Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Lara I have no clue what those cushion things were for, I was just a bit that they didn't tidy up their changing rooms more they do have nice toilets though.

I got a tankini in fact, it looks like an all in one, I was actually v impressed with it, I expected it to be entirely dreadful.

So did I feck the list up? It's something that really worries me!

Right time for that gossip, did you bring the biscuits? x

Thanks for the reassurance re the stretching ladies, only seems to happen when I walk at the mo. Must remember to sit on my arse some more!

I'm completely bored at work today too lara - have been for a few weeks now. Only 4 days until my holiday - just gotta get through Thursdays scan first...can't be many days until your hols now either?

No idea how much time I'll take of yet - too scared to think about it but would love to plan that, oh and when to take the rest of my annual leave! only get stat mat pay here as it's a tiny place, my days of having fab public sector mat pay are gone now that I'm finally (hopefully) gonna need it!

Can do better than biscuits - takes out two huge tubs of M&S "two for £4" - mini choc orange rolls and rocky road... (hoping it will atract more freak-outers to come and join us)

No, you didn't feck the list up - I think that over the weekend it just looked as if we were two weeks apart cos you weren't on 14 weeks yet and I was over 15 weeks...

What you mean you were teasing about those M&S Treats, outrageous! I've got two squares of Dairy Milk if you want to share?

www.mamasandpapas.com/range/swimwear-leisurewear/2691/ I got the blue one but the pinky one was nice too.

Ooh - it's lovely, Blackkat... And their swimwear is very reasonably priced. Hoping that by the time I go, I look more pg and not just fat and wobbly. (Got another 3 weeks to go).

Brilliant way to start your hol with a scan, Doo... Are you going to tell the world when you get back from your hols?

Talking of holidays, Lara you're off to Dubai aren't you, Scooby where are you going? I'm trying not to menta aboutl considering a week in Greece at the beginning of July. I'm worried about going away, am I being silly?

I'm loving the Zen terrace ladies!

No, blackkat I'm terrified of going away, especially now I know I'm a clotty blood person! We're going to Singapore, so it's a long flight to imagine having a DVT or m/c!!! Good bit is being away from work and being with DH as that makes the time pass much quicker.

I may well 'out' myself to the world when we're back, should be 14 by then (fingers crossed). I told the garden bloke of all people the other day, we're having the path/steps re-done and I told him I wanted them to be shallow, then I decided he probably needed to know that I meant 'ok for a buggy'. He then looked at me and said 'congratulations' and I didn't know what to say and spent the next couple of hours feeling really unpregnant cos I'd said it outloud and just before the 12 week mark! It's kind of easier to tell random people I find!

Can I join the ?bored at work club? too? I have loads to do, but I just can motivate myself and get my arse in gear. Is it not November???

That?s enough to lure me into the zen garden.

I think I?ll be taking the full year. I have a colleague who is very much like me, whose due to go on mat leave with dc2 soon and is only taking 6 months due to thinking she?ll get bored. She was surprised when I said I was thinking of having the full year, and it did make me question it, as I know I don?t want to be a permanent stay at home mum, but I think a year will fly. Can?t imagine leaving a 6 month old in childcare all week ? family either work or too far away. I had also thought about going back early so they?ll be so many changes going on while I?m off ? I figure I?d be more likely to establish myself a job if I was here than not, but I?ve decided bugger it, its depressing enough being about now during all the un certainty, why come back early and leave you precious baby with a stranger and be doubly miserable?? So yes, a year ? if we can afford it, as we haven?t saved a penny and are spending cash like its grows on trees at the moment. Luckily my mat pay is good though and so I think we?ll be fine without much saved, as we put off a move to a bigger house until after I return to work so that the mortgage wasn?t a strain

Ohhh, blackkat I like the tankini. I bought a new cosi from M&S a couple of months ago as my old one way to small ? even pre pg. I doubt it will fit for long so am thinking tankini too.

@ blackkat not knowing what the cushions are for!! Lol. I have to admit, although it freak me out, I did look lovely!!!

