Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Collie - get the Dream Genii (you might have mentioned it before). It is so snug and really made a huge difference to our sleep (DH AND I). On Thursday last week, DH got into a strop (as his sleep was so disturbed by me) that he announced that for the rest of the pg, he'd be sleeping in the other room. Anyways, since I got the Dream Genii (!!) he's back and we're both happy. Before that I'd have terrible pain and very restless sleep

Morning all, sorry been v busy this wknd! You didn't kill the thread Cep

Welcome ladybird, have all crossed for an uneventful next 7 months for you.

Milkys good luck for today's scan

Collie sorry to hear the back is sore the pillowsounds like a good idea, I might invest too.

Hello to lara (I'm still worried about your name!) I'm stressing about mw appt tomorrow, so worried that she won't hear anything.

On another note, started knitting yesterday, have managed one row!!

Scooby are you back yet? good week?

to everyone

I have changed my name again, Blackkat - don't worry... But I hope you feel suitably guilty for even calling the Little Bean a mini Goat!!!

I was petrified too re. the heartbeat but it was awesome when she did. I something think that I have to spend all day every day stressing about Little Bean and if I stop thinking about Bean, then he / she will stop growing... Of course, Bean will carry on doing his / her thing regardless....

My stepmum claims to have had a premonition that Bean will be a boy. Hmmmmm....

Get the Dream Genii! Worth every one of the £45!

Morning!

Wow, lots to catch up on. I apologise now for missing people!! Had such a busy weekend, hence no posting, that I'm shattered. Stupid cat woke me up at 5am (having issues with the thing ) so I'm really tired and that makes me feel sick

Collie glad to see you back posting! I think you should make yourself an appointment with the chiropractor. I've signed up for preg yoga too, hoping that will help.

Lara you should have taken dh up on that offer, you'll be grateful for the space in a few months .

ladybird welcome! I would have lied too, but I think it's rude and unreasonable to ask you.

Cep I can't believe you're getting your 20 week scan soon!

Can I just ask what dopplers you bought?? Thinking of investing in one.

No news here really. Have a check up on Wed to see what my stupid bp is doing and going to ask them to listen in to the hb again. I have a bp monitor at home after last time, but can't get the blasted thing to work properly! Apparently last night I had no bp......

Righteo Ladies - have updated the stats... "Ladies, we have to get back into the habit of updating this every day!"

Nice one lara - thanks for updating.

Good luck with the scan today milky. Re: the counselling, it will depend on who you see about what sort of techniques they use, but generally I think it will be gentle questioning to help you open up your thoughts and don't worry if you think it all sounds like a mess - part of their role is to help you unjumble them all. They may also send you away with some "homework questions" to think about before the next session.

Welcome ladybird and your identical twin beans! Do you have family history of them? Must be a scary time for you and I hope the countdown to scan number 1 goes as quickly as possible. Grrr at MIL.....

And what about bigmacsauce? How are you getting on? Plenty of rest still I hope and presumably you'll need to be a bit cautious going forward.

I would strongly recommend you get a referral from your GP collie for a chiro or physio or similar as it's possible the backache may only get worse as you get heavier - I don't want to scare you, but the earlier you can get help, the better..... It may also be something pelvic related (e.g. something out of alignment) that's causing the issues.

Not much to report from here other than really focusing on trying to enjoy this pg more. DH and I both quite advanced in years so highly likely it will be our only bub so I should try and embrace and enjoy this one-off experience!

lara i know, it's scary. it's going quite quick at the moment.

Am also thinking of the genii as hopefully it'll be good for my spd.

Wibbes at being moved down to grads thread.....Eeeeeekkk!!!! Well, if i'm moving cep you had best join me!! Also, i think tunnocks has also moved over. Can I stay posting here though please?????

lara i have been looking at the dreamgenii's - i posted on the grads thread to ask. Although people on there didn't seem to think they were worth the cash. Think i'll have a good google tonight and buy something. Its reassuring to know it made a difference to you and that you used normal pillows too with little success. DH would sleep through a hurricane so i don't really disturb him although like harassed i'm usually squished onto 1/4 of the bed as he spreads out. I had my arse hanging over the edge of the bed as i needed to turn over and face inwards and he was sprawlled in the middle!!!!!

