managed yo get through it without it being too difficult. I didn't get much chance to post on mn, but I was thinking of you.

My dd is really starting to loom like a dark cloud. I saw my neighbour who is due a few days after my dd last night and it was really hard. I just don't understand why I'm ok with the lady at work who I have to work on projects with and who is due on practically the same day, but i'm a mess with my neighbour. I just find looking at her and talking about it so hard. Didn't help she was prancing around in an 'I love my bump' t-shirt. I don't get why people who are about to pop feel the need to wear a t-shirt pointing it out. We all see your bump!!! [irrational emoticion] Anyway to top it off, dh told her dh were expecting. And he said 'oh right'. WTF??!! No, congratulations, No how far gone. We used to actually be freinds with these people. Oh well.....

Thanks for sharing your experience of counselling WIW, I've never had counselling for anything so am ready to pour my heart out to whoever will take me! Do they discuss your thoughts with you or do you just talk about how you're feeling and go away? My mind is a mess - it could just be these pregnancy hormones though.
I am glad your m/w appointment went well!

bigmac congrats on the scan - it must be such a relief knowing exactly what caused the bleeding. Take care of yourself!

ladybird congratulations on the twins! What lovely news. Sorry about your m/w - they can say awful things sometimes without realising it. Just keep positive and you'll have plenty of support here to vent!

collie I'm not a big fan of those t-shirts either!

Going into week 11 tomorrow. Can't believe it. I can finally feel my uterus above my pubic bone which is a bit reassuring as with my MMC, there was nothing there. I maybe jynxing myself here (as it's my next scan on Monday) but I think I've been having weird movement in my lower tummy - maybe baby movements? I know it's too early, but it makes me feel better thinking it's that and not wind or muscle spasms (which they probably are!).

waves at everyone hope you're all having a nice weekend!

collie i don't mind the tops so much but know what it's like when they don't say congrats. My MIl didn't first thing she said was that i was going to have twins. I thought how bloody rude i haven't put any weight on. turns out she'd read it in the stars that twins would be joining the family. I'm thinking maybe you find it more difficult with your neighbour as you were friends. an also you knew you were pg at the same time. (if i remember correctly you found out about your work colleague a little later didn't you?)

milkyways good luck for your scan on monday. I have my 20 week on wednesday and i'm still feeling nervous about it. but i have to admit i'm not as bad as i was.

i've killed the thread.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Hey Cep - this thread is insanely quiet these days, huh? You haven't killed anything...

The stats also haven't been updated for days... will find them and update them now (as I have so much to do in the office at 9am on a Monday AM).

Here all is well - we have decided to start clearing the "spare room". I didn't want to do it so early but DH rightly said that regardless what happens with this pg, we'll be getting rid of stuff in any case so better to do it now.. It's quite therapeutic.

Feeling very inbetweeny at the mo. I think I've got "used" to my bump and so thought it had disappeared this AM (it's well and truly there). As I feel absolutely fine, I have started to worry... Silly me (always have these momentary panics).

Wishing DH wasn't still so adamant on abstaining from, erm, you know what... I know he has baby's best interests at heart and is just scared but I actually feel quite "in the mood" these days. It is totally safe, right?!

Cep - if you didn't kill the thread before, I definitely will have done now....

Change the subject... bought a dream genii pillow on Saturday. Best purchase so far... It is amazingly comfortable and had two really good nights' sleep. I thoroughly recommend it to anyone having trouble sleeping. DH is very happy too because the pillow is really compact and so he has got all his bed space back (I hogged the bed with four pillow before to try and ease the pressure off my tum and back).

Anyways - off to update stats... hope my monologue was alluring enough to bring some of you back... Where the hell is everyone?

Lol, I thought the same thing about my post cep

Happy Monday everyone!! Really wishing I'd booked today off but instead I have to write a report and take it to manangement team..booo

Feeling rather sorry for myself today. Backache has gotten worse and by the end of every day I'm in agony and just cannot get comfy. Had to go to bed before everyone on Friday as it was so bad. And bed is no better, I spend the night tossing and turning in pain plan to get a pregnancy pilliow but I've been using cushions over the weekend and they've not helpped much. [seeking sympathy emoticion]

Hope everyone else is ok? Any scanners today?

Hi everyone, thanks for your welcoming and supportive messages!
bigmac I hope you are feeling better and that the placenta-moving bottom exercises are going well :o
collie male reactions to other peoples pregnancies are often very disinterested in my experience! Maybe the wife (her of the giant bump and slogan t-shirts) may be more congratulatory when she sees you?
milkyways congrats on reaching week 11. Can you explain how to feel your uterus above your pubic bone - is it internal or external? Would love to try to feel that (it's meant to happen earlier with twins) but not sure I will be able to feel it through the layer of flab left there from ds!
cep hope your scan on weds goes really well!

I am now counting down the days until my 10 weeks scan (which I am self-referring myself to) next Monday - I feel like my life is one long countdown!!

Last thing, MIL was staying this weekend and actually came out and asked me if I was pregnant!! Is it just me who thinks that is totally unreasonable? She knows about my mcs - doesn't she understand that if I wanted to tell her then I would?! I felt it put me in a really difficult position of either having to lie to her face or tell her something I really wanted to keep private. Anyway, I chose the first option and told her that I wasn't but that I would tell her as soon as I had any news (i.e. after my 12 week scan). What would you guys have done??!!! I feel this question lurking with a couple of friends too and really don't know how to get round it. Help!

yay people...hello people.

lara i hate the middle bit, where there's no symptoms and you can't feel movement yet it's pretty much the worst part. dh and i went through some of the baby equipment yesterday, One of the toys needed fixing so dh did that. There's so much that needs doing before baby gets here.

I have a nightmare a nightime, dh insists on having his side of the bed (and what feels like part of mine) even when i'm huge i get told to move up so having a pillow is going to be impossible.

collie sorry your back is still hurting have you thought about going tot he gp? I'm finding my pubic bone hurting when i stand too long or walking far, not looking good for next few months. why don't we cry on each others shoulder.

ladybird sorry xpost, unfortunately my mil is greek so is outside of normal realms. She says anything that comes to her head. It is really awkward though and i would have done the same i think. It's up to you when you want to tell her and other people. Was there a reason she asked? was it just random asking or had she seen "signs".

Well she was watching me v closely for most of the weekend, I wasn't drinking, didn't go running and my boobs are massive. She didn't mention any of those things but if it seems obvious I suppose I can't blame her for wanting to know.... she clearly thought it wasn't inappropriate to ask. She will just have to forgive me for lying to her when (hopefully, please, please) the time comes to give her the good news!