Lara glad I?m not alone in feeling that way about my pg friend. Although its weird because a have a close colleagues who is even closer to my dates and although its sometimes a bit sad seeing her, I?m generally ok. I think perhaps I got more upset with my neighbour as she is my age and we used to me good friends, doing lots of things together so she kind of reminds me of me iykwim.

doo I am having weird pains today too. But in my stomach and above my stomach. Really uncomfortable and a bit painful. Trying not to stress though ? I keep watching this link that mummya posted ages ago and I just remind myself how much movement and squishing is going on!

blackkat what worries you most about going away? Flying is fine, don?t worry about that. I think for me the main thing would be food and water so as long as you are staying in a place you can rely on for cleanliness etc and you eat in ?good? places (iykwim) and maybe stick to ?safe? food, I?m sure you?ll be ok. If we hadn?t have bought the camper we?d be having one last summer holiday as a couple! I am starved of sun!!

Buy DVT socks, Doo! I was browsing them on Amazon only this morning....

Bollox - Brian is making himself at home at my desk this afternoon. Just made a major boob... Got a legal case going on at the mo. My Dad passed last year and my Stepmum is contesting the will meaning that my siblings and I have had to appoint a solicitor and a barrister to protect our legacies (just what I need to lay out cash on right now - not). Anyways - got an email from the solicitor and I forwarded it to my brother and sister writing an arsey comment as I was peed off with the sol. Except I didn't hit forward, I hit reply to all... Just spent the last ten minutes trying to make amends.

Contemplating whether I can eat my pot of jelly with a fork as I have no spoon.

I got my DVT socks on Sat lara and then made DH work out a spready for switching my aspirin onto the different time zones (consultant said it was important to keep to every 24 hours). I'm a complete muppet I know, I'll drive poor DH mad for 13 hours on that flight. You lot are lucky that I won't have access to the FO room!

cross posts lara. I hate the 'reply all' mistakes - we've all made one. Maybe it will put a rocket up the solicitor?!
yes to fork for jelly - do it with confidence and no-one will realise it's not a spoon!

oh no lara !!!! How embarressing!!! Is it bad that I laughed out loud though??? Totally something I'd do! Have you managed to smooze them? might not be a bad thing though? Usually we don't have the balls to tell people we're not happy with the job we are paying the to do-which is ridiculous, especially solicitors who are such a rip off so darn expenaive (hopes noone is a solicitor..)

doo Singapore is lovely, lucky you although understand the long haul fear! X

Doo who are you flying with? I've flown to Singapore and the experience has been better with some airlines than others. Singapore airlines was the most pleasurable flight experience I have ever had, clean, spacious, courteous, good food etc, and that was in economy. If you are with them then the flight will be great if you let them know you are pg they will treat you even better and perhaps might even consider an upgrade?
Most GP's/surgeries will help you spell pills over time differences. I went to NZ with my Mum two years ago and her GP helped her work out when to take her drugs to maintain the correct dosage at all times.

Collie I'm most worried about being away from home if something goes wrong. We'd booked a holiday to Egypt in Jan that we had to cancel bcs of scan dates and subsequent m/c. To console ourselves we went to Northumberland for a wknd about 2 weeks later thinking all was over, but it wasn't and I started to haemorrage there and I think being away from home and worrying about spoiling someone else's carpet (bizarre I know) made the experience even more traumatic. It's like in my non-logical mind I equate being away with sth bad happening. Hmm. I know I'm being pathetic. We need to go away before December and this will be our last opportunity bcs DH's leave is planned a year in advance.

I think you're right about taking the year, I think it's best to be away when all that change is happening. Did you check your organisation's change policy yet?

Lara how did the jelly go? I'm sure the solicitor will have had worse emails. What an awful thing for you and your siblings to have to go through.

Onions lovely to see you thanks for the yummy cakes, domestic goddesses are most welcome here!! Your DS sounds too cute, what a lovely midwife, if only they were all like that!

Collie!!! Come and dig in to our goodies!

Will try the fork thing... Got a splitting headache and hoping jelly will cure it

Quite jealous of all the yummy noodles you'll eat, Doo. I am also v nervous about my trip - will be the first time I've gone abroad on a plane since I became pg. I know that hols during pg are to be enjoyed but I'm still fretting. Are you taking your maternity notes? I am... Thinking I'll put them in my hand luggage. Am going to ask WIW for a number of a hospital / doctor in case of an emergency.