Ps, yes dtd the safe, you can reassure him of that, unless you are Rhesus Neg (i think) I think its personal choice. TMI, but we dtd for the first time since our bfp today . No blood so far (fx)

cep i'm sorry you are in pain too, it sucks so early one doesn't it?!!!

ladybird i am so sorry, i don't know if i said welcome. If if didn't, sorry, and welcome. No, you are completley within your rights to have kept it to yourself and she would be totally unreasonable to not understand when you finally decdied to tell her. I think she had no right asking really, especially knowing you have prev had a mc. So don't feel bad.

blackkat worring the day before your apt is normal, and as stated in the commandments, acceptable. But it will be ok, and it will be amazing when you get to listen in. Good luck for tomorrow. Hope todays mentalling is at a minimum.

harassed hello lovely. Def thinking of seeing a physio or chrio. Think will see gp first this week though. If its on my records, i can claim in back through a health plan i'm in. God i wish i had private medical - but working in ghe NHS thats not really reaslistic!

I have this doppler harassed but i paid about £35 off ebay. Its really good and only had one instance where i couldn't find the hb - well took us half an hour to find the fainest of sounds. Totally freak out but then in morning when tried again it went dead and realsied battery was flat!! poor pup being poke around for half an hour!!

Bought some nursery accessories yesterday!!!!! In the sale at M&P (i think i may soon mistake this place as my home). We bought a ickle sleeping bag, cot bumper, blanket and light shade!! soooooo cute. Also saw a cot bed I LOVE, but DH says its too expensive (which it is), but i'm working on him!!!!

sorry it was lara thanks for the stats and hihp yes i know (etc etc.) don't know where the missing bits went.

Morning all
All is well here with Minibigmacsauce thankfully, so one final day of being a fairly lazy cow before I go back to work tomorrow.

Ladybird, I'd have done the same as you with my MiL. I also am clueless about how to find my uterus through my belly bump... advice would be great

Lara one of the benefits of not being able to do much at the moment is that internet shopping is my friend... I'm going to get myself a dream genii today as that looks just the ticket. I've got a definite bump although not that big yet but I'm already tossing and turning a bit in the night

I'm also with you on the abstinence front, although have been told not to do it for 2 weeks to avoid another bleed, which I'm more than happy to do. Sex wasn't on my mind at all in the first 15 weeks as I felt so rough but I was starting to feel like it might be on the agenda again. Without giving too much detail, Mr Bigmacsauce has been feeling the strain of the long gap but last week scared him so I wonder if we'll ever do it again!

Have a good day everyone

I've just told my boss!! I was sooo worried about it. He was ok, a bit shocked and said I'm a bloody nuisance . Oh well!!

collie if you see M&P bits you want in the sale then you should buy them!! Their sales are normally brilliant. I got all dd's bedding in their sale, and still have some after giving a lot of it away. We weren't having another dc !

wombat can assure you I'm alive , well sort of anyway.

We've also been looking at what we need. As it's number 4 I kind of know exactly what I want and what I won't be buying (a baby bath!!). We still have our cot and a few bits, but there's a friend of friend who's selling all her baby stuff so hopefully be able to save a few £££'s. Scared dh last night by showing him how much prams have gone up by since we bought dd's........ that was actually quite funny!

Oops, new to this so didn't refresh before posting and now there are loads more messages. Sorry to ask a stupid question, but to pop myself on the list do I just copy and paste and insert my details? Also, what is the grads list? Is that the pregnancy after MC thread?

wombatinwaiting - cautious is (now) my middle name. I'm walking around as though I am made of glass

collieandpup I was scared that a doppler would increase my mentalling. Do you and the other ladies who have them think it helps or hinders on this front? (I'm assuming helps)

Collie - if you're uncomfy, you can out yourself back on the other list... It might have been my mistake... I don't want to frogmarch you to the other room lol... I bravely joined the other thread last week but still seem to spend all my time posting here as you're such lovely ladies and I remain as neurotic as hell

Gahhh - I AM rhesus negative... Anyone else doing the do and being rhesus negative without any scary bleeding or spotting so far....? Feeling like a bit of a slag (!) that I really, really fancy IT and DH would prefer to abstain...

Well done on being able to get jiggy first thing on a Monday morning Collie!

I am actually too scared to prod for my uterus... I can feel wibbles this AM in my tum... hoping it's the bean..

Liking the "quite advanced in years" description of you, WIW

No motivation whatsoever at work today. I might start making some lists of general stuff...

Ooh - Collie - popped into M&Ps on Saturday and was tempted to buy a gorge moses basket they had on sale and lots of other stuff. Settled on a winter pram suit (as Little Bean is due in November). Realised when I got home that I had accidentally bought petit-newborn. Want to take it back to the store ASAP as don't want to jinx myself by buying a premature / little baby size.

Which cot did you see, Collie? I love white sleigh cotbeds. Boori do some lovely ones. The furniture at M&Ps is gorgeous - such good quality wood.

