I am jolly well going to get pregnant this month and I'll brook no argument.

[allhailtheaubergine]

Who's in?

I remember seeing a biscuit dipped in liquid oxygen burn pale blue - if that is any help.

Ah yes, blue. I remember. Like a bunsen burner.

Okay fellow Rat Whackers; speak to me about ovulation prediction kits.

How do they work? Are they reusable?

I think I may have to deviate a teensy bit from my original plan of dh spontaneously throwing me on the bed in a soft-focus lustful romp among rose petals to a background soundtrack of Barry White. [star-wipe to me sitting in white linen trousers, freshly washed hair, smiling smugly warmly at my neat little bump a few months later]

The problems we are having lie with dh, not me. So realistically, we need him to be On Form at exactly the right time, and we don't have lots of sperm to waste on shagging around at probably roughly approximately the right time.

We need to get military about this. Synchronise watches. Operation Ovulation is GO GO GO!! Get up those stairs! Fertilise that egg!

allhailtheaubergine - this is my first month of using OPKs. I bought a pack of the mega cheapie ones (about a fiver for 30 plus 10 pregnancy tests) from eBay. Weed on two a day (one at about 11am, one between 2 and 4pm) from CD11 without so much as a whisper of a line and then got what I thought was a positive on day 18, but now on CD 21 with no temperature rise so am wondering if it was a positive after all (I'm not really selling them, am ?). You don't just have to get two lines, like with a pg test - the test line has to be as dark as the control line. On my "positive", half the test line was as dark as the control line (although half wasn't) so I decided it was positive but this may have been wrong. My experience so far is that, while they give you something to do, and make you feel pro-active, they are not exactly the Insta-Preg solution I was seeking. However, no doubt someone else will be along in a moment to tell you how they conceived their triplets using OPKs despite having no uterus and not having had sex at all, so don't necessarily listen to me.

If you use them, perhaps you could wee on them in soft-focus while scattering rose petals on the bathroom floor?

Still, despite the fact that I appear not to have ovulated, I am of course still pregnant (as is everyone on this thread ).

Oh, the other thing I didn't like about OPKs was the fact that you are meant to restrict your fluid intake for a few hours to get nice undilute wee for the test, so as I was doing two a day, I spent half the day thirsty and everything you read says how vital lots of water is for EWCM. So wasn't sure about that, frankly.

Aubergine, I use a CBFM (Clearblue Fertility Monitor). I never had any luck with OPKs - they basically stuck a middle finger up at me and composed an Eminem-style rap accusing me of being permanently barren.

Dunno how the CBFM differs on the sciency side, but what I can tell you is that it definitely shows when you ovulate, and it can give a very good idea of 4 or 5 days when that rat should be smacked, and then some. I found it incredibly reassuring. Not sure how long you've been trying to smack the rat, but I can confirm that after 18 months the idea of it being anything other than a grinding chore flies out of the window. Having an actual shag-dictating baby-computer really took the pressure off, and the OM really liked it too - it sort of appealed the boy in him.

for me it obviously didn't 'work' in quite the miraculous instaduffle way I had imagined, but it does set my mind at ease.

Not sure why you're asking though. Seeing as you're clearly already duffled.

I bought some of those mega cheapie ones too and have had issues with them. This month I tested on CD8, 9, 10 and had a positive on day 8. The only reason I tested so early is because I couldn't get them to work last month so thought I might have missed ovulation. I didn't carry on testing because DH was away with work so not much point, and I keep forgetting to do the whole not weeing for 2 hours thing and do it at the same time every day. I too was hoping for the romantic option but with DH working away so much and late when he is here my only hope is to order him to bed.

They haven't worked because my bloody bastarding period arrived this morning but I didn't really think I could be pregnant this month, so I'm not counting it and I'll start testing on the OPKs as soon as it's gone.

Oh lintilla mate, I'm sorry. I too am reading the bloody periodical. I'll be your running mate this month, as it were

Sorry about the whole period thing lintilla and bloofer. This is just the beginning of your month-that-you're-definitely-going-to-get-pregnant. That's all.

I'm on about 7dpo. Seem to be getting quite sore twinges on right-hand side which I'm not at all happy about since I've already had an ectopic pregnancy on the left.

Sorry, not in spirit of thread I know but I hate this part.

Oh yes - re OPKs - I've heard they're a bit hit and miss so have never tried them. If your periods are regular, then charting temperature for a couple of months is very good.