Try to see the flight as an opportunity to watch lots of films, sleep etc. If you're travelling with Cathay or Singapore Airlines, the journey will be fab.

X-post Blackkat - cracked me up when I saw you raving about Singapore Airlines. Proves we're twins!

LOL, who are you heading to Dubai with? Emirates?

Good idea to take the mat notes with you, or even better a photocopy?

Clever idea re photocopy - didn't think of that!

Flying to Dubai with Qatar Airlines - also very good. Booked it last year and it was a great deal. Almost cancelled the holiday twice so it's quite weird to think we might actually be going. Scared sh*tless though (for no valid reason whatsoever)

V good idea about photocopying the notes, I'll do that as I could leave them anywhere with Brian!

Yep, we're flying Singapore Airlines and I remember they feed you constantly, which is a relief! We're only going cos it's a family wedding - otherwise would feel a bit adventorous for the clotty hyper-anxious pg lady! As it's getting closer though, I am getting more excited as it will be really nice to be away and to feel like life can be enjoyable whilst pg (if you know what I mean). Of course I have moments of completely panic and I think I will do until I'm back and have been scanned and shown the bub is ok. It could go disastrously wrong, but then I figure it could if I sit at home too!

I have a letter from the consultant saying i'm ok to fly, so I'm gonna tell them and hope for an upgrade...oh and we booked a day flight so that I can hopefully stay awake for most of it doing my flipping leg exercises and drinking water!

TMI but I've got really bad wind today, it's embarassing at work!

Cathay Pacific - are you kidding me??!! WORST flying experience ever!! (Opps doo hope its not them!!) Don;t get me started. Old and knackered, staff with Attitude, Poor facilities, crap food.... i really could go on and on

Singapore were great though - apart from Emirates i'd say the best i've flown with - and we though Thai Air were great too.

OK, had my two-penneth worth

blackkat I really don't think tere is much i can say to reassure you about anything going wrong especially given your experience. But you'll be around 18 weeks by then right? so its so much less likley anything will go wring at that point - but clearly not out of the questions as we sadly know all to well. Perhaps though push it back to late July and after your 20wk scan? or arrange a private scan just before?

No blackkat i've not checked the policies yet I was going to have a meeting with our Director of HR, but i've been so intent on hiding my pg that its completely gone out of my mind. But its well and truely out now, so thanks for reminding me!

hotnspicy good luck for your 20wk scan tomorrow - what are your suspicions??

They feed you constantly and they also water you regularly (unlike BA and Virgin grrrrr). Plus the desserts ae yummy things like Ben and Jerrys or Gu puddings.

I looked on the Qatar Airlines website and they recommend getting a doctor's letter too. I might try the same trick....

When you talk about being clotty, it makes me think of yummy clotted cream. With jam and scones. Yum. (I know that's not the clotted-variety that you had in mind).

ps - I don't recommend eating jelly with a fork. Luckily the desk, my clothes and the keyboard remained jelly-free but it's not really the smartest thing to do in an open-plan office.

Wow this thread is on fire! I'm feeling excited for all of you off on holiday soon. We went on hols in april so no chance of another holiday right now.

On the scan-front baby was measuring 2.33cm and I can just about make out two little stubs for legs. I am 9wks+1d so spot on. The hb was very strong according to the sonographer. I wil l be getting weekly scans now as I think I will cope better that way.

I think I will wait until 12 weeks (if I get there!) before I put myself on the list -definitely not confident enough yet!

Good luck to everyone else with scans this week!

GRRRRR i just lost a post!

Milky sounds like a very positive scan, great news

Scooby so pleased to hear it is SA you're heading out with. I was dreading you saying Virgin, which IMO is the worst possible airline in the world. We flew to the Far East with them, paid Premium Economy bcs my Mum was with us, the experience was on a par with Ryanair. Shameful.

FX for an upgrade for you and for Lara

Collie thanks, I do just need to get a grip and sort sth out. We can't move the holiday any later bcs DH's next scheduled leave is for the first week in October. He gets leave a year in advance and it's too late to switch now. Liking MrLara's six week block booking for October.

Right, time to crack open the non alcoholic fizz on the terrace methinks, fed up of apple juice.