We also popped into Mothercare for a sneaky peak (feel that now that I have a bump, I have more of a "right" to go in..) I think we might get the Bugaboo Cameleon instead of the Bugaboo Bee (original choice). I refuse to go back there until well after the 20 week scan....

Bigmac - I am too scared to get a doppler cos I know I'll become doppled (i.e. addicted). I prefer to try and hang on from scan to scan....

Do add yourself to the list - simply cut and paste. The grads list is for any ladies that feel comfortable enough to join the grads thread in the pregnancy section... It used to apparently be after the 12 week scan but I think we're all moving closer and closer towards 20 weeks before making the jump...

bigmac the grads thread was the original place where people off the ttc after mc thread went after their bfp and is on the pregnancy board, but then this thread was set up for people who were too chicken anxious to take the plunge so early on. So we all tend to freak out over here first and then move over and join the ladies who are much further along when we have the courage.

Well done harassed for telling boss. I assume the ?you?re a nuisance? comment was in jest and you have a good enough relationship to take it that way. Otherwise t*sser!!

Loving the fact that harassed has just given me permission to buy ANYTHING in the sale at M&P. I am going to print that and show DH!! lara the cot I like is the orchard one ? I think that?s the same range as the sleigh, but its just got a straight back.

Ohh I bought a winter coat too ? white puffer one!! Hehe Soooooo cute. Although mine is 0-3 months and up to 14lbs so I am hoping its way to big and I?m not going to be giving birth to a sumo baby!! Very impressed with my bravery, although I walked around the store for 20mins going ?are you sure it?s a good idea????!!!! Also managed to chuck in a couple of Mat tops, also in the sale.

Ohh Bugaboo Bee??? I?ve not really done any research on prams yet as I did a lot in first pg early on so somehow am totally paranoid about but ? but buying nursery gear is fine.. I was thinking Britax B-Smart or Quinny Buzz at the time?.any views anyone?

harassed no I find its done the opposite to make me constantly mental. Find it totally reassuring and think it?s the best £35 I have spent ? on a par with my private scan. DH loves it too, although comments last night that he thinks the regularity of our usage take away the ?specialness? of hearing the hb ? I?d say we Doppler every 2-3 days. So I said I find it reassuring, especially while I?m not feeling anything, so will do it on my own, and we?ll do it together once a week. I have gone longer than 2-3 days as I lent it to a friend and I didn?t stress, I just like the regular reassurance.

Hahaha - we have the same taste, Collie - I just looked at the furniture on line, saw the Orchard range and emailed DH to say we have to go there on Weds (working from home day) as it would be worth buying it now. I also think we bought the same coat, Collie (except you got the right size!) It came with teeny ickle mittens. I am gutted I have to take it back and will try to find correct size on line.

@ lara for buying my cot when dh says no!!!! The quality is fantastic and much better than sobe of the others in there. My ploy is to take him to sone expensive baby shops and show him other more expensive cots, so he'll buckle!!! mwahaaaaa!!

Lol at our same taste!!! Couldn't find the coat on the website-was going to post a link. Maybe it's not for sale online?

Collie I saw the Britax one, that looks quite nice. Would like a try though! My dil (we're a strange family now!!) had the Quinny Buzz and loved it, but said the back wheels were quite wide and a could be a pain in narrow shops. The carrycot is lovely and cosy though! If they still have theirs, ds1 didn't know , I'll buy it off them.

Bugs are lovely but dh will never fork out that much...... I also like the look of Uppababy Vista and I-Candy. My friend has just bought an I-Candy.

Just changing my dates as they moved after the scan:

Monday 20th June LIST

Lovemysleep 23+6 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 22+1 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 21+6 EDD 23/10/11
CEP 20+2 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 19+5 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 19+4 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 19+2 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 18+6 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 18+4 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 18+4 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 17+6 EDD 22/11/11
Blackkat 16+0 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11
Jigglebum 15+4 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 15+2 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 14+0
Dooscooby 13+4 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 13+4 EDD 22/12/11
Hadrian 12+4 Next scan - 13/06/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 11+4 scan 22/6/11
Updiffed 11+2
Bump 10+2
Hairylights 10+0
Mamarara 9+4
Lily06 9+3
Pigletmania 9+2
Laylasmummy09 9+1
purpletoes 6+4 EDD 09/02/12
willitbe 5+3

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 33+2 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 29+2 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 28+2 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 27+4 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 26+2 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 26+0 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 25+3 EDD 28/9/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 25+2 EDD 01/10/11
Emoo 24+4 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 22+0 EDD 24/10/11
Velvetcu 21+6 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 20+3 EDD 4/11/11
CollieandPup 18+1 EDD 20/11/11 next scan 20/06/11
wombatinwaiting: 17+4 EDD 24/11/11
LaraMi 17+3 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 17+0 EDD 26/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

Hey there
Just a very quick check in from Singapore! Fly home tomorrow, land tues eve. I've lurked a couple of times just to check everyone is ok. Not looking forward to the flight home but I managed ok on the way out so fingers crossed it will all be fine on the return leg.