I found out that I generally ovovulated on day 18 and could tell if it had already happened in a month by taking temp. At which point the frequent sexing could stop . Not that it's a chore or anything, oh no.

Fanks schobe. Though tbh if I had been duffled this months someone would've had to put a call through to the Vatican

Sorry about the ectopic, old thing. Rotten, absolutely rotten: no wonder you're a bit tense. I would ask how many days until you're due but as you're obviously pregnant there's no point my asking, right?

I guess my period is due in about a week. I have stripped the house of tests as I was developing a severe early testing habit.

Yer, that is an easy habit to get into so I'm told

I used to buy packets of cheapo ones off eBay, back when I still thought I could get pregnant. I think there's a dusty one lurking about somewhere still...

yy packs of 30 from ebay. When you've got that many, testing 2 days after 'conception' doesn't seem so crazy. Some people do that I think...

Morning Rat Slappers. Sorry about various periodicals :( For the first day I always think "I could still be pregnant, couldn't I...?"

Schobe, how long ago was your ectopic? The more time I spend here the more common they turn out to be, and the more horrid. Sympathies.

I am on Day 25 of a normally 28/29 day cycle. This morning I have a headache and slightly sore buzzwams. Definitely pregnant, non?

If the very very very slight chance that I am not up the duff this month comes true, then I will be starting with the Shag Dictating Baby Computer (SDBC - tm)

But I won't need to will I? Will I?

You're practically showing you're so pregnant Aries. Good show old bean.

My ectopic was just over a year ago. Then a mc at 7 weeks in Feb.

This is going to sound extremely silly but I feel lucky to have caught twice in the last year. At least something is happening rather than just nothing month after month. Totally irrational I know as no baby plus trauma rather than just no baby, but this lark makes you crazy i think.

Shobe I have been known to test WHILE I HAVE A PERIOD . Meh, they're only like ten pee when you buy them in bulk right? And erm, I am slightly glad that you say that (about having 'caught') - in my darkest moments have wishes that SOMETHING had happened, even if I had an mmc, because at least I'd know it was all working. But I've had 18 months of nothing (aside from a few months of haywire bleeding and who knows what the fuck that was).

Aries I have here some cashmere and some fine-guage knitting needles. Would you prefer bootees or a little cardigan?

Um....any knitted garment will lovely, Bloof me old salt. Any colour you like

I use OPKs but I'm afraid I buy they dear ones with the smiley face as I frankly found it easier to interpret hieroglyphics than assess whether one line was definitely as dark as or darker than the other one. I never bother about the fluid intake thing, old smiler still seems to pop up each month.

The thing with OPKs is that you will ovulate 12-36 hours after you get a +ve. The little swimmers need to already be in the tube by the time this happens so ideally you need to have done sexing the day before the +ve OPK as well as doing it on the +ve day and one day after for max effect. Sooooo, I try to do my version of The Deanna Plan (google it). I do sexing every other day from day 14 (because I ov. quite late). Deanna recommends day 10 but we run out of energy too early if we do that. Once I get a +ve I do 3 nights of sexing in a row, plus we use preseed. It worked 1st time (after 15 months of failure) to conceive DD but had no such luck with no.2 (been trying since Jan).

Anyway, as we're all going to SMACK THE RAT this month, a few pounds on smiley-face pee sticks is nothing, right?

Thanks ladies, though I would have been impressed if I had been this month so today is a new start. I am going to smack the rat and there's no stopping me!

My OPK has just smiled back at me, grinned even. I'm deffo gonna be preggers this month, I could just tell from his expression.

Hey RAT, prepare to be SMACKED!

Get cracking herethere.

I have at least 2 acquaintances who have summoned partners back from work at said smiley face.

One had to get a FLIGHT.

Don't let us down.

Okay. I just peed on an ovulation test digital stick thing.

The 3 minute wait is AGONISING.

Oh arse biscuits. Big fat O.

Harumph.

What does a stupid peed on stick know anyway. I'm going for a run. And I'm going to have sex ANYWAY tonight, so there. Ha.

Sorry to hear about the AF epidemic, but this is, of course, just CD1 of the month you will get pregnant.

Aubergine - what news?

And where is my ovulation? Now CD21 and my faith in pregnancy is wavering... I may require intervention to overrule these little voices that keep whispering about the necessity of an egg somewhere in this whole process. I have to ovulate soon, my pelvis hurts from all the sexing and I just want to go to sleep tonight.