I have some stories to share, the worst one involving my new SIL's bridesmaid who persistently harassed me about having kids as she had clearly registered that I wasn't drinking. Despite politely changing the subject on several occasions, she clearly wasn't going to let the subject drop. On the actual wedding day my new SIL (who I've only met twice and can't say I'm very fond of!) picked up someone's baby. Everyone cheered and made comments about her being broody, then the bridesmaid turned to me and across the table she said 'how do you feel about the fact that they might have kids before you?'. I just said 'yes they might, such is life' and smiled. I was completely flabbergasted as to why someone would say that to another person they don't know, infront of lots of other strangers? this was after the night before when she asked my MIL how she felt about having grandkids soon, in front of me. Anyway, I went to the loo to compose myself and then in the upset convinced myself that bump had disappeared and everything was going wrong again!!!! I couldn't get it out of my head that night and ended up bursting into tears and having to leave early.

My new SIL knows I'm pg and never said anything to me about the pg, apart from last night she said "we'd like to come to your house for Xmas". I nearly choked and said well that might be a bit difficult for us (given I'm due 22nd dec) and she said "oh, just have the baby early!". No congrats, no I really hope it works out for you this time or anything! Not to mention, I hardly frickin know you, have my own family to consider and you haven't spoken to me all week until now so why the fuck do u think I want you at my house at Xmas?!!!!

Arrgggh, anyway. I said this was a quick check I'm but it's turned into a big waffle about me-v sorry!

I look forward to catching up with you all properly when I'm back at work on thurs!!! Best wishes to any scanees and big hi to the newcomers X

OK, so I'm too chicken to buy anything at all ...though I was sorely tempted into a winter all in one (not my size I hasten to add) in The White Company on Saturday. However, needing to remortgage the house to buy baby clothes there soon put me off. I'm so impressed with all your bravery.

My Mum admitted that she has half-finished a knitted teddy bear which I insisted she showed me, which is infact very lovely. Though it gave me THE FEAR, I still can't believe this is happening to me. Despite the bump, the scan pictures, the mahusive boobs, the mentalling etc etc. I just can't believe it. Though I do think the little bean is shuffling about, I had a very weird sensation down my RHS that work me up last night.

Trying hard not to stress about tomorrow...but not doing a good job [pathetic emoticon]

List looks very short, Ireneand Tunnocks have definitely graduated too

Please don't all leave!!!!

You can relax, Collie - I haven't bought it yet.... And if I get it, I'll HAVE (!!) to get the matching wardrobe and changing station and then suddenly it's not such a great deal anymore (they get you with the price of the wardrobes). I think your ploy with DH is perfect... BTW I saw the sale is only on till Sunday so you'd better take your DH quick smart. We're currently selling a whole heap of cr*p from our spare room and so seeing the room empty and the cash pot increasing is motivating DH to go babyshopping (although I think it's cos he wants to get it out of the way).

The coat I saw was white and it had popper buttons, was quilted and had feet and a hood - they called it a quilted pram suit. I figured that any winter stuff nearer the time will be full price so it made sense to get it now (till I made a boob with the size).

DH fell for the Bugaboo when the guy in the shop likened it to being the Rolls Royce of buggies. Using a car comparison was always going to work

Family not strange, Harassed - just lovely and blended. I come from a very complicated family and wouldn't want it any other way.

Oh dear - now all I want to do is baby shop.... And then I get the fear of hell inside me and think WTF am I thinking...

Scooby so nice to hear from you, sorry Xpost, your SIL and SIL bridesmaids sound like complete cows. Totally insensitive cows to boot. that someone would try and put you on the spot like that. Harummph.

Have a safe flight home. x

X-posts... Doo.... at the evil, insensitive comments... Please don't let any of it get to you... I think sometimes people just speak without thinking...

Blackkat - no one is leaving! I totally relate to how you feel (as I feel the same). I am just trying to convince myself that being in a happy state of mind will create a positive mental attitude for Bean to thrive and grow in. You will feel a million times better after your HB check tomorrow (I was in your exact shoes this time last week).